摩登家庭
Modern Family S05E14
Part 1
Nov. 29, 2019, 12:32 p.m.
好了 伙计们
Okay, gang.
今晚 录影带告别仪式继续
Tonight, the Farewell to VHS Festival continues.
大寒潮[《山水又相逢》]以来 这里变得很冷
It's been mighty cold in here since "The Big Chill."
能够温暖我们内心的就是
What say we warm our hearts by...
圣艾尔摩之火[电影《七个毕业生》]
"St. Elmo's Fire"?
没错
Yes!
一边喝清爽酒 一边看80年代帅哥
Couple of wine coolers and some '80s Rob Lowe--
我应该会喜欢
I can get into that.
我还是希望今晚有我自己的计划
I'm still holding out hope I'll have plans tonight.
太好了 两个都赞同 海莉呢
Great. Two for two. Haley?
听起来很有意思 但我没空参加
Oh, so fun, but I'm gonna have to say no.
我有个摄影课的事情
I have a photography-class thing.
什么事情
What kind of a thing?
就是展览嘛
Oh, you know, just an exhibit,
展示我们的照片什么的
like, to show our photos.
需要我们参加吗
Is it something that we should go to?
克莱尔 我们有计划了
Claire, we just made plans.
老妈 这是大学的课程
Mom, this is a college class.
我不是三年级小学生了
I'm not in the third grade.
你们不是还有午休时间么
Don't you have nap time there?
没有 我只有空课时间
No. I have free periods,
那时候我才偶尔午休一下
during which I sometimes nap.
是我想多了 还是她刚刚故意说得很含糊
Is it me, or was she just being purposefully vague?
艾丽克斯 你去看看她的东西
Alex, I want you to go through her stuff
查出她今晚到底是干嘛
and find out about this thing tonight.
等等
Wait, wait.
我觉得我们这样窥探不太好
I-I don't feel good about us snooping.
我知道 所以我才让艾丽克斯去做
I know. That's why I told Alex to do it.
我觉得海莉知道的比看上去的多
I think Haley knows more than she's letting on.
你这样想真是伤透了我的心
It breaks my heart how badly you want to believe that.
我们过会儿见
We'll see you guys later.
你们要去哪里
Where are you going?
骑自行车去赞德家
Riding our bikes to Xander's.
你们去那里干什么
What are you doing there?
不知道啊 就一起玩玩
I don't know. Hanging out.
听起来很有意思 戴上头盔哦
Sounds fun. Wear your helmets.
会的
We will.
我可不想插着呼吸机写我的第一本小说
I'm not writing my first novel by blowing through a tube.
我不喜欢他们去那孩子家
I don't like them going over to that kid's house.
为什么
Why not?
赞德会带坏他们的
Mm, Xander's a bad influence.
他哥哥简直更糟糕
His older brother is even worse.
满身肌肉的大块头 很爱抽大♥麻♥
Huge stoner always walking around
总穿着他的军装瞎晃悠
in his army jacket with his muscles,
还老喜欢拨弄头发 露出蓝眼睛
flipping his hair out of his blue eyes.
他有一次还说我漂亮
He told me I was looking good one time.
拜托省省吧
I mean, come on.
好吧 我们会留意的
Yeah, we'll keep our eye on that.
但现在问题是赞德 我不信任他
But for now...Xander. I don't trust him.
克莱尔 你真是难以捉摸
Claire, you're a tough one to figure out.
你不信任坏男孩 却嫁给了我
You don't trust bad boys, and yet you married one.
我的帅小子饿坏了
My handsome boy's so hungry.
好了 我很快回来
All right. Be back in a few.
如果小短打电♥话♥来 告诉他我死了
If Shorty calls, tell him I died,
但要保证让他信服
but make sure you really sell it.
我们在玩一个很有趣的游戏
It's a funny thing we're doing.
那怎么会好玩
How is that funny?
我就知道你会这样说
I knew you'd say that.
总之别接电♥话♥ 再见 伙计
Just don't answer the phone. Bye, buddy.
这是怎么回事
What's all that about?
你生我气了还是怎么了
You mad at me or something?
