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Modern Family S05E07

Part 1 Nov. 29, 2019, 12:31 p.m.

相信爸妈看到我们送上的
I’m sure how mom and dad are surprised
结婚纪念日早餐一定会十分惊喜
by the anniversary breakfast we’re bringing to them.
我不想走进去看到他们两个光溜溜的
I hate to walk in if they are naked.
是啊即便几年过去每当夜不能寐
Yes, that kind of image could haunt someone
那画面总是在脑海中挥之不去
if she tries to sleep even years later.
放松点啦你们安全了
Oh, relax. I think you are safe.
是吗
Or are they?
今天是我们结婚20周年纪念日
It’s our 20th anniversary,
所以在今天的学校园游会上
so today at the school fair,
一个名叫节奏老爹的乐队将以
a band called the Dad Beats
一首动感的浪漫民谣给克莱尔一个惊喜
is gonna surprise Claire with a power love ballad.
而乐队主唱你最好坐下来
And the lead singer -- you might want to sit down --
就是独一无二的
is the one and only --
还是站起来吧就是这个人
get up on your feet! -- this guy!
她貌美如天仙*
*She's a pretty sight
智慧比佛祖*
*Wise as a buddha
但是哥们小心她咬你*
*But, brother, watch that bite
因为她是克莱尔小怪兽*
*’cause she's a Claire-acuda
要不还是别唱原创歌♥曲了
Or maybe an existing song.
谢谢
Thank you.
想不想在脸上画上
Do you want to get your face painted
美丽的蝴蝶
like a pretty butterfly?
不想我没那心情
No. I'm just not in the mood.
莉莉你呢
Lily, what about you?
知道吗
You know what?
我可以让他们画
Maybe I will have them paint
"史上最差教练"几个字在我额头上
"Worst coach ever" on my forehead.
小卡最近在教新生打橄榄球
Cam's coaching freshman football,
但他的球队总是输
and his team's losing,
这让他有点紧张焦虑
and it's making him, uh, a little tense.
快跑快跑
Run, run!
像保护你的孩子一样护着球
Protect it like it's your baby!
你把你的孩子弄丢了
You dropped your baby!
你丢了你的孩子
You dropped your baby!
他们抱着你的孩子跑了
They're running away with your baby!
快去抢你的孩子
Go get your baby!
这裁判比选罗素·高尔
That's the worst call since
出演《悲惨世界》的人还差劲
they cast Russell Crowe in "Les Mis,"
就在那啊
right there!
你看到大家是怎么瞪我的吗
You see the way everyone's glaring at me?
-没有 -好像我是个窝囊教练
- No. - Like a big loser coach.
都是你自己瞎想罢了
All in your head.
我就是新生橄榄球队的海丝特·白兰
I'm the Hester Prynne of freshman football.
我不如在衬衫上绣一个
I may as well have a
猩红色的"L"好了[Loser: 废物]
scarlet "L" sewn on my shirt.
那大家会以为你是拉芙妮
Well, then, everyone would think you're Laverne.
[ABC台情景喜剧《拉芙妮与雪莉》中的人物]
塔克教练
Coach Tucker.
昨晚输得很惨啊
That was a tough loss last night.
是啊确实很惨
Yeah, yeah. Sure was.
我知道你很失望肯定的
I feel your frustration. Sure do.
米奇尔这是特雷弗的爸爸约翰
Uh, Mitchell, this is John. He's Trevor's dad.
-抱歉 -明星跑卫
- Sorry. - Star running back.
恐怕打不了多久了
Well, maybe not for long.
我正在考虑让他退队
I'm seriously thinking about pulling him from the team.
什么为什么
What? Why?
因为特雷弗总是被拦截抢球
'cause trevor's getting killed out there.
你没安排人为他阻截对手
You got no one to block for him.
我明白你的意思了你说得没错
I-I hear what you're saying, and you're not wrong,
但给我一点时间
but give me a little time.
给你一星期
You got one week.
在园游会上这样太不合适了
Well, that is not appropriate fair behavior at all.
你知道什么能让你开心点吗
You know what might make you feel better?
