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Modern Family S05E21

Part 2 Nov. 29, 2019, 12:32 p.m.

I had no idea that re-potting your orchids
也算是在土地里劳作呢
counted as "Working the soil."
兰花是种在土里的
Okay, they're in soil, are--
知道吗我不想讨论这事了
You know what? I don't want to talk about this.
我没必要听这些
I don't need to listen to this.
我要出去透透气
I'm gonna go out and get some air.
我知道那种感觉
I know the feeling.
别再提了真的
Retire it. Seriously.
你看乔是不是有点脸色苍白
Does Joe look a little pale to you?
这个国家的人在我看来都脸色苍白
This whole country looks pale to me.
今晚就要拍照了我觉得他脸上应该多点颜色
I think he needs a little color for tonight's photograph.
你觉得使用美黑喷雾的最小年龄是多大
What do you think is the minimum age for a spray tanning?
既然乔出生了
Now that Joe is here
他的头也终于是正常大小了
and that his head is finally normal-shaped,
我决定照一张新的全家福
I decided to take a new family portrait.
好啊
Hola!
购物怎么样
How did it go at the mall?
买♥♥了一件衬衫惹怒了我儿子
Bought a shirt, angered my son --
又是一次成功的外出
another successful outing.
我一直想这样做
Ooh. I've been wanting to do this.
快回答天使头上那个环是什么
Quick -- what's the ring around an angel's head?
-什么 -好啊[光环]
- What? - Halo!
你说了天使那个梗
You did the angel one!
一般情况下我会很高兴
Ordinarily, I'd be delighted,
但这次聊天不会有趣了
but this isn't gonna be one of our fun chats.
你是说像你看见小型飞船时
You mean like that time you called me
给我打电♥话♥的那次吗
when you saw that blimp?
它飞得好低上面的人都冲我挥手了呢
It was so low, they waved back.
我做得很好
I'd done a pretty good job
清除了那张唱片的一切痕迹
eliminating all traces of that record,
但是还有一个问题
but there was still one loose end.
今天早些时候
You know, earlier today,
我们在街上碰见了
when we ran into each other on the street?
我没看见你你也没看见我
I didn't see you. You didn't see me.
你这是说
Okay, so you're saying
不管我们中的一个在干什么
whatever either one of us might have been doing
这将永远...
will remain forever --
我没看见你你也没看见我
I didn't see you. You didn't see me.
说清... 喂
Just to be c-- hello?
杰真酷他明白
Jay's so cool. He gets it.
我不知道他在说些什么
I didn't know what he was talking about,
但我得让他闭嘴
but I needed him to keep his trap shut.
最近我可能在忙活
You see, lately, I may have been dabbling
像我这样强壮的爷们儿
in something that... strong, virile men like me
不该忙活的事
aren't supposed to be dabbling in.
这不符合我的形象
And it wouldn't exactly fit my image
如果人们发现我打算
if people found out I was considering entering...
带一只可爱的小狗参加狗展
a certain adorable dog in a dog show.
爱心宠物狗
歌♥洛莉亚觉得我是出去轮换车胎了
Gloria thought I was out getting my tires rotated.
其实我是在给斯黛拉买♥♥装饰领结
Actually, I was buying Stella a decorative show collar --
以防万一嘛
you know, just in case.
我想着如果她看起来很漂亮
I figure if she looks beautiful,
就会更自信
she'll feel beautiful.
猜猜我们在图书馆碰上了谁
Guess who we ran into at the library.
我怎么知道我一直都在这里
How would I know? I was here the whole time.
桑杰·帕特尔他拿到了克罗恩氏病
Sanjay Patel. He's got Crohn's disease.
-不是吧 -就是啊太走运了
- No! - I know. So lucky.
他绝对会获得科学奖学金的
He's totally going to win that science scholarship.
他该用这笔钱来治秃头
He should use it to find a cure for baldness,
因为他都16岁了还用梳发盖秃头
'cause that kid is 16 with a comb-over.
就这样
That's it!
我得选个新主题
I'm just gonna pick a new topic.
我要一种学校里所有人
I want a disease that everyone in the school
都会讨论的疾病
is going to talk about.
好吧
All right!
你站在这里干什么
Why are you standing there?
