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Modern Family S08E02

Part 3 Nov. 28, 2019, 11:50 a.m.

Alex's laptop had every piece of homework
完成过的所有作业
she ever did in high school.
简直就是传说中的圣杯
It was the Holy Grail...
是这么叫吧
I think.
多亏了艾丽克斯的当年努力
Thanks to Alex's hard work,
我这辈子都不需要学习这词的意思了
I don't know what that is and never will.
不能再来一次了
Not again!
爸我不知道你在家
Oh, Dad, I didn't know you were home.
海莉谢天谢地
Haley, thank God.
你能帮我重启路由器吗
Could you reset the router for me?
我也想可我午饭吃晚了
I would, but I took a late lunch from work,
我得赶紧回去上班了
which I have to get back to work.
-你没事吧 -我没事
- Are you okay? - I'm fine.
我只是紧张导致换气过度了
I think I'm just hyperventilating.
可能过个二十来分钟就好了
Should pass in like 20 minutes or s-so.
好吧我要回公♥司♥了
Okay, well, I'm gonna head back.
我也不能老是迟到
Wouldn't want to be consistently late
结果被炒吧
and get fired, right?
艾丽克斯亲爱的
Alex, honey.
乖孩子
Good girl.
乖孩子[狗狗]
Good girl.
输入我知道你能听到我的话
Input! I know you can hear me
因为我看到你闪绿光了
because I can see your green light!
感觉就像在看凶残比特犬跟小鸡
It's like one of those videos where the pit bull
一起游泳的视频一样
swims with the baby chick.
你知道肯定会有坏事发生
You just know something bad's gonna happen.
你的车钥匙呢我需要从你车借电
Where are your keys? I need the jumper cables.
-发生什么了 -我待了一个小时在车上
- What happened? - I spent the last hour in my car,
开窗听黑人放克乐团的歌♥ 听到车没电
listening to the Commodores with my windows down,
结果我们的邻居都没出来过
and the neighbors didn't even come outside.
肯定是你的黑人好朋友哈林篮球队
That must be your good friends the Harlem Globetrotters.
-你好 -你好
- Hey. - Hey!
歌♥洛莉亚邀请我们到泳池边
Gloria invited us to sit by the pool
待到莉莉上完嘻哈课程
till we have to pick up Lily at hip-hop.
我的亚洲孙女在学黑人音乐嘻哈吗
My Asian granddaughter takes a hip-hop class?
我们为什么不去前院聊这件事呢
Why are we not talking about this in the front yard?
我们买♥♥了纸杯蛋糕曼尼吃纸杯蛋糕吗
We brought cupcakes. Manny, cupcake?
我懂了想拿中产阶级的鸦♥片♥堵住我的嘴
Oh, I see. Fill my mouth with bourgie opiates
好让我不能为人♥民♥说话吗
so I can't speak for the people?
受不了啊
That was a lot.
他想让一个共♥产♥主义接♥班♥人的女孩儿亲他
He's trying to get a Communist girl to kiss him.
我们也有关于孩子的烦恼
We have our own kid problems.
今天下午莉莉跟汤姆玩耍期间
I mean, we had an incident this afternoon
发生了一点小摩擦
during Lily's playdate with Tom,
那孩子以前性别认同是"蒂娜"
who used to identify as... Tina.
我不懂你为什么要做这种手势不过我喜欢
I don't totally get the hand thing, but I like it.
他们吵起来了莉莉对他说了最不该骂的话
They had a fight, and Lily said the worst possible thing.
那可怜的男孩已经有太多不幸的经历了
I mean, that poor boy's been through enough. Mm.
他父母肯定也经历了很多困难
Oh, I am sure that the parents have gone through a lot, too.
当然那种事不可能是
Sure. You just don't get comfortable
一下子就能接受的
with something like that overnight.
我问你们一个问题
Let me ask you guys something.
如果某一天莉莉想当卢[男生名]
If, someday, Lily wanted to be Lou
然后去做了全套"切切拼拼"的手术
and had the whole chop-chop, bing-bang thing,
你们会作何反应
how would you be with that?
-我们爱莉莉 -是卢
- We love Lily. - Lou.
我们爱卢
We love Lou.
-无论她做任何事都不会 -是他
- And there's nothing she could do -- - He.
-他 -无论他做任何事
- He. -There's nothing he could do
都不会改变我们的爱
that would change that.
所以你们不像汤姆爸妈那样需要时间适应
So you wouldn't even need the minute that Tom's parents did?
也不是也许需要一点时间
Well, no, no. Maybe a minute.
