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Modern Family S08E07
Part 4
Nov. 28, 2019, 11:51 a.m.
你这个畜生
Hello, you son of a bitch.
希望那个除臭剂好用 因为你就是个臭家伙
Hope you like that deodorant, 'cause you stink!
退疣灵
Wart remover --
见效的话 你全身就要不见了
well, if that works, there'll be nothing left.
哎哟哟 诺伯特和普里契特
Well, well, well. Norbert and Pritchett.
杰 一直没机会向你道谢
Jay, I don't think I ever got a chance
多谢你让我赚进了第一辆法拉利
to thank you for buying me my first Ferrari.
祝你开下悬崖
I wish you drove it off a cliff.
我的豪♥宅♥就在悬崖上
Like the one my house is on,
也是用你的钱买♥♥的 太感谢了
which you also paid for, thank you?
我们不是要把他拿下的吗
This doesn't sound like we're getting him.
你们想要免费法律建议吗 伙计们
Look, you want some free legal advice, fellas?
送你们三个词 娘们 滚吧 废柴
Three words -- Ladies. Leave. Losers.
不 先生 我们有三个字送你
No, sir, we have three words for you.
你 有没 羞...
Have you no sh-- have you --
没有... 没羞没躁 四个字
have no -- have you no shame -- it can be four words.
这傻蛋是谁
Who's this chuckle-head?
你永远也不会认识的人
Someone who you're never gonna know,
因为我结婚以来大部分时间都很幸福
'cause I'm happily married most of the time.
大家都这么说
Aw, that's what they all say.
然后有一天你老婆醒了之后说 "我的天
Then one day your wife wakes up and says, "Oh, my God!
我嫁了个傻♥逼♥"
I married a moron!"
她给我打电♥话♥ 我接起来说
She calls me, and I'm like,
"你好 傻蛋夫人..."
"Hello, Mrs. Chuckle--"
挺准的
Yeah, that's about right.
他可能是心脏病发了
He might have had a heart attack.
我们好像该做点什么吧
We probably ought to do something.
我之前有看到那边有香槟
Oh, I saw some champagne back there.
他倒这儿了
It's the guy on the ground!
拿着除颤器 我去报♥警♥
Oh! Take the defibrillator, I'll call 911.
两位帮帮我 我根本不会用这个
Guys, help me out. I don't know what I'm doing.
我看了好多《实习医生格蕾》
I watch a lot of "Grey's Anatomy,"
不过所有不浪漫的镜头我全快进了
but I fast-forward through the non-romantic scenes.
不不不 不能救他
No no no, we're not gonna save him!
杰瑞 别这样 杰瑞
Jerry, no, Jerry.
杰 把他拉开
Jay, get him off me!
看看他的购物篮 活得也不是舒适
Look at his basket. Wasn't much of a life.
天啊 我肯定会后悔的
Ah, hell, I'm gonna regret this.
我感觉好点了 普里契特 应该只是胀气
I'm feeling better, Pritchett. I think it was just gas.
以防万一
Better safe than sorry.
一部分错在我
Oh, I deserve some of the blame.
我把农场风情画弄得太有吸引力了
I made my farmscape too inviting.
好吧 简直一团糟
Okay. This is a mess.
我们要怎么办
What are we gonna do now?
艾丽克斯 需要牺牲多少条羊命
Alex, how many goats have to die
你才能停止对高中小鲜肉
until you get a handle on your insatiable appetite
无休止的渴望
for high-school boys?
其实 这是我的错
Actually, I-it's my fault.
德怀特 我们长得好看的人
Ooh, Dwight. We're good-looking guys.
不为自己有吸引力而道歉
We don't apologize for it.
我把毯子拿来了 山羊先生
I got you a blanket, Mr. Goat.
不不不不
No, no, no, no, no!
我们去烟囱旁边等圣诞老人
We're going to wait for Santa Claus by the chimney!
但今天是感恩节啊
But it's Thanksgiving.
山羊先生怎么办
What about Mr. Goat?
为什么我听不到他的声音了
How come I don't hear him anymore?
山羊先生没事啦
Ay, Mr. Goat is fine!
你听到了吗
Did you hear that?
你说什么 山羊先生
What is it, Mr. Goat?
他说他想静静
He's saying that he needs some time alone.
看 这些是给圣诞老人的饼干
Look, there's some cookies for Santa.
给你 去烟囱边坐着等好吗
Here, why don't you go and sit by the chimney and wait.
圣诞老人
Santa!
