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Modern Family S08E06

Part 3 Nov. 28, 2019, 11:51 a.m.

You're in the state congress,
而我曾参加过低年级翻筋斗大赛[议会]
and I was in the Junior Tumbling Congress.
我也参加过翻筋斗大赛
I was in Tumbling Congress.
你玩蹦床吗
You trampoline?
我一周有三晚都在玩蹦床
I'm on my tramp like three nights a week!
剩余的几晚我都在陪我的娇妻
The rest of the time, I'm -- I'm with my wife.
我带着全现款且无额外条件的报价找到那卖♥♥家
So, I go back to the seller with an all-cash no-contingency offer
我的报价不仅够他还清房♥贷
that'd pay off both his mortgages
而且他的资本收益
and leave enough after capital gains
还足够付一间公♥寓♥的首♥付♥款
to put a down payment on a condo.
我给他一小时否则我就撤回报价
I give him an hour or I'm pulling the offer.
我喜欢这故事就像西部片一样
I love this story. It's like a western.
真是场噩梦
It was a nightmare.
翻筋斗往事烂笑话他们居然照单全收了
Tumbling stories, bad jokes, and they ate it up!
要我说他们只是客套一下
I'd say they were being polite,
但我曾亲眼看到其中两个狠人
but I've personally seen two of those guys
开车撞倒了行人时减速都不减速呢
hit pedestrians and not even slow down!
不真人真事真人真事
No, true story! True story.
失陪一下
One second.
这些人赞爆了
These guys are great.
听着
Listen.
你还差一股劲把气氛炒到最热而我在想
You need one more move to drive this home, and I'm thinking,
菲尔如何把派对炒热到前无古人后无来者
what does Phil bring to the party no else does?
魔术
Magic.
你确定吗我有点生疏了
Are you sure? I'm a little rusty.
我看好你
My money's on you.
大秀一场然后滚蛋
Go big, then go home.
-听上去像是你... -大家注意下
- Sounded like you said -- - Hey, everybody!
菲尔要给你们表演几个魔术
Phil's gonna do a little magic trick for you.
好吧
Okay, uh...
这个魔术献给这里所有的律师
This one is for all of the lawyers in the room
因为你们可擅长将我们的钱...
because you're so good at making our money...
给变没了
disappear.
稍等
Oh, hold on.
莫里议员别再提纳税了
Congressman Morley, enough with the taxes.
你也没见我们逼你
You don't see us making you pay...
付大钱[从鼻孔]
through the nose.
等等大家别动我能搞定
Okay, hold on. Nobody move, I got this!
我骗谁呢我睡不着觉的
Who am I kidding? I can't fall asleep.
每声汽车警报以及那窸窣的风声
Every car alarm, every whistle of the wind
听上去都像有人在嘲笑我
sounds like people laughing at me.
这些都是你的臆想
It's all in your imagination.
我只想付费电视上看看《极品老妈》
I just want to Netflix and Mom.
曼尼你不明白
Manny, you don't understand.
一小时前我放了一缸的完美的热水
An hour ago, I had made the perfect tub!
再次向你表示感谢但没啥帮助
Yeah, thanks again for that, but it didn't help.
糖果我爱糖果
Sugar! I love sugar!
好了够了
Okay, that is it!
你小子不想去睡觉
You don't want to go to sleep!
而你小子不想去参加派对
And you don't want to go to the party!
-那我这就取消今晚的时光 -妈妈
- Then I'm canceling the nighttime! - Mom?
你听见了已经到明天了
You heard me. It's tomorrow.
我们这就去学校到车上等我
We're going to school. Wait for me in the car.
你好杰
Hey, Jay.
如果你听到留言求你快...
If you get this, please come --
现在没人能帮你了
No one can help you now!
看上去大家都来了
Yo, looks like everyone made it.
但弗拉德在哪
But where's Vlad?
那个拉脱维亚的交换生吗
The exchange student from Latvia?
我没见到他
I haven't seen him.
我真想再见见那个美男
I'd love to catch up with that dreamboat.
高中毕业后发生太多的事了
So much has happened since high school.
酗酒
Alcoholism.