有很多我多年来一直幻想要做的事
I mean, there'd-there'd be a lot of things that I'd be giving up
都不能实现了
that I've always imagined doing,
比如在婚礼上挽着身着婚纱的她走过红毯
like -- like walking her down the aisle in her wedding dress.
-你懂的 -或是低声在他老公耳边说
- You know? - Or whispering in her husband's ear
丫永远别想取代我
that he'll never replace me.
这就有趣了因为当初
Well, that's interesting, because the minute it took me
我也需要一点时间来接受
to accept the fact that my son
我儿子的生活
was living a different
会和我所预期的不同
kind of life than the one that I anticipated,
米奇尔却说我是个
Mitchell called me an
老顽固直男
old, straight, white bigot.
而如今你们和我如出一辙
And now you're just like me.
我天米奇尔难道莉莉是跟我们学的
Oh, my God, Mitchell. Are we where Lily gets it?
难道我们没有自以为的那么开明吗
Are we not as open-minded as we think?
可仗着自己开明对别人说教是咱的招牌啊
But that's our thing -- lording our tolerance over others.
我想这件事证明了
I guess what this proves is,
每个人都或多或少心存偏见
there's a little bit of prejudice in everyone --
无论是你我
you, me,
还是街对面因为监控摄像头而评判我的邻居
the neighbor across the street judging me for my cameras.
我要去做我早就该做的事
I'm gonna do what I should have done at the beginning --
和他们把话说开
talk to them.
那可不是个好主意
That's not a good idea.
你等着瞧
Watch me!
乔我不会让你去野外生活的
Joe, you're not going to live outside!
好吧
Fine!
艾丽克斯总是电脑不离身
Alex is never away from her laptop,
所以我每次只能偷一份作业
so I had to steal assignments one at a time.
我并不以偷窃为荣
I'm not proud of stealing,
但我也不是不以我的手法为傲
but I'm not unproud of how I'm stealing.
宝贝太对不起了
Oh, honey, I'm so sorry,
但既然你醒了
but now that you're awake,
跟我说说家里发生什么事了
what happened in here, huh?
让我告诉你家里发生什么事了
I'll tell you what happened here --
一整天都是这个死样子
the same thing that's been happening all damn day!
我周♥旋♥于这些禽兽之间
Me dealing with animals who don't care
他们开着空调还将门窗大敞四开
that we are air-conditioning the outside
坚持要看无趣的家庭主妇互泼红酒
and insist on rotting their brains by watching vapid housewives
来自降智商
spit wine on each other.
而你连个盘子都懒得用
And you. Can't even be bothered to use a plate!
真是个扫兴鬼对吧
Oh, she's a bummer, huh?
有什么好笑的吗
Something funny?
没有
No.
你在家做什么
What are you even doing home?
你每周二不是要帮你老板照看猫吗
Don't you cat-sit for your boss on Tuesday nights?
艾丽克斯也许我带你去散个步或驾车兜风
Alex, maybe you'd feel better if we went for a walk
你会感觉好些开车带你去遛遛
or a ride in the car, huh? Go for a ride in the car!
这家里让人分心的事太多了
You know what? There are just too many distractions here.
我不在乎我病成啥样了我得回学校去
I don't care how sick I am. I have to go back to college.
-不行 -不行
- No! - No!
-不行不行 -你当然得回去
- No, no, no, no, no. - Of course you do!
你猜我是不是那种
Was I the kind of person
会强行把病重的妹妹送回学校
who would send her sick sister back to school
只因为不想让她发现我被解雇了的人
just to keep her from figuring out I got fired?
那你猜我在社区大学时
Did I use her laptop
有没有从靠她作业不挂科
to get through community college?
让我送你回去今天可是周五
Let's get you back there. It's Friday night.
说不定有派对能让你远远听个热闹
Maybe there's a party you can listen to.
-不好意思无意打扰 -你好
- Excuse me. I don't mean to bug you. - Hello.
你才搬过来我就住在街对面
You're just moving in. I'm right across the street.
-听我说 -让我猜猜看
- Listen. - Let me stop you.
你早就预约好今天装监控摄像头
You had the cameras scheduled,
担心我看见了会误会
worried about how it would look,
还特意叫你的黑哥们过来
brought your black friend out,
大声放黑人乐队的歌♥
blasted Commodores.
我也不是第一次搬进白人社区了
It's not my first time moving into a white neighborhood.
-咱之间没误会 -真的吗
- We're good. - Yeah?
该州95%都是白人
我在新罕布♥什♥尔州做过实习住院医生呢
I did my residency in New Hampshire.
好你们有什么需要尽管开口
All right. Listen, you guys need anything, let me know.