疯狂前女友（2015）
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
第二季
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疯狂前女友（2015）
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S02E03
Part 1
March 26, 2021, 2:45 p.m.
♪ I'm just a girl in love ♪
♪ 我只是浸在爱河中的女孩♪
♪ La-la-la, lovey-dovey ♪
♪ 爱得闪瞎你的狗眼 ♪
♪ I can't be held responsible for my actions ♪
♪ 老娘可不对我的行为负责 ♪
♪ She's an ingenue ♪
♪ 天真无邪少女瑞贝卡 ♪
♪ I have no underlying issues to address ♪
♪ 老娘可没有问题烦恼需解决 ♪
♪ I'm certifiably cute and adorably obsessed ♪
♪ 有够可爱且痴心一片 ♪
♪ They say love makes you crazy ♪
♪ 人们常说爱会使人疯狂 ♪
♪ Therefore, you can't call her crazy ♪
♪ 所以你不能说她疯癫喔 ♪
♪ 'Cause when you call her crazy ♪
♪ 因为当你这样说她 ♪
♪ You're just calling her in love. ♪
♪ 就代表说她浸在爱河 ♪
Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
"疯狂前女友" 前情提要
I was in New York. I ran into Josh.
我本来在纽约 有天我偶遇了乔希
He made me feel warm inside,
他让我感到幸福温暖
like glitter was exploding inside me.
让我浑身在发热发亮一样
Then I moved here.
然后我就搬家到这了
Josh and Rebecca are having sex
乔希和瑞贝卡一直在上♥床♥
and basically living together.
并且基本上算同居了
What?!
什么
I am applying to law school!
我申请了法学院
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes!
好啊 太棒啦
My dreams might actually come true.
我的梦想可能真的会实现
I got a DUI, spent a night in jail,
我酒驾被抓 在监狱里蹲了一夜
turns out I'm an alcoholic.
发现我是酒瘾患者
I've been going to meetings and I'm trying to stay sober.
我一直在参加互助会 努力戒酒保持清醒
That's it. Bingo, bango, done. Beers?
就酱 哔哩吧啦说完了 喝啤酒吗
What's this?
这是什么
Okay, just a simple contract,
只是份简单的合同
laying out the terms of our friendship.
列出我们友谊的各项条款
It stipulates that my services
它规定了我作为朋友
as a friend are limited
提供的服务仅限于
to consultation and support and exclude shenanigans.
咨♥询♥和支持 且排除阴谋诡计
Rebecca, I'm very glad
瑞贝卡 我很高兴
you're welcoming the opportunity
看到你接受了一个
to work on yourself.
可以反省提升自己的机会
The reason I got a DUI
我酒驾的原因
is because I was driving over the next morning
是因为我第二天清晨想要开车去找你
to tell you that I loved you.
告诉你我爱你
Oh, my God. You and Josh...
天哪 你和乔希
you're happy, right?
你们很幸福 对吗
And he treats you well?
他对你好吗
Um... yes.
唔 是的
I deserve to be with someone who treats me well.
我值得和一个好好待我的人在一起
Okay.
好吧
Is that Greg's sweatshirt?
这是格雷的运动衫吗
Mmm, I'm so hungry. I can't wait for that pizza.
饿死我了 我现在就想吃那个披萨
Yeah, me neither. I'm starving.
我也是 我快饿死了
Greg?
格雷
Greg, what are you doing?
格雷 你在干嘛
Yeah, what are you doing, Greg?
是啊 你在搞啥 格雷
Pizza in the bedroom, that's crazy!
卧室里吃披萨 太疯狂了吧
I hope you brought napkins.
我希望你带了餐巾
come here, silly head.
过来呀 小傻瓜
God, this is great.
天呐 这太棒啦
I was so torn between you two.
之前夹在你俩中间我好纠结啊
I mean, Josh, I've loved you since I was 16 years old,
我是说 乔希欧巴 我16岁起就爱上你了
and, Greg, I thought you were too damaged to love me,
格雷欧巴 我以为你以前内心破碎没法爱我
but now that you're in recovery,
但现在你变正常啦
you seem like a really viable alternative.
你似乎也是个不错的人选
It's so great now that I don't have to choose.
我现在不用做出选择 简直太棒啦
Isn't it awesome?
爽爆了吧
Hey, before we dive into the 'za,
嘿 我们去爱爱之前
how about a three-way spoon sesh?
先玩个三人勺勺的体♥位♥怎么样
Great idea! Yay!
好主意 耶
Hey, who gets to have sex with me tonight?
今晚谁能跟我来一炮呢
You guys want to arm-wrestle for it?
要不你们扳手腕决定一下
Sure! Sure!
好啊 好啊
Okay. Kiss time.
好哒 该亲亲了
That's how it works when you have
当你有两个对象的时候
two significant others at the same time.
