闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S02E06

Part 1 April 6, 2021, 10:12 a.m.

《闺蜜离婚指南》前情提要
Previously on "Girlfriends Guide to Divorce"...
杰克昨天扔给了我一个重磅炸♥弹♥
Jake dropped a huge bomb on me yesterday.
贝卡怀孕了
Becca is pregnant.
天呐
Oh, my God.
-我差点和我老板亲热起来 -什么
- I almost made out with my boss. - What?
-弗朗普金斯 -乔
- Frumpkis? - Hey, Jo.
你♥他♥妈♥是谁
Who the hell are you,
你把我那个肥猪前任怎么了
and what have you done with my fat, dirtbag ex?
我买♥♥了一座房♥子我们要搬来这里了
I closed on a house. We're moving here.
我想住得离佐伊更近一些我和沙琳
I want to be closer to Zooey-- me and Charlene.
先从我尸体上踏过去吧
Over my dead body!
-我想搬去跟爸爸住 -什么
- I want to move in with Dad. - What?
我很尊重你
I respect you,
我很看重我们的职业关系
and I value our professional relationship--
哈里斯刚放了我鸽子
Harris just stood me up.
你跟那个医生只约会了两次
You went on two dates with the doctor.
你今晚没有来
You didn't show up tonight.
我做错什么了吗
Did I do something wrong?
回去吧艾比
Go home, Abby.
当心第二次机会
第25条
莉莉能接下电♥话♥吗
Lilly, could you get that please?
-莉莉 -好
- Lilly? - Okay.
妈
Hey, Mom.
亲爱的那边怎么样了
Hey, honey. How's it going over there?
她心情不太好
Yeah, she's cranky
她不太想跟弟弟一起出门
that she has to hang out with her little brother.
这本该是爸爸离开前跟我的独处时间
This is supposed to be my time with dad before he goes away.
我们本该干点有趣的事就我俩
We were supposed to do something fun--just us.
我知道但我必须来纽约参加这活动
I know, but I have to go to this event in New York
借此推销我的书
to sell my book.
你都还没写
You didn't even write it yet.
ABC就是用来宣传书的地方
The ABC is where you go to promote your book
书商会决定
so that the booksellers
是否喜欢是否愿意推售
can decide if they like it and want to sell it.
好了这不是重点
Okay, you know what? Not the point.
他是你弟弟莉莉
He's your brother, Lilly,
而且也就两天别抱怨了
and it's only for two days, so nut up.
我有话跟你♥爸♥说
I need to talk to your dad.
爸
Dad.
抱歉把所有事情都交给了你
Sorry to leave you with all that.
得了吧你才没呢
Please, you are so not.
免费去纽约六小时的飞机
Free trip to New York, six hours on a plane,
商务舱拜托
business class, come on.
被识破了
Busted.
跟镇定剂和热巧克力曲奇相伴的六小时
I was so looking forward to six hours with a Xanax
我真期待已久但我似乎有点健忘
and a warm chocolate chip cookie, but I think I spaced
TMZ知道我们孩子的事了
TMZ 娱乐新闻网站
我好像把药放在查理的包里了
and I think I put my pills in my Charlie's bag.
-天哪 -所以我才打电♥话♥
- Oh, my God. - That's why I called.
孩子的新闻要上热门了
你得去把它拿出来
You have to get it out of there.
-该死 -药都有儿童安全盖
- Oh, shit. - They have a childproof cap--
杰克你在听吗
Hello? Jake, are you there?
惨了孩子们还不知道
杰克
Hello? Jake?
我拿出来了
Yeah, I got 'em.
天脑子里太多事了
God, there's too much in my brain.
你能快速地说一分钟话吗
Um, can you--can you talk for a minute real quick?
不我得挂了抱歉能到时候再说吗
Oh, no, I have to jump. Sorry, can it wait?
莉莉别踢了
Lilly, stop it.
-查理莉莉 -怎么了
- Charlie, Lilly! - What?
-杰克 -一切都好
- Jake? - Yeah, everything's fine.
好
Okay.
-旅途愉快 -好的
- Have a great trip. - Okay.
别弄了莉莉
Stop it! Lilly!
我的卡车
My truck!
闺蜜离婚指南
第二季第六集
我还以为这里是汗蒸房♥
I thought this was a sweat lodge.
不那些太低效了
Oh, no, those are so inefficient.
