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I've been stuffed into in my life?
好吧 你去躲
All right, go hide.
我们闭上眼睛数到20
We'll close our eyes and count to 20.
一 二
One. Two.
-三 -你干嘛数数
- Three. - Why are you counting?
你播报天气预报时
When you did the weather,
怎么知道会不会下雨
how'd you know if it was gonna rain or not?
我不知道的
Oh, I didn't.
我只是穿上低胸露奶装 然后读屏幕上的字
I just wore something low-cut and read it off a screen.
妙啊
Nice.
那是谁
Who's that?
是我姥姥 洗衣店是她开的
That's my grandma. She owns the Laundromat.
-那很酷啊 -并不酷
- Oh, cool. - Not really.
我现在本该在那里上班 姥姥
I'm supposed to be there right now. Hey, meemaw.
在这见到你真巧啊
Well, funny seeing you here.
我只是吃个晚饭休息一下
I'm just taking a little dinner break.
这是我朋友曼蒂
This is my friend Mandy.
你好 曼蒂
Hi, Mandy.
你好
Hello.
二位的玛格丽塔酒来了
Here we go, two margaritas.
要给你椅子吗
You need a chair?
她不用
No, she's good.
好 我转头回来帮你们下单
Okay. Be back in a sec to take your order.
我超爱这里的玛格丽塔酒
I love their margaritas.
但我要开车
Yeah, but I'm driving,
我估计就喝一两口
so I'll probably just have a sip or two.
或者滴酒不沾 我吃薯条已经吃饱了
Or none. I'm pretty full on chips.
他真是个有责任心的年轻人
He is such a responsible young man.
今晚很愉快
Well, this was fun.
我是看戏看得很乐
It was for me.
很高兴认识你
Nice meeting you.
这酒吧挺有意思 乔治
Interesting bar, George.
就想换换口味
Just wanted a change of pace.
除了这里
Well, other than
吵了和臭了点 你选的地方绝佳
the noise and smell, you've picked a winner.
你想去别的地方我们就去嘛
You want to go someplace else, we'll go someplace else.
不 我很乐意待在这里找你的茬
No, I'm happy to stay here and bust your balls.
我看到他们还有辣热狗自助
I see they've even got a chili dog buffet,
光是看到这画面
and just the sight of it
就让我想去厕所喷射
makes me want to sit on a toilet.
你怎么会来这里
What brings you here?
就是跟我朋友汤姆来喝一杯
Just having a drink with my buddy Tom.
汤姆 这是我邻居布兰达
Tom, this is my neighbor Brenda.
你好啊
Well, hello there.
你好
Hi.
你不是通常都去内特的店吗
Don't you usually hang out at Nate's?
我以为你比较爱去那里
Well, I thought that was more your spot.
平时是啦
Yeah, usually.
但今晚他却带我来这鬼地方
But tonight he took me to this charming dump.
她在这里上班
She works here.
挺好啊
Cool.
很高兴认识你
Well, it was nice meeting you.
-我就不打扰你们了 -见到你很高兴
- I'll let y'all enjoy your night. - Good seeing you.
如果你是一个人来的
Hey, if you're here by yourself,
-不如跟我们一块喝 -不了
- join us. - Oh, no.
我不想打扰你们
No, I wouldn't want to intrude.
反正我们应该很快就走了
We're probably leaving soon, anyways.
你在说什么胡话
What are you talking about?
你都逼我穿上裤子走出家门了
You made me put on pants and leave the house.
我至少要喝瓶啤酒才够本
I'm at least getting a beer out of this.
好吧
Fine.
坐吧 我去买♥♥酒
Sit. I'll grab us a round.
我今晚来这里是为了避开你
I guess I came here tonight to avoid you,
没料到你也是这么想的
and you had the same idea.
有点搞笑
Kind of funny.
笑死人了呢
Hilarious.
-你可以放进档案柜 -好
- You can just put it in the filing cabinet. - Oh, yeah.
这么多烟都是从孩子们身上没收来的吗
Were all these cigarettes taken from the kids?
不是 烟是佩吉的
Oh, no, those are Peg's.
她在各处都放了存货
She's got them stashed everywhere.
唤起了我的回忆
Takes me back.
-你以前抽烟吗 -大学的时候
- You were a smoker? - In college.
我那时想装成熟
You know, I was trying to look older.
奏效了吗
Oh. Did it work?
想象一下麦片广♥告♥的婴儿抽清淡型万宝路
Imagine the Gerber Baby puffing on a Marlboro Light.
不过我很庆幸我戒了
I'm glad I quit, though.
这习惯很恶心
It's a disgusting habit.
-确实 -是啊
- Oh, it is. - Yeah.
不过我有时还是会想念
I do miss it sometimes, though.
有意思
Interesting.
那是很久以前的事了
It was a long time ago.
多久
How long?
也没有那么久啦
Not that long.
好吧 我要坦白一件事
Okay, I got a confession to make.
我也是
Me, too.
-什么时候 -我想想
- When? - Well,
我刚开始干这份工作时
when I first started this job.
我那时压力很大
Yeah, I was pretty stressed-out.
你接工作的时候哪能想到
You wouldn't have known it.
谢谢你
Thank you.
你最后一次抽是几时
When was your last one?
星期三
Wednesday.
我是为孩子们的事感到烦恼
I was having a hard time with the kids.
话说 柜子里还有打火机
You know, there's lighters in here, too.
她好像睡着了
I think she's asleep.
万一她是死了呢
What if she's dead?
她没死
She's not dead.
看起来一副死人脸
She looks dead.
老娘没死
I'm not dead.
22分钟 这肯定破纪录了吧
22 minutes. This has to be a record.
在我们进一步之前
Before this goes any further,
我有件事要告诉你
there's something I got to tell you.
-还能进一步吗 棒呆 -听我说
- This is going further? Sweet. - Listen to me.
关于我的年纪 我没说实话
I wasn't completely honest about my age.
真的吗
You weren't?
其实我...29岁了
I'm actually... 29.
你不是说笑吧
No kidding.
嗯
Yeah.
那有件事我也该告诉你
Well, then, I guess there's something I should tell you.
我完全不介意
I'm totally fine with that.
太好了
Great.
这样做不对吧
This is wrong, right?
-你是指我们很享受 -是啊
- You mean how much we're enjoying it? - Yes.
这就是当基♥督♥徒的好处
Well, that's the nice thing about being a Christian.
我们总能乞求原谅
We can always ask for forgiveness.
-你得够诚心才行啊 -相信我 等我睡醒后
- You have to really mean it. - Trust me, when I wake up
嘴里还残留着烟臭味 我就会够诚心
with this taste in my mouth, I'll mean it.
抽烟可能让我想起了年轻的时光
I guess it reminds me of being young.
你还记得你抽的第一根烟吗
You remember your first cigarette?
八年级
Eighth grade.
我从我妈包里偷的
I snuck it out of my mom's purse.
是薄荷烟
Ugh, menthol.
你呢
You?
大一那年
Freshman year of college,
想在派对上吸引梅丽莎·库利奇
trying to impress Melissa Coolidge at a party.
-我大吐特吐了 -不会吧
- Man, I threw up so much. - Oh, no.
容我辩解一下
In my defense,
因为我吸了致死量的烟
it was an impressive amount.
总之 他叫比利
Anyway, his name is Billy,
他现在上六年级
and he's in sixth grade,
所以你三年或四年或五年后就会见到他
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