闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S02E05

Part 5 April 6, 2021, 10:12 a.m.

And don't even get me started with her bringing the CNN dude
-勾搭上了这个CNN的家伙 -是啊
- two seconds after her divorce is finalized. - I know.
这是艾比的特点
Here's the thing about Abby.
每当她压力大的时候
Every time she's stressed,
她就会表现出一副"一切都好"的样子
she turns on the whole "Everything's fine" front.
我的天
Oh, my God.
这是我的主题曲
This is my theme.
有人在吗
Hello?
你们好啊
Hello.
你来了
Oh, you made it.
你终于到了
You're here.
你不得不赞扬那位姑娘
Okay, you got to give that girl credit
因为她在推特上已经掀起了一场风暴
cause she has been tweeting up a storm.
-我们的读者都在讨论艾比 -好吧
- Our readers are all over Abby. - Yeah.
为什么是她在写稿子
And why is she writing the piece?
我想看到你的故事
I wanted to read your story.
我们都一致认可她是这方面的老手
Oh, we agreed she's the pro.
没错但是我就喜欢稚嫩的你
Yeah, but I like that you're not a pro.
你新颖聪明并且与众不同
You know, you're fresh and smart and unique.
所以你希望我来写稿不让艾比参与其中
So you offering me the piece had nothing to do with Abby?
是的就是这个意思
No, not at all.
她的工作就是参加舞会
Her job is to go to a prom.
参加舞会也算是工作吗
Not a job, going to a prom.
-我觉得挺有意思的 -得了吧伙计
- Sounds fun to me. - Oh, come on, man.
如果不是和你这个醉鬼在一起我早就走了
If I weren't here with your drunk ass, I'd have gone.
我在我的毕业舞会上可是有过很多精彩的回忆
I had a great time at my prom.
-如果你明白我的意思的话 -你上了哪个姑娘
- I did, if you know what I mean. - Ooh, you got laid?
没有我已经到了"三垒半"了
No, I got to third base and a half
但是凯伦把我挡在了"三十码线"
with Karen marks on the 30-yard line,
所以我应该把它叫做一次不完整的体验
and actually, I should probably call it an incomplete
因为我最后是用我自己的...
cause I actually ended up just coming in my--
明白了细节你就别说这么多了
Got it. Yep, yep, got it, Captain overshare.
-打住打住 -抱歉
- Got it. Got it, yeah. - Sorry. Okay. Okay. Sorry.
我当年和兄弟们打算在毕业舞会上弄个恶作剧
Yeah, my buddies and I had a prank planned for our prom,
但是这个计划被我们的体育老师破坏了
except we were foiled by our gym teacher.
真是混♥蛋♥ 是什么恶作剧
Bastard. What was the prank?
一群鸭子
Let's just say ducks.
声明一下我通常不会露这么多胸
FYI, I don't normally show this much tit,
但我今晚的男伴是马上要成为我前夫的重婚犯
but my bigamist soon-to-be-ex husband is my date tonight,
并且他还曾经是黄♥片♥上瘾者
and he's a former porn addict,
我只想用我的乳♥沟♥扇他的脸
and I just want to slam him with my cleave in the face,
这是一种比喻你明白我的意思吧
metaphorically speaking, you know?
没发现有什么比喻
Not real metaphoric,
倒是发现了不少信息
and that was a lot of information.
好吧不好意思
It was. I'm sorry.
我的天你太性感了
Oh, my God, you are so hot!
听好了
All right, I'm calling it!
她会在晚上十点成为舞会皇后
She will be a prom queen by 10:00
然后在十一点就被人把肚子搞大
and knocked up by 11:00!
我的天我的天
Oh, no! No!
你们好
Hello.
艾比
Abby.
这是哪个年代的服装
What decade is that?
就是现在这个年代
Oh, uh, this one.
你的狄格洛小圆片去哪了
What happened to dayglo sequins?
因为哈里斯要来
Oh, uh, you know, since Harris is coming,
我就想
I started to think that,
这是我们第一次在公共场合亮相
um, this will be our first big public event together,
我们可能会被拍很多张照片所以...
and we'll probably be photographed a lot, so...
抱歉抱歉工作实在是太忙了
Sorry, sorry. Work was really busy.
我的天每个人看上去都棒极了
Oh, my god, everyone looks amazing.
天哪你简直太性感了
Oh, my God, you look so hot.
好的我们都到齐了
Okay, we're all here.
-可以来舞会前的自♥拍♥了 -好的
- Pre-prom selfie. - Oh, yeah.
-准备好了吗 -来吧
- Yes? - Okay.
-好的快来 -来了
- Okay, get in. Get in. Get in. - Yes.