这样集中的红外加热
With this intensive infrared heat,
会使你的身体排毒燃烧卡路里
you will experience detox, calorie burn,
还能调节情绪
and emotional health.
我更喜欢用波多黎各法燃烧卡路里
I prefer to burn calories the Puerto Rican way,
也就是多吼几个人
by screaming at people.
-乔就试试热疗吧 -为什么
- Jo, give heat a chance. - Why?
为什么我们就不能在室温里装装婊
Why can't we just bitch at room temperature?
因为你需要缓解压力
Because you need to de-stress.
你经历了很多我也是
You've been going through a lot. Me too.
我这周开始要去圣玛丽了
I'm starting SMC this week.
-看看你女大学生 -你上什么课
- Look at you, college girl. - What are you taking?
性别大讲堂女性研究
Gender Now! Women's studies.
我靠我有的东西慢慢融入再说了
I'm easing into it with something I get, and plus,
我似乎老了其他学生百来岁
I'm like a hundred years older than the rest of the students,
所以我觉得我有优势
so I think I have an advantage.
更加成熟是有好处的
Yeah, you know, being more mature has its up sides.
你就不用加入姐妹会了
You don't have to join a sorority.
-倒立喝酒也免了 -无视她
- Or do keg stands. - Ignore her.
这一学期就尽量别太招摇
Just try to keep it in your pants for one semester.
你是去工作的
You're there to work.
天我听起来怎么这么带偏见
God, why do I sound so judgey?
因为伪君子你在性骚扰你老板
Because, hypocrite, you are sexually harassing your boss.
你跟艾伯特最后怎么样了
Oh, yeah, how was the fallout with Albert?
什么都没有我们都没亲过
So nothing. We never kissed.
我们一起处理精♥子♥的案件走得比较近罢了
It was just 'cause we were working closely on a sperm case.
完全只是工作性致
It was practically work porn.
你告诉戈登了吗
Did you tell Gordon?
说实话我完全没时间跟戈登说话
Honestly, I've had zero time to tell Gordon anything.
我下周要搬去跟他住了
I'm moving into his place next week.
是我的耳朵融了
Okay, either my ears are melting
还是我刚听到你说的是
or I just heard you say "I am rushing things with Gordon
"我在跟戈登匆匆了事
because I almost played hide the pastrami
因为我差点跟小艾伯特玩床上去了"
with little Albert."
乔你可能要冷静一下
Jo, maybe you should just chill out.
待在这烫人的卷饼里我可做不到
I can't in this burning space burrito.
我受够了太蠢了
I've had it. This is ridiculous.
我不干了
I'm over this.
弗朗普金斯的新老婆今天来了面包店
Frumpkis's new wife is coming to the bakery today,
这套"要礼貌对待你的生活搅屎棍"
and this whole "Have a nice attitude toward the person
简直扯淡
who effed up your life" is bullshit.
你必须这么做为了佐伊
You have to, for Zooey.
好了可以结束了吗
Okay, are we done here?
我不想再听人告诉我什么对我好了
Because I'm really over people telling me what is good for me.
-乔我们才刚来 -我的天
- Jo, we just got here. - Oh, my God.
好吧就把我的拔掉吧我不搞了
Okay, just unplug me. Girls...okay, I'm over it.
我来我可以
I've got this. I've got this.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
为了客人打扫一下
Cleaning up for our guests.
是弗朗普金斯和斯嘉丽小婊♥子♥
It's Frumpkis and Scarlett O'Whore-a,
又不是哈里王子和凯特
not Prince Henry and Kate.
只是飞快的打个招呼让佐伊知道
It's just a quick hello to let Zooey know
我们是能共处一室的
that we can all be in the same room together
不至于落得血色婚礼的下场
without it turning into the Red Wedding.
我把刀藏起来
I'll hide the knives.
沙琳这是我妈妈
Charlene, this is my mom.
你让我到这来真是太好了
Oh, can I just say it is truly lovely of you to have me here?
我们在这为了佐伊都当回成年人
It makes sense for us to all be adults here for Zooey.
肯定的但佐伊亲爱的
Absolutely, but Zooey, darling,
你没好好形容这地方啊
you didn't do justice to this place.
这里太可爱了
It's so gritty.
所以你们刚搬到汉考克公园吗
So you guys just moved to Hancock Park, huh?
他们现在能让犹太人进去了吗真不错
They let Jews in there now? That's amazing.