闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S02E05

Part 6 April 6, 2021, 10:12 a.m.

好的你喝吧
Yeah, you will.
好的这就对了
All righty. There you go.
迪莉娅你怎么了
Delia, what is going on with you?
没什么
Nothing.
只不过工作上发生了很奇怪的事
I just had a really strange day at work.
-我差点和我老板亲热起来 -什么
- I almost made out with my boss. - What?
-不是吧你没开玩笑吧 -和艾伯特吗
- No shit, are you serious? - With Albert?
-你没开玩笑吧 -我是有什么毛病吗
- Are you serious? - What is wrong with me?
你没有毛病
Nothing's wrong with you.
想当年我把毕业舞会的伴儿甩了
Back in the day, I dumped my prom date
找了一个怪怪的长号♥手替我用手解决
to get finger-banged by a weird trombone player.
-我永远也忘不掉这件事 -不是吧
- I'll never forget that. - No.
大家好你们在这儿啊
Hey, there you are.
米切尔问我们可不可以
Mitchell asked us if we could
为我的专栏照一张闺蜜合照
all do a girlfriends photo for my column
米切尔还真是多愁善感
Oh, Mitchell's so sentimental.
以后再说吧
You can rain check for us.
-不是吧 -是的
- Seriously? - Yeah.
-只是一张照片而已 -我们照不了
- It's a photo. - Oh, we can't.
我们正忙于分♥析♥为什么
We're too busy analyzing the fact
迪莉娅要把她的舌头伸进她老板的喉咙里
why Delia decided to shove her tongue down her boss's throat.
你能不能别说了
Oh, would you please?
跟戈登闹矛盾了吗
Is something going on with Gordon?
贾尼丝·迪金森是你的粉丝
Hey, Janice Dickinson's a fan,
她想要在走之前见你一面
and she wants to meet you before she goes.
去工作吧艾比我们自己可以搞得定
Go work, Abby. We've got it all handled here.
好的
Okay.
我不知道我怎么就得罪了你
I don't know how I magically offended you.
真的吗你不知道吗
Really? You have no idea?
我只知道我为你举办了这个隆重盛大的活动
I know that I put together this big, elaborate event for you tonight
让你可以拥有你自己的毕业舞会
So that you can have your own prom.
然后你又把它全部抢走了
And then you totally hijacked it,
你和哈里斯你和SheShe
You and Harris, you and SheShe,
你和你的专栏
you and your column!
好吧好吧好吧让我们冷静一下
All right, all right, all right, let's just calm down.
就是这么回事
Now, that is exactly what this about.
我很遗憾你强大的自尊心不能容许
I am so sorry your huge ego couldn't handle
别人想要听我谈论我的经历哪怕一次
someone wanting me to talk about my experience for once.
你想怎么谈论你的经历都可以菲比
You can talk about your experience all you want, Phoebe,
但很抱歉这是我的专栏
but I'm sorry. This is my column,
为了它我工作得非常努力
and I have worked very hard for it.
我工作也很努力
I worked hard too.
简直是拼了命在工作
I worked my ass off,
并且我终于取得了一点让自己骄傲的成绩
and I finally accomplished something that I'm proud of.
你拿到了高中同等学历而已
You passed the GED!
这不代表你就是一个作家了
That doesn't make you a writer.
艾比
Abby.
你刚才说得太过了
You were pretty harsh back there.
别掺合芭芭拉
Back off, Barbara.
我的朋友们变成了一群讨厌我的刻薄女生
My friends have turned into a pack of mean girls
而我喜欢的男人一个我真的喜欢的
that resent me, and a guy that I really liked,
想跟他在一起的人却放了我鸽子
that I can actually see myself being with, stood me up.
在一起你跟那个医生只约会了两次
Being with? Okay. You went on two dates with the doctor,
还是不要小题大做了
so reel it in a little bit
对你已经受伤了的朋友友善点吧
and make nice with your friend who is hurting.
你真的喜欢菲比吗
Do you even like Phoebe,
还是你只是说这些话来气我的
or are you just saying that to piss me off?
天啊看看刻薄的是谁
Good lord, who's being a mean girl now?
你啊你从第一天起就开始讨厌我
You. You have resented me from day one,
而且我已经厌倦了跟你相处小心翼翼
and I am just sick and tired of tiptoeing around you
就为了不惹你生气
trying not to upset you.
你想要恨我吗你不是一个人哦
You want to hate me? Get in line.
