疯狂前女友（2015）

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S02E04

Part 5 March 26, 2021, 2:45 p.m.

so let's see who has the most likes.
我们看看谁收到的点赞最多
Help me scope out the competish.
帮我探清敌情
Okay. So, these are
所以这些是
the girls who have the most likes so far.
目前收到点赞最多的女孩
Okay...
好
And... all right.
然后好吧
Okay, there's that girl...
好有那个姑娘
Mm-hmm. This is not for you.
嗯哼这不适合你
What do you mean? They all look like
你什么意思她们看起来都像
gorgeous mermaids who grew feet and went to Coachella.
美艳的美人鱼长了脚还去了科切拉音乐节
Oh, I could look like that. Sure, if you had
我可以打扮成那样的当然可以啦
five years, a team of professionals
如果你能年轻五岁有一队专业化妆师
and different DNA.
还有一套不同的基因的话
Honey, that's not nice.
亲爱的你可不太厚道
Heather.
希瑟
You are smart, but wrong.
你很聪明但你错了
I can look like that.
我可以打扮成那样的
All I need is one thing.
我只需要做一件事
I need what every girl needs after a breakups.
我需要做每一个女孩在分手后都会做的事情
A makeover!
改头换面
Cue the song!
该唱歌♥了
Oh, you're right!
哦没错
♪ She needs a makeover ♪
♪ 她要改头换面 ♪
♪ A makeover, a makeover ♪
♪ 改头换面改头换面 ♪
Mom, no. Mom. No.
妈别这样
It's something like...
应该像是
No, it's something like, that's what I...
不应该像这样我是这么...
it's kind of something like that, in my head.
我脑子里想到的是这样的歌♥
♪ It's a make... over, makey-makeover ♪
♪ 来改头换面改改头换换面 ♪
♪ It's a makey-makey-makey-makey-makey makeover ♪
♪ 来改改改改改个头换个面 ♪
♪ Old you in the garbage, new you in display case ♪
♪ 旧形象扔一边新形象来展现 ♪
♪ Old you was a diaper, new you is a diamond ♪
♪ 旧形象是臭垃圾新形象是亮钻石 ♪
♪ Makeover, it's a makey-makeover ♪
♪ 改头换面来改改头换换面 ♪
♪ It's a makey-lakey-wakey-fakey-bakey-makeover ♪
♪ 来该该改改头欢还缓换面 ♪
♪ Process ♪
♪ 改变 ♪
♪ Process ♪
♪ 改变 ♪
♪ Reveal, reveal ♪
♪ 展现展现 ♪
♪ Hairs, nailies ♪
♪ 头发指甲 ♪
♪ Sparkle magic horse ♪
♪ 还有亮闪闪的魔术小马 ♪
♪ Makeover, it's a makey-makeover ♪
♪ 改头换面来改改头换换面 ♪
♪ It's a makey-lakey-wakey-fakey-bakey-cakey-rakey-nakey ♪
♪ 来该该改改头欢还缓换... ♪
♪ I had a stroke ♪
♪ 我抽风了 ♪
♪ I had a stroke. ♪
♪ 我抽风了 ♪
Wow.
哇
Look at... you!
瞧瞧你呃
I woke up like this.
我醒来就这样的
So, I didn't really wake up like this,
其实我不是真的醒来就这样的
but don't tell anybody, okay?
但别告诉别人好吗
Okay. Okay. Yeah.
好好的行
Hey.
好啊
Paula, I feel like you're not vibing with my new vibe.
宝拉我觉得你没有为我的新形象高兴
I-It's great.
你挺好的
Okay.
好吧
Oh, my God! Yes! Yes! Yes! I went
哦天啊棒棒棒
so way up in likes! I paid a bunch of bots
我收集到了好多赞啊我买♥♥了一堆机器人
to like my photos... It only cost me five grand...
来给我的照片点赞我只花了五千块钱
And... I'm in the top ten for Miss Douche.
于是现在我在灌洗器小姐的前十名里了
Oh, my God, I'm so close.
哦天啊我离前五很近了
Okay. Honey, I know that you are really sad
好了亲爱的我知道你很难过
that Josh and Greg... dumped you,
因为乔希和格雷都甩了你
and you have done a classic post-breakup makeover...
你做了次经典的分手后改头换面
Paula. You don't understand. So, when I'm Miss Douche,
宝拉你不明白当我成为灌洗器小姐的时候
the entire world is gonna see
整个世界都会看到
how awesome and effortless I now am.
我是多么风华绝代且毫不刻意
I mean, it only takes me two hours to achieve this look.
我是说我只花了两个小时就打扮成这样了
