闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S02E02

Part 5 April 6, 2021, 10:10 a.m.

and the no-bake, dairy-free biscottis?
你在做什么
What are you doing?
听听你自己在说什么
Do you hear yourself?
人造无未经不含
Faux, less, no, free,
你这简直是剥夺美食乐趣
you are literally pimping deprivation.
素食主义者就喜欢剥夺美食乐趣
Vegans like deprivation.
所以他们才是素食主义者
That is why they are vegan.
好吧我这人不是也不会是了
Yeah, well, not this guy, not anymore.
告诉你
So you know what?
我不干了
I quit.
你得留在这里
You are gonna stay here.
你得做好你的工作
You're gonna do your job.
我不想要工作
I don't want a job.
好吧不好意思艺术家先生
Oh, well, excuse me, Mr. Artiste.
你知道吗
You know what?
-我把你从农贸市场里救出来 -别
- I plucked you from a farmers' market... - Ah, don't even--
三线农贸市场啊宝贝
A C-list farmers' market, baby,
你这就要背弃我吗
and you're gonna bail on me?
你曾是我认识的最有种的妞
You used to be the ballsiest chick I knew,
现在你只是
and now you're just a--
跟他们一样的资本主义盲从
just another capitalist drone.
你才是没种的那个
You're the one without the balls.
你担心你融不进洛杉矶
You're afraid you can't cut it in L.A.
-这就是原因 -我
- That's what's going on. - I--
我讨厌洛杉矶狗狗装包里
I hate L.A., little dogs in purses,
但你知道吗
but you know what?
我受到了激发
I'm stimulated.
是我有了想法
Yeah, I'm having ideas.
改变是好的乔乔
Change is good, Jo-Jo.
感觉很差但这是好事
It feels like shit, but it's good.
女士们抱歉我迟到了
Ladies, sorry I'm late.
米歇尔安妮
Michelle, Annie,
请节哀顺变
my sincere condolences for your loss.
是我节哀
My loss.
爸爸是要跟她离婚的
Dad was divorcing her.
女士们我理解
Ladies, I understand.
这对你们来说都不好受
This is very emotional for you both,
但我得知只有一个问题
but I have been told there is just one issue
需要解决
that needs to be resolved,
我有信心我们
and I'm confident that we--
你不会得到精♥子♥的
You're not getting the sperm.
他在离婚协议中同意给我了
He agreed to let me have it in the divorce settlement.
他没签那些文件
He never signed the papers.
他希望我能有小孩
He wanted me to have a baby.
女士们请讨论些我们能够达成共识的
Ladies, let's talk about something that we can agree on.
我们能达成共识的是这个疯子
We can agree that this psychopath,
曾是我从初中到高中的最好的朋友
who was my best friend through junior high and high school,
她差不多是在我家长大的
who practically grew up in my house, and the minute
我一去上大学她就跟我爸搞到一起了
that I leave for college is screwing my dad.
好家伙
Nice.
知道吗
You know what?
我爸爸的精♥子♥ 你想都别想
You are not getting one ounce of my father's jizz,
听懂了吗
do you understand?
这东西的维他命含量
More vitamins in this thing
比我一整年摄入的还多
than I consumed all of last year.
试着在你吃的汉堡上加点西红柿吧
Maybe start putting tomatoes on your In-N-Out burgers.
不可能
Unlikely.
只是个提议
Just a suggestion.
我不知道我只是想要
So I don't know. I just wanted to--
我想来看看你对这一切有什么感觉
I wanted to check in and see how you're feeling about everything.
我很好每天可能感觉不太一样
I'm okay. It depends on the day.
孩子那是那是很大的决定
A baby, that's-- that's a big decision.
确实非常大
Huge, it is,
我想说
and I got to say,
我感觉好像是我让你这么想的
I feel like I kind of talked you into it.
我是说你一开始决定不要的
I mean, well, you know, you had decided to not have it.
-然后我说不论我... -好吧
- And then I said whatever I-- - Well--
这事非常重要不论你做什么
It's just really important, whatever you do,
你要跟着自己的直觉走
that you follow your own instinct on it
这是你的决定知道吗
and that it's your decision, you know?
所以你是说我不应该要小孩
So you're saying I shouldn't have the baby?
不好吧可能吧
No, I'm--well, maybe.
我是说你应该
I'm saying you should do...
你得知道不论你做什么
that you should know that whatever you are gonna
都会影响到你的生活
do is going to affect, you know, your life.
那为什么我觉得我们谈的都是对你的影响
So why do I feel like we're talking about you?
不我们不是在谈对我的影响
No, we're not talking -- well, I mean,
我一直明确表明我不想再要孩子
I've been very clear that I can't do the baby thing again.
我以为你明白
I thought you understood that.
我已经有两个孩子
I mean, I've had my kids,
我的生活目前正走向完全不同的方向
and I -- my life is moving in a very different direction right now,
我只是想确定我们的想法是一致的
and I just want to make sure we're on the same page with that.
是啊
Right.
-别难过 -想法绝对一致
- Okay, don't -- don't get upset. - Totally same page.
我只是
I'm just...
怎么了
What's happening?
我要把孩子生下来
I'm having the baby.
好的
Okay.
谢谢你的关心
Thanks for checking in.
怎么了找我什么事
Hey, what's up? You want to see me?
市中心新开的布罗德博物馆
There's a fashion show downtown
这周六晚有时装秀
at the New Broad Saturday night.
几位顶级设计师要首发最新设计
Several top designers are premiering new pieces.
你选一件来穿
You'll be wearing one of them.
这些都是给我准备的
These are for me?
先拿这些去试穿一会儿还有更多
Take them. Try 'em on. More are coming.
造型师会帮你决定
The stylist will decide.
我还有造型师
I have a stylist?
我们想要性感担当尽可能性感
We want sexy face to look as good as possible.
这些设计师都是谁我先上网查查资料
Well, who are the designers so I can look them up?
为什么你没必要知道
Why? You don't need to know.
我连设计师是谁都不知道
Well, how am I gonna cover the fashion shows
怎么报道时装秀
if I don't know who the designers are?
「美国著名主持人」
冷静点凯蒂·柯丽克
Calm down, Katie Couric.
不需要你报道
You won't be reporting.
你和约会对象坐在第一排就好人选待定
You'll sit in the front row with your date, who is TBD.
我们把你拍得美美的
We'll take pretty pictures.
你再写写怎么做自己现在我要去开会了
You will write about being you, and now I have a meeting.
莎士比亚剧情是吧
Shakespeare, right?
进来
Come on in.
谢谢
Thank you.
那是什么
What is that?
那是我未婚夫和一个名叫乔纳森的卡♥通♥角色
That is a wedding look book put together by my fiance
一起选出来的婚礼用品目录
and a cartoon character named Jonathan.
你不打开看看
You're not gonna look at it?
我放弃了
Hmm? Uh, I abdicated.
随便戈登选什么我都无所谓
Whatever Gordon chooses is fine with me.
真的
Really?
真的
Really.
乔纳森·奥马利策划
我还真没看你穿过羽毛装呢
You know, I've never seen you in feathers,
不过你肯定撑得起气场
but I'm sure that you can pull it off.
我不会中计的艾伯特
Yeah, it is not gonna work, Albert.
整个婚礼空中飞人一直吊在上面飞吗
Will the aerialists be up there during the entire ceremony?
还有熊猫呢
Ooh, pandas.
是谁
Who's there?
宝贝
Hey, babe.
天啊你这几天去哪了
Jesus. Where have you been?
一通电♥话♥都没回我
You haven't returned any of my calls.
我脱不开身
I got caught up.
你的润唇膏呢