好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E23
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:59 p.m.
I've been looking for a good handyman.
我一直想找一个好的零杂工
Well,it's a little soon to know how good he is... I'll find out.
现在说他干的好不好还有点早... 我来看他如何
I'm starting to see a trend here.
我开始发现一个共同的趋势了...
That boney bitch!
那个瘦骨嶙峋的婊♥子♥!
Yep,definitely a trend.
没错 确实是个趋势
Summer school three years in a row.
连续三年上暑期补习班
They might as well just make you the janitor.
他们干脆让你当看门人算了
Yeah,well,school sucks.
学校最烦人了
That's because you go year-round.
那是因为你每年都休不了假!
Imagine if you had a couple months off in the summer.
想象一下如果你在夏天能有几个月休假
If i were you,i'd start teaching him how to throw sawdust on vomit.
如果我是你 就开始教他 如何在酒醉后的呕吐物上撒锯屑
I can do that.
我会撒
Why don't you just go start your homework?
不如你现在就去做功课吧
What's the point? I'm already going to summer school.
有这个必要吗? 我已经要上暑期补习班了
Jake...
杰克...
And if i flunk there,what can they do? Send me to regular school?
而且如果我补习班也挂掉 他们能怎样? 让我不上补习班了?
Go.
快去!
Actually,that sawdust job may be a pipe dream.
实际上 撒锯屑的那个工作 对他来说都有可能是白日做梦
Is the big one gone?
大个儿的那个走了?
Yeah,she went to get something waxed.
是啊 她去给什么部位除毛了
We were scared to ask what.
我们都不敢问是哪里
I just wanted to tell you i was able to save you some money on the redwood.
我只是想告诉你 我能给你在红木上省些钱
Oh,that's terrific.How?
哦 那太好了 如何省呢?
My cousin-- he works at a lumberyard and...
我表弟 他在一个木场工作...
That's all you need to know.
你就需要知道这些
Well,thanks. No problem.I'll get back to work.
谢谢 没事 我回去工作了
I like this guy. Of course you do.
我喜欢这家伙 你当然喜欢
What's that supposed to mean?
这话什么意思?
Charlie,he's a younger version of you.
查理 他是年轻版的你
Oh yeah,that must be it.
哦 对了 肯定是这个原因
i'll get it.
我去开门
There you go.He could be a doorman.
有出路了 他可以去当个看门人
Charlie,i really don't appreciate... I'm not saying right away.
查理 我不希望你... 我不是说他要一下子就成为看门人
He could work his way up from doorstop.
他可以从拉门人的工作开始慢慢干起
Uncle charlie,it's chloe. Aw,geez,did you let her in?
查理伯伯 是Chloe 哦 老天 你让她进来了吗?
No,she's on the front porch. I told her i'd see if you were home.
没有 她在前庭呢 我告诉她要看看你在不在
Attaboy.See? He'll make doorman in no time.
好小子 看吧 他很快就能当个好看门人了
She brought soup. Why would she bring soup?
她带了汤 她带汤干什么?
You told her you had a bug. So she assumed it was bronchial.
你告诉她你得了感冒 所以她认为是支气管的
If you'd been more specific,like i suggested,
如果你说得详细点如我所建议的
you could have precluded this.
支气管的可能也许就被排除了
Nobody just drops by when they think you have diarrhea.
没人会在你拉肚子的时候拜访的 (指前面艾伦提到的肠胃感冒)
And i bet they don't bring soup either.
我猜他们更不会带汤来了
All right,all right,i'm gonna sneak out the back door.
好了好了 我从后门溜出去
Just tell her i had a doctor's appointment.
告诉她我约了医生
Gp or specialist?
普通内科医生还是专科医生?
Alan,i swear to god,i will rip off your head and use your neck as a bedpan.
艾伦向上帝发誓 我会把你的头拧下来 用你的脖子当便桶
Charlie,you cannot keep lying to this girl forever.
查理 你不能永远骗这个女孩
Oh,i think i can.
哦 我想我能的
Just go out there and tell her you're not interested in a relationship and be done with it.
就出去告诉他你不想发展什么感情 不就了结了
Yeah...I guess you're right.
是啊...我猜你是对的
I say we eat the soup before you tell her.
我觉得还是先喝汤然后再告诉她吧
Smelled like minestrone.
闻起来像是蔬菜通心粉汤
Listen,chloe,we need to talk...
听着 Chloe 我们需要谈谈...
Chloe?
Chloe?
Looks like your problem's solved. Are you crazy?
看来你的问题解决了 你疯了吗?
That rat bastard is stealing my girlfriend.
那个混♥蛋♥偷走了我的女朋友
Forget the girl,he's stealing our soup!
别管那个女孩了 他在偷我们的汤!
Hey,baby,thanks so much for coming to see me.
嘿 宝贝儿 多谢你过来看我
Yeah,well,that's what friends are for.
朋友不就是这样的吗?
So,um,charlie,did you know that fernando
那么...查理 你知不知道Fernando
volunteers to build homeless shelters in his spare time?
自愿用空闲时间修建一个赈济所?
No,i didn't.Did you know his cousin steals wood?
不 我不知道 你知不知道他的表弟偷木材?
Really?That is fascinating.
真的? 太让人着迷了
Why don't you come on inside,so we can visit.
