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Modern Family S05E22

Part 4 Nov. 29, 2019, 12:32 p.m.

I'm an adult, and I have my comic book.
抱歉打扰你打高尔夫但是...
I hate to spoil your golf game, but...
我怀孕了
I'm pregnant!
我们尽快谈谈吧
Let's talk as soon as you can.
他们真厉害
Oh, they are good.
简直不敢相信他们能做得这么天衣无缝
I can't believe they pulled such an elaborate stunt.
我不知道是该生气还是该赞赏
I don't know whether to be angry or impressed.
简直太邪恶了
It's so diabolical.
不知道他们从哪里弄到的
I don't know where they get that...
等等慢着
Wait. Wait. Wait.
我们可以好好捉弄一下他们
We could really have some fun with this.
说来好笑
You know, it's funny,
我从来不知道你喜欢漫画书
I never saw you as a comic-book guy.
我不喜欢我也不知道
Oh, no, I wasn't, but I don't know.
《蜘蛛侠》
Spider-man --
让我产生了共鸣
He -- he spoke to me.
我觉得大概是因为这种
I -- I think it's because it's about this nerdy kid
一个小书呆子有着
who has this special secret side of himself
不可告人的另外一面的感觉
that he can't share with anybody, and --
我一直也都是这么觉得的
And that's how I always felt.
蜘蛛侠让我觉得与众不同没什么不好
Spider-man made me feel like it was okay to be different.
而且他让我在遇到困难时
And...it made me feel tough enough to --
变得足够坚强
to get through the rough times.
米奇尔这真让人感动
Oh, Mitchell, that's so sweet.
我都不知道是这样的
I didn't know that.
你确定要把它卖♥♥了吗
Are you sure you want to sell it?
是的确定
Yes, yes.
因为就像蜘蛛侠一样我勇敢坚强
Because, like Spider-man, I am brave and strong.
-蜘蛛网蜘蛛网 -米奇尔
- Oh! Spider web! Spider web! - Mitchell.
弄到我嘴里了
It's in my mouth.
-米奇尔 -怎么了天哪
- Oh, Mitchell! - What?! Oh!
不不不
No! No! Oh, no!
得了吧菲尔
Give me a break, Phil!
你到底想我怎么样
What do you want from me?!
-小声点 -我什么都没说啊
- Shh! - I didn't say anything.
你听说我怀孕的时候
A little compassion when you thought I was pregnant
能不能多点热情
would have been nice!
对不起那是我的下意识反应
I'm sorry. It was a knee-jerk reaction.
说你是个混♥蛋♥[jerk]倒是真的
You got that half right!
反正你也没怀孕谁在乎呢
Well, you're not pregnant, anyway, so who cares?!
我说了什么你这么大火气
And what did I say that was so terrible?!
用你的原话说就是
Well, I believe your exact words were,
太好了我们又有一个孩子可以糟蹋了
"Great, another kid that we could screw up.”
那对不起了但我们都知道我说得没错
Oh, I'm sorry. But we both know that's true.
等等你是说我们根本不应该要孩子吗
Wait. Are you saying we never should have them in the first place.
就好像你没这么说过一样
Like you never said that!
这太糟了
This is awful.
你一开始就知道会这样吗
This is what you thought gonna happen?
我想不到那么远的
I didn't think that far ahead.
从没想过你知道的
I never do. You know that.
你应该阻止我的
You should've stopped me!
你说这会很有趣的
You said this was going to be fun!
现在没有人觉得有趣
Nobody is having fun!
说话注意点菲尔
Careful?! Please, Phil!
如果你没有把我的肚子搞大
If you hadn't gotten me pregnant,
我根本不可能嫁给你
I never would have married you!
我肯定嫁给鲍比·纳什了
I would have married Bobby Nash!
-真的吗 -是啊
- You would?! - Oh, yeah!
现在我就该在阿斯本一百亩的大庄园里了
And right now, I would be on my 100-acre ranch in Aspen
和我两米多高做对冲基金的老公一起
with my strapping 6'4" hedge-fund husband!
你真的希望你嫁的是鲍比吗
You really wish you'd married Bobby?
每天都这么希望
Oh, every single day!
等等菲尔
No, Phil.
爸爸你还好吗
Dad, are you okay?
还行
Yep.
这家里每个人都这么看我
That's what I am to everyone around here.
