摩登家庭
Modern Family S05E23
Part 3
Nov. 29, 2019, 12:32 p.m.
They seem pretty happy.
杰
Hey, Jay.
霍华德 拉里
Hey, Howard, Larry.
这是我的...
This is my, uh...
这是我朋友莫尔 他从密苏里州过来玩
This is my friend Merle, and he's visiting from Missouri.
是那个"眼见为信”的州啊[拿给我看]
Ooh, the "Show me" state.
[密苏里州有个别名叫"Show-me State"]
别在这里说啊
Don't say that in here!
你怎么到这里来了 莫尔
So, what brings you to town, Merle?
我的... 我们的...
Well, uh, my -- our --
杰和我的孩子今天要结婚了
Jay's and my...kids are getting married today.
恭喜
Congratulations.
真是太棒了
Isn't that nice?
新娘和新郎的父亲
Father of the bride, father of the groom
在结婚当天一起蒸桑拿
taking a steam together the day of the wedding.
是这样
Yeah, something like that.
我儿子结婚的那天 轻松愉快
The day my son got married -- piece of cake.
但当我送走我小女儿时
But the day I lost my little girl --
真是让我伤心死了
Ohh, that wrecked me.
今天你们谁要经历这种痛苦啊
So, which one of you has to suffer through that today?
知道吗 这里太热了
You know what? It's too hot in here.
-是啊 -我们走吧
- Yeah. - Let's go.
你真开明
Mm-hmm. Real evolved.
你的天鹅会为你感到羞耻的
Your swans would be ashamed.
帕梅隆搬走后 我才第一次发现
Well, I guess I first noticed it after Pameron moved out,
莫尔和我开始
and Merle and I just started
出口伤人
sniping at each other.
像今天早上那场唇枪舌剑一样吗
Yeah, like that bloodbath this morning?
我再次道歉
Ohh. Again, I am so sorry.
但你没法和莫尔心平气和谈事情
But Merle is not the type you can talk to about things.
我们结婚期间 他嘴里一直
I mean, the man's had a toothpick in his mouth
叼着一根牙签 我什么也不能说
our whole marriage, and I can't say a word.
你不能压抑感情
No, you can't sit on your feelings.
这样会爆发的
You will explode!
我每天都会小爆发十次
I have, like, 10 little explosions every day,
这样就不会大爆发
so I don't have the big one.
我家族里的女人
The women in my family --
有时候会对着丈夫开枪
sometimes, they shoot their husbands.
我们愉快地相处了48年
Well, we've had 48...good years.
我想我们没时间了
I...guess we're just gonna run out the clock.
不会
No!
你还是...
You're still...
你还有...
You have...
这态度不好
That is bad attitude!
你必须告诉莫尔你烦恼的事
You have to tell Merle what is bothering you.
他一点也不想听
Oh, he doesn't want to hear all that.
他完全听不进去意见
He gets all closed off and macho.
你在挠我的脚趾
You're ticklin' my piggies.
你会习惯的
You get used to that.
真遗憾米奇尔的母亲不能来参加婚礼
It's a shame Mitchell's mother couldn't make it to the wedding.
对谁来说遗憾
For who?
你们关系还那么紧张吗
Mm, things still rough between the two of you?
莫尔 我们关系一直不好
Merle, things have always been rough.
那女人永远都在抱怨
That woman never stopped complaining.
鼓足勇气离开迪迪是我做过的
Finding the strength to leave Dede is the hardest thing I ever did,
最艰难却也最正确的决定
but the best decision I ever made.
能娶到歌♥洛莉亚是你的福气
Well, you sure made a score with that Gloria.
绝对的
Big-time.
我打赌
I bet you landed her
你拿下她之前没给她看过你的臭脚丫
before she got a gander at those hooves of yours.
顺便说一句 不用谢
You're welcome, by the way.
你准备在犹他做点什么
So, what are you gonna do in Utah?
我和我女朋友
Well, me and my girlfriend
很长时间没见面了
haven't seen each other in a while,
所以我们会像两只兔宝宝一样
So we're gonna be like a couple of bunny rabbits...
到哪都粘在一起
just hopping all over town.
这是她吗
Is this her?
