摩登家庭

Modern Family S05E12

Part 2 Nov. 29, 2019, 12:31 p.m.

- She's pretty. - Super-pretty.
我要了
Dibs.
什么不你不能这样
What?! N-no. You can't call dibs.
她是个有情感的大活人
She's a human being with feelings,
这不是在抢前排座位
not the front seat.
接着奇迹发生了
Then a miracle happened.
双胞胎一样的美丽动人
Twins -- each as pretty as the other.
这很有趣因为卢克和我一般
It's funny -- Luke and I don't usually
不会看上同一类型的女孩
go for the same kind of girl.
没错我喜欢的类型是"容易上手型"
Yeah. I like to describe my type as "Gettable".
你在干什么塔克
What are you doing, Tucker?
你好啊布朗校长
Oh, hey, Principal Brown.
你知道其他的老师总是给家长
Do you know how other teachers drone on and on
讲那些枯燥无趣的老生常谈
to parents with their boring lectures?
我觉得我可以另辟蹊径
Well, I thought I would go another way.
听上去可不大妙
Oh. Well, I don't like the sound of that at all.
你一定会喜欢的
I think you will.
我打算来一堂躲避球课活跃一下气氛
I'm gonna spice things up with a spirited game of dodgeball.
不要千万不要一百个不要
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
在你说"不要"之前
Okay, before you say "No"...
我已经说了"不要"了
I already said "No."
先看看我的全套构思
...let me show you my whole bit.
你们好伙计们
Howdy, folks.
我名字叫塔克
My name's Tucker.
是"多比"镇警官其实是"躲避"球
I'm the Sheriff of Dodge...ball.
家长们会哄堂大笑
"Laugh, laugh, laugh."
然后
And then --
不没有然后不行
No, no "then." No.
你看到那些家长的身材了吗
Have you seen the shape some of these folks are in?
我们可不想某个家长当场倒毙
We don't need a parent dropping dead in here.
这里是海豚湾体育馆
Look, this is the "Dolphin Den."
可没打算改名叫
I am not renaming it
曼德尔鲍姆纪念馆
the Harvey K. Mandelbaum memorial gym.
但我本来想把大家分成哈特菲尔德队
But I was gonna divide everybody up into
[电影《血仇》中的死对头]
和麦考伊队打比赛呢
the Hatfield and McCoys.
不许打躲避球
Just no dodgeball.
你好英格拉姆老师
Hello, Mr. Ingram.
我是歌♥洛莉亚·德尔加多·迪尔加多
I am Gloria Delgado-Pritchett,
曼尼的妈妈
Manny's mother.
没错当然了
Yes, of course.
我想好好感谢您
I just wanted to thank you so much.
我儿子对您评价极高
He thinks the world of you.
作为移♥民♥的小孩
You know, as a child of an immigrant,
您让他对世界有别具一格的新鲜看法
he can look at the world with such a fresh perspective.
提到"新鲜"
And talking about fresh,
我给你带了些墨西哥酥皮饺子
I brought you some empanadas.
真有一套啊
Subtle.
菲尔克莱尔呢
Hey, Phil. Where's Claire?
她去艾丽克斯的教室了
Oh, she's going to Alex's classes.
我负责卢克这一边
I'm doing Luke's.
你居然来了我很惊讶
I'm surprised to see you here.
你的球队不是今天比赛吗
Isn't your team playing today?
就是啊但歌♥洛莉亚非要我来
Yeah. Gloria made me come.
我设好了录像机
I think I'm recording the game,
但谁知道会发生什么意外情况
but, you know, you can never know.
上次我录了六小时的Bravo电视台的节目
The last time, I got six hours of Bravo.
万事皆有可能
And who knows?
保不准曼尼就是第一个拉丁裔总统呢
Maybe Manny's going to be the first Latino President.
你好英格拉姆老师
Hello, Mr. Ingram.
我是唐娜·邓肯医生
Dr. Donna Duncan,
韦斯利的妈妈
Wesley's mom.
一点小谢礼不成敬意
Just brought you a little thank-you
因为您是我儿子最喜欢的老师
for being his absolute favorite teacher ever.
-这些蛋糕够白的 -谢谢夸奖
- Those cupcakes are so white. - Thank you.
我是唐娜·邓肯医生
