闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S02E02

Part 3 April 6, 2021, 10:10 a.m.

-真的吗 -真的我错了
- Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sorry.
该死的自以为是我的天
Such a know-it-all, my God.
忍♥不住啊
Can't help it.
其实我想
Actually, though, I want--
我想问你件事
I meant to ask you one thing,
就是这个
which is...this,
这个
here, this--
你觉得这个人能演军事情报员吗
does this guy play to you as military intelligence?
他有点年轻呀
He's a little young.
-对吧我就说 -没错
- Okay, right? - Right.
我就是这么想的但是选角
That's what I thought, but casting are--
我们又在聊工作了
We are working.
-对 -抱歉
- Yeah. - Sorry.
会不会是这地方太现实让人没法放松
Do you think maybe this place is too real for playtime?
你是说我们要来点《梦幻岛》那种氛围吗
You think we need more of a "Fantasy Island" vibe?
对比如一间豪华酒店
Yeah, like a fancy hotel where we could--
我们可以享受客房♥服务翻云覆雨
We could get room service, have lots of sex.
是哪里来着
what is the place with the, um...
-那个有小圣代的 -小圣代
-The little--the little sundaes? - The little sundaes!
对对对我来查查
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll look it up.
不等等我不行我两点要去SheShe开会
No, no, wait, I can't. I have a meeting at 2:00 at SheShe.
我不管
I don't care.
如果他们看到我们现在这样我肯定会被炒
If they saw us right now, I'd be so fired.
因为你谎话连篇
'Cause you are so full of shit.
-因为你 -好了停下
- 'Cause you're-- - Hey. Hey, stop.
要是我就取消会议
I just--just cancel that meeting.
我不能
I can't.
是和我的责任编辑还有恨我的那个女人开会
It's with my managing editor and the woman who hates me.
我还要卖♥♥离婚故事呢
I'm pitching divorce stories.
好吧去卖♥♥你的离婚故事吧
Okay, well, go pitch your divorce stories
之后再去酒店
and then go to the hotel
和你老公上♥床♥
and have sex with your husband.
不是他们抄袭我们的
No, they stole it from us!
那就来开业典礼吧
Well, come to the opening,
让你看看谁才是抄袭的
because we will show you who's derivative-ing who.
难以置信这些素食混♥蛋♥
Unbelievable, some vegan asshole...
请你在这签名
Can you sign here, please?
偷了我们高大上的秘方
Stole our frickin' faux-hos recipe,
他正在他的面包房♥发推特呢
and he's tweeting it from his bakery.
-谢谢 -我今天早上看到了新产品
- Thank you. - I saw it this morning. Now look.
尝尝
Taste this.
天哪
Oh, my God.
这是什么
What is this?
咱们的新招牌爱爱曲饼
Our new signature, the cruffin nookie.
一半松饼一半曲奇用可颂面团制成
Part muffin, part cookie, made with croissant dough
再烤出完美的脆皮
and baked to a crispy perfection.
"Nookie"里的"N"只是为了听起来淫♥荡♥些
The N in "Nookie" Is just there to sound dirty.
「 nookie有性♥交♥之意」
你在逗我吧
This is unbelievable.
你怎么不用黄油就做出可颂面团的
How'd you make the croissant dough without butter?
你开玩笑呢
Are you kidding?
这里面有将近一磅黄油呢
There's, like, a pound of it in there.
我们是素食面包房♥
We're a vegan bakery.
不再是了
Not anymore.
咱们在纽约开店的时候素食是个大转变
When we did that in New York, it was, like, a radical shift,
但咱们现在在洛杉矶
but now we're in L.A.
油脂可以成为新式的素食
The fat can be the new nonfat.
大错特错这可是世界素食者的中心
Wrong, this is the vegan capital of the world.
乔你已经不是素食者了我也不是
Jo, you're not even a vegan anymore, and I'm not a vegan.
我从来没当过素食者
I've never been a vegan.
要不是会过敏我才不会吃得这么寡淡
I have to eat this sorry-ass way because I have allergies.
拿着这个讨人厌的美味
Take this delicious abomination,
把它毁尸灭迹
destroy all evidence of this.
乔我是个艺术家艺术家需要成长
Jo, I am an artist, and artists need to grow.
