闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S02E11

Part 2 April 6, 2021, 10:15 a.m.

About the East Coast office situation.
众所周知纽约的猎头公♥司♥一直在挖我们墙角
We all know that New York headhunters
把我们逼到绝境
have been poaching us to death.
我知道这是设立分支机构必然会存在的问题
I know. That's the problem with having an out-of-town office.
或许是时候斩断纽约那边的分支了
Maybe time to fold our hand in New York.
又或者我们可以派个合伙人过去
Or we could send a partner there.
谁会想卷进那个烂摊子
Who'd want to get in to that mess?
我啊
I would.
我可以阻止人员流失
I can stop the bleeding,
让那地方运作得如一流事务所
get that place running like a top.
好吧但你不是马上要结婚了吗分分钟之后
Okay, but aren't you getting married in, like, an hour?
我猜计划没变吧
I assume that's still on.
没变戈登也会去纽约的
It is. Gordon would come too.
他在那也有生意
He has a business there,
那边一整顿好我就立马回来
and I would come right back after it's settled there.
我觉得这主意很不错
Well, I think it's a great idea.
艾伯特
Albert?
迪莉娅对我们来说犹如神力
Oh, well, Delia is our force of nature.
如果说还有谁能拯救360 Park的话
If anyone can help save 360 Park...
但这是你想要的吗
But is that what you want?
你经常都在说
You've always said that, uh,
纽约只有三天好且要费用全报销
New York is only good for 72 hours and an expense account.
二选一也不赖嘛
Well, one out of two isn't bad.
而且我准备好重新开始了
And I'm ready for a fresh start.
那就是全票通过了
Well, then I guess it's unanimous.
我们会想你的
We'll miss you.
天啊穿着昨天出门时的衣服回家
God, it's so weird coming home in the same clothes
这感觉太奇怪了
I went out with.
太像"女子监狱"的情节了
It's so "Orange Is the New Black."
而且回到家还得面对
And--and coming home to the same dishes
这堆昨天没洗的碗筷
that were out when I left.
好吧这是什么呀
It's okay. What's this?
生日快乐 Rize面包店精心制♥作♥ 专门伺候你的胃
Happy birthday. From Rize Bakery, straight to your stomach.
你真贴心
That is so sweet.
我说大早上就吃蛋糕
I mean, cake first thing in the morning,
好像有点儿--要不待会儿吃吧
that's a little-- maybe later.
疯子快放下那些清洁剂好吗
Psycho, put the cleaning supplies down, okay?
诤爱医生说你需要喂饱自己
Doctor Toughlove says you need to feed yourself,
所以好好利用这机会姐妹
so take advantage, sister.
瘦屁♥股♥快坐好
Sit your skinny ass down.
对你多幸运你是真的需要吃东西
Yes, and lucky you, you actually need to eat something.
-是啊 -斯科特做的蛋糕
- Yeah. - And Scott's cake...
也需要被享用了
needs to be eaten.
这话听着是挺不对劲的
That sounded so wrong.
自从那次沙发小激♥情♥后你和斯科特怎么样了
How is it with Scott after the whole couch incident?
气氛会不会有点诡异
Is that gonna be weird?
-我和斯科特一直挺冷静的 -是吗
- Eh, Scott and I are always kinda cool. - Yeah?
-愉快的爱爱并非都基于感情 -也对
- A good dry hump doesn't have to be all feels, Abs. - Right.
就当我们一起运动了下只不过没那么无聊罢了
It's like working out together, only less boring.
你就继续自欺欺人吧
Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.
-糟糕别啊 -什么什么
- Oh, crap, no. - What? What?
凯特给我发了杂♥志♥封皮照片过来
Kat is texting me the jacket copy,
可是这张肯定不能放到目录里
but this cannot go in the catalogue.
你看这张离婚苦情脸
Look at this Face of Divorce.
镜头还能离得更近吗
I mean, could the photo be any closer up?
你的T区看起来有点皱
You T-Zone looks kind of fracked.
对啊兰登书屋还供不起一根气笔[修图]吗
Yeah. Random House can't spring for an airbrush?
有点皱皱的
Kind of fracked. Yeah.
让你的拇指歇歇吧
Give your thumbs a break.
你应该放松下来吃东西的
You're supposed to be chilling and eating.
-我知道我正在写-- -放松下来吃东西
- I know. I'm writing-- - Chilling and eating.
我在写个简单的待办事项
I am writing a quick to-do list,
等这些事情一做完
and as soon as these things are done,
我就要去卧床休息了睡个一星期吧
I am going to take to bed for, like, a week.
就像床上和平运动
It's gonna be like a bed-in.
