疯狂前女友（2015）

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend S02E07

Part 3 March 26, 2021, 2:47 p.m.

Yep. Yep.
对啊就是
Mm-hmm. Yep. Miss him. I miss him.
嗯哼很想他想死她了
I'm sorry, you guys miss Coolio?
你们脑子没坏吧你们想念库里欧
Yeah-huh.
是的
Mmm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
对
Silver Brew?
银色啤酒
What? Nothing.
什么没事
Oh, my God, who is that?
我的天这贱婊♥子♥是谁
What? Oh, nothing. Just...
谁啊没事就是
Always forget which Kardashian is which.
老是分不清卡戴珊姐妹
Oh, okay, describe her for me. Is she the tall one,
我可以给我描述一下那个卡戴珊高吗
the naked one, or the mom one? 'Cause if you're talking
暴露的还是老点的如果你说的是模特身材的
about the model one or the lip one, those are Jenners.
或那个唇妆很美的那都是詹娜家的
Jenners. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jenga.
对詹娜家的是的是的大积木
Jumanji.
勇敢者的游戏
Robin Williams.
罗宾·威廉姆斯
Williams.
威廉姆斯
Mmm. Willy.
嗯威利
Willy Wonka.
还有威利旺卡的巧克力工厂
I want candy...
现在我想吃糖了
Are you both high right now?
你俩是嗑药了吗
Oh, my God! Josh has a girlfriend!
我勒个去乔希有女朋友了
What did you say?
你说什么
What did you say?
你踏马说什么
I knew you guys didn't miss Coolio.
我就知道你俩刚才说的都是屁话
Who is that? II don't know.
这她么谁啊我不知道
Okay, she's tagged as @annathebrowbarian.
她标自己的名字是 @眉毛大♥师♥小安娜
You click it. I can't. You click it,
你快进她主页我不想进去快点快点
Okay, okay, okay,
好好好
click it, click it, click it, click it, click it.
快点快点
okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
知道了知道了
Her name is Anna...
她的名字叫安娜
Hicks.
希克斯
Anna Hicks? No one has that name.
安娜·希克斯谁会叫这个名字
That's like the romantic lead in an Adam Sandler movie.
就像亚当·桑德勒电影里面浪漫的女主角
Guys, don't do this. If you fall down the rabbit hole
大姐你俩可千万别再陷进兔子洞了
of Internetting an ex's current girlfriend,
你们一旦再进去了这可就是个
you may never come back.
没完没了的死循环啊
Shh... Look at her. Shh.
别说话看看她看看
Oh, she's so pretty and cool. Also, she has, like,
她好漂亮啊还酷酷的她有一张
a permanent flower crown filter face. What? How do you get that?
花仙子一样的脸到底怎么整出来的
Oh, my God! I know who she is. I read about her in Us magazine.
我去我知道她是谁了我在杂♥志♥上见过她
She does eyebrows for celebrities.
她为名人做眉毛
Yeah. There's, like, a three-month waiting list at her salon.
她的预约都是三个月起算的
I heard Mary-Kate Olsen had to pretend
我听说奥尔森小妹还要装作
to be Elizabeth Olsen to get in.
她姐姐才能混进去
What?! Okay, I need to see, like,
什么我必须得看看这女的
a billion more pictures of her. Me, too.
千万张其他的照片我也是
No. I mean, you know what they say. Curiosity killed the...
别你们不知道好奇害死...
Cat. Look at her. She has a cat.
猫你看她有只猫
She makes being a cat person look cool.
她把养猫都弄得好酷啊
Exactly. Now I want a cat.
是啊现在我也想要猫了
What is going on?
发生了什么
I don't know. Up is down, and down is up.
我不知道乐极生悲啊
I-I...
我我去
Hey. What are you doing for the next,
嘿你接下来打算做什么
like, 13 hours?
可是有整整十三小时呢
Don't do anything healthy.
不要做那些无聊的事情
Don't be productive.
别再装不在乎了
Give in to your desire.
正视你的欲望吧
♪ Research me obsessively ♪
♪ 疯狂的研究我吧 ♪
♪ Uh-huh ♪
♪ 来吧 ♪
♪ Find out everything you can about me ♪
♪ 在网络上搜寻我的一切信息 ♪
♪ You know you want to dig for me relentlessly ♪
♪ 你知道你只想狠狠地翻我的个资 ♪
♪ Uh-huh ♪
♪ 我知道的 ♪
♪ Using every available search tool ♪
♪ 百度谷歌♥ 微博都用来找寻我 ♪
♪ And all forms of social media ♪
♪ 手♥机♥ 电脑上也都是我的讯息 ♪
Yes.
没错
