生活大爆炸
The Big Bang Theory S04E21
Part 3
Oct. 4, 2019, 2:04 p.m.
能让我跟你倾诉下
that's troubling me?
让我深受困扰的事吗
Of course.
当然
What's rattling around that big bulbous head of yours?
是什么让你这聪慧大脑烦恼呢
Priya has essentially nullified
普丽娅基本上使
my roommate agreement with Leonard,
我和莱纳德的室友协议无效化了
making life in the apartment very uncomfortable for me.
令我的生活无比难受
And you want me to kill her? Done.
你想让我杀了她吗 没问题
No, of course not.
不是的 当然不是
I trained Ricky how to smoke.
我既然能训练里奇吸烟
I can train him to shoot a poison dart.
就能训练它发毒镖
No jury would convict us 'cause people love monkeys.
陪审团不会判我们有罪 因为他们都喜欢猴子
I understand
我能理解
the alcohol has stirred up whatever it is
酒精煽动起了不知道是什么
that makes girls go wild...
反正能让女人变狂野
but I really need to talk to smart Amy now.
但我现在真的得跟聪明艾米谈话
Excuse me.
失陪一下
Have you considered that your intelligence
难道你还没意识到你的非凡智慧
might be the very thing causing your dilemma?
可能就是导致你这一困境的罪魁
No.
没
What do you think Ricky over here would do
你以为当有入侵者侵入
if an interloper encroached on his territory?
里奇的地盘 它会怎么做
Well, when challenged, monkeys generally assert their dominance
面临挑战 猴子们会追赶 攻击
through chasing, assault and a stylized penile display.
还有露阴等办法 来维护自己的统治
That's a little outside my comfort zone.
这个我可有点做不来
You're being too literal.
你太夸张了
My point is, he would not meekly surrender to the rules,
我是说 它不会轻易屈服于规则
and neither should you.
你也不该屈服
Are you suggesting I play dirty?
你是建议我使坏吗
Yes, dirty.
对 使坏
Dirty... dirty... dirty.
使坏 使坏 使坏
（[来吧 对我使坏吧]）
Which brings me to our next order of business.
说到这 我想进行第二阶段行动了
Fascinating.
真"醉"人
I hope you don't take what I'm about to do
接下来我要做的事 我希望不会是
as a comment on what we just did.
你对刚才咱俩刚做的事的评语
Who's to say you shouldn't be dissecting our brains?
是谁说的你不应该被植入人类的脑细胞呢
You really are an ass.
你还真是个混♥蛋♥
Morning, Sheldon.
早安 谢尔顿
Oh, good, you're up.
很好 你们起来了
I've written a new and improved
我写了一份经过改良
roommate agreement that benefits me greatly.
好让我占大便宜的新室友协议
I'd like you to sign it.
我想让你把它签了
Why would I want to do that?
我为什么要签
Excellent question.
问得好
Do you remember what happened to the alien,
你记得由天才演员弗兰克·乔辛客串
played by talented character actor Frank Gorshin,
《星际迷航》里那集"最后的战役"
in the Star Trek episode "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield"?
里面的外星人下场如何吧
Uh, Captain Kirk activated the self-destruct sequence
柯克船长激活自毁程序
and threatened to blow up the Enterprise
威胁要炸毁进取号♥
and kill them both unless he gave in?
除非他投降 否则一起同归于尽
Affirmative.
正确
Computer, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
计算机 我是谢尔顿·库珀博士
Activate self-destruct sequence.
激活自毁程序
Code 1-1-A-2-B.
代号♥11A2B
Self-destruct sequence activated.
自毁程序已激活
What are you gonna do, Sheldon,
你打算怎么做 谢尔顿
blow up the apartment?
炸飞这间公♥寓♥吗
That was my first thought, but all my cool stuff is here.
我一开始是这么想的 但我的宝贝都在这
So what happens when it counts down?
