疯狂前女友（2015）

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S02E12

Part 1 March 26, 2021, 2:48 p.m.

♪ I'm just a girl in love ♪
♪ 我只是浸在爱河中的女孩♪
♪ La-la-la, lovey-dovey ♪
♪ 爱得闪瞎你的狗眼 ♪
♪ I can't be held responsible for my actions ♪
♪ 老娘可不对我的行为负责 ♪
♪ She's an ingenue ♪
♪ 天真无邪少女瑞贝卡 ♪
♪ I have no underlying issues to address ♪
♪ 老娘可没有问题烦恼需解决 ♪
♪ I'm certifiably cute and adorably obsessed ♪
♪ 有够可爱且痴心一片 ♪
♪ They say love makes you crazy ♪
♪ 人们常说爱会使人疯狂 ♪
♪ Therefore, you can't call her crazy ♪
♪ 所以你不能说她疯癫喔 ♪
♪ 'Cause when you call her crazy ♪
♪ 因为当你这样说她 ♪
♪ You're just calling her in love. ♪
♪ 就代表说她浸在爱河 ♪
Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
疯狂前女友前情提要
Does this have something to do with your dad?
这是不是和你父亲有关啊
Oh.
就知道
You know, my dad is a real jerk, too.
其实我父亲也是个王八蛋
I have plans, Naomi.
我有我的计划娜奥米
You're her father. She loves you.
你是她爸爸她爱你
Are we okay? The answer doesn't have to be yes.
那我们之间还好吗你不需要勉强说 "好" 的
Good, because the answer is "eh".
好啊因为我要给你的答案是 "并不好"
Help! We're stuck!
救命呀我们被困住了
Just calm down. I just can't be stuck in here,
你冷静一点行不我不能被困在这里
and I cannot be stuck in here with you.
更不能跟你一起被困在这里啊
I acted crazy and then there-there was
我表现得很疯狂然后我们就...
that rando kiss between us,
诡异的吻下去了
but it's never gonna happen again. Whatever you say.
但我保证不会再重蹈覆辙随便你怎么说吧
I was wondering if I could pay you
我想知道我是否可以给你
an exorbitant amount of money to move your wedding date.
一笔巨款让你改一下结婚日期
When is it? What's the date?
什么时候日期几号♥
It's in two weeks.
就两周后
The wedding is in two weeks.
两周之内结婚
Rebecca. Two-two weeks is insane.
瑞贝卡两周内简直是疯了
Oh. Hi, Patrick.
嗨帕特里克
Okay, what do you think of this one?
你觉得这件裙子怎么样
Now, don't worry about the walking,
没必要担心走路的问题
'cause I can always shorten the train,
因为我缩短了裙裾
or the length of the aisle.
或是婚礼上走道的路程
Um, you know, I think I like the lacy one from Tuesday better.
我觉得礼拜二你穿的那条带花边的更好
Really? The strapless Gone With The Wind thing? Oh, my God.
真的吗那条抹胸蓬蓬裙我的天
I don't know. I wear the same outfit every single day.
我不知道我天天穿工服
Um, aren't you supposed to go to a fancy lady store
你不是该去那些花俏的婚纱店
to buy a wedding dress? Yeah, that's what
买♥♥婚纱的吗对正常情况下
you normally do, but this isn't a normal situation.
确是该去婚纱店但现在时势危急
I'm getting married in less than two weeks, Patrick.
我不到两周见就要结婚了帕特里克
Oh, right, because a spot opened up at the Malibu place.
啊对因为婚礼场地刚好有空档给你们
Exactly.
没错
And that's the only reason that you moved up the wedding?
而这就是你要提早结婚的原因吗
Because from what you told me,
因为听你之前说
it seems like you got locked in an elevator
原因似乎是你和你的好老板
with your fine boss...
同困在电梯中...
No, no. I never called him fine.
不不我从来没说过他 "好"
I may have said he's "foine."
我说的应该是 "豪"
In any case,
不管怎样
suddenly, lickety-split,
不知不觉间
planning the wedding of my dreams.
就在策划我梦寐以求的婚礼了
And I actually tried to hire a wedding planner,
我本来还想请位婚礼策划师
but, you know, you try getting one of those bitches...
但那些贱♥人♥真的...
And I do mean bitches...
没错是贱♥人♥
On board with an 11-day planning window.
叫她们用11天来策划婚礼
They're like, "We can't do that. There's no time for me.
她们就只会说 "咱们做不了" "时间不够"
The-the binders."
"连计划书都没"
Well, maybe ask your mom? I mean,
也许可以请你妈帮忙啊
that seems like the normal thing to do.
正常不都是叫母亲帮忙的吗
Help you with your wedding?
