疯狂前女友（2015）

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S02E04

Part 4 March 26, 2021, 2:45 p.m.

Oh.
好吧
I am so sorry if I offended.
我很抱歉如果冒犯了你们的话
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That was just...
不不不不不那只是
I am not offended by the word "douche" at all.
我完全没被 "开洗" 这个词冒犯
No.
不会的
At Miss Douche, we are very proud of our products
在灌洗器小姐公♥司♥ 我们为我们的产品
and everything they do for women.
以及它对女性的贡献而骄傲
No, we're honored the women entrust us
我们感到很荣幸女性相信我们
with the care and cleanliness of their special parts.
能够为她们的私处提供呵护和清洁
Personally, I am a fan.
我本人是你们家产品的粉丝啦
I've been using your products for years.
我用你们家产品好几年了
Would you sign my box?
你能给我的盒子[阴♥部♥]签名吗
Her douche box.
她的灌洗器盒
Maybe later. Look, we-we want to reclaim the word "douche."
一会再说我们想为 "灌洗器" 一词正名
We think it could be the cornerstone
我们觉得这可以成为
of female empowerment.
女性权利运动的基石
Empowerment?
权利
Well, yes! We know that our company's image is retro
是啊我们知道我们公♥司♥的形象老旧
and that's why we're re-branding.
因此我们在重塑品牌
We're moving into new market places,
我们要进入新的市场
we're redefining ourselves.
我们要重新定义自我
Hence the new facility in Pomona you're working on.
所以你们在为我们波莫纳的新场所服务
Yeah, new headquarters, new image, new us.
是的新的总部新的形象新的我们
We are starting over.
我们要重新来过
Starting over, yeah.
重新来过没错
Yeah, our name and image
是啊我们的名字和形象
are a liability, we get that, you know.
都是弱点我们知道的
People sometimes laugh,
有些人会笑
they childishly giggle at us.
就知道幼稚地咯咯嘲笑我们
Let alone all the anti-douching research
更不用说那些由大阴♥道♥组织资助的
funded by Big Vagina.
反阴♥道♥灌洗的研究
Nothing worse than Big Vagina.
大阴♥道♥组织最讨厌了
Oh, amen.
绝对的
No, but when I am done with this re-branding,
但是我这些重塑品牌的工作完成后
no one will laugh at me.
谁也不会嘲笑我了
I mean, us... anymore.
我是说嘲笑我们再也不会了
You know, um, you know, re-branding,
那个呃重塑品牌的事
you were talking about that, and I'm so fascinated by that
你刚刚提到的我觉得非常好
from a business perspective. Oh.
从商业角度来说哦
Tell me, how does a person or a business
告诉我一个人或公♥司♥
completely change their entire identity
怎样才能彻底改变他们的身份
so that everyone forgets what they were like before?
以至于大家都忘了他们之前的样子呢
Well, for us,
对我们来说嘛
it starts with a new marketing push.
我们从市场推广活动开始
We're launching a new Miss Douche logo.
我们计划启用新的灌洗器小姐商标
So instead of an illustration, she'll be a real woman,
新的形象不是画出来的而是一位真实的女人
flesh and blood.
有血有肉的女人
Probably should not mention blood when I'm pitching it.
在推广灌洗器的时候大概不应该提到血
Anyway, we're looking for her now.
我们现在在寻找这个女人
How are you doing that?
你们怎么找呢
Oh, it's a grass roots viral campaign.
我们举办了基层海选活动
So, the contestants send their photos
参赛者把她们的照片
to us on Instagram.
用Instagram发给我们
The five with the most likes become the finalists,
点赞数最高的前五个人会进入决赛
and then we pick the winner. Oh, God,
我们从中选出胜者天啊
When the world sees the new Miss Douche
当全世界在广♥告♥牌上
on-on a billboard, a pop-up ad or on TV,
弹出广♥告♥上或电视上看到新任灌洗器小姐时
they're just gonna say, "Wow, look at that new Miss Douche!
人们一定会说哇快看新任灌洗器小姐
She really has her act together."
她真是人生楷模啊
Paula, Paula, can you do all the research
宝拉宝拉你能检索一下
for the permitting for Trina's case?
特里娜一案所需的全部许可吗
I need you to pull blueprints,
