闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S02E08

Part 4 April 6, 2021, 10:13 a.m.

我的天啊这里有什么安♥眠♥酮♥吗
Jesus Christ. What the hell is in there-- quaalude?
这是含猪油的旁波威士忌和烟熏迷迭香
It's a lardo-infused bourbon and smoked rosemary.
我怎么没猜出来
Why didn't I think of that?
其他饮品都忘了放猪油
Drink's been missing the lard.
好啦干杯
All right, cheers.
敬迪莉娅
To Delia.
-敬做出正确决定的迪莉娅 -正确
- To Delia for doing it right. - Right?
对我是认真的
Oh, no, I'm serious.
你和戈登是天造地设的一对
You and Gordon are meant for each other.
你婆婆也非常好
Even Mom here is fabulous.
-向婆婆致敬 -你知道吗
- To Mom. - You know what?
弗朗普金斯的妈妈都说不清'安定剂'这几个字
Frumpkis' mom could barely enunciate through the valium.
一旦你因为各种各样错误的理由结了婚
And that is what happens when you marry
就会出现这种状况
for all the wrong reasons.
我觉得结婚的理由没有对错
I don't think there are right and wrong reasons to get married.
不确实有的
Oh, hell, yes, there are.
我就是因为又小又害怕才结了婚
I got married because I was young and I was terrified.
而且我不认为我有从头再来的机会了
And I didn't think I'd have another chance.
所以现在就为了计较那点财产
And here I am paying you out the nose
我要付出这么大代价
just to haggle over my own damn property.
现在是网上约会的黄金时代
Now you're single in the golden era
你终于单着了为陌陌干杯
of online dating, so cheers to Tinder.
棒极了
Great.
不说真的迪莉娅
No, seriously, Delia,
你显然一直在等那个非常非常完美的人
you obviously waited for the one-- the perfect, perfect one.
振作起来吧灰姑娘没有什么是完美的
Snap out of it, Cinderella. Nothing's perfect.
我是说我只是认为不切实际的期待
I mean, I just... think that unrealistic expectations
可能会对夫妻关系造成伤害
can be as harmful to a relationship--
准备好喝下一轮鸡尾酒了吗女士们
Ready for the next round of cocktail, ladies?
-当然 -是的
- Yeah. - Yeah.
一切都好吗小迪
Everything all right, Dee?
当然了
Absolutely.
万事如意
As right as rain.
等等现在怎么个状况
Wait. What the hell's going on,
为什么我所有的雇员都和你穿的一样
and why are all my employees dressed like you?
我们都忙得四脚朝天了
We are busier than a one-legged cat in a sandbox.
这不是很棒吗
Isn't it great?
是啊门外大概有20人在排队
Yeah, there's a line of, like, 20 people out the door.
你们还在后厨这干什么
What are you guys doing back here?
我得再过来拿点花生黄油小面包
Oh, I just had to refresh on peanut butter bombs.
我一整天都忙着提供试吃品
I've been giving out samples all day,
大家吃得如狼似虎风卷残云
and people are eating them up like they're curing cancer.
试吃品
Samples?
那些面包大概4.75美元一块
Those are, like, $4.75 a piece.
如果他们想尝一尝的话可以花钱买♥♥
If they want a taste, they can pay for it.
我认为我们错失了一个绝好的机会
I think we're missing a plum opportunity.
斯科特你能给我们这位联合经理
Scott, would you please explain to our co-manager here
解释一下要怎么做生意吗
how business works?
实际上乔我认为这主意超棒
Actually, Jo, I think it's a great idea.
我是说大家都排队等着
I mean, people do get stuck in their ways.
好吧
Fine.
那在人们离开之前赶紧回到前台
Just go back out there before people start to leave.
好吧要知道在我老家
Oh, well, you know, where I come from,
门前有人排队是个好现象
a line out the door is considered good optics.
说起来为什么要把我们帅气
Speaking of which, why are we hiding
又有着可爱口音的面包师藏在后厨呢
our handsome baker and his adorable accent?
一个人待在这简直像公牛的乳♥头♥一样暴殄天物
Back here all alone, he's as useless as tits on a bull.
我打赌你也同意这句吧
I bet you agree on that too.
