摩登家庭
Modern Family S08E05
Part 4
Nov. 28, 2019, 11:50 a.m.
海莉·邓
Haley D!
格里芬
Griffin. Hey.
你怎么来我老妹的派对了
What are you doing at my sister's party?
没什么 帮我妈办点事
Oh, nothing. Just-Just something for my mom.
见到你真是太好了
Wow, it's so good to see you.
你还在做"销♥售♥"业吗
You, uh, still in the sales industry?
惭愧惭愧
Guilty.
有多惭愧 你这身囚衣是变装还是真的
How guilty? That is a costume, right?
是变装 我现在合法销♥售♥了
Yeah. I went legit.
我在药房♥工作 我送货
I work for a dispensary. I deliver.
我的天哪
Oh, my God!
我都忘了你有多讨人喜欢了
I forgot how much I like you.
你说的是小飞象吗
Did you say Dumbo?
不是 是特朗勃
No, Trumbo.
给你补充点背景知识
Little background.
在五十年代 威斯康星州某个
In the 1950s, a certain senator from Wisconsin
名叫乔·麦卡锡的参议员
named Joe McCarthy --
涨知识不如跳舞
Hey! Let's dance!
好吧
Oh, okay.
妈
Mom?
你说你会去卢克家的
You said that you were going to Luke's.
是的 可是杰说
Yeah, but Jay said --
你休想再狡辩 年轻人
Don't you say a word, mister!
我晚点再处理你
I will deal with you later.
杰说只要我往厄尔的鞋里放死鱼
Jay said I could come to the party
我就可以到这个派对来
if I put dead fish in Earl's shoes.
他这些瞎话都是怎么编出来的
Where does he come up with this stuff?
你扮成救世主 居然还敢说谎
Are you lying, dressed as our Lord and Savior?
那是什么 是你刚偷来的吗
What is that? Did you steal that?
不是 我一整晚都随身带着呢
No. I've had this with me all night.
你又说谎
You're lying again!
曼尼 离他远点
Manny, don't stand next to him!
普里契特
Pritchett!
瞧瞧你干的好事
Look what you did!
你这是在干什么
What the hell do you think you're doing?
我们正要走人 厄尔
We're just leaving, Earl!
那张索尔照[灵魂]是我的
That Soul is mine.
-还回来 -等地狱冰封了再说吧
- Give it back! - When hell freezes over!
你过来 厄尔 你给我过来
Come here, Earl! Come here!
一旦他们不再为
As soon as they stop fighting
新找的这个什么破由头打架了
about whatever stupid new thing that they're fighting about,
我们就上车去卢克家
we're getting the car and we're going to Luke's.
我真的没心情去另一个派对了
I'm not really in the mood for another party.
我今晚也没心情侮辱上帝
Well, I wasn't in the mood to insult God tonight,
但《圣经》上还说要"听老公的话"
but the Bible also said, "Listen to your husband."
我对这事看得很认真 别跟我作对
I'm very tense about this, so don't fight me!
给我上车去
And get in the car.
容不下我
I won't fit in.
那就把浴缸放到车顶上
We'll take this bathtub and put it in the roof.
不 我是说那个派对容不下我的
No. I won't fit in at the party.
没人会懂我这变装的哏 妈
Nobody gets me, Mom,
我开始担心永远也不会有人懂我了
and I'm starting to worry nobody ever will.
你的同龄人不懂你又怎么样
Who cares that the kids your age don't get you?
那意味着你比他们都有趣多了
That means that you're more interesting than them.
那意味着你会结交
That means that you're gonna be hanging out around people
更有趣的人
that are more interesting.
你会拥有
You're gonna have a more inter-
更有趣的人生 是啊 我知道
Interesting life. Yes, I know.
我从五岁起就听你这么说了
I've been hearing this speech since I was 5.
什么时候才能成真啊
When's it gonna happen?
耶稣都对恶魔用锁头功了
Jesus has the devil in a headlock.
你还不觉得有趣吗
That's not interesting to you?
不
No!
这是我的
This is mine!
是我想出的柜"索"雪橇这个哏
I'm the one who came up with "Storeski End Hutch."
就像我想出"女医生药恩"这个哏一样
Just like I came up with the "Dr. Quinn Medicine Cabinet."