生活就是这样的
Right?
对吧
I was on BuzzFeed and I saw a
我在Buzzfeed的时候看到了一篇
listicle about polyamory,
多人恋爱的清单体文章
and it described it as
文章把这种关系描述为
the ethical and responsible practice and philosophy
一种多人之爱的富有道德和责任感的
of loving multiple people.
实践和哲学
And it hit me.
我顿时灵光乍现
Josh, Greg and I could be a poly-amorous throuple,
我和乔希 格雷 可以成为三人之爱的情侣
like you guys, since,
就像你们一样 因为
you know, I can't choose between them.
他俩我难以抉择
Um...
呃...
this sort of relationship isn't a default option
这种关系并不是选择困难人群
for someone who can't choose.
的默认选项
And it's definitely not
这种关系也绝对不是
about arm-wrestling for sex.
靠扳手腕来决定性生活的
You know, I thought you were writing an article
我以为你是要给 "今日心理学"
on us for Psychology Today.
写一篇介绍我们的文章
That's what it said on the Craigslist ad.
你在58同城的广♥告♥上就是这么写的
Right, okay, so, don't be mad at me,
好的 别生我气哦
but that was a straight-up lie.
那完全是骗人的
But I still want to buy your TV stand.
但我还是想买♥♥你的电视柜
Wait, w-w-wait, please, please, please,
等等 请等一下
don't go, don't go. Listen...
别走 别走 听我说
I am legitimately torn.
我是真的在纠结啊
What you're describing is a love triangle.
你描述的是三角恋
That's a completely different thing.
这就完全不同了
A love triangle.
三角恋
I guess you're right. That is what I'm in.
我觉得你们说得对 就是这样的
Oh, dear.
天哪
What's a girl to do?
我这样的无辜女孩该怎么办呢
♪ What's a girl to do when she's stuck between men? ♪
♪ 女孩如何在男人之间抉择 ♪
"Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend"
此歌♥恶搞音乐剧 "绅士爱美人" 插曲
这里的画面也有向玛丽莲梦露版的致敬
原曲最为人熟知的版本是玛丽莲梦露的电影版
♪ It's like she's a Barbie with two perfect Kens ♪
♪ 好像是芭比娃娃有两个完美的男友 ♪
♪ But wait, it just occurred to me ♪
♪ 等一下 我突然想起来 ♪
♪ Maybe I can solve this with geometry ♪
♪ 或许我可以用几何学来解决这个问题 ♪
♪ Yes, smarts can help this "sitchywation" untangle ♪
♪ 聪明的脑袋可以让困蓝迎刃而解 ♪
♪ So, professors, teach me ♪
♪ 叫兽们 教教我 ♪
♪ The math of love triangles ♪
♪ 三角恋的数学有什么奥秘 ♪
Yay. Time for book facts.
现在是讲课时间
♪ A triangle is a polygon ♪
♪ 三角形是多边形 ♪
♪ With three edges and three vertices ♪
♪ 它有三个角和三个顶点 ♪
♪ Take the base times the height ♪
♪ 它的面♥积♥等于 ♪
♪ Cut that in half to find the area of the surfaces ♪
♪ 底乘高除以二 ♪
♪ Uh-uh, I wasn't really listening but I can see ♪
♪ 嗯哼 我没怎么听但是我懂啦 ♪
♪ The center of the triangle is lil ol' me ♪
♪ 三角形的中心只有可爱的我 ♪
♪ The math of love triangles ♪
♪ 三角恋的数学原理 ♪
♪ Isn't hard to learn ♪
♪ 简单易学 ♪
♪ You're not taking in what we're saying ♪
♪ 我们说的话你根本没听进去 ♪
♪ We're a little bit concerned ♪
♪ 我们有点担心你 ♪
♪ Yes, the math of love triangles ♪
♪ 是的 三角恋的数学原理 ♪
♪ Is as simple as can be ♪
♪ 特别简单容易 ♪
♪ Whichever Tom or Dick I might pick ♪
♪ 不论张三李四我选了谁 ♪
♪ The center of the triangle is lil ol' me ♪
♪ 三角形的中间只有可爱的我 ♪
♪ Actually, a triangle has multiple centers ♪
♪ 事实上 三角形有很多个中心 ♪
♪ This triangle's scalene ♪
♪ 这是不等边三角形 ♪
♪ That's astute ♪
♪ 真是狡猾 ♪
♪ So I need to decide ♪
♪ 所以我要决定 ♪
♪ Which man's more acute ♪
♪ 哪个男人是锐角/更可爱 ♪
♪ Here's Pythagoras' theorem ♪
♪ 这是勾股定理 ♪
♪ Will this help me choose? ♪
♪ 这能帮我抉择吗 ♪
疯狂前女友（2015）
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
剧集 | 疯狂前女友（2015） | 导航列表