像约翰和洋子那样不过只有洋子
It's gonna be like John and Yoko, only just Yoko.
越战期间约翰列侬和小野洋子发起了长达两周的床上和平运动
以呼吁维护和平
你难道没考虑过"粉碎大脑"这下场吗
Did the words "Brain smash" not register with you?
不行凯特还在等我的目录稿
Hey, no, Kat is waiting for catalogue copy
和照片批准呢
and photo approval.
我得挤进这次秋季目录中
I need to get into the fall catalogue,
不然他们会把我的书拖到明年春天才发行的
or they will hold my book until spring.
那就随他们呗你给我赶紧休息
Let them. Take a freaking break.
不行乔我不能休息
I can't, Jo. I cannot.
事情会有变化有趋势走向
Things change. Trends.
万一哪天不流行离婚了
What if divorce goes away
突然反多元恋盛行了呢
and suddenly it's trans-polyamory?
我可没办法把自己彻底再改造一遍了
I cannot reinvent myself again.
我眼看着就要快玩完了
I am so close to being done.
我只要在这周内把书写完
I just need to finish my book this week
还有收拾好贝卡的婴儿用品
and--and pack up Becca's baby things
然后告诉孩子们他们不会再添个弟弟了
and tell the kids they're not getting a baby brother,
再为迪莉娅的单身女之夜订一辆豪华轿车
and order a limo for Delia's bachelorette.
艾比放下手♥机♥
Abby, put the phone down.
你得发誓这些事情都做完后
Hey, you gotta swear that after all of this is done--
我会去减压的我会去全身心放松下的
I will decompress. I will totally decompress.
我郑重承诺不然你可以把我送去承诺勒戒所
I promise you. Or you can send me to Promises.
「针对心理成瘾或精神问题的治疗中心林赛·罗韩曾在此戒毒」
看看我第一件待办事项
Look. Look at the top of my to-do list.
-"删了哈里斯" -不是这个抱歉
- "Un-friend Harris." - Oh, no. Oh, sorry.
再下面那条
The--the one after that.
-"学习冥想" -对吧相信我吧
- "Learn to meditate." - Right? Come on.
你回去上班吧好好过这一天做你该做的
I mean, just go to work. Have a day, do your thing.
我会在家待着的
I am gonna be here.
我准备铺个地垫
I am gonna be laying the groundwork
全面休息下
for Rest-O-Rama.
全面休息
Rest-O-Rama?
巧克力脆方饼
Choco Krispie square?
嗨
Hey, you.
这咖啡不是可怜你的
Not a pity coffee.
只是觉得昨晚过后你可能需要它提提神
Just thought you might need it after last night.
谢谢
Ah, thanks.
那是我老板
That's my boss.
现在你想要来个免费的可颂和马芬的结合体吗
Now, how would you like a bonus Cruffin Nookie?
昨天烤的不过依然很新鲜
Baked yesterday but still oh, so fresh.
真的吗有多新鲜
Really? How fresh?
你自己看打开盒子吧
See for yourself. Just open the box.
"身材真棒"
"Nice rack."
抱歉甜点是新鲜的
Sorry, that cruffin is fresh.
打给我盒子里有我的电♥话♥号♥码
Call me. I put my telephone number in the box.
斯科特我--我们得聊聊昨天晚上的事
Scott, we--we should talk about last night.
那件事那...件事
You know, the thing. The--the thing.
-哪件事 -沙发上发生的事
- The thing? - Yeah, the thing. On the--on the couch?
沙发上发生的事对对
Oh, the couch. Yes, yes.
我很享受沙发上发生的事
Yes, the couch was--was-- it was lovely.
真是...非常愉快的夜晚
It was, uh-- it was a lovely evening.
单数好吧
Singular? Okay.
我的意思是
Um, so I'm gonna, um--
我希望我们一致同意不再重蹈覆辙
I'm going to go with we agree to...not repeat.
好的好的
Yeah, yeah, I mean,
这是最简单的解决办法对吧
it's probably the least complicated choice, right?
为什么一切都要和感情挂钩
I mean, why make all this, you know, emotional?
没必要尴尬我们很好
You know, why get weird about it? We're good.
-没错 -一点不尴尬
- Yeah. - We're cool. Yeah.
没错棒极了
Yeah, we're cool. Fantastic.
这才是我的乔
There's my Jo, huh?
-这才是我的乔瑟芬 -哈哈
- There's my Josephine. - Ha ha.
我就知道
I-I knew it.
我就知道你是那种男人
I knew you were that guy.
只要"认真"的方式行不通
The whole "Let's do it" approach didn't work,
你就装作毫不在乎的样子
so then you pretend to give a shit