闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S02E01

Part 1 April 6, 2021, 10:09 a.m.

她回来了
《闺蜜离婚指南》前情提要
Previously on Girlfriends Guide to Divorce...
我写书的时候是这么认为的
I, believed it all when I wrote it.
但是现在我觉得那都是扯淡
But now I think what a pile of horseshit.
我知道你们在闹离婚
I know you guys are getting a divorce.
我们没有在闹离婚
We're not getting a divorce.
艾比我们是在闹
Abby, yes, we are.
我要让你体验一把年轻男人的厉害
I am gonna give you the younger man experience.
拉尔夫看到他在一个CW台女星的别♥墅♥里
Ralf saw him at the chateau with the CW actress.
他们上♥床♥了
They were getting a room.
乔我以为你晚上到
Jo, I thought you were coming tonight.
我决定别把这大好时光浪费了
Eh, I decided not to lose the day.
她要再开一家素食烘培店
She's opening another vegan bakery.
卡特做我编辑有十五年了
Cat has been my editor for 15 years.
她给你发了XOXO
And she sends you hugs and kisses.
我跟客户发生了关系
I'm sleeping with my client.
我会有很大的麻烦甚至被撤销律师资格
I could get into serious trouble, maybe even disbarred.
那年我14岁科里喂我药
I was 14, and Kori fed me
灌我酒来让我放松
pills and drinks to loosen me up.
我们这周就会签字
We are signing this week.
我们自驾去下加州吧
Let's drive down to Baja.
因为我还没放下你你也没有放下我
I'm not over you, and you're not over me either.
-所有人都知道 -够了停
- Everybody knows it! - Enough! Stop!
我们要离婚了
We are getting a divorce.
结案
Case closed.
我丈夫是一个多配偶的
My husband is a polygamist
肯德基爷爷跟他的妻子沙琳
Colonel Sanders living in Kentucky
住在肯塔基州
with his equestrian wife.
我只想看看他为了什么离开了我们
I just need to see what he left us for.
什么
What?
科里民事起诉了我
Kori is pressing civil charges.
当准迪莉娅·比奇夫人感觉如何
How does it feel to be almost Mrs. Delia Beech?
最终还是你
Ultimately, it's you,
和你爱的人一场赌博
it's the one you love, and a gamble.
我月经没来
So I was late.
我怀了你的孩子
I'm having your baby.
别离装逼屌♥丝
第58条
艾比·麦卡锡
Abby McCarthy!
我真是佩服你到五体投地
I bow down to you.
看来是这样
Well, yes, you do.
我以为是卡特来...
I thought Cat was gonna--
我叫凯瑟琳·米勒
I'm Katherine Miller.
朋友们也叫我凯特是凯不是卡
My friends call me Kat but with a K.
我是卡特的上司
I'm Cat's boss.
-你是凯瑟琳 -没错
- Katherine? - Yes.
天哪你好
Oh, my God, hi.
谢谢你抽时间见我
Thank you for taking the time.
我一般不干这种事
Well, I don't, usually.
但卡特有点...
But Cat's having a little...
糟心的私事要办冰♥毒♥
messy kind of personal issue--meth.
冰♥毒♥ 天哪
Meth? Oh, my God.
不别担心
No, no, no, no worries.
她已经进了贝蒂怀特戒毒所了
She's been at the Betty White Center.
-正戒着呢 -那里叫贝蒂福特吧
- She's doing fine. - Betty Ford?
对她看起来年轻了15岁
Oh, yeah, she looks 15 years younger.
真让我大吃一惊
I'm thinking, "Whoa."
完胜肉毒杆菌啊
Botox got nothing on recovery.
谢谢你来见我
Well, thank you so much for meeting me.
当然了
Oh, no, of course.
等等乔斯
Oh, wait, Joss?
乔斯·惠登
Joss Whedon.
乔斯·惠登乔斯·惠登
Joss Whedon. Joss Whedon.
这位是艾比这是乔斯
Meet Abby. Abby, Joss.
-很高兴见到你 -我也是
- Hey, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
乔斯是《星球大战》的作者
Joss wrote "Star Wars."