召集球队让队员心中充满对神的敬畏
Gathering my team and putting the fear of God in them.
我本来要说的是西班牙油条
I was gonna say a churro.
我可以两个一起来
I can do both!
她真是一团糟
She's a mess.
丫头
Girl...
快车手转弯时悠着点
Hey, hey, lead foot, easy on the turns!
这蛋糕我做了好几个小时呢
I worked hours on this cake.
你确定要去吗
You're sure you want to do this?
我要拿下蛋糕比赛
I'm going to win the cake contest,
这样再也没什么能阻止我了
and then there'll be no stopping me.
阻止你什么被揍一顿吗
From what? A beating?
冠军绶带会赢得尊重的杰
First-place ribbons earn respect, Jay.
但如果跟你竞争的是一群
Not if your competition's
老女人和怪胎就没这效果了
a bunch of old ladies and weirdos.
你就不能友善一点吗
Could you just be nice?
你吃他练习做的那些蛋糕时
You didn't seem to care
好像一点也不在乎啊
when you were eating all his practice cake.
总算有车位了
Finally.
你打算怎么办啊伙计
What are you gonna do, pal?!
我也正想问你呢
About to ask you the same thing.
你没看到我的指示灯吗
Did you not see my blinker?
-没 -那你就是瞎了灯还在闪呢
- Nope. - Then you're blind, 'cause it's on.
看你这样我估计一整路都闪着呢吧
Looking at you, I'm guessing it was on the whole way here.
我车上有卫星广播我能跟你耗一整天
I got all day and satellite radio.
我才不管把车停在这里是不是你的遗愿
I don't care if parking here is on your bucket list.
我有两本有声书一条太空毯
I've got two books on tape, a space blanket,
手套箱里还有一整根能量棒
and a protein bar in the glove box.
有必要的话我就睡在这里
I will sleep here if I have to.
我们坚决不动
We're not moving.
随便你但我俩要走了
Ay, but we are.
走吧曼尼
Let's go, Manny.
-你是谁 -老天啊
- Who are you? - Oh, my god!
你把我吓尿了
You scared the hell out of me!
注意用语哦家里有个小宝宝呢
Okay, language. There's a baby in the house.
那宝宝是我舅舅
Uh, that baby happens to be my uncle.
那你是哪个
Which one are you?
你得告诉普先生你打碎了他的一瓶啤酒
You need to tell Mr. P you broke one of his beers.
我是艾丽克斯你是谁
I'm Alex. Who are you?
我是他们的男保姆[曼尼]
I’m their Manny.
得了吧
Nice try.
我认识他家的曼尼你和他一点也不像
I know their Manny, and you look nothing like him.
你是海莉
Oh, you're Haley.
我是他家的男保姆安迪
I'm their male nanny, Andy.
你真的得挪个位了
You really need to move.
好吧我去泳池边了
Okay, well, I'll be out by the pool.
什么不行
What? Nope!
不行
No, no, no.
没允许的话就不行
Not without permission, you're not.
-我要给普先生和太太打电♥话♥ -等等
- I'm gonna call Mr. and Mrs. P. - Oh, wait!
说真的曼迪你...
Um...seriously, Mandy, do you, uh --
你真的非得那样做吗
do you really have to do that?
我知道你在耍什么把戏
I see what you're doing.
别费心了
Don't bother,
我在犹他有个
because I have a girlfriend
交往了八年的女友[八岁的女友]
of eight years back in Utah.
她真幼齿但我想那边的作风
That's pretty young, but I guess they do things
也许不同吧
differently over there.
她和我一般年纪
She's my age,
我们订婚了就要订婚了
and we're engaged... to be engaged.
这叫提前订婚
It's -- it's a pre-engagement.
她是海岸警卫队的
She's in the coast guard.
-在犹他州吗 -是啊
- In Utah? - Yeah.
那里有西半球最大的咸水湖
It's the largest salt lake in the western hemisphere.
很不错她在保护我们的湖哎
Oh, good. She's protecting our lake.
我去泳池边啦
I'll be out by the pool.
你老板在召唤你
Your boss is calling you.
这位美女在这里啊
Hey! There she is.
我不会给你钱的