小谢尔顿

Young Sheldon S05E07

Part 3 Nov. 20, 2021, 8:42 p.m.

Ugh, tenure.
要是不能拿工作威胁人
What fun is it being president
当校长还有什么意思
if I can't threaten people's jobs?
现在我能回去上课了吗
May I get back to class now?
好吧切散吧
Oh, fine. And fall off, or whatever it is.
应该是"解散" 女士
It's "dismissed," Ma'am.
快走吧
Just go.
我听见你笑了
I heard that giggle.
好了晚饭好了
Okay. Soup's on.
看起来不错啊
Mmm. Wow, looks good.
天啊
Oh, geez.
你怎么了
Are you okay?
我把背扭伤了
Oh, I, uh, I tweaked my back.
怎么弄的
Oh. How?
我去帮琼的忙
I was helping June out.
你人真好
Well, aren't you sweet?
她找你帮什么忙
What'd she have you doing for her?
就是帮点小忙
Yeah, this and that.
什么小忙
This and that what?
就是帮点小忙跟一点琐碎的
Yeah. This and that and the other thing.
你不想告诉我吗
Do you not want to tell me?
为了诚实起见也是因为她可能告诉你
Well, for the sake of honesty and because she might tell you,
我帮她洗澡了
I was helping her take a shower.
你和她洗澡了吗
You took a shower with her?
是她洗澡我只是帮她
She took the shower, I was just assisting.
所以她一♥丝♥不♥挂♥
So she was naked.
老天爷啊我们结过婚
For crying out loud, we were married.
我看过她一♥丝♥不♥挂♥无数次了
I've seen her naked a million times.
您觉得你说这话有帮助吗
You think that is helping?
我就知道我不该说实话的
I knew I shouldn't have been honest.
你是不该扮她的浴室服务员
You shouldn't have been playing bathroom attendant.
完全没有任何能起邪念的那种
There was nothing sexy about it.
就像洗车一样
It was like washing a car.
一辆生锈的旧汽车
A rusty old car.
那你擦她的挡风玻璃了吗
Did you scrub her windshield?
什么意思
What does that even mean?
就是她的胸部天才
Her boobs, genius.
我只是协助她洗澡
I was helping her in the shower
以免她在浴室里滑倒
so she didn't fall down.
好吧
Well, fine.
而且众所周知
And boobs are headlights.
胸部应该是车头灯
Everybody knows that.
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
看谢尔顿写作业碰到困难
Watching Sheldon struggle with homework.
太精彩了
It's so great.
拜托思考
Come on, think.
-怎么了 -我想不明白这个工程学作业
- What's going on? - I can't figure out this engineering project.
每次我上交教授都会把它撕掉
And every time I turn it in, my professor just rips it up.
你之前不是喜欢这个人吗
Well, ain't this the fella you liked?
是啊我本以为他想鞭策我成为最好
I did, when I thought he was pushing me to be all I could be,
但原来他只是纯恶毒
but it turns out all he can be is mean.
我相信你会想出来的
I'm sure you'll figure it out.
你能跟他谈谈吗
Could you talk to him?
你已经是大学生了
You're in college now.
你不觉得你该独自面对吗
Don't you think you should fight your own battles?
那在校长面前打他小报告算吗
Does telling on him to the president of the university count?
奏效了吗
Did it work?
-没有 -那就不算
- No. - Then no.
拜托你跟他谈谈行吗
Will you please talk to him?
不如让你妈去找他好不好
Ooh, what if your mom does it?
但你们都当过兵
But you were both in the Army.
又一样易怒没耐心
And you're both crabby and impatient.
你们共同点非常多
There's a lot of common ground.
你真的气到他了对吧
You really got under this guy's skin, huh?
看样子是的
It would seem so.
我跟他确实有很多共同点
Lot of common ground.
你好
Hello.
琼
Hey, June.
我是康妮就想问问你是否需要什么
Connie. Just wanted to see if you need anything.
不需要啦不过谢谢你的关心
Nah, I'm good, but thank you, though.
你确定
You sure?
买♥♥生活用品啊做饭洗碗啊
Groceries? Dishes?
帮你洗澡呢
Help in the shower?
靠戴尔个大嘴巴
Damn it, Dale.
抱歉
I'm sorry,
我心里就是觉得不舒服
I'm just not comfortable with it.
你以为我喜欢
You think I am?
他上一次看到我胴体时我还没受地心引力摧残
Last time he saw me naked, gravity was on my side.
那你为毛还叫他帮你洗
Then why'd you ask him to do it?
不然我还能叫谁康妮
Who else am I gonna ask, Connie?
你朋友多的是
You got tons of friends.
我是有熟人有客人
I've got acquaintances, I've got clients.
但你可不希望
Those aren't exactly people
被这些人看到自己的疝气疤痕
you want looking at your hernia scar.
戴尔就可以吗
And Dale is?
我得疝气就是因为有一晚他喝醉回家就倒地昏睡
I got that hernia by dragging him onto the bed
我把他拖上♥床♥引发的
one night he came in passed-out drunk.
听着如果我过界了我向你道歉
Look, I'm sorry if I crossed the line,
但你没什么可担心的
but you have nothing to worry about.
好吧
Okay.
听着我保证下次洗澡
Look, I promise, next time,
我会叫帮我除草的那小子过来
I'll get the kid who mows my lawn
在后院直接用水管冲我
to come over and hose me off in the backyard.
打给我吧
Call me.
我很乐意在后院用水管冲你
I'd be happy to hose you off in the backyard.
我承认我有点妒忌
I got to admit, I'm a little jealous.
妒忌什么
Of what?
你
You.
为什么
Why?
在你身边的戴尔是我没能拥有的
You have the Dale I never got.
我花了很长时间打磨他这块顽石
I spent a lot of time polishing that turd,
结果好处都被你占了
and you get all the benefits.
我也花了时间和心血调♥教♥他的好吗
Hey, I put my time in on that, too.
没我投入的多
Not as much as me.
我刚认识他那会他简直惨不忍♥睹
When I met him, he was a mess.
你该看看我初识的他是什么鬼样子
You should've seen where I started.
我们应该都赞同
Well, I think we can both agree,
他就是坨走狗屎运的臭狗屎
he is one lucky turd.
太对了姐们
Amen, sister.
我猜猜
So, let me guess.
你认为我对他太严厉了
You think I'm being too hard on him
你希望我放松些
and you want me to lighten up?
他最近很难熬
He is having a tough time.
这堂课本来就很难
It's a tough class.
听着我懂
Look, I get it.
我也当过兵
I was in the Army, too,
我完全赞成对孩子严格要求但是
I-I'm all for being strict, but...
他连自己问题出在哪里都不知道
he doesn't even know where he's going wrong.
也许你可以
You know, maybe you could just
给他指明正确的方向
point him in the right direction?
你是指直接告诉他答案
You mean, give him the answer?
不是啦
No, no.
你愿意这么做吗
Would you?
你说呢
What do you think?
-不愿意 -看见没
- No. - See?
我没告诉你答案你靠自己想明白了
I didn't give you the answer and you figured it out.
你听我说
Look...
你儿子显然聪明绝顶
...your son is obviously brilliant,
但一昧娇惯他他日后就无法适应真实世界
but coddling him won't prepare him for the real world.
从他出生那天起我就一直这么说
I've been saying that since the day he was born.
有时想要重塑一个人就得先把他彻底击垮