女子监狱

Orange Is the New Black S06E10

Part 3 Feb. 7, 2020, 12:47 p.m.

她就会走过来坐在我身上
she'd come walking over and she'd sit on me.
她蹦蹦跳跳的坐下来大叫着玉米饼玉米饼
She'd bounce and sit and scream, "Tortilla! Tortilla!"
因为她我都不喜欢吃墨西哥卷饼
And I don't like tacos 'cause of her.
不过我确实喜欢德尔塔克的脆炸玉米饼很好吃超级好吃
Except I do like those Del Taco crunchy tacos. Those are dope.
不过我一眼就能看穿老年人倚老卖♥♥老的把戏就是刚才那样
But I know senior abuse when I see it. And I just saw it.
不不不是那样
No, no, no. It is not like that.
另外我还答应了梅布尔我回头会跟她玩拉密牌
Besides, I promised Mabel that I would play Rummikub with her later.
看我是这个社区的重要成员
See... I'm an important member of this community.
对我以前做过社区服务
Yeah, I once did community service,
结果她们在我的黄色饮料里尿尿
and it ended with them pissing in my yellow drink.
我是乔乔卡普托
Joe. Joe Caputo here.
嗨你好卡普托先生
Hi. Hello, Mr. Caputo.
啊是我嗨你是进击猎头公♥司♥的玛丽吗
Ah, yes, hi. Is this Mary from Get Ahead Head Hunters?
我要跟你说说塔莎·杰斐逊的事
This is about Tasha Jefferson.
你是谁
Who is this?
不是她干的
She didn't do it.
去查查突击部队
Look into the stormtroopers.
你♥他♥妈♥这是什么意思
The hell does that even mean?
哎呀老兄去查查那些进到监狱里来的混♥蛋♥
Come on, man. Look into the assholes that came into the prison
他们带着枪一副终结者的态度
with the guns and the Terminator attitudes.
他们说的不是真话
They ain't telling the truth.
你怎么会
How did...
诺基巧克力屑怎么样
How's the Chocolate Chip Nookie?
老实说不太好吃
I'm not gonna lie. It's a little chalky.
你知道不吃东西会导致你的大脑分解自己的神经元吗
You know not eating causes your brain to break down its own neurons?
嘿卢沙克老兄
Hey, Luschek, my man!
你们还在喝奶昔呢
You guys still doing the shakes?
不吃东西会让人变蠢你知道的吧
You know not eating makes you stupid, right?
这话我刚刚说过
I literally just said that.
是的外卖♥♥上都是这样写的
Yeah, it's all in the delivery.
你的专员根本就没有什么收获
Well, your commish isn't actually delivering much of anything.
他八天没有更新假想囚犯比赛的数据了
He hasn't updated the Fantasy Inmate app in eight days.
别这样这地方是个鬼城根本就没有什么发生
Relax. This place is a ghost town. There's nothing happening.
两天前我发现一对蕾丝边有一分是一分
I clocked a lesbian encounter two days ago. Every point counts.
哦谁啊
Oh. Who was it?
老爹和迪亚兹老爹归我管
It was Daddy and Diaz. Daddy's mine.
反正我已经厌烦了对着她俩打飞机了
I'm bored just spanking it out to those two anyways.
老天斯蒂芬诺维要我跟你说多少次
Christ, Stefanovic, how many times I gotta tell you
请尊重我女朋友的女儿
to respect my girlfriend's daughter?
抱歉老大我老是忘记就是很奇怪你知道吗
Sorry, boss. I keep forgetting. It's just weird, you know?
她杀了汉弗现在你却骑到她妈身上去了
You know she killed Humps. And now you're humping her mother.
不奇怪她妈超级火♥辣♥的
It's not weird. Her mother is crazy smokin' hot.
诸位我在说正事儿
You guys, this is important.
最近风平浪静很难得分
Points are extremely hard to come by in the current peaceful climate.
一旦得了分就必须统计
So when they are achieved, they need to be tallied.
所以我冒昧把每个人的当前状态更新了
Therefore, I've taken the liberty of updating everyone's current status.
卢沙克你只需要把这些数字输入你的系统里
Luschek, all you have to do is input these numbers into your system.
你是唯一一个有分数的
You're the only one who has any points.
我们必须恢复混合放风时间真的
We need to reinstate mixed yard time, for serious.
相信我我很乐意去做但是菲格发号♥施令我得听从
Trust me, I would love to, but Fig gives the orders and I follow.
其实有个空子可以钻
Well, actually, I kinda have a loophole for that.
我本来想在喝酒的时候告诉你们的可是
I was gonna tell you guys at happy hour, but--
什么你们还去喝酒了
What? You guys go to happy hour?
要是我们修好旧球场
What if we fix the old field
自己举办一场区域间的踢球游戏锦标赛呢
and have ourselves an inter-block kickball championship?
我感觉不太妙
Oh, this could be a disaster.
是啊我还找了六个姑娘来玩
I know. Yeah. And I got six girls playing, too.
打打那里拉拉头发就赚钱了
A punch here, a hair-pull there. Ka-ching!
这个项目不错进行吧哥们
I love the initiative. Run with it, buddy.
我其实希望能有别人替我做
