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Modern Family S08E09

Part 2 Nov. 28, 2019, 11:51 a.m.

Don't make me regret marrying outside the big top.
什么
What?
我们得擦亮眼睛看好
We got to keep our eyes peeled
那些尝试偷带酒进来的孩子
for kids trying to bring alcohol in here.
这工作不喝酒我没法干好
I cannot make it through this thing without a drink.
玛乔丽十二点方向
Marjorie, 12:00.
天哪
Oh, God.
快假装我们在吵架
Quick, pretend we're having a fight.
她就不会过来了
Then she won't come over here.
你偷了该我继承的遗产你傍大款
You stole my inheritance, you gold digger!
你这话准备好很久了吧
Wow, you had that one ready to go.
你们在这啊
There you are.
你们收到我的短♥信♥了吗
Did you get my texts?
看看我没收的酒
Look what I've already confiscated.
真可耻交给我吧
Oh, shameful. I'll take that.
我还需要志愿者打电♥话♥给家长
So, I still need volunteers to call parents
请他们提供无声拍卖♥♥会的拍品
for silent auction items.
我已经排了六个小时的班
I've divided it into six-hour shifts,
所以如果你们能轮流打半个小时电♥话♥
so if you switch ears every half-hour,
那就太棒了
it's actually not bad.
我能拜托你们两位女士吗
Can I count on you two ladies?
我太忙了但我不能替歌♥洛莉亚做决定
I'm so busy, but I can't speak for Gloria.
偶电♥话♥英语不咋地
My phone English no so good.
我懂我有点爱唠唠叨叨
I get it. I'm a bit of a nag-eroo.
就像我妈总开玩笑说
Like my mom always jokes,
你知道你该去烦谁吗
you know who you should bore with this?
你老公对了他离开你了
Your husband. Oh, right, he left you.
那个女人太神经兮兮了
That woman is so uptight.
你知道她需要什么吗
You know what she needs?
一个男人
A man.
你的想法太过时了
That is a very old-fashioned attitude,
但在这种情况下还是很贴切的
which in this case, seems pretty accurate.
男人男人男人我们去哪找个男人
A man, a man, a man. Where can we find one.
你好 Siri 录一下鉴宝节目
Hey, Siri, record "Antiques Roadshow."
我一个都想不到
I can't think of anyone.
布朗校长
Principal Brown.
他单身我们可以撮合他们
He's single. We could fix them up.
在这个冬季舞会上相恋
At the winter dance. Mm-hmm.
太浪漫了
That's so romantic.
对如果她能多关注自己
Yes, and maybe she'll get off our backs
就能少烦一点我们了
if she spends more time on hers.
你真是你♥爸♥的亲儿子
You really are your father's son.
你还好吗
Hey, you okay?
有人刚在所有人面前嘲笑了我的领结
Guy just made fun of my bow tie in front of everyone.
问我是不是故意gay里gay气的
Asked if I was trying to look gay.
不你带着很好看
Oh, that is charming.
我猜高中还是以前的老样子吧
So I-I guess high school hasn't changed that much, has it?
听着我想让你重新戴上这个领结
Look, I want you to put this back on
骄傲地戴着
and wear this with pride.
你扔进去之前它就湿透了是吗
This was soaking wet before you threw it in there, right?
我们还是扔了它吧没事的
We're gonna let it go. It's fine.
好了
All right.
吐槽你的蠢货在哪里
Where is this idiot?
你是故意想要gay里gay气吗
Are you trying to look gay?
因为你没有胸肌没有大毛孔
'Cause you don't have the pecs, the pores,
也没有男子气概猛♥男♥
or the pants for it, slugger.
有句比较老的话跟你发型差不多年头
Hey, here's a reference that hairstyle's old enough to get.
发型不可则止 "舞"自辱焉
It's not twerking.
好吧你就是个就是个是个...
Yeah, well, you're just -- you're just a -- you're a --
你是个你是个...
You're a -- you're a --
我先去跳个舞啊
So, I'm gonna go squeeze in a dance real quick
你就慢慢在这里结巴说完这句话吧
while you stagger to the end of that sentence.
我是《每日海豚报》莱斯丽·关·柯林斯
Leslie Kwan Collins, Daily Dolphin.
我认识你好吗
I know who you are.
我们打从幼儿园就是朋友了
We've been friends since kindergarten.
你愿意评价一下我线人所说的
Care to comment on what my sources are calling
"有史以来最棒的冰雪舞会吗"
"The best Snow Ball ever?"
