小谢尔顿

Young Sheldon S05E22

Part 2 May 20, 2022, 8:20 p.m.

没有
No.
试试过氧化苯甲酰药房♥就能买♥♥
Try benzoyl peroxide. It's over the counter.
糟糕
Oh, no, not...
是过氧化苯甲酰
benzoyl peroxide.
我要融化啦
I'm melting!
我要融化啦
I'm melting!
可省省吧
Give me a break.
但长青春痘是进入青春期的表现
But a pimple is a sign of puberty, and I'm
但我并没出现其他特征比如长胸毛或腋毛
showing no other indicators. No armpit or chest hair,
我对异性的兴趣也还是几乎没有
and I have so little interest in the opposite sex,
我甚至都没怎么注意到你是女性
I barely noticed you're a woman.
谢谢啊
Thank you.
你怎么这个点回家了
What are you doing home?
我辞职了
I quit my job.
什么为什么啊
What? Why?
学校找了韦恩来接教练职位
The school offered it to Wayne.
我才不要坐在那里等铡刀落下
I wasn't gonna sit around waiting to get fired.
你还好吗
You doing okay?
不好啊玛丽当然不好
No, Mary, not really.
我们这两个失业人正站在这间
We're standing here without jobs in a house
贷款还没付完的房♥子正中♥央♥
we're not done paying for.
你好歹还有在体育用品店打工不是吗
Well, you're still working at Ballard's, right?
那薪水哪够付房♥贷啊
That ain't gonna cover the mortgage.
我们以前也碰到过难关
We've been through tough spots before.
我们会迎刃而解的
We'll figure it out and...
虽然我知道你不会想听接下来这句
I know you don't want to hear it,
但我也一直有在为我们祈祷
but I've been praying on this...
你猜对了我还真不想听到
You're right. I don't want to hear it.
林克莱特博士我能跟你谈谈吗
Dr. Linkletter, may I speak with you?
我如果说不行你会走吗
If I say no, will you leave?
不会
No.
那还问了干嘛
Then why even ask?
礼仪嘛
It's called manners.
找我有何贵干
What do you want?
我想跟你谈谈青春期的事
I was hoping we could discuss puberty.
容我戳破你的希望拒绝
Then allow me to dash your hopes. No.
但我觉得我好像进入了我想跟你聊聊
But I think I may be entering it, and I would like to talk about it,
男人与茁壮成长中的男生间的对话
man-to-blossoming-young-man.
你难道不会更想与你父亲
Wouldn't you rather talk to your father
同学或任何一个我之外的人谈吗
or a schoolmate or literally anyone else?
但你经历过一次
But you went through it once.
的确那可能是很久很久以前
Sure, it was a long, long time ago,
但我想基础部分应该没有什么变化
but I'm assuming the basics haven't changed.
你稍等
Hold that thought.
好了有什么问题吗
Okay, so, what's the problem?
我想跟林克莱特博士谈青春期
I wanted to talk with Dr. Linkletter about puberty.
而我想避免诉讼
And I wanted to avoid litigation.
如果我们不能卖♥♥啤酒那香烟呢
Hey, if we can't sell beer, what about cigarettes?
我们能赚钱还能减少别人
We could make money and keep people
离开去买♥♥烟的机会
from leaving to go buy more.
这主意还不错
That's not a bad idea.
我可以去超♥市♥买♥♥几条烟
I could go down to Walmart, buy some cartons.
拆开来疯狂加价卖♥♥
We could mark 'em up like crazy.
让我回想起我年轻时
Reminds me of when I was young
我们也会开车穿过边界
and we used to go down across the border
去墨西哥买♥♥便宜的烟
and get 'em cheap in Mexico.
多便宜啊
How cheap?
考虑少付的税与汇率
Well, between the taxes and the peso,
基本就不要钱
practically nothing.
那就这么干吧
Let's do that.
我才不要大老远开去墨西哥
I'm not driving to Mexico.
不用你去我去就行
I don't need you. I'll go.
所以我该开去哪里
Where do I go?
