闺蜜离婚指南（2014）
Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce
第三季
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闺蜜离婚指南（2014）
Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S03E01
Part 1
April 5, 2021, 5:35 p.m.
《闺蜜离婚指南》前情提要
Previously on "Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce"...
我觉得是时候控制我要传达的信息了
I just think it's time to take control of my message.
所以你要抛弃你整个品牌吗
So you're ditching your entire brand?
不 我没有要抛弃它
No, I'm not ditching my brand.
我这是在延伸
I'm expanding it.
你知道SheShe付出多少时间和金钱
Do you have any idea how much time and money
把你塑造为一个性感 幽默的离婚女人
SheShe spend building you as the sexy, fun face of divorce?
若是不能与君同生
I can't live in a world
这整个世界便失去了颜色
that doesn't have both of us in it.
这是我听过最甜蜜的话
That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.
我们结婚啦
We got married
昨天在法♥院♥办的
at the courthouse yesterday.
我收到一个信封 里面的照片
I received an envelope with photos.
是你跟艾伯特吗
You and Albert?
你要装作是个完美体面的新娘
You are gonna pretend to be a perfectly respectable bride.
上帝保佑我 我爱上你了
God help me, I am in love with you.
你疯了 知道吗
You're insane, you know that?
我娶了这个女人
I married that woman.
但是 不 不行 乔 我必须要说
But no, no, no, Jo. I need to say this.
-好吧 -没有人能够守住
- Okay. - Nothing can live up to this.
看看你儿子吧
Want to meet your son?
你真好看
Oh, you're beautiful.
你能带他一会儿吗
Can you take him for a little bit?
-不行 贝卡 -就去公园或者魔法山
- No, Becca. - Just to the park or Magic Mountain.
贝卡
Becca.
爸爸 她不在这儿
She's not here, Dad.
她走了
She's gone.
第43条 上帝开了一扇门 冷风才能吹进来
让我们回到艾比·麦卡锡的话题上来
So we're back with Abby McCarthy,
她是全国最畅销的作品
the author of the nationwide best seller,
《妙享人生之道》的作者
"The Art of Artful Living."
天哪 我必须得说
Oh, my gosh, I got to say,
我爱爱爱死这本书了 艾比
I love, love, love this book, Abby.
太谢谢你了 我觉得
Thank you so much. I just thought, you know,
如果人们都能花时间去
if people would just take the time
美化简单的东西
to beautify the simple things--
比如厕纸架之类的吗
You mean, like, a toilet paper holder or something like that?
对 没错 就像厕纸架这种
Yeah, exactly, like their toilet paper holder.
这能让大家的生活更丰富多彩
It would just make their lives all that much richer.
-我♥干♥过这种事 你记得吗 -好奇葩
- I did that, remember? - It was weird.
我的厕纸架像胡子一样
I made mine look like a mustache.
-大家都在议论这个 -我还用管道胶带
- Everyone was talking about it. - I used duct tape.
也很有美感
It was a thing of beauty.
不过你以前不是写那种更严肃的东西的吗
But didn't you used to write about just more serious things,
比如孩子啊感情啊什么的
like your kids and relationships and that sort of thing?
没错 很久以前写过
Yeah, I did, a long time ago.
-那你为什么现在不写了呢 -听起来就像是
- Why'd you quit doing that? - That sounds like
一个完全不同的"艾比·麦卡锡" 凯西 你说呢
a different "Abby McCarthy," Kath,doesn't it?
-没错 -是的 是有些区别
- It does. - Yeah, it was a little bit different.
讲真 你应该改个名字 因为那个艾比
Really, you should change your name because that woman,
把自己的前途和生活搞得乱七八糟
whew, she made a colossal mess of her career, her life.
你还记得吧 就是她
Do you remember? Wait, that was the woman.
离了婚
Her marriage fell apart, and she was the one
还被捉到跟男妓上♥床♥
who got busted with that male hooker, sleeping with that guy.
她是有苦衷的
Well, she had reasons to sleep with him.
能有什么苦衷啊
What could the reasons have been?
她也许是讨厌讲信用了
Maybe she hated credibility.
她也可能是跟钱过不去
Yeah, maybe she doesn't like money.
那她怎么付账
How's she gonna pay her bills?
-钱 -男妓
- Money. - Hooker.
-工作 -账单
- Career. - Bills.
管道胶带 工作
Duct tape. Career.
-账单 -管道胶带 男妓
- Bills. - Duct tape. Hooker.
王室成员们怎么样了 他们
So what about the royals? Aren't they--
小乔治多可爱呀
I mean, how cute is that little George?
我可喜欢他了
I love him, I love him.
最好玩的就是
Here's the great thing about him.
你会想抓住小乔治的小脚丫
Little George, you just want to grab his feet and go--
然后捏捏
Feet, feet.