不许成长听见了吗
No growing. You hear me?
你就保持现在这个大小
You stay the exact same size.
不许成长
No growing.
不许改变
No change.
现在我得去找房♥子了我回来的时候
Now, I got to go apartment hunting, so when I return,
这里最好给我装满素食的东西
this place better be piled high with vegan crap.
拜托
Come on!
要出去吗
Going somewhere?
是出去见个人
Yeah, a quick meeting out of the office.
你得取消了
You're gonna have to cancel it.
我有坏消息
I have some bad news.
格兰特·曼宁死了
Grant Manning is dead.
什么什么时候
What? When?
几天前滑雪事故
A couple days ago, ski accident.
黑钻石滑道撞树上了
Black diamond run, hit a tree.
-太糟糕了 -是啊
- How awful. - Yeah.
原谅我要问一下这个问题
Please forgive me for what I'm about to ask.
我早想到了答案是没有
I'm way ahead of you, and the answer is no,
他死前没有签好离婚协议
he did not sign the divorce agreement before he died.
该死
Shit.
艾伯特我为这个案子努力一年多了
Albert, I've worked on that case for over a year.
没错现在得从头开始了
Yeah, well, it's as if it never happened.
安妮还是他的妻子
Annie is still his wife,
她在和他的女儿争遗产呢
and she's fighting his daughter for property.
我能做什么
What can I do?
下午两点来会议室调解
Be in the conference room at 2:00 p.m. To mediate.
好的一小时之内回来
Okay, be back in an hour.
你还是要走
You're still leaving?
是我约好了见婚礼策划师
Yeah, I agreed to meet with a wedding planner.
-这就开始了 -不艾伯特这不是开始
- It starts. - No, Albert, it stops.
就见这一次面没有下次
I meet once, and that's it.
然后就没我的事了
Then I'm done.
一切都会妥善处理好的
Everything's gonna be taken care of.
你穿得这是什么我以为我们要打球的
What are you wearing? I thought we were playing.
是你
You are.
还有沃尔特
Walt.
沃尔特是谁
Who's Walt?
在麦克斯不在的这段时期
I hired a manny to play sports
我雇了个男保姆带孩子们运动
with the boys while Max is gone.
他带他们去冲浪打网球
Yeah, he takes them surfing, plays tennis,
踢足球打篮球真是太棒了
football, basketball; it's great.
好吧所以我要和男保姆打球了
Okay, so I get the manny?
-你不会真的想和我打吧 -是啊
- You don't seriously want to play basketball with me. - No?
所以在沃尔特和你激烈角逐之时
So I will be Max's emotional proxy
我就作为麦克斯的情感代理人
while Walt runs your ass off.
-沃尔特这是杰克 -你好
- Walt, this is Jake. - Oh, hey, man.
-谢谢你愿意和我打球 -非常荣幸
- Thanks for letting me play. - My pleasure.
所以你现在要开始虐我了吗
Now you kick my ass? Is that right?
别这样就是图个乐子不是吗
Come on, dude, we're just gonna have some fun, right?
我跟你说
Look. I tell you what.
你介不介意我先热一下身
You mind if I warm up a little bit?
不会好好拉伸一下吧
No, stretch it out.
他是个高大魁梧的年轻小伙
So he's a strapping young man,
你丈夫现在不在家所以...
and your husband's out of town, and--
他是直的
He's straight.
看起来可不是这样啊
And it's not even like that.
他在阿富汗上了四年学
No, he did four years in Afghanistan.
现在要去加州大学洛杉矶分校读书
He's going to UCLA.
对孩子们而言他是个好榜样
He's a good role model for the boys,
所以别想得那么龌龊
so get your mind out of the gutter.
好吧轮到你了
All right, your turn.
麦克斯告诉我贝卡怀孕了
Max tells me Becca's pregnant?
这就是麦克斯所谓的守口如瓶吗
Wow, way to respect the cone of silence, Max.
你有跟他说没有亲属特免权吗
Well, did you tell him there was no spousal dispensation?
-没有 -好吧那保密同盟算我一个
- No. - Okay, well, then the cone includes me.
你知道规矩的
You know the rules.
艾比怎么说