闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S02E03

Part 4 April 6, 2021, 10:10 a.m.

Now? What's so important?
很麻烦是警方的事
It's crazy. It's a legal 911.
一个争夺抚养权的案子
It's a custody battle.
当孩子牵涉其中这就
When children are involved, it's--
明早处理也来得及吧你得吃点东西
Well, surely it could wait until the morning. You have to eat.
不用了抱歉这事不能拖
No, I'm sorry. It can't.
我不常被人拍照
I'm not used to having my picture taken.
他们的焦点一定是你
You must be the draw.
很可能是我公♥司♥花钱雇他们来的
Oh, not unless my work paid them to be here, which is entirely possible.
晚上好医生
Evening, doc.
-克里斯汀 -麦卡锡小姐你好
- Christian. - Ms. Mccarthy.
哈里斯告诉我他在等一个特别的人
Harris told me to expect someone special.
-谢谢 -你们的桌子我已经收拾好了
- Thank you. - I've got your table waiting.
这可真漂亮
This place is beautiful.
事实上我们不在这进餐
Actually, we're not eating in here.
再次感谢你救了我妈
Thanks again for helping out with my mom.
她恢复得很好
She's, uh, she's doing great.
她恢复得不错吗太好了
She's doing great? That's good.
这家伙
This guy.
没人能诊断出我妈得的是什么病
My mom was sick, couldn't get a diagnosis.
他大概在十分钟之内就确诊了
He figured it out in, like, ten minutes.
只是发几条短♥信♥的事
Well, it was a few text messages.
老兄我要奉上让你终生难忘的一餐
I'm gonna make you the meal of your lives, dude.
请在主厨的桌子落座并尽情享受吧
Sit and enjoy the chef's table.
谢了
Thanks.
我们要在这用餐
We're eating here.
你和我想的完全不同
You are not what I expected at all.
-你以为我是什么样的人 -我也不知道
- What did you expect? - I don't know.
你就像乔·汉姆一样性感
You're sexy like Jon Hamm,
你靠救人为生还上了电视家喻户晓
and you heal people for a living, nationally on television.
-你显然是个傻瓜 -确实如此
- Obviously you're a jerk. - Obviously.
还是个性别歧视者
And a sexist.
我不该帮你扶门的
I shouldn't have held the door for you.
这样才更像是不是
That was it, wasn't it?
网上都说我是个黑寡妇
Well, whatever on the internet, I am the black widow.
我希望我的丈夫死掉那事
You know I wanted my husband dead?
是啊听说了
Yeah, I heard about that.
网上说我是个花♥花♥公♥子♥
Well, according to the internet, I'm a womanizer.
我也听说了不做评价
I heard about that too. No judge.
我确实有一阵子挺放荡的
Yeah, well, I was kind of a slut for a while.
就在我的婚姻破裂之后那段时期
I mean, after the marriage was over with.
但我做好了安全措施我是医生
But a safe slut. I'm a doctor.
没有人想让他们的精♥液♥到处胡乱散播恩泽
Yeah. Well, no one wants their sperm running around town willy nilly.
什...什么意思
What--what's that?
抱歉没什么我前夫的烂事
Sorry, nothing. It's ex-husband stuff.
听着你非常
Listen, you're very, um,
你一点都不做作是吧
You don't edit much at all, do you?
因为就像希望你别介意
'cause, like, I hope you don't mind my saying,
-但你很出色 -谢谢
- but you're stunning. - Thank you.
一个和我年龄相仿的女人没有
It is such a relief for me to meet a woman my age
装成25岁的样子真是让我松一口气
who's not trying to look like she's 25.
那肯定行不通不是么
Well, that's a losing battle, isn't it?
在这很难实现
I mean, it can be hard here.
人们把衰老当作无法抗拒的疾病
People view aging as a preventable disease.
正是
Ugh, they do.
有些病人会说"我做错了什么
There's some patients, they say, "What am I doing wrong?
我脸上有了细纹"
I just have lines in my face."
-是吧 -对
- Right? - Right.
人们应该庆幸自己还健全地活着
You should get credit for being alive and functional.
没错
Absolutely.
