摩登家庭
Modern Family S05E04
Part 1
Nov. 29, 2019, 12:31 p.m.
记得以前我们没孩子时
Remember before when we don't have kids,
周六可以整天躺在床上
we can just lie in bed on Saturday.
我们就是那么怀上他们的
That's how we got them.
我为什么非要如此性感
Why did I have to be so sexy?
几个月前 卢克加入了足球队
A few months ago, Luke joined the club soccer team.
刚开始我们高兴得很
And at first, we were thrilled.
后来我们意识到
But then we realized
那会占据我们整个周末
it takes over your whole weekend.
而且不像周末性♥爱♥马拉松那么过瘾
And not in the cool marathon way.
卢克常常坐冷板凳
Luke sits on the bench a lot,
那就意味着我们要在烈日下坐上8个小时
which means we sit in the hot sun for like eight hours
就为了看他踢5分钟球
just to see him play five minutes.
但5分钟能发生很多 说说上周的事
But what a five minutes. Tell'em about last week.
卢克用脸阻挡了一个进球
Oh, yeah. Luke stopped a goal with his face.
-他不记得实在太可惜了 -是啊
- Too bad he doesn't remember that. - Yeah.
要是我们今天不去看卢克比赛了呢
What if we sent Luke to the game without us today?
-这可不行 -为什么不行
- We can't do that. - Why not?
我们不会因为错过一次比赛
Missing one tournament doesn't
就成了糟糕的父母
make us bad parents.
我妈从没参加过我的活动
My mom never went to any of my stuff.
我不也好好的吗
I'm fine.
她为什么不参加你的活动
Why didn't she go to any of your stuff?
因为她太争强好胜了
Because she was an incredibly competitive woman
不愿意看到我在某一方面表现出色
who didn't like to see me do very well at anything,
但我认为现在谁是赢家一目了然
but I think it's pretty clear who won.
我现在还要工作
I'm working now, you know,
我非常需要利用周末时间
and I really need my weekends back
去做些杂事
to -- to catch up on errands.
我也说不清 但我感觉那样不对
I don't know. It just feels wrong.
要是你能把三周来没时间拆封的
Would it feel wrong to use that robot gutter cleaner
清沟机拿出来用还会觉得不对吗
that's been sitting in the box for the last three weeks?
不会 那挺好的 好极了
No, that would feel right -- so right.
我告诉过你我称之为"一扫光"吗
Did I tell you I call it "The gutter done"?
你说过 我喜欢"一扫光"
You did! I love "Gutter done."
你太有幽默感了 太好玩了
It's your sense of humor. It's so fun.
好了 快别拍马屁了 你的目的达到了
Okay, stop drilling. You struck oil.
但前提是卢克也同意
But only if Luke's 100% cool with it.
当然了 我来搞定
Yeah, of course. I'm on it.
如果我们不去
You know, if we're not going,
就可以在床上多"玩"一会儿
we could stay in bed a little longer.
-不用了 谢谢 -好吧
- No, thank you. - Okay.
我不想15年后再重复上面的对话
Don't want to have this conversation again in 15 years.
你拿着那些样品干嘛
What are you doing with those swatches?
她随时都可能过来
She's gonna be here any minute.
我早就让你把这些婚礼用品收起来了
I told you to put all this wedding stuff away.
这两个真的是最好的颜色选择吗
Are these really our top-two choices for color palette?
为什么都是白色的
Why are they both white?
我朋友凯莎也这么问为什么你和大爸都是白人
That's what my friend Keisha asks about you and daddy.
与其把这些东西都藏起来
Instead of hiding all this stuff,
你何不直接告诉小帕我们要结婚了呢
why don't you just tell Pam we're getting married?
我会告诉她的 得等她做好心理准备
I will, when she's ready.
得在一个宽阔的场地上小心翼翼地告诉她
Carefully and preferably in a large, open field.
她是你姐姐 又不是绿巨人
She's your sister, not the Hulk.
我姐小帕情感异常脆弱
My big sister, Pam, is emotionally fragile
至今依然单身 所以她一旦发现
and she's still single, so when she finds out
我在她之前结婚...
I'm getting married before she is --
小心点
Look out.
她会比黄昏时的猫头鹰还要凶残
She can be meaner than a barn owl at sunset.
因为猫头鹰那时候起床吗
Because that's when they wake up?
没错 对猫头鹰来说那是早晨
Yep. That's morning time for a barn owl.
-她来了 -快点 藏起来
- It's her! - Quick! Hide!
没关系的 莉莉 过来
It's okay, Lily. Come on.