因为我好想你我好爱你
'Cause I missed you. I love you so much.
我也爱你
Oh, wow. Love you, too.
修理工修得怎么样了
How'd it go with the repair guy?
修理工来了但我错过了他
The repair guy came, but I missed him.
"为什么你在干什么"
"Why? What were you doing?"
"听唱片"
"Listening to a record."
"什么唱片" "不重要"
"What record?" "It's not important."
"菲尔"
"Phil!"
"我第一次滚床单时的背景音乐
"The soundtrack to my first sexual experience
我时不时就会想起那个经历
that I think about from time to time.
亲爱的你要去哪别带走孩子们"
Honey, where are you going?! Don't take the kids!"
他没来
He didn't show up.
什么太过分了
What?! That is so annoying!
就是啊放下你的杂物
I know. Put away your groceries.
我打电♥话♥给他重新安排
I'll call him and reschedule.
不行你太善良了
No, no, no, no, no. You are too nice.
我去打电♥话♥
I am calling.
不弄清♥真♥♥相♥我绝不善罢甘休
I am not resting till I get to the bottom of this.
没什么大不了的
It's no big deal.
这又不是我第一次被男人放鸽子了
It's not the first time I've been stood up by some guy.
听听你自己在说什么菲尔
Oh, listen to your words, Phil.
是啊是啊
Yep. Yep.
她说我是势利眼米奇尔
She called me a snob, Mitchell.
真抱歉我没有热心地把莉莉
I'm -- oh, I'm sorry if I don't rush
塞进克莱尔扔给我们的
to throw Lily in every bargain-bin rag
廉价衣服里
Claire tosses our way.
你这样说还是很势利眼啊
You're not really shedding the "Snob" tag with that.
为了今晚的拍照
Look, why don't we just put Lily
不如我们让莉莉穿上艾丽克斯的衬衫吧
in one of Alex's shirts for the picture tonight?
她会看穿的
She'll see right through that.
不你想的是海莉的衬衫
No, you're thinking of Haley's shirts.
不我是说我们这样做看起来
No, I mean it'll look ke we're doing it
就像是因为她提到了这事
just because she brought it up.
我知道所以我在找一张莉莉穿着
Well, I know. That's why I'm looking for a photo
别人的旧衣服的照片给卡莱尔看
of Lily in a hand-me-down to show Claire,
但我好像找不到
but I-I can't seem to find one.
顺便说一句这些照片里基本都没我
By the way, I'm barely in any of these.
米奇尔你的建议是我想的那样吗
Mitchell, are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?
是啊有时我觉得我们家不关注...
Yes! Sometimes I feel like this family looks right past --
你在建议我们筹划拍一组照片
You're suggesting that we stage a photograph.
给莉莉穿上旧衣服
Put Lily in some hand-me-downs.
让照片看起来像是以前照的
Make it look like it's from the past --
比如说圣诞节来证明克莱尔错了
Christmas, say -- just to prove Claire wrong.
简单易行
Simplicity itself.
那根本不是我的意思...
That's not remotely what I'm saying --
米奇尔不要怀疑自己了
Mitchell, don't second-guess yourself.
这简单易行
It's simplicity itself.
是啊再说一次我想和主管谈谈
Yes, once again, I would like to speak to a supervisor.
如果我丈夫说没人来那就是没人来
Listen, if my husband said nobody came, nobody came.
爸爸该你走了
Dad, it's your move.
不我想我现在应该保持冷静
No, I think I should just play it cool for now.
对不起
I'm so sorry.
搞定了
Score!
我找到了一个既稀有又有趣的疾病
I got a disease that's rare and fun
嗜睡症
-- narcolepsy.
公♥司♥发誓说司机十点来过这里
The company swears that the driver was here at 10:00.
他们在叫司机接我电♥话♥
They're putting him through to me right now.
我要驳倒他的说法
I'm gonna chip away at his story.
看看你怎么脱身吧
Let's see how you get out of this.
我在思考啊
I'm thinking.
这是一种精神病
It's a neurological condition
病人会在极端压力下睡着
where people under extreme stress actually fall asleep.
就像大脑的一种逃脱方式
It's like a way for the brain to escape.
我打赌他做了什么不该做的事情
I bet he was doing something he shouldn't have.