我不应该插嘴你孩子的教育
Hey lookit, it's not my place to try to parent your kids.
-很好 -但是我们在农场上学到的就是
- Good. - But one thing we learn on the farm
死亡是生命的一部分
is that death is a part of life.
你敢告诉乔那只山羊出事了
If you tell Joe what happened to that goat,
死亡将会是你生命的一部分
death is gonna be part of your life.
其实孩子的承受能力比你想象中要大得多
You know what, kids can handle a lot more than you think.
而且从出生到死亡的每一步
And every step, from birth till the end,
都有它自身的魅力
has its own magical beauty.
是要把山羊塞进垃圾桶里
So, do we jam the goat in the garbage
还是扔到围栏外
or heave it over the fence?
好好教你的孩子吧
Teach your children well.
谢谢你刚刚救了我
Hey. Thanks for before.
推了我一把 免得被山羊撞上
You know, pushing me out of the way of the goat.
不用谢啦
Don't worry about it.
为了保护领导人而已
It's more about protecting the office.
我们都知道应该是你当主席的
Look, I think we both know you should have been president.
或许我一直找你麻烦是因为我嫉妒你
Maybe I've been hard on you 'cause I'm jealous.
好呀
Yeah, okay.
我在搬这死羊 你俩却在这里谈情说爱
You two keep making out while I carry the dead goat.
山羊先生
Mr. Goat?
电♥话♥账单上有什么可疑活动吗
Any suspicious activity on that phone bill?
小卡花了100刀打通灵热♥线♥
Well, Cam spent $100 on the psychic hotline...
但是赛季越来越紧张时 这也是正常的
...but that's normal during the run-up to award's season.
我刚看到南瓜酱快吃完了
I just saw we were running out of pumpkin dip,
我知道你最喜欢这个 就给你拿了点过来
and I know it's your favorite, so I brought you some.
你到底在玩什么把戏
What's your game?
-没错 亮出你内衣里的乾坤 -什么
- Yeah, show us your underwear. - What?
菲茨宝的事情你为什么这么淡定
Why are we so understanding about Fizbo, huh?
你在隐瞒什么
What are you hiding?
隐瞒
Hiding?
你太可耻了
Shame on you.
今天是感恩节
It's Thanksgiving.
我想跟我的丈夫
I want to celebrate with my husband,
我的女儿 我可爱的家人 杰瑞一起庆祝
my daughter, my lovely family, Jerry.
你们俩把生活看作是一场
I think it's sad that you two look at life
每个人都试着摆脱某些事责任的游戏
as some sort of game where everyone's trying
真是太可悲了
to get away with something.
有的人就是人很好而已
Some people are just nice.
他们信了
They bought it.
其实是我把我们之前
Truth is, I paid for the jamboree
为了去夏威夷度假省下的钱花在这场欢宴上
with money we had saved for a romantic Hawaiian vacation.
我甚至还从密苏里买♥♥了奢华草包寄过来
I even sprung for fancy straw bales flown in from Missouri.
这才叫档次
That's class.
这里出什么事了
The hell happened here?
我这一天也是受够了
I think I felt enough for one day.
可能是我被电击太多的副作用
It's possible I've been electrocuted one too many times.
我今天学到了一些东西
You know, I learned something today.
我看到一个人在我面前差点死了
I saw a man nearly die right in front of me.
而这玩意时刻在提醒我
And this is a constant reminder
我也随时可能有同样遭遇
that it can happen to me at any moment.
很让人不禁思考
It's a lot to think about.
所以老子不戴了
So I'm not gonna.
菲尔 给我拿瓶啤酒
Phil, get me a beer.
杰瑞 给我来杯威士忌
Jerry, get me a scotch.
我今天也有点心得
I learned something today, too.
现在不是时候 杰瑞
It's a lot right now, Jerry.
出什么事了 儿子
What's the matter, kid?
我爱山羊先生
I loved Mr. Goat.
它死了
He died.
求你别抽了
Please don't smoke.
你完全不需要担心 乔
Hey, don't you worry about a thing, Joey.
我会一直在
I'm not going anywhere.
爸 不管你说什么 卡波我去定了
Dad, I don't care what you say. I'm going to Cabo.
行 去吧
You sure are.
对对对 我会被阿兹特克人绑♥架♥
Sure, I'm gonna get kidnapped by Aztecs
已灭绝的墨西哥古文明 存在于14至16世纪
然后扔进火山里献祭 行了
and sacrificed in a volcano. I get it.
不 宝贝 我想要你去
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