改自1993年电视剧《女医生奎恩》
你只会抄袭 我才是创新者
You were the hack! I was the visionary!
我看到自己的倒影 不禁自问
I saw my reflection and I asked myself --
如果是耶稣会怎么做
What would Jesus do?
我是时候做个更大度的人了
It's time to be the bigger man.
这事没完 普里契特
This isn't over, Pritchett.
我不想再和你争下去了
I don't want to do this anymore.
你什么意思
Wh-What are you saying?
已经争了太久了 所有的谎言与愤怒
This has gone on too long. The lies, the anger.
以及我今晚在你袜子抽屉里留下的东西
And what I left in your sock drawer tonight.
什么
What?
签名照你留着吧 厄尔 我宽恕你
Keep the picture, Earl. I forgive you.
这样肯定会吓疯那个老混账的
It's gonna drive that son of a bitch crazy.
海莉
Haley.
我都等了一小时了
I have been waiting for over an hour,
然而没有一个人离开这个派对
and not a single person has left this party.
我的天 这是我吃过最好吃的寿司
Oh, my God, this is the best sushi I've ever had.
我第一次能吃出海产的黄狮鱼味
For the first time, I can taste the yellowtail from the sea
和陆产的大米味
and then the rice from the land,
然后又回到海产的海苔味
then back to the sea for the seaweed.
我看你吃海草前还吸了点别的"草"
Looks like you did more than just seaweed.
妈 你太美了
Mom, you're beautiful.
老爸有没有时常夸你美
Does Dad tell you that enough?
如果你的头真的被菜刀砍了
I would hate to see a cleaver
-我会很伤心的 -别说了 宝贝
- in your head for real. - No. Honey.
-莎拉 -邓菲太太
- Sarah? - Mrs. Dunphy.
那是啤酒吗
Is that a beer?
不是我的 求你别告诉我爸妈
It's not mine. Please don't tell my parents.
这一刻我突然意识到
That's when I realized
我根本不需要海莉替我搞垮这个派对
I didn't need Haley to undermine a party.
我只需要释放一个"妈妈炸♥弹♥"
I just needed to drop the Mom-bomb.
你们俩别爽过头了
Don't you two look cozy.
别忘了 单亲妈妈养大一个孩子不容易的
Remember, it's not easy raising a baby by yourself.
快看呀
Oh, look at that!
酒精果冻的吃法可太有趣了
That's a fun way to serve Jell-O.
我得赶紧拍张照片给你们妈妈
Let me get a pic for your moms.
不好吗 别走啊
No? Come on!
好了好了
Okay. Ooh!
现在是不是好多了
Isn't that better?
这下我们终于可以看清楚和听清楚对方了
Now we can all see and hear each other.
不错吧
Nice, huh?
你脸上有点脏东西
You got a little something --
你是哪位 跑来我的派对上搞什么鬼啊
Who are you, and what are you doing at my party?
来确保大家有一个舒适 干净又"安全"的夜晚
Just making sure everybody's having a good, clean, safe time.
有人跟你们讲过关于疱疹的那些事了吧
Somebody's talked to you all about herpes, right?
我们还是去另一个小子的派对吧
Let's just go to that other kid's party.
我跟你说 我跟那个罗德·天助亲热过呢
You know, I made out with Rod Skyhook once.
他超迷我的
He's obsessed with me.
还记得上个星期我们一起吃午饭的时候
Hey, remember last week when we all had lunch together --
你点的是普通薯条 然后大爸帮你撒谎了
You ordered the regular fries and Daddy lied for you.
我去
Damn it.
慢着 他就在那
Wait. There he is.
黑武士 不许动
Darth Vader! Freeze!
好吧
Okay.
你好啊 朋友
Hey, there, fellas.
你看起来有点力不从心啊
You're a little old, aren't you?
你儿子 他拿鸡蛋扔了我
Your son -- He hit me with an egg.
我才没有 而且他还吼我了
No, I didn't! And he yelled at me.
慢着 慢着 你凶我儿子了吗
Whoa, whoa. You yelled at my son?
他抓了一大把糖还嘲讽大笑
He took a handful of candy and laughed.
他每年都这样
He does it every year.
所以呢
So?
所以
So...
你现在什么感觉
...how does it feel?
我感觉 你拿走了大概17分钱左右的糖
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