疯狂前女友（2015）

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S02E03

Part 4 March 26, 2021, 2:45 p.m.

It's all sweaty and gray.
那种三明治真是又湿又烂啊
I mean, you got to start
我想说你真的得开始
looking at your food before you eat it.
在吃东西前审视你的食物了
No, okay, Paula, when my mother was pregnant,
不宝拉我妈怀孕的时候
she could not eat egg salad.
她就不能吃鸡蛋沙拉
I mean, just-just the thought of egg salad,
仅仅是想到鸡蛋沙拉
and she would barf everywhere!
她都会吐得一塌糊涂
I-It's on the list of things I ruined for
这是我的出生毁掉的她的事物之一
her, including her career and her vagina.
我还毁了她的事业和她的阴♥道♥
Right, okay, and you don't think it's because
好吧你要吐难道不是因为
they ship those sandwiches in hot trucks from Colorado?
三明治是用热死人的卡车从卡罗拉多送来的
No. No...
不不
No. No, that's not it.
不不不是因为那个
All right, look.
好吧听着
If you think you could be pregnant,
如果你认为你可能怀孕了
then let's just... let's just
那么我们我们还是
go get a test and then you'll know.
验个孕吧你就能确定了
I don't need a test.
我不需要验孕
I know what I feel.
我知道我什么感觉
Paula, don't you see?
宝拉你没发现吗
Wait,
等等
Paula!
宝拉
Don't you see? Don't you see
你没发现你没发现
what's happening here?
发生了什么吗
This baby is a sign.
这个孩子就是征兆啊
The universe got back to me. Thanks, universe!
宇宙回应我了谢了宇宙大帝
Oh, my God, it's like everything was a test,
哦天呐好像是一切都是场考验
and ding, ding, ding,
然后叮叮叮
the baby is the answer! A-plus!
孩子就是答案拿到A+
Yeah, I-I-I'm just... I'm not following you,
是吗我... 没听懂
like, at all.
完全没有
Okay, okay, okay. Paula,
好了好了宝拉
I put my intention out into the universe,
我把我的意愿告诉了宇宙
and now the universe is telling me
现在宇宙回应我了
exactly what I should do. I mean,
告诉我该怎么做我是说
the baby can only be Josh's, ask Ovunation.
这个孩子只是可能是乔希的问问排卵国度吧
It's-it's his! And if I'm having Josh's baby,
这是他的如果我怀了乔希的孩子
it means that Josh and I are meant to be together.
那意味着我和乔希注定应该在一起
I mean, it would crazy to think
要不然就变成了格雷和我
that Greg and I were meant to
注定要抚养乔希的孩子
raise Josh's baby, right?
那也太疯狂了对吧
Oh, honey.
噢亲爱的
I am so worried about you.
我真的很担心你啊
Okay, so I am just gonna
好吧我这就出去
pop out and get you a test, mm-Kay?
给你买♥♥个验孕棒好么
And then we'll just... We'll go from there.
然后... 然后我们看情况再说
Having Josh's baby.
怀上乔希的孩子
Okay. I hear you.
好啊我听见你了
I hear you, universe, loud and clear.
我听见你了宇宙清清楚楚
So what do I do, Guard?
所以我该怎做阿护
Can I call you that? Instead of Guardrail?
我能这么叫你吗而不是护栏
It's just one extra syllable to make it right.
就差一个字啊
Make the effort.
说全了
I hear you. Guardy.
我明白了栏子
Guardrail.
护栏
Listen. My father has literally handed me my dreams
听着我父亲真的把我的梦想送到我面前
on a silver platter...
还用银盘子盛着
that's not quite as expensive...
当然也没那么贵
Like a bronze platter.
应该是个铜盘子
He actually doesn't even own a platter.
他实际上并没有盘子
He once served cheese and crackers to me on a Frisbee.
他某次用飞盘盛奶酪和饼干给我
Point is,
我想说的是
I can't do it.
我做不到
Why?
为什么
'Cause it goes against
因为这样违反了
the "big changes" rule.
大变化的原则
In the book. In our book. In our book.
书上写的我们的规则啊
Those are guidelines.
那只是些指导
There's only one hard and fast rule: don't drink.
只有一个简单粗暴的规则不要喝酒
Look, there's meetings in Atlanta. And for a sponsor,
听着亚特兰大也有互助会至于担♥保♥者
I can set you up with one of the best
我可以安排你和一个最好
retired winos, my friend Barry.
前酒鬼会面我朋友巴里
He didn't get a cool biker name?
他没取个屌♥屌♥的摩托帮名字吗
He's an actuary.
他是个精算师
Be careful about stereotyping, okay?
别老给我们套上刻板印象好么
Greg, I can't tell you what to do,
格雷你不能告诉你做什么
but this sounds like an opportunity
但这听起像是一个
you've been waiting for.
你等待了很久的机会
Maybe that is more important.
也许那的确更重要
Are you sure?
你确定吗
What should I do?
我该怎么做
I can't tell you what to do.
我不能告诉你怎么做
But, seriously...
但说真的
tell me what to do.
告诉我怎么做
Literally just told you I can't.
我刚刚才明确告诉你我不能
You could write it down. Nope.
你可以写下来不
You could send me a text. Stop it.
你可以发短♥信♥我别闹
What if you told those people
要么你告诉那些人
and they told me? What?
然后他们告诉我什么
I'm gonna go.
我要走了
Hi!
嗨
What's going on?
发生什么了
You sent me 17 texts to come over.
你发了17条信息让我过来
I am so happy to see you.
见到你我太兴奋了
Also, it's not coming over, it's coming home, so...
还有不是过来是回家
Whoa, tiger.
哇小老虎
I just feel so close to you right now.
我此刻感觉和你如此亲近
Wow, I'm so glad I came over...
哇我真庆幸我过来了
Uh, home. Yeah, baby.
呃是回家是啊宝贝
Oh, wait. H-Hold on.
哦等等
What? What?
什么怎么
What... w-what is that?
那是什么
Oh, no, no, look at those later.
哦不不等等再看那个
That's for later. What?
那是为了等等什么
Uh...
呃
Prenatal...
孕妇...
vitamins?
维生素
I'm sorry.
我很抱歉
I-I... I didn't want you to find out this way.
我不想你这样发现这事
I was gonna to tell you after we made love.
我想咱俩云雨一番之后再告诉你
What, wait?
什么等等
Are you telling me that you're pregnant?
你是告诉我你怀孕了吗
Okay...
好的
So, Josh, I know this is big, this is really big,
所以乔希我知道这是大事很大的事
but we've been so unsure about what's happening between us.
但我们一直不知道我们之间算是什么
And now destiny has intervened right here.
现在命运在这里插手了
I mean, think about it, I'm on birth control,
想想看我在吃避孕药
you used a condom.
你会用套套
Like, this is basically a miracle.
所以这差不多是个奇迹了
This baby is a sign that we're meant to be a family.
这个孩子就是我们注定要组成家庭的征兆啊
You should sit down.
你应该坐下
You should sit down. Sit down, sit down. This is big.
你应该坐下坐下这消息很重大
Do you need a glass of water?
你要喝水吗
Yeah, this is hard. Listen,
是的这很难
I'm not saying this isn't hard.
我并不是说这很简单
This is gonna be the hardest thing we will ever have to do,
这会是我们一起做的最难的事情
but it's gonna be worth it. You know why?
但也是值得的你知道为什么
Jeronica.
乔若妮卡
What do you think of that name, if it's a girl?
你觉得这名字怎么样如果是女孩的话
Jeronica. It's like the "J" names in your family.
乔若妮卡用你家的乔字辈