Well, actually, I was kinda hoping somebody else could do it.
我还忙着修养什么的
I'm sort of swamped with other Rec stuff.
你不如就别去练跳舞了
Why don't you cancel that stupid dance class, you know?
留点空余时间
Buy yourself a little extra time.
没事
Nah. That's fine.
姑娘们很喜欢跳舞课所以
The ladies love that class, so...
我可以来
I can do it.
看到了吗这才是大好人
You all see that? That is a true humanitarian.
嘿
Hey!
你们去哪里喝酒啊
Where do you guys go for happy hour?
嘿
Hey!
拜迪逊行了行了
Okay. Badison. All right. Okay.
我在想不如我们玩一局开心开心
Hey. So I'm thinking, why don't we play a round? Have some fun.
我们不该开心的 D区的人要来找我们麻烦了盖普曼
This ain't supposed to be fun. D-Block is coming for us, Gapman.
所以你还是回去挨打吧
So you better get back in there and take a hit.
女士们该收拾东西了
Ladies, time to pack up.
迟到了 D区的人已经再等了
You're late. D-Block's already waiting.
我们是虔诚的队伍
We the team that is devout!
赶走恶魔们
Exercise those demons out!
你拿不走的东西上帝不会给
God won't pitch what you can't take!
让那帮婊♥子♥们痛苦流血吧 1 2
Make those bitches bleed and ache! One, two.
1 2
One, two.
我们需要一些强化表现的类固醇
We're gonna need some performance-enhancing steroids.
- 你有吗 - 没有你呢
- You have any? - No. You?
有还问你吗
What do you think?
我们完蛋了
I think we're fucked.
试试我是按照果汁朗姆酒调配的
Try it. I was going for a pi?a colada feel.
闻起来椰子味尝起来一股肥皂味
It smells like coconut, but it tastes like soap.
里面必须放点香波才能有香味
You gotta leave a smidge of shampoo in there for aroma.
而且混香波才能不被警卫发现
Also for the guards, in case they check.
- 你可真机灵 - 要在这里孤独终老德沃
- Well, aren't you full of tricks. - When you're gonna die in here,
必须学会给自己找点乐子
you learn how to keep yourself entertained.
无期徒刑是吧
Life sentence, huh?
一开始只有25年
Well, it was 25 years at first.
但是又加了30年因为你朋友弗里达
But you can thank your friend, Frieda, for the extra 30.
那个叽叽喳喳的小人
That squealing little rat.
不不她脸又被打了
No, no. She got bopped in the beezer again.
太惨了
It would just be mean.
要想狠应该先示好
If you really wanna be mean, you should pretend to be nice first.
芭比女王就是这么干的给你演示一下
That's what the Barbs of the world do. Here, watch this.
嘿傻傻听说了吗
Hey, Dweebly Dums, you heard the news?
躲避球锦标赛
About the kickball championship?
我可能不该告诉你但是
Maybe I shouldn't be telling you this, but...
我听到警卫在说
I overheard the guards talking.
你好像因为表现好要获得提前释放了
Looks like you're getting out early for good behavior.
天啊我要去告诉爸爸
Oh, my God! I have to call Pop-Pop!
太谢谢你了
Thank you so much!
虽然骗人很残忍♥ 但是
I'm conflicted about wanton cruelty, but...
却让人异常兴奋
it's strangely reinvigorating.
就说吧操纵别人特别一颗赛艇
Told you. Sport mindfucking is exciting.
不我是说我感觉这就是我
No, I mean... I feel like me.
过去几年里我一需要维护自己
The last few years, whenever I needed to defend myself,
或者亲自行使正义
or to take justice into my own hands,
大家都来管我
everybody got on my case.
他们让我人好点提高自己
Told me to be nicer, to be better.
长大吧红妈长大
Evolve, Red, evolve.
长大个屁能活着就不错了
Fuck evolve. What about survive?
没错像我们这样的人就必须说出自己的真心话
That's right. People like us, we gotta say what we mean.
说实话我不喜欢你能直说很不容易
I don't like you, I'll tell you. And that is worth something.
不像芭比总是个乖乖女总是受害者
Not like Barb, who's always the good girl, the victim.
真会装
That's all bullcrap.
好人都是装的
Nice people, they're full of shit.
就像是行走的MM豆
Like human M&M's.
里面是屎不是巧克力
But their insides are shit, not chocolate.
我有事让卡罗尔做吧
I have plans. Make Carol do it!
妈妈你已经说了我今晚可以出门了
Mom, you already told me I could go out tonight.
拜托你跟谁出去啊象棋俱乐部吗
Oh, please. Who are you gonna go out with, the chess club?
不是只有你才忙好吗
You're not the only person who has a life here!
- 大家都闭嘴 - 就是只有我啊
- Everybody, shut it. - I am.
你们俩今晚都留下看着黛比
You're both taking care of Debbie tonight.
但是你说了今晚我们一起去放生蝌蚪
But you said we would release my tadpoles tonight.