帮你筹备婚礼
Did you help me with my wedding?
你当年有帮我筹备婚礼吗
No, you just sat in my uterus giving me heartburn
没有你只会呆在老娘的子♥宫♥里
and making me look like a big fat pig.
让我看起来像只胖猪
Hold for injectables.
等等我先打支针
But, Mom, your...
不过妈...
Ow! You call that numbing?
这样叫没知觉吗
Rebecca, I can't come early.
瑞贝卡我不能提前来帮你
I'm doing a few little things to my face.
我得整整我的脸
Filling, freezing, lasering,
填充冷冻激光磨皮
and by the end of this day, I'm gonna look like an empanada.
到最后我就会像馅饼一样可口怡人
It's gonna take me at least a week to recover,
我至少得休养一个礼拜
so forget it, don't be ridiculous.
所以算了吧别做傻事了
I'm not being ridiculous, I'm trying to be normal.
我没在做傻事我只想当个普通人
Normal`s mormal. You'll figure it out.
反正你就不正常你终会懂的
Yeah. She's pretty terrible.
嗯她蛮糟糕的
So after that didn't work, I reached out
既然找她没用
to my mother from another mother...
我就找我另一位母亲帮忙了
Paula. Ugh.
宝拉
Ah, look, if it isn't the ingenue beset by tragedy.
看这不就是被情所困的天真无邪小贝卡
Oh. And if it isn't the plotting understudy,
噢你不就是戏剧读不成
just waiting in the wings with a bag of marbles.
就只会在旁边吐糟的桑尼尔嘛
Okay, look. We're busy.
听着我们很忙的
We're studying for finals, so...
咱们正在准备期末考
Hey, Sunil, stop it.
桑尼尔等一下
Hi. Cookie, what's up?
亲爱的有什么事
Hey. I was just wondering if you had any time
我只是想问一下
to help me with a couple of wedding things.
你有没有空帮我筹备婚礼
Yes. Absolutely. No, no, no, no, no, no.
有当然有不不不
Did you not just hear me say we have finals?
你没有听到我讲期末考吗
Paula. You were just telling me
宝拉你刚刚才告诉我
how you've stress-chewed through so many pencils
你压力大到一直咬铅笔
you're gonna have to get adult braces again.
咬到又要带牙套了
You know what? I'm-I'm sorry I came over.
你知道吗很抱歉打扰到你了
I didn't mean to worry you.
我不是想要你费心
The wedding planning is actually almost done.
事实上婚后的事也准备得七七八八了
There's just a couple of cherry-on-the-sundae,
就是差一些点缀
nutmeg-on-the-latte things to get done,
就大功告成了
but finals are way more important.
相比婚礼期末考重要多了
So... I will...
所以... 我...
nutmeg this wedding latte myself.
自己去作最后点缀就好了
So I'm handling it all myself.
所以我只好自己来吧
I mean, unless you want to help.
除非你想帮忙吧
Oh. I would,
我当然想
but I'm the delivery guy, so...
但我只是个送货小哥所以...
Right, right, right.
对对对
Of course. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
当然抱歉对不起
This isn't normal.
这样不太正常
I shouldn't even be touching you like that. Oh, no. That's cool.
我也不应该这样碰你没事没事
You know what? I will handle this alone.
我一力承担就好
I mean, plenty of dum-dums
天下间无数蠢蛋
plan perfectly good weddings all the time.
都能策划出完美的婚礼
Hey, bridey. How's the planning going?
嘿新娘子策划得怎样
Great, great. Hey, oh.
很好很好
Let me show you something; look at this.
我给你看点东西看这个
Check this out.
看看
I already got 50 "yes" RSVPs.
我已经收到50封邀请函回覆 "将会出席"
Four high-target "maybes",
四个说 "可能出席"
and even the "nos" have a little colon-end-parentheses on them.
就连回覆说 "不会出席" 都有在备注里加个笑笑符号♥
Old school smiley faces.
就旧式笑脸
So this wedding is on.
这婚礼要实行啦
Isn't that exciting? Yeah.
是不是很兴奋呢对
Um, your dad didn't RSVP to your wedding?
你♥爸♥还没回覆你的邀请函吗
Oh, no.
没有
Of course not, no. He never shows up for anything.
没有也正常他从来不出席任何活动
I only invite him to feel bad about myself.
我发邀请函给他让自己不会有罪疚感
Yeah. Smart, mmhmm. Yeah. So anyway,
嗯聪明无论如何
people are coming, the wedding is going on
宾客要来婚礼要筹备
and I'm just planning it all myself,
由我自己全权策划