我试图从酒瓶底寻找幸福
I tried to find happiness in the bottom of a bottle.
对人生苦痛惊天地泣鬼神的描述
A shattering depiction of human suffering.
但还不足以描述我的感受
But enough about how I felt.
我依旧记得我和弗拉德
I just keep remembering how Vlad and I
在高中♥共♥度的快乐时光
had the best time in high school.
对我们中某些人来说却是最后的快乐时光
For some of us, that was the last best time.
越南战争
Vietnam.
这高中时代是发生在哪个年代啊
What time period was all this taking place?
完全说不通
It didn't make any sense.
我和弗拉德分手的那些事
The way things ended with me and Vlad,
至今令我心有余悸
it still haunts me.
很多事也都还令我心有余悸
A lot of things haunt me.
那是毕业舞会的夜晚
It was the night of the prom.
出车祸
Car accident.
路面上结满了冰
The roads were very icy.
-出车祸嘛 -不知道别瞎说
- Car accident. - You don't know.
透过迷雾我看见了卡车的车头灯
Through the mist, I saw the truck's headlights.
当我醒来医生告诉我我经历了一场惨烈的
When I came to, the doctor told me we'd been in a horrible
-车祸 -车祸
- car accident! - Car accident.
大姐你有没有搞错
Oh, you've got to be kidding me.
米奇尔这里是剧院放尊重点
Mitchell, this is the theater. Have some respect.
你只需要乖乖坐着别出声
All you have to do is sit there and be quiet.
泰咪你绝不会相信谁来了
Tammy, you are never gonna believe who's here.
-是谁 -弗拉德
- Who? - Vlad.
天啊他在哪里
Oh, my God, where?
就在那
Out there.
就是他他就是弗拉德
There he is. That's Vlad.
我发誓我不知道他们为啥选你
I swear I didn't know they were gonna pick you.
他们可能觉得你会比较逗
They probably assumed you were fun
因为你是和我一起的他们太傻太天真
because you were with me. They didn't know.
弗拉德快上台来
Vlad, come up here.
挪开你的乡下大屁♥股♥ 我要走人了
Move your country ass. I'm -- I'm leaving.
不不
No, no.
你就上台去拥抱一下泰咪
Just go up there, hug Tammy,
然后等着惊喜结局就好
and wait for the surprise ending.
我才不在乎什么惊喜结局
I don't care about the surprise ending!
你上去演弗拉德去
You go be Vlad.
我不能演弗拉德因为我就是那个惊喜结局
I can't be Vlad because I am the surprise ending.
-什么 -那将是令观众掌声不断的表演
- What? - And it's a show-stopper.
我已经排练好几周了
I've been rehearsing for weeks.
你别这么自私了快上台去吧
Now, just stop being selfish and get up there.
你就上去吧
Just do it!
我们都想快点完事走人
We all want to get out of here!
弗拉德
Vlad.
我也不知道是何时用什么招
I didn't know how, I didn't know when,
但我知道此仇不报非君子
but I was gonna get him.
弗拉迪宝贝亲爱的你来了
Vladdie, sweetie, you're here.
你真的来了
Oh, you're really here.
自重
Not okay.
多圆♥满♥的结局啊
Oh, what a happy ending.
我也"圆♥满♥"了
I'll say.
行了行了
Okay, okay.
你的口香糖都跑我嘴里来了
That-That is your gum.
多棒的同学会啊
What a great reunion.
是啊所有人都来了
Yeah, everybody made it.
几乎所有人
Almost everybody.
同学们好
Hello, students!
校工老乔
Janitor Joe!
或者我该说同学们永别了
Or should I say farewell?
突然间我有了复仇的灵感
All of a sudden, I knew how.
同学们又见面了
Hello again, students.
或者我该说永别了
Or should I say farewell?
此时不报更待何时
And I knew when.
等等大家都看到他的鬼魂了吗
Wait, wait, does-does anybody else see his ghost right now?
什么
What?
是啊有谁能忘记
Yeah, who could forget
他鼓起勇气来参加我们25周年的同学会
how he courageously showed up to our 25th
然后死在我们所有人面前的情景