闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S02E06

Part 4 April 6, 2021, 10:12 a.m.

I can assure you there is nothing here to promote.
你又是谁萨尔曼·鲁西迪[印度裔英国作家]吗
And who are you, Salman Rushdie?
连他都知道去约帕德玛[印度裔美国演员主持人]
Even he had the sense to hook up with Padma.
听着等你们两个结束了恋人之间的小口角
Look, when you guys are done having your little lovers' tiff
或者不管唱的是哪出戏
or whatever it is you've got going on here,
等结束了记得给我发短♥信♥
then why don't you just text me,
我们好用这个来卖♥♥书好吧
and we can sell some books, okay?
拜拜
Meh.
她刚刚说的是"拜拜"还是"冰♥毒♥"
Did she just say "Meh" or "Meth"?
她的话还真是说不准
Uh, you really never know with her.
听着抱歉让你经历了这么尴尬的场面
Look, I'm sorry we just got off on such a weird foot.
我们能不能翻过这一页就做朋友呢
Can we... just skip to being friends?
我不认为男人和女人可以做朋友
I don't think men and women can be friends.
我觉得那只是一个幌子而已
I think it's always a lie.
你刚刚是引用了《当哈利遇到莎莉》的台词吗
Did you just quote "When Harry Met Sally"?
我爱死那部电影了
I love that movie.
艾比我没法和你做朋友
Abby, I can't be friends with you
因为我想跟你做♥爱♥
because I want to have sex with you.
但你现在好像有点分身乏术所以
But it seems you have a lot going on, so--
我还真没有
I really don't.
不好意思等我一下
I'm sorry, one second.
来了条短♥信♥
Got a text.
发件人: 杰克
快他妈来救命
前夫在家出了点状况抱歉
Ex emergency at home. Sorry.
我好吧
I--okay.
也许我确实是分身乏术好吧
So maybe I do have a lot--okay.
杰克怎么了
Jake, what is it?
[听不清]
那也是着装要求的一部分吗
That part of the dress code?
他们竟然还给那些有漂亮妻子的人颁奖
Oh, they give away awards for having a trophy wife.
快看那个
Look at that.
这是洛杉矶最古老的俱乐部了
This is the oldest club in LA.
所有一流的网球运动员都会来这里
All the classic tennis players came here.
-是吗 -潘乔·冈萨雷斯亚瑟·阿什
- Yeah? - Pancho Gonzales, Arthur Ashe,
在女更衣室里还有一张很棒的
and there's an awesome picture
克里斯·埃弗特的照片
of Chrissie Evert in the ladies' room.
米娅你是怎么知道这么名字的
Mija, how do you know these names?
算了我就多余问
Forget it, why am I asking?
-她什么都知道 -异口同声会触霉头
- She knows everything. - Jinx.
你准备好经历点疼痛了吗
Are you ready to bring the pain?
-是的 -很好
- Yes. - Good.
有人临时取消了所以你中彩了
I have a cancellation, so you win the lottery.
有额外的时间来辅♥导♥我最爱的新学生了
Bonus time for my favorite new student.
大家一会儿见了
I'll see you guys later.
但她还没吃午饭呢
Yeah, but she hasn't eaten lunch.
没关系的
Oh, that's all right.
我一会儿点些鸡柳送到网球场去
I'll send some chicken fingers down to the court.
记得点两份
Make that two orders.
我想在我能听到他声音的地方围观
I want to watch where I can hear.
他的口音简直绝了
His accent kills me.
我觉得我爱上了这位兄弟
I think I have bro crush.
或者说是爱上了他的球技[很烂的谐音梗]
Or a pro crush.
好了尴尬的场面都多到数不过来了
Okay, too many layers of weird to count,
但我必须要说我的宝贝看起来
but I gotta say my baby does look kind of--
她穿着你给她买♥♥的网球裙还是有点美的
kind of fab in that tennis dress you got her.
谢谢你
Thank you.
非常感谢
Thank you so much.
看看这些老掉牙的菜单
Look at these old-school menus.
谁会想到他们在洛杉矶还卖♥♥烤金枪鱼三明治
Who knew they served tuna melts in LA,
洛杉矶可是世界上消费甘蓝最多的地方
the kale capital of the world?
他们真的会在烤肉上面撒猪油哦
They literally spray the grill with lard.
-真的吗 -这可没有Rize的健康食品
- Yeah? - No healthy Rize treats here.
那家面包房♥可真是个好地方
Oh, that bakery is such a gem.
你知道吗我想跟你分享好多好主意
You know, I have all these big ideas I'd just love
看看如何才能把它们都充分地实现
to share with you on how to realize its full potential.
