闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S02E08

Part 7 April 6, 2021, 10:13 a.m.

Wow, this has been enlightening. I'm out.
这就完了但我们
So soon? But we--
我不是那种穿着比基尼参加车展的嫩模
I am not a girl in a bikini at a car show.
-净是些胡说八道 -不是吧
- This is bullshit. - Oh, really?
请原谅我试着教你
Well, please forgive me for trying to educate you
你让我教你的那些东西
about exactly what you asked me to.
你说的没错我利用了你
You know what? You're right. I used you.
而你也利用了我现在我不干了
And you used me, and now I'm gone.
你不明白我能教你些什么
You don't even realize what I can teach you.
不你教会了我
No, you taught me that I need to stop confusing
别再把大话和破牛仔当人生经验
big words and bad denim for life experiences,
所以谢谢你
so thank you.
那男的真是个混♥蛋♥
That guy's a jackass.
别把他说的放在心上
Don't take anything he says personally.
我只是我觉得我一直很真实
I just-- I thought I was being authentic,
但似乎我鼓励了已婚女人
you know, but apparently I inspire aprons
抛弃她们的婚姻
about ditching commitment.
我无法忍♥受哈里斯
Me, who can't stand that Harris
不承认他是我的男朋友
won't say he's my boyfriend.
所以他不想结婚
So he's not big on commitment?
是的至少现在是
Not so much, at least not yet.
你们确实还没有相处那么久
Well, it really hasn't been that long.
我知道那也是我想说的
I know. That is what I am trying to say.
就像是我在谈论一场重大♥比♥赛
It's like... I talk a big game,
但整个"离婚也性感"的主题
but the whole sexy-divorce thing?
不是真实的我
It is just not me.
当我看到那人群
I-I saw that crowd,
我妥协了
and I caved.
我是个骗子
I'm a faker.
事情到我这都变成假的
Everything I touch turns to fake.
假的假的假的...
Fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake,
假的假的假的
fake, fake, fake.
你看你甚至都不反驳我
You're not even contradicting me.
他们有什么动静吗
Any sign of them?
我敢说我把他们吓得再也不敢来了
Pretty sure I scared 'em off for good.
你不表扬下我吗
You're not gonna give me any credit?
凭什么
For what?
她昨天一直缠着我
Yesterday she was all over me.
刚开始我果断回绝了她的进攻
At first, I rebuffed her advances,
因为我知道
because I just knew that she was trying
她想利用我来对付你
to turn me against you.
所以我拒绝了
So I declined,
说我只忠心于我亲爱的乔
telling her that my allegiance was with my dear Jo.
这是在演《权利的游戏》呢
Is this "The Game of Thrones"?
-没那么惊心动魄 -好吧
- Less rape-y. - Mm.
我们熟络了后
So, after we closed,
我或许有意无意地说漏了嘴
I may or may not have let slip
说你让我很不爽
that you were annoying me
所以如果莎琳和我联手的话
and that if Charlene and I joined forces,
我们就能把你踢出面包店
we could throw you out of the bakery.
我也貌似不经意地建议她
I also may or may not have suggested
说我们可以亲热下以圆♥满♥我们的关系
that we consummate our relationship with some snogging.
你算计了她
You set her up.
你想说是你这么做是为了我吗
Are you trying to say you did that for me?
可能吧
Perhaps.
也许是
Maybe.
我知道你还有好多事要操心
I could tell you had a lot on your plate.
我总说我并不觉得我的婚姻是失败的
I always say that I don't think of my marriage
即使我们没走到最后
as a failure, even though it ended.
可事实是
But the truth is,
部分的我的确觉得我们很失败
a part of me does think we failed.
我有事情要坦白
And I have a confession to make.
要放下共同的家庭和对方
It has been so hard
一直以来都很难
letting go of our family and each other
那个...
that, uh...
我还在这上班时
Jake and I tried to reconcile
我和杰克试着和解
while I was working here.