我很欣赏你虽然这是场假约会
Look, I like you, and I know this is a fake date,
但我觉得我应该说明一下
but I feel like I should explain what the--
也许只是对你而言是假的
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Fake for you maybe.
对我而言这就是一次约会
This is a real date for me.
-真的吗 -是啊
- Yeah? - Yeah.
你知道我要把这些故事写出来的吧
You do know that I'm... I am writing?
你写我读我是你作品的忠实拥趸
You're writing, and I'm reading what you're writing.
所以放手去写吧
So write whatever you want.
不过最好别把我的小鸡鸡写进去
Well, maybe not about my micropenis.
开玩笑的其实它有茄子那么大
No, I'm kidding. It's like an eggplant.
我真的很想认识你
I just really want to get to know you,
所以多和我讲讲你的事情吧
so please give me all you have.
当当当
Knock knock.
晚餐怎么了吗
What happened at dinner?
我得赶在自己失控之前离开那儿
I had to get out of there before I lost it.
戈登的妈妈一直滔滔不绝地谈论伊朗的东西
Gordon's mom wanted to talk about all things Persian.
-她肯定有块小地毯 -她有两块
- Tell me she has a rug. - She has two!
更别提她在那吃到的
And forget about the amazing pistachios
超好吃的开心果
she had while she was there.
她是想要跟你更亲切真贴心
She's trying to connect. That's sweet.
那她怎么不和我聊聊法学院的事呢
Yeah, well, why doesn't she ask me about law school?
还有我的马诺洛鞋子真是受够了
And my Manolos, for crying out loud.
你和她说过这些吗
Did you tell her that?
起初我也很讨厌我岳父岳母
I hated my in-laws at first.
他们固执己见又太过招摇
They were too pushy, too loud,
但我父母过世后他们救我于危难之中
but after my parents died, they saved my bacon.
而他们保持着犹太洁食习惯
And they're kosher.
-别抱成见 -我没有
- Keep an open mind. - Oh, I am.
我完事先走了
I am done here.
我还没
Not me.
我得待久点掩盖我自己编织的谎言
I got to stay long enough to support my web of lies.
孩子
Hey, kid.
结婚是为了组建家庭
Getting married is about family.
人们因此而结婚
That's why people do it.
-你知道吧 -我知道
- You know that, right? - I know.
好
Okay.
-晚安 -晚安
- Good night. - Good night.
好吧你先说
Okay, you go first.
好
Okay,
结婚十年离了五次
married ten years, divorced for five.
真不太提起这事
We don't really talk that much.
没有小孩你呢
No kids. And you?
结婚十七年
I was married 17 years.
两个小孩离了
Two kids. Divorced.
也不算真正离了但签了离婚协议
Well, not quite divorced yet, but paperworked.
疯狂的是签完协议我们之间有了好转
Crazy part is paperwork done, we turned a corner,
然后我们的相处
and we're getting along, like,
大有进展然后到今天
a lot, and then today,
我发现
I find out
他搞大了他前女友的肚子
that he knocked up his ex-girlfriend.
目前状况是这样
So that's happening.
有了个小孩
A baby.
他和这位非常年轻的女士的小孩
His baby with this very young woman
那位他不再继续交往的女士而且
who he's not even dating anymore, and--
-这挺难的 -太疯狂了
- That's rough. - It's crazy.
-我知道 -这就是生活吧
- Yeah, I know. - I mean, that is life. Right?
你必须学会逆来顺受
I mean, you just have to roll with the punches.
-是的 -你必须学会他妈的逆来顺受
- Right. - You just have to roll with the sucker punches.
天哪
Oh, my God.
天哪
Oh, my God.
-非常抱歉 -不用抱歉没关系
- I'm so sorry. - No, no. It's okay.
对不起我马上回来
Excuse me. I'll be right back.
不好意思非常抱歉
Sorry. I'm so sorry.
没关系人之常情
No, it's okay. It happens.
不对我来说不是
No, not to me it doesn't.
我第一次那样
That was a first.
我本来挺好的
I was fine,
然后我在那突然就情绪失控了所以
and then my feelings just sat down on the table, so--
要吃点巧克力蛋奶酥缓和一下情绪吗
Listen, would said feelings care for a chocolate soufflé?
你觉得呢
What do you say?
不了我还是直接回家吧