你这么想真的很体贴
Um, that-- that's really thoughtful,
但我不需要帮助
but I don't need help.
可是那么做会多么有趣啊
Oh, but it would be so much fun,
罗伯特现在已经是面包房♥的半个主人了了
and Robert is presently a co-owner of the bakery.
事实上弗朗普金斯从来没在乎过那地方
Actually, Frumpkis never gave a crap about the place.
一直以来都是我个人的兴趣
It's always been my thing.
自从我在那个
Yeah, ever since I found Scott
布鲁克林农贸市场发现斯考特之后
at that Brooklyn farmers' market.
乔面包店是罗伯特出资的
Jo, it was Robert's money that funded the bakery.
根据加州法律这意味着我们有它一半的所有权
In the State of California, that makes it...half ours.
我们还是不要谈这些不愉快的话题了
But this kind of talk is so unpleasant.
直接点菜吧
We should just order.
我来告诉你什么才是真正不愉快的话题
I'll tell you what's really unpleasant.
如果你再不远离我的宝贝们
What I'm gonna do to you
我就不客气了
if you don't keep away from my babies...
面包店和我的孩子
the bakery, and my kid.
他们都是属于我的
Mine, yeah.
这作品真是挑逗性十足
Now this is some provocative work, huh?
下一个是谁的
Who's next?
吉尔跟大家分享一下
Jill, please share next.
我选择了一幅我的背面画像
I chose to draw myself from behind
因为作为有色人种
because as a person of color,
我对臀部文化特别感兴趣
I have an issue with booty culture: booty calls,
约炮色情说唱商品化的黑人女性屁♥股♥
booty rap, the commodification of the black woman's ass.
正在将"Anaconda"从播放列表中删除
Deleting "Anaconda" from my playlist right now.
「麻辣鸡的一首歌♥」
菲比这是一幅时尚摄像的拼贴画
Phoebe, this is a collage of fashion photography.
而我布置的作业是完成一幅自画像
The assignment was to conduct a self-examination.
你这话让我想起了妇科检查
It sounded very gynecological.
这就是一幅自画像
It is a self-examination.
这些都来自于我在不同杂♥志♥上的照片
Those are all images of me from different magazines.
所以你是职业模特
Oh, you're a professional model?
我曾经是那种感觉就像破碎的自画像
I was, yes, and it gives you a very fragmented self-image,
人们看着你就好像你根本不存在
the way people look at you like you aren't even there,
评价着你的脸蛋和身体
criticizing your face and your body
就好像那些都是不属于你的
like it doesn't even belong to you.
你是想把自己包装成受害者让大家买♥♥账吗
Are you trying to sell yourself as the victim here?
难道你不应该为这些负主要责任吗
I mean, aren't you more the perpetrator?
怎么能怪我呢
I'm not a perpetrator.
事实上我刚刚推掉了一个摄影
In fact, I just walked off a shoot
因为我觉得他们应该更加真实地表现女性
because I feel like they need to present women as real.
省省吧
Come on.
你从来没打过肉毒杆菌
You never had Botox?
这跟我说的没有任何关系
That has nothing to do with anything.
我一直都被当做物品看待
I've been objectified my whole life.
我实在没法理解整容的人
I just don't understand how you can be a feminist
怎么能做一个女权主义者
and a plastic person.
好了不要人身攻击
Okay, people, let's not make things personal.
另外你们的讨论已经跑题了
Besides, that is a whole other lecture.
我们继续下一个内奥米
Moving on to...Naomi.
来谈谈你的作品
Tell me about your piece.
我用了彩色的记号♥笔
Well, I used the colored Sharpies
来着重展示我大腿上的妊娠纹...
to highlight the stretch marks on my thighs...
他们法国有离婚一说吗
Do they even have divorce in France?
还是找一个情妇然后假装视而不见
Or do they just get a mistress and look the other way,
或者是给女士们找一些情郎
or Mister-ess for the ladies?
我一直都讨厌"情人"这个词
I've always hated the word "Lover," Right?
不好意思我要和家人视频通话
Sorry, I have a FaceTime call with my family.
失陪一下
Excuse me.
好了
Okay, so...
-妈妈来了 -你们好
- Okay, here comes Mom. - Hi, guys.
-妈妈 -妈妈
- Hi, Mom. - Hi, Mom.
我和爸爸想把大家召集到一起
Um, Daddy and I wanted to get the whole family together
因为我们有一些事情要宣布
because we have some news.
我们一直都说
You know how we always say that family
家庭就是由一群相亲相爱的人们构成的
is just a bunch of people that love each other?
我们就要迎来新的...