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Modern Family S08E12

Part 5 Nov. 28, 2019, 11:51 a.m.

I'm sorry, sir. Enrico's is a couple doors down.
就你一个人吗
So, just yourself?
不是我今晚会跟老婆在这见面
Uh, no, I'll be meeting my wife tonight.
你这么乐观就对了
That's the spirit.
我错过了什么
What'd I miss?
这个薪水太高技术太水的傻子推杆没进
This overpaid bum missed a putt.
我怎么能不喜闻乐见
I'm supposed to not like this.
杰骂我智障吧
Well, call me an idiot, Jay.
的确我跟亚历克莎一起进浴缸泡澡了
Sure enough, Alexa and I did end up in a hot tub together.
但在她喝到第三瓶啤酒时
But around her third beer,
我建议她喝点水免得脱水
I suggested she have some water to stay hydrated.
她就想用嘴堵上我的嘴
She tried to shut me up by kissing me,
我的确挺享受可她一直叫我崔维斯
which I liked, but she kept calling me Travis.
要命了他还在唧唧歪歪吗
Oh, my God! Is it still talking?!
乔不许你这么不尊敬你哥哥
Joe, you don't ever disrespect your brother like that.
也再也不许你送其他小女孩或任何人内♥裤♥
And no more giving underwear to little girls, or anyone else,
因为这很痴汉还很欧洲人
'cause it's creepy and European.
罚你回房♥间待着
Now go to your room.
你的孩子遗传到你最佳的优点的确很开心
It's fun when your kids get your best qualities,
但当你看到他们也学到了
but it's a kick in the gut when they pick up stuff
你身上的缺点时也很难受
you hate about yourself.
我看到了我丑陋没耐心的一面
I saw that ugly, impatient part of me
从我可爱的儿子嘴里冒出来
coming out of my adorable son.
但公平来说他可爱的部分也遗传自我
In fairness, that adorable part also came from me.
我们都遗传到了我妈的红粉面颊松软双唇
We both got my mom's crab-apple cheeks and pillow lips.
亲爱的抱歉我迟到了
Hi, honey. I'm sorry I'm late.
我们出了场大事故
We had a whole incident -- mwah --
仓库里有台涂料混合器炸了
at the warehouse, a paint mixer blew up.
幸好我办公室里还留了这么一套吊带裤
Luckily I had these overalls in my office I could...
你生气了是吧
Oh, you're mad, aren't you?
生气咩
Mad?
毕竟这是我们度过最棒的情人节吗
I mean, was this the best Valentine's day we've ever had?
不是
No.
那这是最烂的吗是的
Was it the worst? Yes.
我给了你很棒的礼物
I gave you a great gift.
我还试着到你办公室给你惊喜
I tried to surprise you at the office.
而你报答我的方式就是订位吃
You repaid the effort by making a reservation
卡车司机餐厅还穿成像《汤姆历险记》男主
at a truck stop and dressing up like Tom Sawyer.
或许这种事在任何人身上都可能发生克莱尔
But hey, maybe this happens to everyone, Claire.
浪漫如浪花浪花死沙滩
Romance fizzles. Magic dies.
但至少我们可以记录下浪漫死去的确切时间呢
At least we can mark the exact time it happened to us,
多亏了你送我这手表
thanks to my new watch,
一只只有1950年的超忙电♥话♥接线员
which only a switchboard operator from the 1950s
能保持它持续上了发条
could keep wound.
你是说这只表吗
You mean this watch?
胡迪尼手铐
The houdini handcuffs.
我去上了魔术课来给你当情人节惊喜
I've been taking magic lessons as a Valentine's surprise.
等等那个出现在你办公室的铰链销♥售♥员
Wait a minute. The supposed hinge salesman at your office.
伟大的大魔师
The great majesto.
我就说嘛我没认出他
Of course. I didn't recognize him
因为他没穿他招牌的问号♥拖地长袍
without his floor-length robe covered in question marks.
而且我们真的在过旁边的那家
And we also really do have a reservation
超棒餐厅有订位
at that really nice place down the street.
所以我们赶紧买♥♥单走人吧
So, we should probably get your check.
不好意思买♥♥单
Excuse me. Can we get the check?
但是你穿这样能去...
But are you really dressed for...
太赞了我...
So wonderful. I can't...
走吧亲爱的我们该走了
Come on, honey. We should get going.
等等你有手铐钥匙吗
Wait, uh, do you have the key?
没有但是你有
No. But you do.
我不配有你如此贤妻
I don't deserve you.
亲爱的你给了我一个永生难忘的情日
Honey, you gave me a V.D. I will carry with me always.
就好好说"情人节"吧
Let's say "Valentine's day."
我一直觉得你赢不了我的礼物但你真赢了
You know, I never thought you'd beat my gift, but you did.
亲爱的
Oh, honey.
我开始觉得我的秋千礼物像是挥棒落空
I'm beginning to think that mine was a swing and a miss.
才没有你的礼物正中红心
Hardly. Yours was fantastic.
要我说秋千老婆两不空
But how about a swing with a Miss?
-你今天真是绝了 -对啊
- You are killing it today! - I know!
你又把它罩上了吗
Did you cover that again?
没有啊太奇怪了
I didn't. That's weird.
什么鬼
What the hell?
我把它移到了门廊
I transported it to the porch.
不用谢
You're welcome.
我没请他这么做啊
I didn't ask him to do that...
也没告诉过他我们住哪里
or tell him where we live.