♪ You know you want to look ♪
♪ 你知道你想来视奸 ♪
♪ At my Instagram ♪
♪ 我的Instagram ♪
♪ But it's private ♪
♪ 不过我设置了好友可见 ♪
♪ So Google me until you find out ♪
♪ 所以你就只能在谷歌♥上搜索我 ♪
♪ Where I went to high school ♪
♪ 甚至在高中的一切信息 ♪
♪ And then set up a fake Instagram account ♪
♪ 接着自作聪明的去申请一个新账号♥ ♪
♪ Using the name and the photo of someone ♪
♪ 用着我高中时认识的 ♪
♪ That went to my high school ♪
♪ 好朋友的名字和照片 ♪
♪ And hope that I remember that person a little bit ♪
♪ 侥幸着我还记得那位高中好友 ♪
Ah. No.
啊失败了
♪ Then request access to my private Instagram ♪
♪ 我账号♥收到的那个好友请求 ♪
♪ From the fake account ♪
♪ 一看就知道是个假账号♥ ♪
♪ And in the meantime scour my work Instagram account ♪
♪ 没有办法只好去视奸我的工作账号♥ ♪
♪ 'Cause that one's public ♪
♪ 全为那是公开帐户 ♪
♪ Research me obsessively ♪
♪ 痴迷的搜寻我吧 ♪
♪ Uh-huh ♪
♪ 来吧 ♪
♪ Find an actual picture of my parents' house on Google Maps ♪
♪ 还用谷歌♥地图搜到了我父母的住处 ♪
♪ You know you want to hunt for me tirelessly ♪
♪ 你知道你竭尽全力也想要找到我 ♪
♪ Uh-huh ♪
♪ 是的 ♪
♪ It's not stalking 'cause the information ♪
♪ 也不算跟踪啦 ♪
♪ Is all technically public ♪
♪ 因为网络就是公开的 ♪
That's true, that's true. Very true.
这句话很对非常正确
♪ Check out every guy I used to date ♪
♪ 搜索到我交往过的每一任男友 ♪
♪ And deduce who broke up with who ♪
♪ 还费尽心思的要从微表情上猜出 ♪
♪ Based on the hesitation in our smiles ♪
♪ 到底是谁甩了谁 ♪
So many unanswered questions.
你们的小脑袋能想明白吗
Did I go to the University of Texas?
我是在德州大学上的学吗
Am I an EMT?
我考过急救员吗
Is that my obituary in which I'm survived
那是我为和我有50年婚龄的
by my loving husband, Eddie, of 50 years;
丈夫艾迪写的讣告吗
children, Susan and Matthew;
我是有两个叫苏珊和马修的孩子吗
and grandchild, Stephanie?
还有我的曾孙女史蒂芬妮
Wait, no. That's just all people with my same name.
等下不对那只是个和我重名的人
Oh. Or is it?
原来如此真是这回事吗
Pay only $9.99 on a background check Web site to know for sure.
你可以用九点九美元在侦探网上搜索我哦
I'll do it. Yeah. Yeah.
就这么干了我加入
♪ So don't stop, just research me obsessively ♪
♪ 痴迷地搜寻我吧不要停 ♪
♪ Uh-huh, and in lieu of flowers ♪
♪ 就这样在送花网站上 ♪
♪ Donate to other me's favorite charity ♪
♪ 捐给我最喜欢的慈善机构 ♪
♪ Research me, just research me ♪
♪ 搜寻我吧尽管搜寻 ♪
♪ And research me and research me ♪
♪ 搜寻我吧尽管搜寻♪
♪ Oops！ ♪
♪ 一不小心 ♪
♪ It's three days later. ♪
♪ 你就搜了整整三天 ♪
None of this makes any sense. Not at all.
不可能不可能没可能
There's no way Josh could land someone that cool.
乔希怎么可能把到这样的女神的
You guys are still here?
你俩还在纠结这事儿呢
You've been here for three days.
你们都搜了整整三天了
Well, it would've been a lot less time if someone
如果当初那个家伙不让我建小号♥看她的话
had stopped me from creating a fake Instagram account.
不也就没那么多事了
I told you that's illegal, and I cannot go to jail right now.
我都说了这是犯法的我现在可不能进监狱
I am one stamp away
我再收集一个酸奶店的印♥章♥
on my frozen yogurt punch card from scoring a freebie, so...
我就能换免费酸奶
What could she possibly see in Josh Chan?
她到底看上乔希哪点了
I-I have literally no idea
我真是一点头绪都没有
what he has to offer to someone like this. Right?
他有什么可以吸引到这种女神的
You both dated him.
你俩可都是跟他在一起过
Yeah. But we're mortals. Yeah.
是啊不过我们是普通人啊是啊
And she's like a-a fairy angel.
她可是个仙女
Yeah. I mean, really,
我说真的
what could she see in a guy
她到底是看上了一个男人的什么
from West Covina who still wears stitchy jeans?
一个西柯维纳市的穷小伙穿着破牛仔裤
And supermarket flip-flops.
超♥市♥买♥♥来的人字拖