过程非常短
It was brief, very.
如果说有那么一瞬间
And if there was a moment...
我们之间还能够挽回
that we could have saved us,
我们也错过了
we missed it.
这好难过我不喜欢
Okay, this is sad. I don't like it.
是很难过我一点都没写到我专栏里
It is, and I don't put any of this into my column,
因为你懂的 "欢乐大笑脸"
because, you know, "Happy face."
但整个故事并不全是欢乐的
But happy is not the whole story.
完整的故事更精彩
The whole story is better.
它有跌宕起伏
It has ups and downs.
我需要控制我所传达的信息
I need to take control of my message.
所以你要抛弃你整个品牌吗
So you're ditching your entire brand?
不我没有要抛弃它
No, I'm not ditching my brand.
我这是在延伸
I'm expanding it.
这不正是我们想要的吗
I mean, isn't that what we want?
不这不是你的事
No, not from you.
你的任务是工作别给我瞎搞
Your thing is working. Don't mess with it.
我不喜欢这东西
I hate this.
其实我觉得这主意不错
Actually, I think it's a good idea.
天啊你也来添乱
Jesus, not you too.
读者心思很难猜到的
Our readers are pretty sophisticated.
他们也许会很欣赏
They'd probably appreciate some self-awareness
自己的生活导师能有点自我意识
from their lifestyle gurus.
好吧还是不行
Yeah, no, you know,
我就当你这是一时恶作剧吧
I've already clicked to a BuzzFeed quiz in my mind.
艾比去写个1000字
So, Abby, I want 1,000 words
写点充满正能量的东西
on something that makes happy thoughts...
周五前给我
by Friday.
要写1000字的废话还马上
1,000 words of bullshit, stat.
别管那专栏了
Forget about the column.
我们可以随便搞点箴言出来
We'll throw together some listicle
"2016年分手大会上的29条体会"
of "29 Things We Learned At SplitCon '16."
-睡着了我们都能做出来 -是啊
- We can do that in our sleep. - Yeah.
谢谢
Thanks.
谢谢你刚才帮我说话
And thanks for what you said in there.
不用担心他
Oh, don't worry about him.
每周慢慢纠正过来
Just slowly course-correct each week,
最终你就能成为
and eventually you'll get
"离异的性感的婚姻支持者"
to "Sexy and Divorced but Pro-Marriage Face."
这我可以的
I can do that.
还是要谢谢你
Thanks again.
我不去和道格那懒鬼约会了
I'm not going on a date with Doug the Deadbeat Hunter.
我前任不付孩子抚养费了
My ex stopped paying child support.
他有的是钱
He's got money.
他只是把钱都挥霍在那新欢身上了
He's just spending it on spoiling his new woman.
你妹妹
Your sister?
我宁愿相信她是领养的不过是的
I choose to think that she's adopted, but, yes.
他知道我付不起律师费和其他费用
He knows I can't afford lawyers and all that.
该死现在我居然连道格都养不起了
Hell, it turns out I can't afford Doug.
你的朋友迪莉娅
You know, your friend Delia
她会把你前任生吞活剥了的而且是无偿的
would eat your ex for breakfast, pro bono.
-我做不到 -我可以
- Oh, I couldn't. - I could.
你要是觉得值得一试的话
If you think it's worth trying.
她干的就是这一行
She lives for this stuff.
-给你关门 -瞧瞧你
- Door. - Look at you.
学得真快
You're learning.
门卫给你的
Doorman had this for you.
可能是结婚礼物
Maybe it's a wedding present.
谢谢
Oh. Thank you.
听着
So, listen...
我会很晚回来我得送我妈去洛杉矶机场
I'm running late. I got to get my mom to LAX.
不过晚点我们可以去下商场
But maybe later we go to Crossroads--
弥补这周都吃的外卖♥♥
make up for all that takeout this weekend?
你让素食听起来也犹如梦幻