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Modern Family S08E05

Part 2 Nov. 28, 2019, 11:50 a.m.

我承认过去我太放纵自己了
And I admit, in years past, I may have overindulged.
他每次吃糖吃到嗨到山顶
Which leads to a crazy high
过后就会飙泪自我厌恶到谷底
followed by a tearful, self-loathing crash.
简直就是《醉乡情断》的翻版
It's a Days of Red Vines and Roses.
美国1966年电影讲述从小酌变成酗酒
最后幸福家庭被击垮的故事
不给糖就捣蛋
Trick or treat!
拿一颗吧
Yep, just take one.
我记得那个笑声今年休想得逞
I know that laugh. Not this year.
放手
Drop it.
你疯了
You're crazy.
对为正义疯狂
Yeah, crazy for justice!
你穿得像个恶棍
And just because you're dressed like a villain
不见得就要表现得像个恶棍
doesn't mean you have to act like one!
天啊你敢相信吗
Oh, my God. Can you believe that?
对啊一个九岁的孩子
Yes, a 9-year-old kid
想在万圣节多拿几颗糖
wanting extra candy on Halloween.
真是太"莫名其妙"了
Oh, it is baffling.
说到九岁孩子在万圣节要糖...
Speaking of 9-year-olds wanting candy on Halloween...
等等亲爱的
Okay, just a second, honey.
小卡抓住一个孩子的胳膊
Cam, maybe grabbing a kid's arm
真的不应该啊...
is where we draw the line.
我好像在每一本法律书上都读过
I think I read that in every single law book.
这话听着像是
This sounds like something
我们可以在人行道上边走边聊的内容
we could be talking about on the sidewalk.
稍等亲爱的你知道吗米奇尔
Okay, just a second, honey. You know what, Mitchell?
就是那个小混♥蛋♥每年都拿一大把糖走
That same little jerk grabs a handful of candy every year.
他是我的万圣节死敌
He's my Halloween nemesis.
这是一条社会契约
There is a social contract.
说一句"不给糖就捣蛋" 只能拿一颗糖
You say "Trick or treat," you get one piece of candy.
这契约一但瓦解我们就离没有法制
That breaks down, we're just a hop, skip, and a jump
以破珠子和牙齿当钱的原始社会不远了
to a lawless wasteland where we use beads and teeth for money!
你刚才说才吃第一根巧克力棒对吧
That was your first candy bar, you say?
你也许应该摄入点蛋白质
You think maybe you should have a little protein
来平衡一下糖分
to balance that out?
我不需要蛋白质
I don't need any protein.
可是老天爷好像想你补充"蛋白质"呢
I feel like the universe is telling you differently.
是谁干的
Who did that?!
他朝那边跑了经过了所有发糖的房♥子
He went that way! Past all the houses handing out candy!
交给我吧
I'm on it!
不你看他叫乔
No, see, his name is Joe.
对可不都是小孩扮耶稣吗
Yeah, but wouldn't the child be Jesus?
这个电♥话♥我得接
I got to take this.
跟她解释我们这是在干嘛
Tell her what we're doing with this.
我老公要下地狱了
My husband is going to hell
他想拖着我们所有人一起
and he's trying to take us with him.
你好
Hello?
好吧我到厄尔的卧室了
Okay, I'm in Earl's bedroom.
你想看我展示他的鞋吗
Do you want me to show you his shoes
这样你就能选让我塞鱼进哪一双
so you can pick which ones I shove fish into?
追随你的内心孩子等等那是什么
Follow your heart, kid. Wait a minute. What's that?
什么
What?
你身后墙上那幅画
That picture on the wall behind you.
那是什么我看看
What is that? Let me see it.
大卫·索尔在《警界双雄》里饰演哈奇
David Soul played Hutch in "Starsky and Hutch."
1975年电视剧
我的其中一个绝妙橱柜哏
Now, one of my groovier closet ideas
是个为你把滑雪板
was a hutch for your skis
锁在衣柜里处的架子
that latched onto the end of your closet.
我称之为柜"索"雪板
I called it the "Storeski End Hutch".
大卫·索尔还因此给了我签名照
David Soul gave me a signed picture.
有一天那张照不见了
Well, one day, the picture disappears
厄尔假装自己是无辜的
and Earl plays innocent.