把她的蝴蝶结发箍拿下来
Oh, take that bow out of her hair.
我不想在我姐面前炫耀
I don't want to rub our daughter's adorableness
我们美丽可爱的女儿
in my barren sister's face.
-她来了 -你好啊 小帕
- There she is! - Hey, Pam!
该死的航♥班♥把我的行李箱弄丢了
Well, the damn airline lost my trunk.
-害我要做新衣服了 -真糟糕
- Now I'm gonna have to make new clothes. - Oh, no.
是啊
Yep.
我得找点东西捏捏
I need to squeeze something.
-过来 莉莉 -我就免了吧
- Get over here, Lily. - I'm good.
她有点害羞
Yeah, well, she's shy.
小帕 我们有个重大消息
So, Pam, we've got some big news.
说起重大消息
Speaking of big news --
你记得我以前照顾过的那个丑姑娘吗
You remember that little ugly girl i used to babysit,
名叫布兰妮·霍尔纳
Britney Horner?
-记得 -她去年夏天结婚了
- Yeah. - Well, she got married last summer,
现在怀上双胞胎了
and now she's pregnant with twins.
瞧瞧 丑女婚姻孩子双丰收 我一无所有
So, if you're keeping track, that's ugly -- 2, me -- nothing.
你们要说什么消息
What's your news?
就是...
Well...
我们要买♥♥一台新烘干机
We're getting a new dryer.
真为你们高兴
Well, I'm very happy for y'all.
谢谢
Thank you.
我怎么就从没买♥♥过新烘干机
How come I never get a new dryer?
妈 从你对外公有记忆起
Mom, in all the time you've known grandpa,
他曾经说过"流溢"这个词吗
has he ever used the word "Fluxions"?
我没听他说过这个"F"开头的词
That is not an f-word I have heard him use.
他在"和朋友比拼写"游戏中打败了我
He's beating me in "Words with friends."
这怎么可能
How is that even possible?
你不是应该跟你的朋友一起玩
Shouldn't you be playing "Words with friends"
"和朋友比拼写"吗
with friends?
外公就是我的朋友啊
Grandpa is my friend.
当然了 一点都不可悲 什么
Of course he is. That's not sad. What?
早上好 伙计 戴着枕头干什么
Morning, buddy. What's with the pillow?
为了足球啊
It's for soccer.
看比赛看得我脖子都酸了
My neck gets pretty tired watching all those games.
是哦
Right.
对啊 我猜也是
Yeah, I'll bet.
听着 你♥爸♥爸和我刚在讨论
Say, listen, your dad and I were just talking
今天你可能不想我们陪你去比赛了
about you maybe wanting to go to the game without us today.
不过这完全由你决定
But it's totally up to you.
你要怎样都行 因为我们非常爱你
Whatever you want because we love you very much.
对 你可以跟你的队友一起去
Right. You can either ride with some of your teammates,
像洛杉矶国王队一样
like the L.A. Kings,
你也可以跟我们一起去
or you can ride with us,
就像歌♥洛莉亚和你外公带着乔去玩
like how Gloria and grandpa take Joe to playdates.
专业运动员 还是小屁孩
Professional athlete, little poopy baby --
-你决定 -我跟麦克斯一起去
- Your call. - I'll get a ride with Max.
-很好 -你确定真的没问题吗
- Great! - Are you sure it's okay?
对啊 没事啊
Yeah, it's fine.
我能借一下你的眼罩吗
Hey, can I borrow your sleep mask?
-当然 -太好了
- You bet. - Awesome.
好耶 我太爱这孩子了
Yes! I love that kid.
如果我们只有这一个孩子
Can you imagine how easy it would be
生活该是多么轻松啊
if it was just him?
我是说...
I mean...
我知道你的意思
I know what you mean.
你觉得那样算叠好了吗
You call that folded?
军队级细致严谨的品格哪里去了
Where's that military precision?
我们海军不用叠连体衣
We didn't fold many onesies in the navy.
我回来了
I'm back!
医生怎么说
What did the doctor say?
他说我的眼睛没问题
He said my eyes are perfect.
他说这话时眼睛看着哪里呢
Where was he looking when he said it?
我确信歌♥洛莉亚需要配副眼镜
Pretty sure Gloria needs glasses.
过去几个月 她一直在挣扎
The last couple of months, she's been struggling.
我要这个 看起来很不错
I'll take this one. It looks very good.
那是他们的地址 老花眼
That's their address, Magoo.
他有测试你的视力吗
Did he even give you an eye test?
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