摩登家庭
Modern Family S08E15
Part 2
Nov. 28, 2019, 11:51 a.m.
I'm like a moth to a flame
而火指的是不上进
if the flame is an underachieving man-child
屁♥股♥上还有卡♥通♥人物纹身的妈宝男
with a tasmanian devil tattoo on his butt.
抱歉 这事要拖得比我预想得久
Sorry, this is going to take longer than I expected.
你能在那等我吗
Can you wait there?
没问题
Sure.
反正我妈也把她的牌友闺蜜都叫到家里去了
My mom's got her poker girls over, anyway.
有个叫凯伦的女人总是对我毛手毛脚
This one lady, Karen, she gets real handsy with me.
她也不算没有魅力吧
She's not un-hot, either.
她就像更老更丰满印度版的艾米莉·布朗特
She's like an older, curvy Emily Blunt but Indian.
美国女演员 曾以《穿普拉达的女王》
获得金球奖最佳女配角提名
别妄想能让我吃醋 本
Don't try to make me jealous, Ben.
我在咖啡店的一个常客
One of my regulars at the coffee shop
总问我想不想乘汽艇
is always asking if I want to do some motorboating.
"汽艇"也能指把脸埋在巨♥乳♥里并发出汽艇的声音
要不是我会晕船 我就同意了
If I didn't get seasick, I'd go.
我不想把话说得太早
Now, okay, I don't want to get ahead of myself,
但奖杯上有每个队员的名字吗
but does the trophy have each of our names,
还是只有队名
or is it just the team name,
因为我有点想要一个自己的奖杯 但
'cause I kind want one of my own, but --
算了 没事 到时我自己找人刻上去
You know what? No, never mind. I'll just get it engraved.
都到了这种时候
Okay, how can you be thinking
你怎么还能只想着保龄球
about bowling at a time like this?
你是指马上要打保龄球比赛的这种时候吗
You mean as we're going in to our bowling championship?
来短♥信♥了
Oh. Text message.
读短♥信♥
Read text message.
您有一条来自马丁的短♥信♥
You have a message from Martin.
"我脑海总想到你们今晚高举奖杯的画面
"I keep picturing you guys holding the trophy later tonight.
逗你玩
Just kidding.
我不会请你们来我的庆功派对的
You're not invited to my victory party.
哈哈"
Ha ha."
你好 马丁
Hello, Martin.
你好 卡梅隆 你好 米奇尔
Hello, Cameron. Hello, Mitchell.
小甜甜·基佬妮队其余的人呢
Where's the rest of Britney Queers?
是小甜甜·击倒你队 马丁
It's the Britney Spares, Martin.
小甜甜·基佬妮队几周前就被淘汰了
The Britney Queers were eliminated weeks ago.
是的 被我们淘汰的
Yes, by us.
最终 所有人都将成为
Eventually, all will fall
我们基城保龄球手的手下败将
to the Gay City Bowlers.
我记不清了 所有球队名都必须用双关吗
I forget. Do all the names have to be puns?
是的 就像理发店名一样
Yes. It's like hair salons.
一如既往的不幸会 马丁
Unpleasant as always, Martin.
咱们在球馆[小巷]里见
I'll see you in the alley.
这话你对不少男人都说过吧
I'm sure you say that to a lot of men.
米奇尔 是菲茨宝
Mitchell! Fizbo!
-什么 -就在那边
- What? - Over there!
小卡 你觉得有没有可能
Cam-Cam, do you think it's possible
是你太纠结菲茨宝的事
with how upset you are about Fizbo
所以可能出现了幻觉
that-that maybe you're seeing things?
才不是
Oh. No.
也许世上还有另一个紫头发穿60号♥鞋的人
Maybe it's another guy with purple hair and a size 23 shoe.
或许丹尼斯·罗德曼也在这打保龄球呢
Maybe Dennis Rodman bowls here!
NBA知名退役球星
咱们开始啦
And we begin.
詹姆斯·皮克特客厅里的灯亮着
Lights up on the living room of James Pickett.
家具和陈设告诉我们他是个有钱人
The furnishings and art tell us he was a wealthy man,
但钱买♥♥不来品味
but his money couldn't buy taste.
四个穿着黑色衣服的女人走了进来
Enter four women in black
她们刚从葬礼上回来
returning from a funeral.
