闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S02E05

Part 3 April 6, 2021, 10:12 a.m.

如果你不喜欢
Well, you know, you don't have to write it
可以不写
if you don't feel comfortable.
这是完全合理的
It's completely understandable.
-真的吗 -没错
- Really? - Yeah.
芭芭拉好像很喜欢这个主意
I thought Barbara seemed pretty sold on the idea.
芭芭拉本来也不是很喜欢我所以...
Barbara's not exactly my number one fan, so...
所以你觉得她给我这个专栏
Oh, so you think she only offered me the column
只是为了把你惹毛
just to piss you off.
不当然不是那个意思我…
Oh, I--no. I mean, of course not that, but I just--
你没必要为了写东西这种事
You just don't have to feel any pressure, right,
压力太大
to write anything.
这是你的毕业舞会
This is your prom.
如果我来写你好好享受就好
If I write it, you get to just enjoy it.
好的那说定了啊
All right, let's stick to the game plan.
-好的除非你真的想 -不
- Great. Unless you really want to-- - No.
-好 -我是说对就你来写
- Okay. - I mean, yes, you write it.
-好你确定吗 -我确定
- Okay. You sure? - Yeah.
看起来我们对基本事项都达成一致意见了
Looks like we are all in line with the basics.
离婚时你们可以
You would each leave the marriage
各自带走结婚前所有的个人资产
with what you had upon entering into it.
听夫人的
Per the lady's demands.
-幸好我不会离婚 -我也是
- Luckily, I'm not leaving. - Me neither.
我们再来谈谈孩子的监护权
Let's go over child custody.
不用了没必要
No, that won't be necessary.
就按照标准条款来
We're just gonna go with the standard terms.
好的接下来是子女抚养费
Fine, let's move on to child support payments.
这也是按标准来
The same, standard.
好吧但你们需要明确一下万一双方离世
All right, but you do need to appoint child guardians
孩子的监护人是谁
in the case of both of your deaths.
你想让孩子跟你妈妈吗
Fine, do you want to just go with your mother?
我这边没什么可行的选择
I don't have any viable options in mine, so...
不好意思
I'm sorry.
你们没有讨论过这些事吗
Have you two not discussed any of this stuff yet?
我们有提起过
Oh, it's been mentioned.
但仅仅是让这位女士走向婚姻
Believe me, it's been hard enough just getting this lady
就已经很难了
to the altar.
我不是你们的医生之类的
Look, I'm not your therapist or anything,
但这些事光光提起而已是不够的
but you might want to more than mention it soon.
这事能就这样过了吗
Can we just wrap this up please?
这地方真棒
This place is rocking, huh?
我喜欢这个新设计
I love the new design.
-生意怎么样 -好到爆
- How's business? - Amazing.
早上就被毒品贩子们挤满了
In the morning, it's swarming with Venice Beach jackasses,
不过我是不常来
but not that I'm here much.
我可是有激♥情♥四射的约会生活的人
I've got a pretty hectic dating life.
是吗
Oh, really?
说说看有什么特别中意的吗
Do tell. Anyone special?
说实话他的名字跟你没半毛钱关系
Actually, his name's none of your goddamn business.
-当我没问 -不过他的丁丁超大
- Forget I asked. - His dick is huge, though.
好吧
Okay, I get it.
我很高兴你过得很好
Look, I'm glad you're good, and, uh...
我希望你开心
I want you to be happy.
太假了我喜欢你说话中间
Way to really sell it. I like that little sigh
夹杂的一声叹息很机智
you threw in in the middle there. It's brilliant.
你觉得我不是真心的
You don't think I mean it?
我认识的那个人不懂什么叫真心
Oh, the guy I know doesn't know how to mean it,
而且他也不会
and he also doesn't spend his days
「下犬式瑜伽动作需弯腰」
把时间浪费在死水麦田里做下犬式
in a backwater cornfield doing downward dog, either.
以前的我是个灾难
I was a disaster.
现在的我敢于承认这一点了
I can own that now.
我知道我深深地伤害了你们俩
And I know that I hurt both of you very deeply.
我很抱歉乔真的
I'm sorry about that, Jo. I am.
罗布
Robbie F.?
斯考特
Scotty.
过来你这个英国佬
Come here, you limey son of a bitch.