但其实多年来他就是真凶
But the whole time, he's had it.
真讽刺这剧情能拍成
Ironically, this would've been
很好看的一集《警界双雄》呢
a great episode in "Starsky and Hutch."
偷那副画
Steal that picture!
可是鱼怎么办
But what about the fish?
别管鱼了
Forget the fish!
所以说
Oh, so, for no reason,
我这条红鲱鱼白拿了
I've just been carrying around this red herring?
我要那副画
I want that picture.
你想要就自己来偷
You want it, you steal it.
我还是有点自尊的
I still have some self-respect.
歌♥洛莉亚你肯定不敢相信
Gloria, you won't believe this.
什么
What?
刚才克莱尔打来
That was Claire.
曼尼没去卢克的派对
Manny never showed up at Luke's party.
他们觉得他是去苏菲家的派对了
They think he went to Sophie's.
我对他真失望
So disappointed in him.
我知道我也不想开车过去
I know, and I hate to drive over there
揪他去卢克的派对
and drag him to Luke's,
但我知道至少比试图阻止你要容易点
but I know better than to try to stop you.
虽然下他面子不太好
I feel bad about embarrassing him,
但这件事我已经跟他说清楚过
but I was very clear about this.
可能下次他就会懂你意思[拿到照片]了
Well, maybe next time he'll... get the picture.
你为什么要笑得这么诡异
Why did you just chuckle like that?
没事胡子有点痒
Nothing. The -- The beard tickles.
来吧我开车
Come on, I'll drive.
-给你 -抱歉我忘了带上尾巴了
- Here you go. - Sorry I forgot that, buddy.
我本来可以自己去拿的
I would have grabbed it myself,
但我们想尊重你的
but we were trying to respect
"无父母"派对
the whole "No parents" thing.
对了如果我进你的派对找尾巴[监视]
Also, how would it look if I went into your party
感觉会很怪吧
looking for some tail?
这笑话下次还要再讲一遍假装没听过
I'm gonna reuse that later. Act surprised.
好
Yeah.
亲爱的里面情况如何
Hey, honey. How's it going in there?
超棒的
Huh? Oh. Awesome.
我得走了
Yeah, I got to go.
我知道你会说我是个
I know you were going to say
神经质的保护欲过度的妈妈可是我...
that I'm being a neurotic, overly protective mom, but I --
我也看出来了卢克有点不对劲
I saw that, too. Something's up with Luke.
你觉得他是不是搞不定
You think he's in over his head?
我得去查查他我该去吗
I should check on him. Should I check on him?
我该去查查他
I should check on him.
你比我还疯的时候最性感
You are never sexier than when you out-crazy me.
不要让任何人发现你
Don't let anyone see you.
我已经...
I am way a...
领先你一"头"了
head of you.
我不是真的海狸是我你♥爸♥
Shh! I'm not a real beaver! It's me -- Dad!
你在搞什么鬼
What are you doing?
我只是想确认一切没事
I just wanted to make sure everything's okay.
卢克看起来很难过
Luke seems upset.
大家都去哪儿了
Where is everybody?
都跑去楼上了吗我说了不准上楼
Are people upstairs? I said nobody upstairs!
楼上没人连楼下也没人
Nobody's upstairs. Nobody's even downstairs.
这里大概也就五个人而已
They are literally like five people here.
你好啊我最亲爱的
Hello, my dearest.
好吧四个人加一个罗本
Well, four, and Reuben.
我看你扮的是"世界上最美的女人"
I see your costume is The Most Beautiful Woman in the World.
闭嘴罗本你让一切都变得很瞎
Shut up, Reuben. You make everything terrible.
所以我们散了
And we're off.
别自作多情
Don't flatter yourself!
就因为我自己过万圣节
Just because I'm alone on Halloween
不代表我没有很多追求者
doesn't mean I don't have plenty of suitors!
上周一个优步司机请求看我的美足呢
Last week, an Uber driver asked to see my feet!
罗本你在听我说吗
Reuben, are you listening to me?!
罗本
Reuben!
-最后一个 -很好因为你现在在颤抖
- One last one. - Good. 'Cause you're vibrating right now.
是气到发抖不是糖吃多了是愤怒
With rage -- Not sugar, rage.
你们好打扰一下你好