I mean, four if I haven't had coffee.
好吧如果我没嗑咖啡的话要四个小时
Okay, well, this look... is not going to bring
好可是这幅样子也不会
either of them back. I know that.
让他们回心转意我知道
This isn't just about Josh and Greg,
这和乔希和格雷无关
this is about feeling good about myself.
这是为了改善我的自我感觉
I mean, I finally feel, Paula,
我是说宝拉我终于感到
like I've found the true, authentic me.
我找到了真实的原始的自我
"Authentic." Yeah.
原始的是啊
So authentic that you stapled horse hair to your head.
真原始啊你都把马鬃钉到头上了
Okay. You sound real stupid,
好了你说的话很蠢
because it's not staples, it's glue.
因为不是钉上去的是胶粘上去的
And it's not horse hair,
这也不是马鬃
it's dead people hair, so...
是死人的头发所以嘛
Oops. Sorry.
不好意思
I... need some more glue.
我得再加点胶水
Not staples, so...
并不是订书钉哦
B.R.B.
回见喽
Oh. Hey, Josh.
哦好啊乔希
Um... hello, Miss.
呃你好小姐
No! Josh, Josh, it's-it's...
不乔希乔希是
It's me, it's Becks!
是我啊小贝啊
Rebecca?
瑞贝卡吗
You look so...
你看起来很
So...
很...
Look at you! I know,
瞧瞧你的样子啊我知道啊
right? It's-it's great. I'm doing this contest,
很不错吧我参加了个比赛
and did you not see my Instagram pic
你没看到我Instagram上
of my makeover?
改头换面的照片吗
Said, hashtag "alwayshydrate"? I mean,
还加了 #多补水不过
I haven't checked all the likes, there are so many likes.
我还没有看所有的点赞点赞数太多了
So, I couldn't tell if... if you were on there.
所以我也不知道你有没有点赞
Oh. I haven't been online for a while.
哦我有一阵子没上网了
I'm on an internet cleanse. I do it
我目前在戒网
every once in a while. Just... Sometimes,
我过一阵子就戒一下因为有时候
there's crazy stuff online that...
网上有些很疯狂的东西
you know, bums me out, you know what I mean?
让我很不开心你知道吗
Josh, if you're talking about that 9-1-1
乔希如果你是指那通
phone call, and the fire...
报♥警♥电♥话♥ 以及火灾的话
You know, I've been meaning to tell you, I wasn't
其实我一直想告诉你我尖叫的不是
screaming "Josh, Greg, Josh, Greg," that wasn't about you,
"乔希格雷乔希格雷" 跟你们无关
that was about my good friend Josh Greg,
那其实是我的好朋友乔希·格雷
with whom I went to both Harvard and Yale, and he's
我和他一起上的哈佛和耶鲁
in a really bad place, 'cause his cousin just died.
他现在情况很糟因为他表弟死了
What 9-1-1 call?
什么报♥警♥电♥话♥
I was talking about people who post pictures
我指的是某些人发的
of polar bears on melting ice caps.
北极熊站在融冰上的图片
What fire?
什么火灾
Oh, so you didn't hear about...
哦所以你没听说...
D-uh, uh, the... it's-it's... oh, my gosh. It's a...
呃那个哦天啊
it was... no, no, no. It's noth... Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
其实不是没什么事嗯嗯
And... and you're in a contest? Is it a... costume contest?
所以你在参加比赛吗是什么服装比赛吗
Is that why you're wearing that...
所以你才穿了这套
funny costume?
奇装异服吗
Uh, no. It's not a... it's not a costume.
呃不这不是参赛服装
This is... um, this is how I dress now.
这是... 呃我现在就这么穿
This is my new... my look.
这是我的新形象
Rebecca. I'm sorry.
瑞贝卡我很抱歉
No... Whatever you're going through right now,
不不管你现在有什么问题
uh... it'll get better.
你都会好转的
I promise.
我保证
Okay, but it can't get better when it's already the best.
好吧可是不会好转的因为现在就是最好的
Take care, Rebecca.
保重瑞贝卡
Cool. I don't need taking care of, though, so
挺好的虽然我不需要照顾所以
Get up
起来
Get up
起床