-我才不告诉你 -为什么啊
- I'm not telling you. - Why?
因为你在我国就是个蠢货
'Cause you're dumb in this country.
鬼知道你去别国会变啥
God knows what you are anywhere else.
行那我就一路向南
Fine. I'll just head south
开到哪就是哪
and see where it takes me.
我真没想到你居然知道是在南边
I'm impressed you knew it was south.
万一它很痒会让我不停想它呢
But what if it's scratchy and it's all I can think about?
就只是腋毛罢了
It's just armpit hair.
我都还没长呢
Well, I don't even have it yet
它就已经在蚕食鲸吞我的思绪
and it's already consuming my thoughts.
好了谢尔顿你是个聪明孩子
All right, Sheldon, you are a smart kid.
你不可能不知道有一天一定会发生吧
Now, you had to know that this was gonna happen eventually.
我现在是个聪明孩子但我一年后会变什么呢
I'm a smart kid now, but what will I be in a year?
聪明的少年嘛
A smart young man.
然后是聪明的成人
And then a smart adult.
开始得烦恼钱与婚姻冲突
With money problems and marital strife
以及你所能想出的每个问题
and every other problem you can think of.
我估计会长出个啤酒肚
I'll probably have a beer belly.
或姜汁啤酒肚
Or root beer belly.
好啦谢尔顿
All right, now, Sheldon...
当个大人也不全是坏处啊
being a grown-up isn't all bad, right?
的确啦你的...
I mean, yeah, sure, your...
你的身体各方面开始衰退
you know, your body starts to fall apart.
但有一个窗口大概是在22岁
But there is a window at about, mm, 22
那段日子一切都是...
where everything's just... mwah.
当我22岁那会儿
Oh, when I was 22,
我还是个健壮的金发美少年
I was a strapping blonde oak of a man.
当我走过街上时到处有人为我倾倒
I'd walk down the street, you could hear the knees buckle.
如果我能回到那时候
If I could go back,
我一定时时刻刻都穿着比基尼
I would wear nothing but a bikini, 24-7.
我的脑子在巅峰状态
My mind was a steel trap.
圆周率能随便背个25位数
I could rattle off pi to 25 places.
到今天
Today...
我都不确定我早上车停哪了
not sure where I parked.
我有一次去法国玩了一个月
I once went to France for a month
就是跟我在机场酒吧碰到的帅哥
with a man I met in the airport bar.
虽然错过了祖母的葬礼但...
Missed my grandmother's funeral, but...
哎哟喂
ooh, la-la.
光阴似箭啊
It all went by so fast.
过去太快了
Too fast.
我是青春期新手
I'm new to puberty.
你们这是对上眼了吗
Is this sexual tension?
给你
Here.
这是什么
What's this?
分类广♥告♥
Classifieds.
开始吧
Let's do this.
当真吗
Really?
是啊我们可以坐在这生闷气
Yeah, we could sit here and sulk
也可以努力找工作
or we can find jobs.
拿起笔把适合的工作圈起来
Now, pick up that pen and start circling.
好吧
All right.
看有什么工作招人
Let's see what we have here.
找到一个
Here's one.
要求有大学学历
College degree required.
我不会打字
I can't type.
-我会啊 -你一分钟能打90字吗
- I can. - 90 words a minute?
继续找
Let's keep looking.
事实上我敢说我能比你更快找到工作
In fact, I bet I find a job faster than you can.
走着瞧
We'll see about that.
我们怎么会任何工作都不符资格啊
How are we not qualified for anything?
还是有一两个符合条件的
Well, there were a couple.
我才不会去废车场
I'm not gonna be night security guard
当夜班保安好吗乔治
at the junkyard, George.
你倒是可以
You can.
你明知道我容易打瞌睡
You know I get sleepy.
我早上去接你行吗
So I'll pick you up in the morning?
别太早我得先遛米琪
Well, not too early. I have to walk Mitzy.