女子监狱

Orange Is the New Black S06E11

Part 1 Feb. 7, 2020, 12:47 p.m.

《如何赢得朋友和影响他人》
有人要袭击卡萝尔赶紧离开
所以你就是这么办事的嘛
So this is what you do?
你答应过我自助大虾管饱但你却整晚整晚的消失
You promise endless shrimp, then disappear all night?
留我自己在这独自忍♥受你祖母的连环屁
Leave me sitting around, getting sick off your fucking nana's endless farts?
你连个电♥话♥都不给我打
Like you ain't got a phone or nothing? Huh?
对赶快通通风屁臭的好像她里面已经烂了一样
Yeah, air that shit out. Stink like she already dead in the inside.
她还有胆子说我闻起来像个妓♥女♥
Then she got the balls to say I smell like a prostitute.
里奇
Ricky.
是时候呼吸点新鲜空气了你待在室内时间太长了
It's time for fresh air, okay. You've been cooped up too long.
我就在里面
I'll be right inside.
你什么也不想说吗
You're not gonna say nothing?
我坐在这里也不知道你是死了还是在搞妹子
I sat here not knowing whether you was dead or fucking somebody.
我就知道这家公♥司♥贪污受贿
I knew that company was corrupt.
你知不知道要是我被抓住了会有什么后果吗
Do you have any idea what could happen to me if I got caught with this?
我不知道反正这又不是我的
I don't know. That shit ain't mine!
我早就该知道的一朝罪犯终生罪犯
I should have known. Once a felon, always a felon.
至少有人能挣钱
At least someone's making fucking money here.
因为你连个毛都挣不到我的孩子还在寄养家庭里呢
'Cause you ain't making shit. I got kids in the system!
这巴掌大的地方根本不够他们住他们都大了
How am I supposed to fit them in this tiny-ass place? They're fucking big!
到现在你还骂我你百般利用我把我当做一个运毒的骡子
Are you seriously still attacking me? After you used me as a goddamn drug mule?
你惹我生气了老娘很生气
You're provoking me. I'm provoked.
我真♥他♥妈♥蠢爱上一个不敢挣大钱的废柴狱警
Stupid-ass me, fallin' for a loser CO who's afraid to make real money.
我不是废柴
I am not a loser.
不是吗你现在快成了朝九晚五的业余警♥察♥了
Oh, no? You a nine-to-five rent-a-cop.
和你的废柴同事一起玩好像他们是你的朋友一样
Hanging out with your loser coworkers like they're your friends,
整天吃着傻♥逼♥甜甜圈玩着弱智游戏
eating donuts and playing stupid fucking games all day.
坐在监狱里拿死工资你打算一辈子都这样吗
You get paid to sit in a prison. That's what you want to do with your life?
直到你60岁还是又穷又胖
Until you're 60 and fat and still broke as shit?
我的工作有很好的退休福利人们也敬重我
My job has a great retirement package, okay? And people respect me.
里奇我又拉了我需要一个新的尿不湿再拿一块湿巾
Ricky, I plotched again. I need a new Depends. And bring the wipes.
你听到她的话了去给她换尿不湿吧你个老奶宝
You heard her. Go change her shitty diaper, nana's boy.
里奇
Ricky!
尽情享受的废柴人生
Enjoy the rest of your loser life.
里奇
Ricky!
里奇
Ricky!
好极了动起来
Yes! Great hustle, guys.
大家都动起来不能靠墙休息
Great hustle, everybody. Against the wall for suicides.
这让我们的生活变得更加阴暗了
Well, this took a dark turn.
这是速跑练习
It's a sprinting exercise.
你跑到三分线再回来跑到半场再回来跑满全场再回来
You run to the three-point line and back, half court, back, full court, back.
- 不行不行 - 我们走
- No, no. - Let's go.
去他妈的跑步百分之九十的踢球时间都是瞎站着
Fuck all this running. Kickball is 90% standing around.
要是想打败D区的人我们就要加紧练习了
Wanna beat D-Block, we gotta get in better shape.
越早完事我们就能越早进行争球了
The sooner we finish this, the sooner we can start scrimmaging.
或者我们现在就可以开始比赛
Or we can start scrimmaging right now.
来吧三分线好的三分线
Let's go. Three-point line. Yes, three-point line.
真是不敢相信查普曼本应该是我的秘密武器的
Unbelievable. Chapman was supposed to be my secret weapon,
但是她现在把大家注意力
but now all she's doing is distracting people
从毒瘾和失业危机上分散开
from their drug addictions and unemployment.
- 我还以这是一件好事呢 - 嗯
- I thought that was a good thing. - Mm.
太好了好的不错很好
Yes! All right, nice work, you guys. Nice job.
好的加油
Okay! Way to go.
她看上去不太对劲
She doesn't look so good.
你♥他♥妈♥的笑什么呢
The fuck you laughin' at?
没见过别人吐吗我受伤了
You never seen anybody hurl before? I'm injured.
你没事吧
You all right?
我们可以把她和一把手电筒和一把铁锹一起活埋了
We could bury her alive with a flashlight and shovel,
然后她就像挖出一条生路但是当她看到
so she tries to dig her way out until she reaches the bulletproof mirror
地表上的防弹镜子时
just below the surface
她就束手无策了不得不见证自己缓慢的无法避免的死亡
where she is forced to bear witness to her slow, inevitable death.
不行弗里达像个老鼠一样就喜欢到处打地洞我可不想给她找乐子