小鸭鸭们到这里来
Here, ducky, ducky, ducky, ducky.
快看那些鸭子啊
Look at the ducks.
快看啊
Oh-ho, look at that.
大家快来和鸭子们合影
Take your picture with the ducks.
艾比兰达乔
Abby, Ronda, Jo!
-好了 -原来你在这里
- Yes! - There you are.
让我瞧瞧你硕大的胸器
Bring those big, bad titties on over here.
这才是我认识的那个变♥态♥
Oh, there's the pervert I know.
我正在回顾一些非常不好的高中闪回片段
I'm having some really bad high school flashbacks.
我们能离开这儿吗
Can we get out of here?
我带着面包房♥的钥匙
I've got keys to the bakery.
-好啊 -好啊
- Uh-huh. - Yeah.
-再见了小鸭子们 -好的
- Bye, ducky. - All right.
-再见 -真的吗
- Bye! - Really?
我要把我的枕头都扔掉
I'm getting rid of my pillows.
对了我们是从回声公园把它们带过来的
FYI, we took 'em from Echo Park,
所以你也应该把它们还回那里去
so you should probably return them to there.
他们是野鸭子
Them is street ducks.
贫民区的鸭子
Ghetto ducks.
天啊杰克把那个放下
Jesus, Jake, put that down.
你真是个控制狂玛姬·辛普森
You're so controlling, Marge Simpson.
你跟莉莉聊过了吗
Did you talk to Lilly yet?
什么不还没有
What? No. I--not yet.
艾比和你女儿聊一聊
Abby, talk to your daughter.
我本来是要的
I was going to.
你到底在这儿干什么
What are you even doing here?
还有那些鸭子开什么玩笑杰克
And ducks? Seriously, Jake?
你知道今晚对我很重要的
You knew this night was important to me.
我很抱歉
You know what? I'm sorry,
我就是做不到把那些文书寄走
I can't just mail the papers
然后把自己收拾干净
and then look all clean
再穿上一条漂亮的裙子和我新认识的
and put on a beautiful dress and then go with my new guy
方下巴的男朋友一起去参加毕业舞会
who's got a jaw that's all square and go to a prom
然后生活就一片美好
and then everything is great with life.
我必须去感受这一切
I have to feel this.
你就是这么想的吗
Is that what you think,
这一切对我来说都很轻松吗
that this is easy for me?
我不知道
I don't know.
你一定过得很开心
You're certainly having a good time.
相信我我只是在尽力维持我的状态
Trust me, I am just trying to stay in motion,
因为我害怕一旦我停下来
because I am afraid if I stop,
我就再也维持不下去了
I will not be able to get going again ever.
就像一条必须不停游动的鲨鱼
Like a shark that's got to keep moving;
一旦它停下来它就会感觉到然后
Otherwise it's gonna get the feels and--
是的
Yes.
天啊你闻起来像是一只湿了的鸭子
Oh, my God, you smell like wet duck.
没关系
It's okay.
斯考特
Scott!
老兄你这是在干什么
Dude, what the hell, man?
拜托
Come on!
经典的宽腰带 R.F.
Classy cummerbund, RF.
乔这位是
Um, Jo, this is--
玛丽我认识我特么一星期前刚雇的她
Mary, I know. I frickin' hired her a week ago.
这怎么回事这是你在厨房♥约的第三炮吗
What is this, the third employee you've kitchen-banged?
你跟我说你之前从没干过这样的事
You told me you'd never done this before.
没跟你干过
Well, not with you.
好了好了明迪小甜心
Hey, hey, come on, come on, Mindy, cupcake.
-是玛丽玛丽 -玛丽玛丽
- Mary, Mary. - Mary, Mary, Mary!
你看看他做了什么
Did you see what he...
我们以前也是那样啊
Oh, we used to be like that.
你总是对我动手动脚停不下来
You couldn't keep your hands off me.
得了吧你才喜欢摸来摸去
Oh, please, you were the groper,
总是想在你家的屋顶上跟我来一发
always trying to jump me on the roof of your place,
让那个小巷子里的流浪♥女♥
putting on a show for that homeless lady
看一场免费的性♥爱♥表演你还记得吗
in the alleyway, you remember?
-过去的时光真是美好 -是啊
- Those were the days. - Yeah.
从不会无聊
It was never boring.
等一下不行乔我不能这么做
Whoa, whoa, wait. No, no, Jo, Jo, Jo, I can't.