-妈妈 -只是"还行"而已
- Mom... - Just "Okay."
-菲尔 -妈妈
- Phil! - Hey, mom?
-等会儿 -菲尔
- Not now. - Phil!
你们听见了吗我们完全骗到他们了
You guys hear that? We totally got them!
快点我们需要个吹风机
Quick! We need a blow dryer!
是有什么基佬紧急情况吗
Is this some sort of gay emergency?
不爸爸不是什么基佬紧急情况
No, dad, it's not a gay emergency!
是我的漫画书
It's my comic book.
我们要... 天呐
We need to -- ohh, god!
全毁了
It's ruined.
米奇尔没事的
Mitchell, it's okay.
反正也许并不值那么多钱
It probably wasn't worth that much anyway.
这书值五千块你的皮带扣分文不值
It was worth $5,000! Your belt buckle is garbage.
那是从加油站买♥♥的
It came from a gas station!
你祖父从来没见过怀亚特·厄普
Your grandfather never met Wyatt Earp!
这个秘密看来没有保守太久
I didn't hold on to that for quite as long as I thought.
对不起
Hey, I'm sorry.
这事我没想说的
I -- I didn't mean to blurt it out like that.
不没关系
No, it's -- it's okay.
我也怀疑过时间点不太对
I -- I kinda suspected the dates didn't line up.
现在我开始怀疑那到底是不是
Now I'm starting to think that wasn't
阿梅莉亚·埃尔哈特的指南针了
Amelia Earhart's compass.
太可惜了但我觉得杰肯定能帮到你们
I'm so sorry, but I am sure that Jay can help you two out.
不不不
No, no, no, no, no.
我们想自己解决这个问题
We want to do this on our own.
我能问个问题吗
Can I ask you a question?
你们为什么要弄一个那么大的婚礼
Why are you having such a big thing anyway?
因为我们只结一次婚啊
Well, because we're only getting married once.
我只是想说为什么你们要如此大张旗鼓
I'm just saying, why do you need to make into a spectacle?
大张旗鼓
A s-- a spectacle?
这也许正是老天想要暗示你们
This could be the universe's way of telling you
把婚礼搞得低调一点
to bring it down a notch.
邀请家人还有你们的朋友胡娇
Invite your family, your friend Pepper,
还有那个叫什么的爱穿荷叶边的那个
and, what's his name, the -- the -- the flouncy one?
L·大卫
Uh, L'david.
我没有爱穿荷叶边的叫L·大卫的朋友
I don't have a flouncy friend named L'david, dad.
你是说L·迈克或是J·马库斯吗
Do -- do you mean L'michael or J'marcus?
我不太确定你说的是谁
I'm not sure who you're referring to.
管他呢
Whatever.
我就是说低调一点
I'm just saying keep it small.
为何要为了几乎不认识的人花那么多钱呢
Why pay all that money for people you barely know?
你是说你的那些朋友吗
Oh, oh, you mean like any of your friends?
拜托你不会想邀请我的朋友们的
Oh, please, you don't want any of my friends there.
真的吗因为我
Really? Because I've --
我管你要名单都要了几个月了
I've been asking for a list for months now.
到底是谁不想让他们来呢
So, so who doesn't want them there --
我还是你
me or you?
你为什么生气
Why are you getting upset?
因为如果这是克莱尔的婚礼
Because, dad, if -- if this was Claire's wedding,
你就会投入得多了
you would be all over it.
你甚至会要求在你的俱乐部办
You'd be wanting to have it at your club.
你会邀请你所有的朋友
You'd be inviting all your friends.
拜托
Oh, please!
克莱尔结婚时我也一样不那么兴奋
I wasn't that thrilled when Claire got married, either.
"也一样" 老天爷啊别说了
"Either"? For god's sake, just stop talking.
所有人都退一步
Everybody back off.
我不觉得我说得过分
I don't think I'm out of line
我的朋友不会想在盛大的
suggesting my friends don't want to see
同志婚礼上看父子共舞
a father-son dance at a big gay wedding.
根本没什么父子舞老爸
There is no father-son dance, dad.
我不知道在同志婚礼上是什么情况
I don't know what things go on there.
我需要牵着你走红毯吗
Do I walk you down the aisle?
会有人扔花束吗
Does someone throw a bouquet?
我是说我不知道
I mean, I'm just saying, I don't know
如果我俱乐部那些朋友来了