我需要你拿到建筑平面图
file motions, set hearings...
提交动议安排听证会
Uh-Uh, I can't do those things.
呃我没法做这些事啊
I'm not a lawyer. Oh, but you basically are.
我不是律师但你差不多已经是了
And you're the only person
而且我只信任你
I would trust to take this over.
能接手这个案子
Listen, I have to recuse myself
听好我必须回避
from the case.
这个案子
I have a conflict of interest.
因为我有利益冲突
What are you talking about?
你在说什么
Paula, I need to become a douche.
宝拉我需要成为灌洗器
Miss Douche!
灌洗器小姐
This Miss Douche case
这个灌洗器小姐的案子
is so complicated.
真是复杂
Look at us, dividing up our domestic duties.
瞧瞧我们家庭任务分工
Are you cooking or doing inventory?
你是在烧饭还是在盘点啊
I'm making bacon-wrapped chicken,
我在做培根包鸡
and, uh... it's hard.
然后呃很难啊
Babe, I see what you're doing here,
亲我明白你在做什么
and I-I really appreciate it.
我真的很感激
You're trying to show me that I can go to law school
你努力想向我证明我可以上法学院
and have a baby, and that our lives can still work.
并生个孩子而且我们的生活还可以井井有条
Exactly. See, I'm crushing it.
没错瞧我真是得心应手啊
Tommy, Brendan, dinner.
汤米布兰登吃饭了
Tommy!
汤米
Tommy! Where the hell is Tommy?
汤米汤米死哪儿去了
I'm gonna count to three, young man.
我数三下你最好出现小屁孩
Don't let me get to three!
别等我数到三啊
One, two...
一二...
Oh, I completely forgot to pick up Tommy. Shoot!
哦我完全忘了接汤米了靠
Uh, Brendan, go get Tommy.
布兰登去接汤米
My license is suspended again.
我驾照又被吊销了
Just go get him.
快去接他啦
Uh, take the back roads.
走背后的小路
So I, uh... I need a little practice in the domestic arts,
我还需要锻炼家务事的技巧
but I'll get there.
不过我很快就会掌握的
Honey, I'm gonna call the law school tomorrow
亲爱的我明天就给法学院打电♥话♥
nd tell them that I can't go.
告诉他们我不能去了
We are overwhelmed on our best day.
咱们最清闲的时候都忙到不可开交
And we cannot add a baby and law school to this.
我们没法再添个孩子还要上法学院了
But you love law, and you're good at it.
可是你热爱法律还很擅长
And you have the perfect name for a lawyer...
你还有个完美的律师名字
Paula Proctor, Esquire.
宝拉·普罗克特律师大人
The only better job would be...
唯一更好的工作只有
Paula Proctor, Doctor. Stop it.
宝拉·普罗克特医生别了
We have made a decision,
我们已经做了决定
and we need to stop talking about it.
就别再纠结了
Now let's eat around some chicken.
现在我们来吃点能吃的鸡肉吧
So, it's a contest
所以这是个比赛
to see who will be the new Miss Douche!
选出新任的灌洗器小姐
Ooh, a contest. Wonderful!
哦比赛啊好棒
I love Miss Douche.
我可喜欢灌洗器小姐了
It's been around since I was a kid. My mother used it!
我还是个小孩的时候就有它了我妈用过
She always smelled like a salad.
她闻起来总像沙拉一样
Exactly! Ew. This whole thing is dumb.
没错恶整个事情就很蠢
The only thing grosser than a douche
比灌洗器更恶心的东西
is an internet contest.
就只有网络竞赛了
Heather, I need to do this, okay? I need to re-brand.
希瑟我需要参赛好吗我需要重塑形象
My 9-1-1 video is up to 10,000 hits,
我的报♥警♥电♥话♥视频已经被播放一万次了
and everyone I've ever met is texting me, saying things
所有见过我的人都在跟我发短♥信♥ 问什么
like, "Are you okay? I saw the video."
你还好吗我看到视频了
I need to change the narrative.
我需要改变人们的印象
If I'm Miss Douche,
如果我是灌洗器小姐
then everyone will know that I'm okay. Everyone.
大家就都会觉得我没事了每个人
Josh and Greg and Audra Levine
乔希格雷奥德拉·莱文
and my mother, my garbage father... everybody!
我妈我的人♥渣♥老爸所有人
So you want everyone to see you as a douche.
所以你想让大家看到你成为灌洗器的样子
Honey, you're not being supportive.
亲爱的你的口气不太支持哦
I'm repeating what she said. Okay,
我只是在重复她的话好