是我看错了
Do my eyes deceive me,
还是你减掉了几磅肥肉
or have you shed a few pounds?
-看看你 -是减了点
- I mean -- - Eh, a few.
我试了一种青汁清肠法彻底改变一切
I did this field of greens juice cleanse, total game changer.
我试过那个
Yeah, I've done that one.
羽衣甘蓝和小黄瓜上头进去下头出来
Kale, cucumber, in one end, out the other.
爆♥炸♥性效果
Yeah, yeah, and then kaboom.
-就像把夏天装在瓶子里 -穿肠而过
- Summer in a bottle. - Right through the system, man.
太给力了
Total yokage.
他减掉了多少体重
Well, how much weight did he lose?
重点不是体重
Oh, it's not about the weight.
人人都知道他是个疯子
He's a known lunatic,
他却装出一副新好男人的样子让我瘆的慌
but he's acting all reformed, and it's freaking me out.
我得把那个派对动物
I need to lure the party animal,
真实的弗朗普金斯
real Frumpkis, out of this tube
从那个来自地狱的南方佳人的封印里释放出来
that the southern belle from hell has locked him in.
我相信你能想到一些不光明正大的手段
Well, I'm sure you'll come up with something appropriately devious.
我得先挂了
Listen, I got to go because, uh,
哈里斯医生马上要来接我
Dr. Harris is picking me up soon.
他要带我去博伊尔高地新开的一家神秘餐厅
He's taking me to this new mystery spot in Boyle Heights.
-要命别被他杀了 -不会的
- Yikes. Don't get dead. - No. No.
你这么快就开始重新约会了
Well, you aren't missing a beat getting back on the dating horse.
你确定自己准备好了吗
You sure you're ready for this?
我完全准备好了彻底准备好了
Yeah, I am totally ready. I am absolutely great.
好了我得挂了拜拜
Okay, I got to go. Bye.
拜拜
Bye. Hmm.
-准备好你会喜欢这里的 -是吗
- Get ready. You're gonna like this. - Yeah?
最好值得写进SheShe专栏
Better be SheShe-worthy.
你把每一个约会对象都带到这里来灭口吗
Is this where you take all your dates to murder them,
还是只带第一次约会时情感小崩溃的人来
or just the ones that have minor breakdowns on the first date?
你那次可不是小崩溃
Oh, that wasn't a minor breakdown.
你离婚还是复合都解决好了吗
So is this resolved, this married/not-married thing?
彻底解决了我感觉很好
Totally, yeah. Feel great.
能把那些事都放下感觉真的很棒
It's just -- all that stuff, it's just nice to have it behind me.
-你看起来也很棒 -谢谢
- You seem great. - Thank you.
准备好了吗
You ready?
来吧
Okay.
这是什么地方
What is this place?
这是城里最好的波利尼西亚餐厅
It's the best Polynesian restaurant in town.
他们的椰汁虾好吃得难以置信
They've got a coconut shrimp that will just blow your mind.
碧娜美人你好吗
Mama Bitna... ni hao ma?
亨利
Oh, ooh-la-la, Henry.
你好你好
Yeah, hello, ni hao.
艾比这位是美女碧娜她是老板
Abby, this is Mama Bitna. She's the owner.
很高兴见到你
Nice to meet you.
我也很高兴见到你
Nice to meet you too.
我很喜欢你的餐厅
I love your place.
你可得抓牢他
You hold on to this one.
亨利可是上电视的大人物
Henry's big face on TV.
碧娜美女也是我的公♥关♥
Mama Bitna is also my publicist.
你是怎么知道这个地方的
How did you find this place?
有一次我给Jay-Z看病他得了
I was treating Jay-Z once. He had --
等等我要先猜一下
Wait, I need to guess for what.
百日咳
Whooping cough.
-你怎么猜到的 -我是天才
- How did you -- - I'm a genius.
一猜即中
First guess.
真好吃
That's great.
-真不错 -这太棒了
- Hey, nice. - Yeah! It's amazing.
日出造得不错老天爷
Good job, God.
我同意
I second that.
我有阵子没为了医疗以外的事熬通宵了
It's been a while since I've pulled a non-medical all-nighter.
-是吗 -你很好相处
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah. You're pretty easy to be with.
你也是
You too.
-谢谢 -不客气
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
有点大