-然后就是他的小短腿 -没错
- And then the little thighs. - I know.
-还有夏洛特 -我可喜欢
- And Charlotte. - I love--
她就是一个小可爱
She had a boo-boo on her.
你看起来需要咖啡提提神
You look like you need some coffee.
是啊 不 不是 我已经喝了很多了
Yeah. I mean, no. I've had a lot, but I dropped the kids off,
我想说把他扔到消防站之前
and I just thought I would stop by here
在这儿停一下
before I took this baby to the firehouse.
-消防站 -我做不来啊
- The firehouse? - I can't do this.
昨晚我眼睛大概只合了十分钟
I maybe got to close my eyes for ten minutes last night,
又联♥系♥不上贝卡
and I can't get in touch with Becca,
也就是这孩子的亲妈
who's this baby's, you know, actual parent.
-她已经失踪好几天了 -是啊 四天了
- She's been missing for days. - Yeah, four days.
所以我把这孩子的东西都打包好了
So I gathered up all the baby stuff,
准备今天把它送到弃婴安全岛去
and I'm gonna take him over to safe surrender today.
-不行 -我要把他交给消防员
- No. - Yeah, I'm gonna give him to a fireman.
消防员都神通广大
Firemen are so capable.
不行 -艾比 我要不经意地
No. - Abby, I'm gonna leave this baby
把这个孩子丢在滚烫的车里
in a hot car by accident,
或者喂他吃点什么物件
or I'm gonna feed him solids.
你看看我 我今天有个很重要的会议
I mean, look at me. I have a huge meeting today.
结果我看起来却像是刚跟一个孩子
I look like I've been in Vegas with a baby
还有约翰尼·德普在拉斯维加斯玩了三天似的
and Johnny Depp for three days.
约翰尼·德普 美国演员
行了 把孩子给我吧 把孩子给我
Ok, give me the baby. Give me the baby.
-你确定 -你刚从拉脱维亚回来
- Are you sure? - You just got back from Latvia.
-是啊 -你需要睡会儿
- Yes. - You need some sleep.
也许还需要喝点茶
And you need to have maybe some tea,
不是喝咖啡 然后再刮刮胡子
not coffee and maybe a shave
可能还要吃颗安定药 还是吃三颗吧
and maybe a Valium or three.
行行 不过你不用工作吗 你确定吗
Okay. I mean, don't you have to work? Are you sure?
我要啊 我的待办事项已非我能控制的了
I do. My to-do list is getting out of hand,
不过我还要等电♥话♥通知
but I am still waiting for the call to find out
看几点去面对SheShe的裁决
when I face the SheShe tribunal.
好吧 等一下
All right. Wait. Hold on one second.
以防万一 我把婴儿用品都带来了
I brought the stuff, though, just in case.
你确定哦 你可以带这个孩子吗
You sure? You can, yeah, take the baby?
可以吗 快速上手
Yeah? You know, I mean, just do a quick load.
-一步到位 -没问题
- One load. - No, no, no problem.
-我知道了 -你确定吗
- I got it, I got it. - You sure?
你需要睡会儿
Listen, you need to get some sleep,
而我呢 就需要
and I need some sweet,
泰雅·迪格斯的小可爱儿子
Taye Diggs-flavored baby head in my life.
-好的 -放心把孩子放我这座安全岛上吧
- Okay. Okay, okay. - Safe surrender to me.
我们全喝光了啊
Did we finish that whole case?
就当作是酒中蜜月呗
Consider it a liquid honeymoon.
-说到蜜月 -别别
- Speaking of honeymoon. - No, no.
-我们还有时间吗 -没有
- Do we have time? - Mm-mm, no.
拉尔夫和孩子们马上就到了
Ralf is gonna be here any minute with the kids.
-需要帮忙吗 -你没事吧
- Need some help? - You okay?
我只是很生自己的气
I'm just so mad at myself,
现在这个死了 就像我的心一样
and now this is frozen, like my heart.
别这样 亲爱的 别这样
No, sweetie. No.
我还是不要烦你的好
Let me just get out of your hair.
-没有 没有 -孩子们马上就到了
- No, no, no. - The kids are gonna be here soon.
留下来吧 这里地方足够容纳我们所有人
Stay. There's plenty of room for all of us.
不行 你们应该要有你们自己的空间
No, you guys should have your space.
毕竟 这是你告诉孩子们以来
I mean, this is the first time you've been together,
你们第一次一起不是吗
right, since you told them?
你真的结婚了
You got real married.
但是 好吧
But, yeah.
不像迪莉娅阿姨
Unlike Aunt Delia,
给所有的人丢脸了
who made a mockery of the whole institution.
闺蜜离婚指南（2014）
Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce
剧集 | 闺蜜离婚指南（2014） | 导航列表