首先 詹姆斯的遗孀克洛伊·杜布瓦皮克特
First, James' widow Chloe Dubois-Pickett...
是我
That's me!
一位美丽的已婚法国女士
...A beautiful french commoner who married up.
乌啦啦
Ooh, la la.
然后是贝莉 他的外孙女
Next is Bailey, the granddaughter --
可爱又聪明
cute as a button and just as smart.
我喜欢她
I like her.
接着是詹姆斯的妹妹
Following her is James' sister,
阿尔玛·迪勒教授 60多岁
Professor Alma Diller, 60s.
世上没有她解不了的难题
There's no problem she can't solve
除了自己的孤单寂寞
except her own loneliness.
最后是詹姆斯的女儿 凯特
Finally, James' daughter Kate --
迷人 认真 毒舌
attractive, intense, sharp-tongued,
热情转瞬即逝
fleeting moments of warmth.
热情转瞬即逝
Fleeting moments of warmth?
我明白了
I get it.
这就是在讲我们四个人
This is the story of the four of us
不过套上了一层曼尼改编版滤镜
through some sort of distorted Manny lens.
就因为我聪明 我就得是老处♥女♥吗
Yeah, just because I'm smart, I end up a spinster?
你知道如果我会不晕船的话
You know what I could be doing right now
现在会在干嘛吗
if I didn't get seasick?
冷静冷静
Okay, calm down.
这些角色结合了
These characters are a compilation
我所认识的好多其他女性 不是你们
of many other women I've known, not you people.
好了 开始吧
Okay, let's start.
凯特一进来就直接到了书橱面前
Kate enters and crosses straight to the credenza,
迫不及待地给自己倒了一杯红酒
as she pours herself a much-needed glass of wine...
好吧
Mm. Right.
说实话 我真不敢相信
To be honest, I can't believe
这老麻烦拖到现在才死
the old grump didn't die years ago.
漂亮
Nice.
我的第一句词就是说我死去父亲的坏话
My first line is something horrible about my dead dad.
你觉得我是有多冷漠啊
How cold do you think I am?
我刚不是说了 不是你吗
Didn't I just say it's not you?
难道不是吗
Isn't it, though?
什么
What?
老人去世不算事儿
Old people die, get over it?
那不是你20分钟前说的吗
That was, like, 20 minutes ago.
等下
Okay, now, hang on a second.
感觉你们还得吵一会儿
Okay, this seems like a whole thing,
我去喝个水 很快
so I'm just gonna go grab a water real quick.
不是吧
Oh, come on.
你在和谁发短♥信♥
Who are you texting?
没谁
Ahh! No one.
-我只是在看我的星座运程 -骗人
- I'm just reading my horoscope. - Liar.
哪会有人这么晚看自己的星座运程
Why would anyone read their horoscope so late in the day?
事情都已经发生完了
Everything's already happened.
有个男孩 是不是
There's a dude, isn't there?
什么 不是
What? No.
拿着手♥机♥鬼鬼祟祟
Sneaking off with your phone,
洗了头
the clean hair,
穿着唯一合身的一件胸罩 从实招来
your one bra that fits properly -- spill.
好吧
Okay, fine.
是有个男孩
There is a dude.
天呐 别又是个高中生
Oh, god, it's not another high-school boy, is it?
不 他成年了
No. He's legal.
只是在其他方面让人有点尴尬
He's just embarrassing in a different way.
你知道吗 你从小到大一直这样
You know you've been like this your whole life --
对浪漫与情欲方面的自己感到羞耻
ashamed of the romantic, sexual part of you.
说实话 感觉像你觉得自己不配有爱情一样
Honestly, it seems like you think you don't deserve it,
但你配啊
but you do.
如果这个男生有趣 对你也不错
And if this guy is fun and good to you
不骑摩托 就别为难自己了
and doesn't ride a scooter, let it be okay.
海莉
Haley.
谢谢
Thanks.
姑娘们 我不知道
Ladies, I don't know
这现在在上演什么感情大戏
what emotional thing is playing out right now,
但保留一下情感 用在戏剧上如何
but how about you save it for over there?
我发给你了一个超可爱的视频
And then I sent you the cutest video
母狮子在哺乳一只小狗
of a puppy nursing on a mama lion,
你回了什么
and what do you text back?
她把他养胖
She's getting him fat
这样把它当午饭吃掉时更美味
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