Nah. Frieda's a rat. She likes burrowing. I don't want her to enjoy any part of it.
上帝啊男的体毛怎么了
Jesus! Whatever happened to body hair?
如果我哪天想剃腿毛了那就代表我要和女人约会了
If I wanted shaved legs, I'd date a woman.
我更喜欢滑溜溜的女人
I prefer smooth.
迪米特里有着像野雪人一样宽阔的臂膀
Dmitri has a back like a Yeti.
我们可以先把她的脚喂大蟒蛇
We could feed her feet first to an anaconda.
她确实讨厌蛇
She does hate snakes.
但是我在想一些更实际有效的方法
Although I'm craving something a little more practical.
实际有效有什么意思别出心裁才是硬道
Practical isn't the game. The game is fantasy murder.
要是我给一个佛罗里达的杀手一大笔钱
What if we paid someone in Florida a large sum of money
让这个人用刀割开她的喉咙呢
to slit her throat with a shiv?
这个方法的创造力也就值4分吧
I give it four for creativity.
创造力确实只值四分但是我给它的实际性十分
Four for creativity, sure, but ten for it's actually happening.
就是板上钉钉
As in... done deal.
扯淡
Bullshit.
讲真
Bulltrue.
“讲真”什么意思这是你们美国人说的俚语吗
What does it mean, this "bulltrue"? Is it an American thing?
这是我说的俚语
It's a me thing.
这就代表着那个婊♥子♥弗里达这周末就死了
And it means that rat bitch, Frieda, will be dead by the end of the week.
别再玩什么游戏了
Enough games.
我倒是希望他舔我下面
Now, there's a face worth sitting on.
真酷
Yeah.
然后她就吐了
And then she barfed.
她看上去就像这样然后我说“叮叮叮
Looked kinda like this. And I said, "Ding, ding, ding.
她一定就是卡罗尔派来杀你的杀手
She must be the killer Carol sent to kill you,
因为她吐了并且还有紧张
because she is barfy because she has nerves."
就像那次我不得不保守格蕾丝惊喜派对的秘密一样
Like that time I had to keep the secret of Grace's surprise party.
那时候我每周每天都要吐在我的双肩包里
So then, I threw up in my backpack every day for a week.
然后还要吐到蜡烛上
And then on the candles.
巴迪逊太珍贵了
Badison's too valuable.
卡罗尔喜欢用那种没有重复利用价值的人来给她干脏活
Carol likes to use expendables to do her dirty work.
我当时一定是侦查能力太过明显所以没有人站出来
I definitely had my detective cap on, so no one else stood out.
但是说实话在我看来他们都像是罪犯
Although, to be honest, they all seemed like criminals to me.
也可能是这里的某个人
Could still be someone in here.
某个狡猾的人
Someone crafty.
- 还记得我们发现的冰棍棒吗 - 我找到的你偷的
- Remember those Popsicle sticks we found? - I found, you stole.
重点在于一个真正的探长会怀疑所有人
The point is, a real detective suspects everyone,
特别是那些你看上去最没有嫌疑的人
especially the ones you'd least suspect.
肯能那个人就在你眼皮子底下
It might be somebody right under our noses.
嘿谁想吃布丁吗最近我有点乳糖不耐受
Hey, y'all. Anybody want my pudding? Been having this lactose issue lately.
- 我吃吧 - 不行有毒
- I'll take it. - No, poison!
你弄干净了
You're cleaning that up.
这是真空包装的夏洛克
It was vacuum sealed, Sherlock.
是的对不起
Right. Sorry.
是啊布丁沾到我的鞋上了
Yeah, there's... Looks like some got on my shoe.
帮我弄掉
If you just wanna dab that up.
你想帮忙吗那你去收集点情报吧
You wanna be helpful? Go gather some intel.
像电视上那样问一些诱导性问题
Ask leading questions, like they do on TV.
我要去打个盹了
I'm gonna take a nap.
你难道不想让我在你睡觉的时候保护你吗
Don't you want me to bodyguard you while you sleep?
你还是在实地考察中最能发挥长处
Oh. You do your best work in the field.
在凶手得逞之前抓住她吧
Now, get to it before the killer gets away.
嘿这里有杀人犯吗
Hey, there's a killer?
这是一个复杂的事情
It's a whole thing.
是个女孩
It's a girl.
你看到那个“女”字了吗 “女”代表女孩女孩
You see that "G" shape? That is a "G" for "girl."
再说了从我们认识开始你越来越难看了
Plus, you've gotten uglier since we met.
你的小姑娘想偷走你的美貌
Your little girl is trying to steal your beauty.
你说错了这坨屎不对我已经知道是个男孩了
No, you're wrong. The poop's wrong. I already know it's a boy.
你为何如此确定
What makes you so sure?
在我没做饭的时候你煮了鸡心吗
Did you boil a chicken heart while I wasn't looking?
这件事上我同意克洛伊小姐
I gotta go with Miss Cleo on this one.
你的左胸很明显比右胸大
Your left boob, noticeably larger than your right boob.
所以我打赌是女孩
So my money's on a tiny vagina.
克洛伊小姐是加勒比人你个种族主义者
Miss Cleo is Caribbean. You are racist.
好吧我的错
Okay, my bad.
对了我听到电♥话♥亭旁边有老鼠吱吱叫
By the way, I heard some rats squeaking over by the phone booth.
可能是这些孩子
Might be the kids trying
想找到回到你身边的路呢
to Incredible Journey their way back home to you.
可能你想在半路上见见他们
You might wanna go meet 'em halfway.