-不是 -他才不是
- No. - No, he didn't.
但我写了百老汇《汉密尔顿》的剧本
I did write "Hamilton" though. Broadway.
没错《汉密尔顿》抱歉
That's it, "Hamilton." I'm sorry.
-没错就是那部 -你才没有
- That's it. He did. - You did not.
说对了本可以写出来的
No, I could have.
我是你真实作品的粉丝
Well, I am a fan of the work you actually do.
谢谢我也是你的粉丝
Thank you, yours too.
-是吗 -我很熟悉
- Well-- - I'm familiar,
其实你根本看不上我的作品
which you're not so much with my work at all.
我知道书呆子们都喜欢你的书
I know you're a very big deal with the nerds.
-是啊 -真的很高兴见到你
- Yeah. - It was really nice to meet you.
能溜赶紧溜祝你早日写出《星球大战》
Get out while you can. Good luck with "Star Wars."
我听说那会大热
I hear it's gonna be really huge.
祝我好运吧
Knock wood.
愿原力与你同在
May the force be with you.
他讨厌钱吗
What, he hates money?
我可不...别管他了
I don't--oh, forget him.
我们来谈谈你
Look, let's talk about you.
我想谈谈你
I want to talk about you.
你怎么还没离婚
Why aren't you divorced yet?
那篇文章依旧点击量爆棚
That piece is still getting so many hits.
所以SheShe才求我带你来
This is why SheShe begged me to get you here.
网站求你
The website? They begged?
海伦你得见见海伦
Helen, Helen-- you got to meet her.
不还不行不行
No, not yet, not yet, not--not--not--
抱歉
Oh, sorry.
你得给她留下好印象
No, she's someone you need to impress.
她是SheShe的创始人
She's SheShe founder,
-互联网大佬 -好
- basically owns the internet. - Okay.
-准备好了吗 -好了
- Okay, you ready? - Mm-hmm.
-好了转身 -好
- Okay, turn around. - Okay, okay.
-哪个是她 -黑黄相间的那个
- Which one? - Black and yellow.
海伦
Hey, Helen, hi.
猜我给你准备了什么
提示：是我的大雕
但愿你穿着橙色裤子
哈哈再也不会了
不...等等...
天哪
Oh, my God.
谁让你这么高兴啊
So, who has you all hot and bothered?
你好凯尔
Oh, Kyle, hi.
陌陌上的男人
My--My Hinge guy,
单身的好处就是可以约炮
you know, being single.
有时我用火种有时用遇见
So sometimes I Tinder, sometimes I Bumble,
还有个软件叫"偶"
sometimes I Happn.
没有"遇"字
It has no E.
看来是真的了
So, it's official.
所有人都爱你
Everyone's in love with you.
SheShe希望你能来聊聊
SheShe wants you to come in and talk about
你加入之后要做些什么
what you would do if you came on board.
那真是... 什么时候
I'm--wow, that's-- I mean, when?
这周末如何
End of the week?
你好啊美人
Hello, beautiful.
你好啊
Hi, how are you?
-派对怎么样 -跟做梦一样
- How was the party? - Surreal.
斯汀和他老婆想当我的新闺蜜
Sting and his wife want to be my new besties.
你知道这个网站吗
Do you know this site?
SheShe想开个新的离婚栏目
SheShe wants to start a new divorce page.
我爱死SheShe了
I love SheShe.
-真的吗 -她们的影响力超大
- Really? - Yeah, they're real influencers.
太好了我告诉她们我知道这个网站
Great, I mean, I told them that I knew the site,
不过我也就知道而已
but I actually just know of the site.
很像GOOP网要是GOOP没那么
It's very GOOP, you know, if GOOP wasn't so...
又拽又爱搞特权
Smug and privileged?
没错它涵盖了时事新闻
Exactly, it covers current affairs,
产品介绍还有生活窍门
and product reviews, and life hacks
专为忙碌女孩准备的
for busy gals, you know, like,
比如说剪短头发早上可省事不少
hacking off your hair-- cut back on morning routine.