好但这场派对的成功
Sure, but I'm not the one responsible
不是我一个人的功劳
for this party's success.
也是他们的
They all are.
我只不过是让这一切发生的谦虚公仆
I'm just a humble servant who made it all happen.
让我们单独谈谈好吗谢谢
Can you excuse us, please? Thank you.
我真是服了你了
You are unbelievable.
打住我承受不起那么多赞美
Stop. I can't keep hearing this.
我才是让这一切发生的人
I'm the one who made all this happen.
你知道凭八千块办起这活动有多难吗
Do you have any idea how hard it is doing all this for $8,000?
你当然不知道因为...
Yeah, of course not, because --
等一下舞会的预算是八百块块
Wait, wait, wait. The budget for this was $800.
你花了八千吗
You spent $8,000?
那可是一整年的经费预算
That's the budget for the whole year.
我发短♥信♥问你"冰雪舞会的预算是多少"
I texted you, "What's my budget for the Snow Ball."
你回复了八千还有一张无聊的动图
You replied $8,000, followed by a gratuitous gif
一张男人撞到蛋蛋的动图
of a guy getting hit in the nards.
就像是在说别在栏杆上滑板就好啦
It's like just don't skateboard down a railing, right?
-布朗校长 -什么事
- Principal Brown. - Yep?
如果我们学生会的预算想稍微超额
If we were to go over with the student council budget,
再多要一点预算会有多难呢
how hard would it be to get a little extra money?
没问题啊
Oh, no problem.
我们只需要把教员休息室里名画卖♥♥了就行
We would just sell the Rembrandt in the faculty lounge.
看到没问题解决了
See? Problem solved.
-他是在说反话 -怎么了有什么问题吗
- He's being sarcastic. - Why? What's wrong?
没有只是在玩"如果钱都花完了"的游戏
Nothing. Just playing "What if all the money got spent?"
你能想象那情景吗
Oh, can you imagine?
预算没了我们就得取消
We'd have to cancel
其他所有的学校活动
every other school event,
先拿摔跤队的庆功宴开刀
starting with the wrestling banquet,
那些狂躁的神经病会把你们头拧掉的
and those hopped-up psychos would rip your heads off!
然后你们就会流血而死
And then you'd bleed to death
因为我们再也没钱请校医了对吗
'cause we can't afford a school nurse anymore, right?
生蚝
Oysters.
想得美小伙子们
Oh! Nice try, boys!
没你们的事了
You guys are cool.
快走开
Just, uh, move along.
小卡你知道一个叫达米安·沃马克的小孩吗
Hey, Cam. Uh, do you know a kid named Damien Warmack?
当然知道
Oh, yeah.
-很刻薄的小孩 -对
- Mean little kid. - Yeah.
他嘲笑我所有的防守队员肥死人
He fat shamed my whole defensive line.
看着一个曾经彪悍的中卫把沙拉里的
There's nothing more sad than watching
烤面包丁挑出来真是人间惨剧
a once terrifying nose tackle pick croutons out of his salad.
天啊我现在好纠结
Oh, God, I'm so conflicted.
有个同性恋小孩在欺负橄榄球员
A gay kid is now bullying football players,
虽然看似是种进步
which I guess, you know, seems like progress,
但这种进步是错误的
but the wrong kind of progress.
您要不要吃点...
Would you like a --
反正大部分烤面包片最后都是被丢掉的嘛
In my defense, bruschetta mostly ends up on the floor anyway.
小卡你好像
Cam, I think you might be
太过担心恶作剧的事了
more worried about this prank than you need to be.
真搞不懂他们为什么想要整我
Well, I just don't understand why they want to prank me.
我还以为他们喜欢人家
I thought they liked me.
他们当然喜欢你啦
Of course they like you.
对不喜欢的人那不叫整
You can't prank someone you don't like.
叫做... 叫做攻击
That's -- that's just assault.
但整你其实是他们在用
But pranking you is their bizarre way
扭曲变♥态♥的方式向你表白
of saying that they love you.
这是你在用扭曲变♥态♥的方式安慰我吗
Is this your bizarre way of not validating my feelings?
我们可以去打保龄球
Okay, we could go bowling.
昨晚刚去打完现在打球的兴致是"龄"
Hmm. Had my league last night. I'm a little bowled out.
好吧那打一轮迷你高尔夫球呢
Fair enough. Round of mini golf?
好主意你等着
Great idea. Wait up.
我去拿我的青蛙和弹弓
I'll go get my frog and my slingshot.
我们骑单车到下面去