闺蜜离婚指南（2014）

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce S02E01

Part 2 April 6, 2021, 10:09 a.m.

看起来还是很漂亮
It's still looking fabulous, by the way.
-谢谢 -我知道了
- Thank you. - Okay, I get it.
这周我要跟他们的编辑团队开个会
I'm having a meeting with their editorial team this week,
而且很明显如果我能搞定的话
and apparently, I can be the new face
我就是离婚代言人了
of divorce if I nail it.
我的天不你们不是吧
Oh, my God, no, you didn't!
是的就是这样
Yes, we did.
迪莉娅这可是个大新闻
Delia, that's huge news.
我知道太疯狂了
I know. It's crazy.
-这戒指也够大的 -什么 -什么
- And that is huge. - What? - What?
-迪莉娅要结婚了 -结婚就是坟墓
- Delia's getting hitched. - Marriage is dead.
迪莉娅居然要结婚了
Delia is getting married?
我去这会写在婚前协议里的对吧
Wow, holy shit, that'll be one hell of a prenup, right?
我们要见戈登现在马上
Okay, we have to meet Gordon. Now.
闺蜜大考验吗
The girlfriends test? Oh, dear.
别担心我们会对他很温柔的
Don't worry, we'll go easy on him.
查查直肠病报告静电计
Proctology report, you know, e-meter,
还有背景
background check.
是什么让你改主意的
Okay, what made you change your mind?
他要结婚我要他
He wants it, and I want him.
谁说婚姻不是靠慢慢磨合的
So who says that marriage has to be one size fits all?
我们会好好打磨的
We'll make it suit us.
独♥立♥的居所节制的交往这是我的梦想
Separate houses, limited contact, that is my dream.
你看起来很幸福
You look happy.
你知道婚事什么时候办吗
What is it--like, do you know when this is gonna happen?
在哪儿办我们能帮上什么吗
Do you have any idea where? How can we help?
不我不知道而且我已经觉得没劲了
No, no, and I don't know, and I'm already bored.
我想知道的是
What I want to know is
离婚派对之后你去了哪里
where you went off to after the divorce party.
-就是 -别白费心思了我试过了
- Yeah. - Oh, don't bother, I tried.
-杰克跟我谈了谈 -彼此又有更多话聊了
- Jake and I just talked. - More to say to each other?
用下半身吗
What, with your privates?
-我的天下半身 -我们没用下半身聊
- Oh, my God, privates? - We did not talk with our privates.
她的阴♥道♥
Her vagina.
不我没用
No, I was not talking with--
-什么不 -那可是最糟糕的话
- What are--no. - That's the worst word.
我没用阴♥道♥聊天
I was not talking with my vagina.
我们能回到手头更重要的话题上来吗
Can we please get back to the more important topic at hand,
迪莉娅的婚礼
which is Delia's wedding?
我赌两毛钱冰雕被高估了
My two cents is ice sculptures are totally overrated.
如果你想雕冰雕在黄油里雕能更持久
If you're gonna sculpt, do it in butter. It lasts longer.
你要去哪儿
Where you off to?
我要回面包店了
I got to get back to the bakery.
我的糕点大厨本该到了
My pastry chef was supposed to be here,
但是最后他只能坐大巴
but he ended up taking the bus.
这周我们有家店要在那儿开业
We have a shop opening here in a week,
但这人居然害怕坐飞机
and the guy gets a fear of flying.
如果他不是素食糕点界的达·芬奇
I swear, if he wasn't the da Vinci of the Vegan Twinkie,
我早就把他甩了他就是个疯子
I would cut him loose. He is such a whack job.
总之恭喜恭喜
Anyway, congrats.
所以乔才是感情生意双丰收的那个
So Jo's the stable one in that business relationship?
-我就坐等结婚蛋糕了 -那是当然
- I would wait to order the wedding cake. - Definitely.
-不是吧 -怎么了
- Oh, no. - What?
这周是职业体验日
It's career day this week.
是的祖玛的爸爸做了"复仇者"
Uh, yep. Zuma's father made "The Avengers,"
Zara的妈妈加入了黑眼豆豆
and Zara's mom is in The Black Eyed Peas.
-叫Zara 真的假的 -真的
- Zara, really? - Yeah.
"这是我儿子 Topshop Topshop 这是Zara"