Dr. Donna Duncan.
我是歌♥洛莉亚
I'm Gloria.
我们见过几次
We've met several times.
当然记得了
Oh, of course.
马里奥的妈妈
Mario's mom.
是曼尼
Manny.
他适应得怎么样比以前好些吗
And how is he fitting in now? Better?
总之
Anyway...
我带了好东西
Here she is.
你带了个酒壶来学校开放日吗
You brought a flask to an open house?
想来点吗苏格兰威士忌
You want some? It's Scotch.
不拿远点
No. Put it away.
别这么娘娘腔
Don't be such a goody-goody.
尝一口这酒比你年纪还大
Taste it. It's older than you are.
-我才不想喝威士忌 -那就闻一下
- I don't want any scotch. - Well, just smell it.
-好 -邓菲先生你拿的是酒壶吗
- Fine. - Mr. Dunphy, is that a flask?
不是是实际上
No. It is. It I--
我只是是他的
Uh, I was -- it's his.
才不是我的
No, it's not.
提醒一下严禁带酒来学校
For the record, no alcohol is allowed on school premises.
你太不象话了菲尔
For god's sake, Phil,
这才下午两点而已
it's 2:00 in the afternoon.
艾丽克斯跟我说说你为什么来这里
So, Alex, tell me why you're here.
我昨晚有点情绪失控
I had a little meltdown last night,
我害怕以后还会这样
and I'm afraid it'll happen again.
但下次没准会发生在大学入学考试过程中
But, this time, in the middle of the S.A.T or something.
那你为什么失控了呢
Why do you think you melted down?
我压力山大啊
I'm stressed.
我已经高三了
It's my junior year.
我觉得可能是
Part of me feels like
我的大脑边缘系统有点儿失灵
the limbic system in my brain's a bit off.
有这么一种病对吧我做过调研
That's a thing, right? I did some research.
你知道就算你自我诊断了
You know I charge the same
我也照旧收钱对吧
even if you diagnose yourself?
我只想提高下效率
I'm just trying to move this along.
我还有很多事要做
I have a lot to do.
治疗是讲究过程的
Well, uh, this is a process.
需要花些时间
You know, it takes some time.
你在想什么
What -- what are you thinking?
-没什么 -没事直说好了
- Nothing. - No, no. Go ahead. Tell me.
我觉得你可能帮不上我
That maybe you're not up for this.
无意冒犯
I mean, no offense.
只不过你看起来比网站上老很多
You're just a lot older than you look on your website.
你上学那个年代有大学入学考试
Did you even have S.A.T.s when you were in high school
或是亚裔学生吗
or Asian kids?
那倒没有
Oh, no. No, no, no.
但也有其他事情让我很担心
But there were other things I worried about --
比如西班牙宗教法庭
Spanish inquisition,
出海寻找世界尽头
sailing off the edge of the world,
还要学习火到底是什么东西
learning how to understand fire.
抱歉
Sorry.
-不如我们换一种方式 -什么
- You mind if we try something? - What?
就当帮我的忙了
Just do me a favor.
深吸一口气
Take a deep breath.
很好
Great.
此时此刻你在想什么
Now... what's on your mind?
我才想起来在离家之前
Well... I just remembered that I forgot
我忘了给电脑充上电了
to charge my computer before I left
而且我该在周一前买♥♥新的索引卡
and that I have to get new index cards before Monday.
希望还有蓝色的
Hopefully they don't run out of the blue ones,
因为不知为何蓝色的能帮助我学习
because, for some reason, those help me study better.
也许是因为它们读起来容易些
Maybe it's because they're easier to read
也许是因为我的药方不管用了
or maybe my prescription's getting worse.
我或许该去找我的眼科医生检查一下
I should probably make an appointment with the eye doctor.
还有我这个暑假是不是该找个工作
Also, should I get a job this summer
实习经验会不会有利于我的申请
or would an internship look better on my application?