你是最先同意这一切的人
Hey, you're the one who agreed to all of this in the first place.
别忘了
Remember that.
我吵不赢你
That wasn't a fight I could win.
那之前你也没少和我吵
It's never stopped you before.
好吧等等
Okay, hang on.
发生了什么乔
What's going on, Jo?
你和平时完全不一样
You're not acting like your usual self at all.
确实是
No, I'm not.
我很累
I'm, um-- I'm really... tired.
这一切我随时都有可能失去这一切
All of this-- all of this could get taken away from me.
我所剩下的只有我的孩子
The only thing I have left is my kid,
就连佐伊都要被一分为二了
and even Zooey gets split down the middle.
听着谁也不能把Rize从你手里夺走
Hey, no one is ever taking Rize away from you.
不是的
No.
他们会逼着我拱手相让
They're gonna make me give it to them.
-你好啊约瑟芬 -什么事
- Yoo-hoo, Josephine? - Yeah?
如果你就在后厨闲晃
If you're gonna idle back here,
这里看起来会像是凶残的龙♥卷♥风♥
it looks like a downright vindictive tornado
席卷了男卫生间一样
has hit the men's commode.
你知道吗
You know what?
你为什么为什么不去
Why don't-- why don't you,
"共同管理"一下这个局面呢沙琳
um, go co-manage that, Char?
你知道我想做什么吗
You know what I think I'm gonna do?
我想剩下这周末都好好休息
I think I'm gonna take the rest of the weekend off.
老实说我觉得是个好主意
Well, honestly, I think that's a good idea.
真的吗
Do you?
你一身酒味乔
You smell like booze, Jo.
分手大会
这句怎么样
How is this?
"离婚是一个选择是一个只有
"Divorce is an option, but only after hard work,
经过艰苦努力充分沟通
a lot of communication,
往往要求助于专业顾问才能做出的选择"
and, usually, the help of a certified counselor."
这要看情况了
It depends.
你是想说"废话"还是"空话"呢
Are you going for "Blah" or "Whatever"?
你得讲出你的观点来
You need a point of view.
艾比准备好惊艳全场了吗
Hey, Abby. Ready to wow them?
她早就准备好了
Ready as she'll ever be.
让他们看看你有多厉害
Give 'em good face, Face.
好吧
All right.
分手大会
到场的人比我想象的要多很多
There's so many more people than I expected.
你们还没离婚吗
So are we divorced yet?
艾比艾比
Abby! Abby!
艾比艾比
Abby! Abby!
艾比艾比艾比艾比
Abby! Abby! Abby! Abby!
分手大会洛杉矶会议中心
我的天啊刚才的演讲真是太棒了
Oh my God. That was amazing.
你说的太对了
You were totally right.
我看了一下我新写的东西
I looked at the new stuff that I wrote,
确实是"废话" 所以我就按原来写的说
and it was "Blah," And so I went with the first one,
反响太热烈了
and they were so responsive.
我认识到了我需要传达一些讯息
I learned I need to stay on message--
来自我的讯息
my message.
态度转变还真是大啊
Oh, that's quite the change of heart.
我是说我在想
I mean, I was thinking,
这里有很多人已经准备好
there are a lot of people here who already cater
承受分手的痛苦了
to the sad part of a split.
但人们需要希望
But people need hope.
我可以做人们的希望
I am okay with being that.
-天啊真激动 -淡定淡定
- God, what a rush! - All right, all right.
赶紧去看看你的手♥机♥吧
Well, rush yourself over to your phone.
-它一直在响 -好的
- It's been ringing. - Okay.
语♥音♥信箱
迪莉娅·巴耐 6条新留言
迪莉娅
6个未接来电
来了
Coming.
迪莉娅
Delia.
你的留言我都收到了怎么了
I got all your messages. What's going on?
你绝不会相信我做了什么
You're never gonna believe what I did.
我知道跟艾伯特搞外遇这事很糟糕
I knew having an affair with Albert was awful.
只不过
It just--
我的理智都消失了
The sensible part of me just checked out.
而唯一的解释就是我是个混♥蛋♥
So the only explanation is that I am a monster.
你不是就算你试图说服自己是个混♥蛋♥
You're not, and trying to convince yourself that you are
也不会帮你你弄清楚你为什么会这么做