不如你进来吧 我们好谈话
I'll see you later,fernando.
一会儿见 Fernando
Well,thank you for your thoughtful soup.
谢谢你的汤
It nourishes my body as your beauty nourishes my soul.
它滋润了我的身体 正如你的美丽滋润了我的灵魂
Find something to saw.
找点什么锯一锯吧你
So,chloe,what's new? Huh?Oh,nothing.
那么...Chloe 最近可好? 恩? 哦 还行
What is he,like,colombian? I don't know.
他哪里人? 哥伦比亚吗? 我不知道
But i gotta tell you, i do feel much better seeing you.
但是我要告诉你 看到了你我感觉好多了
God,it's like his eyes are looking inside your soul.
上帝啊 他的眼睛好像看穿了我的灵魂
Yeah,kinda creepy.
是啊 让人不舒服
The way he speaks,it's so romantic.
他讲话的语调...太浪漫了
Hey,i almost forgot.
嘿 我差点忘了
I wrote you a song. Really?
我给你写了首歌♥ 真的?
Well,chloe,you've been on my mind a lot, and i wanted to find a way to express my feelings.
Chloe 我最近一直想着你 我想找到能表达自己感觉的方式
What's it called?
歌♥名是什么?
chloe's song.
Chloe之歌♥
I haven't put any words to it yet, but it goes something like this.
还没填词呢 不过曲调是这样的
You should use those words.
你就该这么填词!
Thanks again for stopping by.
再次谢谢你过来看我
Yeah,i'm glad you're feeling better. So when am i gonna see you again?
是啊 我很高兴你感觉好多了 那什么时候能再见到你呢?
Soon. How soon?
很快的 有多快?
I'll call you. Bye,fernando.
我会打电♥话♥给你的 再见 Fernando
Hasta luego,serita. oh,god...
Hasta luego,serita(别了 美丽的小姐!) 哦 上帝啊!...
Call me.
打电♥话♥给我哦
You have a beautiful lady,ser harper.
你有位美丽的女朋友 查理先生
Thank you. She must make you feel...
谢谢 她一定让你觉得...
How do you say...Young again?
该怎么说呢...又年轻起来了
Yeah.That's what i'm feeling.
是啊 那就是我的感觉!
Hey,listen,charlie,i was thinking-- after fernando's done with the deck
嘿 听着 查理 我在想 Fernando把阳台搞定以后
he could patch that hole in the roof where the squirrels get in.
我想让他把屋顶上的那个洞 补上 松鼠经常从那里爬进来
I don't think so. Why not?
我看不行 为什么?
I like squirrels.
我喜欢松鼠
Hey,me too.
嘿 我也是
But they get into the crawl space, where they breed and die.
但是它们会钻进缝隙里去 繁殖然后就死在那里
That's what i like about 'em,alan.
就是因为这点我才喜欢它们 艾伦!
I like their little hands.
我喜欢他们的小手
Come on,charlie,all fernando would have to do forget fernando.
拜托 查理 Fernando只需要... 忘了 Fernando 吧!
I'm having second thoughts about him even finishing the deck.
我甚至都怀疑是不是该让他休阳台了
What,you want to fire him? I don't want to...
什么? 你想解雇他? 我也不想的...
I just don't think his work is very professional.
我只是觉得他的活儿干得不专业
I mean,he's wasting a lot of wood.
我是说 他浪费了很多木料
And you know,wood doesn't just grow on tree... He's gotta go.
而且你知道 木头长在树上可不是... 他必须走!
Charlie,you're not fooling anybody. You're jealous.
查理 你骗不了我们 你是嫉妒他!
Jealous?
嫉妒?
You know what's cooler than squirrels? Anteaters.They're just crazy-lookin'.
你知道比松鼠更酷的是什么吗? 食蚁兽 样子简直怪到家了
I'm not jealous.
我才没有嫉妒!
And their name tells you what to feed 'em.
而且他们的名字就 告诉了你喂他们什么
Why would you say i'm jealous?
你凭什么说我嫉妒?
I'm an omnivore. That means i eat anything.
我不偏食 我是说我什么都吃...
Yeah,we've noticed. Now shut up.
是啊 我们注意到了 闭嘴!
I'm not jealous.
我才没有嫉妒!
Charlie,you want to fire this guy just because he's younger and better-looking than you.
查理 你想要解雇他仅仅因为 他比你年轻而且帅气!
And he can sing.
而且唱歌♥很好听
This has nothing to do with that. And i can sing too.
跟那些没关系! 我也能唱歌♥!
Yeah,but you stink.
是啊 不过你唱得超差
Hey,i'm done for the day. I'll see you in the morning?
嘿 今天的活儿干完了 明天早上见
Hold on,fernando. I want to talk to you.
等等 Fernando 我想跟你谈谈
Yes?
什么事?
Never mind.Good night. Is there a problem?
算了 晚安 有什么问题吗?
Because i want everything to be perfect for you.
我希望一切都能让你感到完美
You're a good man and i respect you.
你是个好人而我尊重你
You remind me of my sainted father.
你让我想起了我善良的父亲
Thank you.
谢谢
He was wise and strong until syphilis made him crazy.
他智慧又强壮 知道梅毒让他疯了
Again,thanks.Good night.
再次感谢 晚安
Buenas noches.
Buenas noches(晚安)
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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