那倒数完了之后会怎么样
Unless Leonard signs the new agreement
除非莱纳德在接下来的41秒里
in the next 41 seconds,
把这份新协议签了
this computer will send an e-mail to your parents in India
否则它就会给你远在印度的父母发一封电邮
saying that you're in a secret relationship
揭发你跟一个比棉花糖霜还白的男人
with the whiter-than-Marshmallow-Fluff
莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德
Leonard Hofstadter.
搞地下情
Oh, my God.
天啊
What's the big deal?
这有什么大不了的
Trust me, it's a big deal.
相信我 这是大事
They're gonna find out about me eventually, right?
他们迟早会知道我的 对吧
Yeah, of course, just not today.
对 当然 但不是今天
20 seconds.
还剩20秒
Are you ashamed of me?
你觉得我拿不出手
Of course not.
当然不是
Then why can't we tell your parents?
那为什么不能告诉你父母
Please, don't push this.
拜托 别逼我
He does that all the time, doesn't he? 15.
他一直都这样 不是吗 还剩15秒
Okay, fine, Sheldon, you win. Turn it off.
好吧 谢尔顿 你赢了 关了它
No, he's bluffing.
不 他在虚张声势呢
- I never bluff. Ten. - It's blackmail!
-我从来不虚张声势 还剩10秒 -你这是敲诈
- Nine. - We give up.
-还剩10秒 -我们投降了
- Eight. - This is ridiculous.
-还剩8秒 -这太荒谬了
It's a laptop with a full charge.
这台电脑早就充满电了
Honestly, what do you see in him?
说实话 你到底看上他哪点
Give him what he wants or we're done.
照他说的做 不然咱们就分手
- Three. - Really?
-还剩3秒 -说真的
- Two. - Okay, I'll sign it!
-最后两秒 -好 我签
Self-destruct sequence aborted.
自毁程序中断
You may have gone to Cambridge,
你也许在剑桥上过学
but I'm an honorary graduate of Starfleet Academy.
但哥可是星舰学院的荣誉毕业生
Good morning, Amy.
早上好 艾米
It most assuredly is not.
这句问候语肯定是反语
Are you experiencing dehydration, headache,
你是不是口渴 头疼
nausea and shame?
恶心 还有羞愧呢
Yes.
是
I also found a Korean man's business card
我还发现我的事业线里
tucked into my cleavage.
藏着一张韩国男人的名片
What happened last night?
昨晚发生什么事了
Ah, memory impairment;
啊哈 记忆障碍
the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle.
干完每瓶伏尔加之后 都会免费得到这个奖赏
Sheldon?
谢尔顿
All right.
好吧
Last night you gave me some excellent advice
昨晚 鉴于我在家的问题
regarding my problem here at home,
你给了我一些很好的建议
you kissed me and then vomited on and off for 40 minutes,
你亲完我 然后断断续续干呕了40分钟
following which you passed out on your bathroom floor.
之后你就昏倒在厕所地板上
I then folded a towel under your head as a pillow,
我折了块毛巾 垫在你头下作为枕头
set your oven clock to the correct time
还给你烤箱调到正确的时间
because it was driving me crazy...
因为它太让我抓狂了
...and I left.
然后我就走了
Okay.
好吧
Don't really know where we go from here.
真不知道接下来咱俩该怎么办
I suggest we treat our relationship
我建议把我们的关系
as if it were a crashed computer
看作是一台当机的电脑
and restore it to the last point we both agree it worked.
还原到上一次我们都觉得可行的点
Terrific. Thank you.
很好 谢谢你
They were out of menthols!
没有薄荷糖卖♥♥了
Get off my back!
快从我背上滚下来
Not easy living with a temperamental little primate.
跟坏脾气的灵长动物一起生活真不容易呀
Come on, Priya, just admit I embarrass you!
说啊 普丽娅 你就直说是我让你觉得羞愧吧
You're preaching to the choir, sister.
姐们儿 我懂的
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