我不知道
I don't know.
你有做什么让我生气的事吗
Did you do something to make me mad?
那样的话 我就是在生气
Because then I am.
如果没有 我就没生气
But if you didn't, then I am not.
我什么也没干啊
I didn't do anything.
那我就没生气
Then I am not mad.
我生气了
I am mad.
昨晚 杰做了个有关别的女人的春梦
Last night, Jay had a sexy dream about some woman.
宝贝
Baby.
宝贝
Oh, baby.
宝贝
Oh, baby!
我知道那不是我
And I know it wasn't about me,
因为他知道我讨厌男人叫我宝贝
Because he knows that I hate when men call me baby.
没错 人们允许有自己的私密想法
And, yes, people are allowed their private thoughts,
我也不应该这么生气
and I shouldn't be so angry,
但我是拉丁人 所以姐想生气就生气
But I am latin, so I get to feel whatever I want.
你想跟我说我♥干♥了什么吗
You want to tell me what I did?
你想跟我说你干了什么吗
Do you want to tell me what you did?
我不知道我♥干♥了什么啊
I don't know what I did.
那我就不知道你干了什么
Then I don't know what you did.
我受够了 我要走了
I'm bored. I'm going.
别忘了你的手♥机♥
Don't forget your phone.
我手臂上有片淤青
I got a bruise on my arm.
不知道从哪儿来的
I don't know where it came from.
可怜的宝贝
Oh, poor baby.
于是我意识到
And then I realized
我不想为查理工作了
I don't want to work for Charlie anymore.
我真正想要的是
What I really want --
抱歉 我听不下去了
I'm sorry. I can't listen to this.
我要跟你说件事
I need to tell you something,
但你得保密
but you have to keep it a secret.
当然 我是律师
Of course. I'm a lawyer.
我还听过谋杀供述呢
I've heard murder confessions.
-真的吗 -好吧 在
- Really? - Well, in --
在法学院的模拟法庭上
in mock trials at law school.
不过我还是守口如瓶
But still, I never told anyone.
说真的 只跟你说
Seriously, this is only for you.
连小卡都不能说 你能保证吗
You can't even tell Cam. Promise?
好
Uh, okay.
你还好吗
Is everything all right?
看桌子下面
Look under the table.
脚踝以上 膝盖以下 你看到什么了
Above the ankle, below the knee, what do you see?
我对此有点紧张 但是
I'm a little nervous about this, but --
天啊 你没有吧
Oh, oh, my gosh! You didn't?
我做了 小腿肌肉植入
I did. Calf implants.
你还真是没少往里面植入啊
Wow, and you really went for it, didn't you?
不不不 它们还肿着呢
No, no, no. They're still swollen.
所以你才穿着运动裤
And that's why you're wearing sweat pants.
好吧 我...
Okay, I was --
我还怕你就这样放弃
I was afraid you'd just given up.
真是松了口气
So, whew!
它们会恢复的
They'll settle.
我打算随意地提到我的新健身计划
I'm gonna start casually referencing my new workout plan,
然后在阵亡将士纪念日那天
and then I'm gonna debut them
我会在拉古纳海滩展示出来
memorial day at Laguna beach.
我个人认为你不需要这样
I personally don't think that you needed them,
但如果那能让你开心
but if they make you happy --
-会的 -那就好
- They do. - Good.
我总是想成为
I always wanted to be
穿着紧身裤跑步的男人
one of those guys running in tights,
但我的小腿腿型还不够完美
but I was too embarrassed about my legs.
如果你去跑步...
Well, if you'd just gone running --
你多虑了 米奇尔
Yep. You're overthinking this, Mitchell.
不开玩笑 你不能告诉小卡
No joke, you can't tell Cam.
我爱他 但他是个超级大嘴巴
I love him, but he is a giant blabbermouth.
拜托 他没那么坏啦
Oh, come on. He's not that bad.
他只是 算了 我自己都不信
He just -- yeah, no, I can't even sell that.
杰 哪阵风把你吹来寒舍了
Jay, to what do I owe the pleasure?
我只是来接曼尼的
I'm just here to pick up Manny.
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