所有人倒数三个数一起说"闪亮舞会之夜"
Everyone, on the count of three, say, "Prom night rocks."
闪亮舞会之夜
Prom night rocks!
我希望你尽可能地多拍一些姑娘们的照片
So I want you to get as many shots of these dresses as you can.
这里有一个长得像黛比·吉布森的女孩你要...
There is some Debbie Gibson look-alike in here that you
我好像看到她了过来跟着我
Oh, I think I saw her. Come here. Follow me.
我想给网站拍一张你和马里奥·洛佩兹的合影
Oh, I want to get a photo of you with Mario Lopez for the site.
艾比跳舞的时间到了
Abs, dance break!
快来舞池现在需要你
Hey, she's needed on the dance floor stat.
我现在还去不了但是我马上就来我保证
I--I can't right now, but I'm coming, I promise.
来吧来一起跳舞吧来跳吧来跳吧
Come on. Please come dance. Come dance. Come dance.
-来吧 -我在工作呢菲比我在工作呢
- Please! - I'm work--Phoebe, I'm working.
他来了快我们上
Oh, there he is. Ba-ba-ba-ba-bap. Here we go.
乔这裙子太棒了
Jo, that dress, va-voom.
我只是想要找点乐子
The girls just want to have a little fun, hmm?
-来喝了它 -不了
- Drink, come on. - No.
如果我想要给你下毒你早就已经死了
If I wanted to poison you, you'd be dead by now.
-这是潘趣酒 -我已经不喝这些了
- It's spiked punch. - I don't drink much anymore.
沙琳说酒精会排斥液体
Charlene says that alcohol is liquid avoidance,
而且它还有大量糖分
and it's full of sugar.
我的老天弗朗普金斯
Oh, Jesus. H. Frumpkis, come on.
我不会告诉你的老板沙琳的
I'm not gonna tell your boss, Charlene.
她不是我的老板
She's not my boss.
好的让我们忘记那些烂事今晚找点乐子好吗
Okay, let's forget our crap and have a little fun tonight, huh?
来吧
Come on. Shall we?
跟我来
Follow me.
你的专栏简直就跟人生一样艾比
Your column is life, Abby.
我的天太感谢你了
Oh, my God, thank you so much.
抱歉失陪一下
Sorry, excuse me just one second.
酒局喝不完了
可能赶不上舞会了
玩得开心
哈里斯刚给我发了短♥信♥ 他来不了了
Harris just texted! He's not coming!
真遗憾艾比这太让人失望了
Oh, sorry. That sucks, Abby.
现在我要发泄一下
Now I have to go spin this.
海胆
Sea urchins?
白种人真是什么都吃啊
White people will eat anything.
克拉克·肯特[超人]
Hey, Clark Kent!
我不是花钱来让你找你的露易丝·莱恩的
I'm not paying to find your Lois Lane!
快去拍照片
Take a picture!
去按快门去
Get to clicking!
我的老天你真是太棒了
Oh, my God, you are so awesome.
多谢夸奖
Oh, well, thanks.
你愿意做我的人生导师吗
Will you be my life coach?
没问题
Oh, absolutely.
第一课我要告诉你的是
Uh, first life lesson:
-不要崇拜任何人 -完全同意
- Don't idolize anyone. - Totally.
谁让伊恩·齐林进来的
Who let Ian Ziering in?
我一会儿就回来
I'll be right back.
好的
Okay.
你还好吗你好像情绪有点低落
Hey, are you okay? You seem a little off.
你懂的和戈登之间的关系有些
Yeah, you know, things are just, like,
紧张但是...
a little tense with Gordon, but it's--
弗朗普金斯正在喝第二杯鸡尾酒
Frumpkis is on his second cocktail.
我跟你保证他马上就会变成老样子
This is gonna be a cinch. He'll be the old Frumpkis in no time.
-玩得还好吗 -是的这真是
- Still having fun? - Yeah, it's really--
真是令人兴奋
It's really exciting.
拍这里拍这里
Right here, right here.
这里简直成了艾比·麦卡锡秀不是吗
Well, this has certainly become the Abby Mccarthy show, hasn't it?
猜猜谁偷拿了一瓶香槟
Guess who stole some champagne.
-好吧不是只有我这么想吧 -不
- Okay, it's not just me, right? - No.
不 SheShe的艾比简直"招"透了
No, SheShe Abby freakin' shucks.
-是糟透了 -你知道吗
- Sucks. - You know what?
如果她真的这么想要这场毕业舞会的话
If she wants the prom so bad,
就让给她好了
she can have it.
我跟我的姐♥妹♥们♥在一起很开心
I am so happy right here with my girls.
姐妹万岁为这个我要喝一口
Amen, sister. I'll drink to that.