对 我的贝丝
Yep, that's my Beth.
她很漂亮
Huh. She's pretty.
没错 她是我的女神 内外兼修
Yeah. She's the most beautiful creature, inside and out.
爱上她是我的幸运
I'm just the luckiest guy ever to get to love her.
好吧 她也许是真实存在的
Okay, she may be real,
但你太假了
but no way you are.
谁会说那种话
Who talks like that?
我不喜欢你这样说话
You know, I hate when you say things like that
因为你风趣 又漂亮
because you are funny, and you are pretty,
你也很聪明 有你自己的方式
and you are smart and in an original way,
为什么不能有人觉得爱上你是一种幸运呢
so why shouldn't a guy feel lucky to love you?
闭嘴 别调戏姐
Shut up. Be normal.
-我手♥机♥振了 能帮我看看吗 -好
- Hey, my phone just buzzed. Can you read it? - Yeah.
我不想边开车边看手♥机♥
I don't want to put our lives at risk.
是航♥空♥公♥司♥发来的
It's, uh, it's from the airline.
你的航♥班♥延误三个小时
Your flight's delayed three hours.
-三个小时 -是啊
- Three hours?! - Yeah.
怎么会这样
Ohh! Jinkies!
要不你找个咖啡厅把我放下
I guess we can just drop me off at a coffee shop,
我到时自己打车过去
and I can take a cab from there.
好
Okay.
事实上 我有点困
Actually, I really need to wake up.
不介意的话 我们可以一起喝杯咖啡
Maybe I'll grab a coffee with you, if you don't mind.
当然
Please.
和别人聊聊天
The more I talk to people,
我才比较不容易想象自己的飞机
the less I imagine plummeting to my death
在尖叫和哭喊声中坠毁
in a fiery spiral of screaming and crying.
这不像刚用了卡♥通♥人物口头禅的人说的话
Pretty dark for someone who just said "Jinkies."
看起来我们
Well, I guess we have
对"紧急情况"的定义是不一样的
different definitions of "Emergency," then.
我必须要说
You know, I'm just gonna say it --
警♥察♥局接线员的态度不怎么好
911 dispatchers have a little bit of attitude.
因为你要求他们派特警过来
Well, you requested a S.W.A.T. Team.
还有谁肚子饿吗
Is anybody else hungry?
米奇尔 米奇尔
Mitchell! Mitchell!
加急包裹投放
看我找到什么了
Look at this.
你觉得你能钻进去吗
Do you think you could fit in there?
我不会那么做的
I'm not doing that.
那婚礼上我要穿什么
Then what am I gonna wear to our wedding --
难道穿我的黑色葬礼服吗
My black funeral suit?
你想给婚礼定那种基调吗
Is that the tone you want to set?
你只穿去过一个葬礼
You wore it to one funeral.
而且你和毕·亚瑟[演员]又不认识
And you didn't even know Bea Arthur.
-我觉得我认识 -我知道
- I felt like I did. - I know.
是胡娇 他会知道该怎么做
It's Pepper. He'll know what to do.
喂 胡娇 出大事了
Yes. Pepper. Disaster.
不是什么大问题 只是山火罢了
It's not a disaster. It's just a wildfire.
而且我很确定不会烧到你们的婚礼
And it's most certainly not going to burn down your wedding.
-什么 -什么
- What?! - What?
会场旁边有山火
There's a wildfire near the venue.
不是吧
No!
是着火了 不过你放心
Yes, but it's fine.
罗纳多会群发短♥信♥通知宾客
Ronaldo is going to text-blast the guest list,
婚礼从5点提前到1点开始
tell them the wedding is being moved from 5:00 to 1:00.
上帝啊
Oh, my god!
别紧张
Don't panic.
有人能把那个该死的瀑布关上吗
Would somebody please turn off that wretched waterfall?!
立即关掉瀑布
Kill the waterfall immediately!
28%的山火已经被扑灭了
The fire is already 28% contained.
听起来不太多
That doesn't sound like a lot.
打扮好自己就行了
Just get dressed and look pretty.
我一个小时后派车去接你们
I'm going to send the car for you in one hour.
你疯了吗
Have you lost your mind?!
滚 你真让我恶心
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