"This is my son, Topshop. Topshop, meet Zara."
你为什么不笑多好笑啊
Why aren't you laughing? That was funny.
没什么我只是刚得到
Oh, no, I just got a stupid--
一个超蠢的园艺工作机会
well, a huge stupid gardening offer.
是费城一家很好的老牌歌♥剧院的地
The grounds of a great, old opera house in Philly.
太棒了
That's amazing.
费城挺好的
The Philly part...
女士优先
Yeah. Oh, here, after you.
抱歉你现在不能进来
I'm so sorry, but you can't come in right now.
是保护温格女士的禁制令
There's a restraining order to protect Ms. Wingo.
-太荒谬了 -你在开玩笑吗
- That's ridiculous. - Are you kidding?
我来接我孩子
I'm just picking up my kids.
温格女士一走你就可以进来了
As soon as Ms. Wingo leaves, you can come inside.
格斯你认识我的
You know me, Gus.
我不是什么危险人物这...
I'm not dangerous. This is cra--
别别再闹一场了
No, now, let's not have another scene.
我去把孩子接出来
Here, I'll-- I'll get the kids.
她就是个臭婊♥子♥ 菲比
She's an asshole, Pheebs.
弗朗普金斯·沙琳给佐伊订了头等舱
Frumpkis' Charlene booked Zooey's flight first class.
那很好
That's nice.
她还小
Oh, she's tiny.
你把她扔到沙发上
You throw her in coach
给她一罐品客薯片她就高兴死了
with a can of Pringles, she's happy as a clam.
到时候就"妈我的热毛巾呢"
Now it's gonna be, "Where's my hot towel, Ma? Wah."
他们是在用钱收买♥♥我孩子
They're trying to buy my kid.
那让他们改签好了
Ask them to change it.
不行沙琳什么都跟她说了她会崩溃的
Oh, no, no, Charlene told her all about it. She'd be crushed.
难以置信
Unbelievable.
弗朗普金斯把我所有的钱都用来给那婊♥子♥养马
Frumpkis spent all my money on horses for that bitch,
现在倒变她大方了
and it turns out she's loaded.
我更喜欢
I liked it so much better
叫她牙都没长齐的乡巴佬
when we thought she was a toothless hillbilly.
是吧我的天
I know, right? Jesus.
你不知道有剪报软件吗笨女人
You know, there's Pinterest, doll,
你这也太过时了
so, so, so, so 2010.
我在为见SheShe
I'm trying to nail down some visuals
而准备一些视觉资料
for my meeting with SheShe.
用剪报软件
Pinterest.
-我要惊艳他们 -用剪报软件
- I have to wow them. - Pinterest.
-亲爱的 -妈妈
- Sweetie! Hi! - Hi, Mom.
让我过去让我过去我要过去
I got to go, I got to go. Got to go!
我想你
Hi, I missed you.
再见查理
Bye, Charlie.
能出来说两句话吗
Can I talk to you outside for a moment, please?
-好的听起来很严重 -谢谢没错
- Okay, sounds serious. - Thank you, yeah.
我
Um, I ju--
真好
That was good, right?
你觉得你有麻烦了
You thought you were in trouble.
确实有人沦陷了我的天
Wow, somebody's in trouble. Oh, my God.
好了好了孩子们可能会出来
Okay, okay, the kids could come out here.
-我的天 -贝卡打来的
- Oh, my God. - It's Becca?
她打得好频繁
She's calling a lot.
她有前任的第六感
Well, she has that sixth sense
你一旦有了新欢她们就能感应到
that exes get when they know you're moving on.
我车就停在路上
My car's parked down the street.
我们走吧
Let's go.
那辆装逼小跑不要吧
The douche mobile? I don't think so.
-会很好玩的 -不杰克它太小了
- It'll be fun. - No, it's itsy-bitsy, Jake.
你耐心点
You're just gonna have to be patient.
我的天
Oh, God.
橙色裤子我想死你了
Orange pants, how I have missed you.
天呐向我保证我们要经常这样
Oh, God, promise we won't lose this.
随时随地
This spontaneity.
我保证这边
Promised. Come here.
杰克我们在停下
Jake, are we--stop!
等等杰克
Wait, Jake!
不
No!
闺蜜离婚指南
第二季第一集
你用膝盖
You hit the parking brake
撞到了手刹
with your knee.
对我当时只是动了动车太小了对
Yeah, I was just shifting. Small car. Yeah.
你们在爸爸的车里做什么
Why were you guys in Dad's car?
我们需要私密空间进行一场严肃的
We needed a private place to have a very serious--