好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E06
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:56 p.m.
Me and Dad.
我和爸
No, no, I d... uh...
不 不 我...呃...
That's, that's not...
那...那不是...
I mean, she seems really...
我是说 她似乎很...
No, we don't like her.
是的 我们不喜欢她
All right, she might be a bit outspoken,
好吧 也许她讲话有点直
but I happen to find that very attractive.
但我反而觉得这样很有魅力
She must be dynamite in the sack.
她在床上一定吓吓叫
Where do you get this stuff from?
你从哪学来这句话?
Cinemax.
Cinemax电影台
Well, not that my sex life is any of your business...
我的性生活应该不关你们的事
It's not his business.
不关他的事
It's nobody's business.
不关任何人的事
So, what does she do for a living?
那么 她是做什么的?
Besides being a stone cold bee-yatch.
除了她是个冷若冰霜的婊啊子之外
HBO.
HBO电影台
She sells real estate.
她是搞房♥地♥产♥的
Oh, like Mom.
哦 跟妈一样
No, not like Mom.
不 跟妈不一样
Lydia sells high-end homes in Beverly Hills,
莉迪亚卖♥♥的是比佛利山庄的高级住♥宅♥
and Mom sells high-end homes...
而妈卖♥♥的高级住♥宅♥...
mostly on the beach.
大部份都在海边
What are you getting so defensive about?
你怎么防御心那么重?
I'm not getting defensive!
我没有防御心很重
Lydia sells homes on the bee-yatch.
莉迪亚卖♥♥靠海啊滩的房♥子
All right, all right, that's it. Go to bed.
好了 好了 够了 快上♥床♥睡觉
I wasn't mean before I got my boobs.
在我有奶♥子♥之前没这么恶劣
Boy, puberty is gonna hit him like a shovel.
哇 青春期即将像个铲子般 打在他身上
Good to have you back, Mr. Harper.
很荣幸你再度光临 哈波先生
Thank you, Bobby.
谢谢你 巴比
We haven't seen your mother here for quite some time.
我们有很长的时间没见到你母亲了
Well, maybe you just didn't recognize her.
也许你只是不认得她了
Like Satan, my mother can take many forms.
我妈跟撒旦一样 能以各种形式出现
(chuckles): Good one.
了不起
I'm ready to order.
我可以点餐了
Of course.
当然
Apologies for the frivolity.
我为我的轻薄道歉
What would you like?
请问你要点什么?
I'll have the seared ahi tuna filet.
我想要一份烧烤半熟鲔鱼片
Good choice. I want it very rare.
选的好 必须要刚好烤的半熟
That's how we serve it.
那是这道菜的卖♥♥点
I want it red in the middle, not pink.
我要鱼片中间是红色 而非粉红
Shall do. If it's pink, don't even bother bringing it.
没问题 如果是粉红色 就别送上来了
Got it. Just give it to someone who doesn't know what rare is.
了解 就直接给那些不懂何谓"半熟"的人好了
Of course. You know what? Forget it.
当然 你知道吗?算了好了
You won't get it right.
你们一定做不到
Is your salmon fresh?
你们的鲑鱼新鲜吗?
Flown in today.
今天才空运过来
What time?
几点?
I'll ask the chef.
我得去问主厨
Many forms. I thought you were joking.
很多形式 我以为你在开玩笑
You eat here regularly?
你常来这里用餐吗?
Not anymore.
不会再来了
So, listen, about this weekend.
那么 关于这个周末
My ex is going to be out of town,
我前夫要出城
so I'll have the kids.
所以我要顾小孩
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lydia, no one loves the little ones
哇 哇 哇 莉迪亚 没有人
more than old Uncle Charlie,
比查理叔叔更爱小孩子了
but don't you think it might be
不过你不觉得现在就见你的小孩
a bit soon for me to meet your kids?
有点太快了吗?
Oh, I don't want you to meet them.
哦 我不希望你见他们
Why not?
为什么?
Because I'm very careful about who I expose them to.
因为我很在意他们接触到的人
What's that supposed to mean?
这话什么意思?
Charlie, please.
查理 求求你
Why can't I expose myself to your kids?
我什么我不能和小孩接触?
I mean, why can't I meet your kids?
我是说 为什么我不能见你的小孩?
Please don't make me hurt your feelings.
请别逼我伤害你的感情
You can't hurt my feelings.
你不可能伤害我的感情
All right, fine.
好吧
You're a professional boy toy,
你是一个称职的女人玩伴
a perpetual adolescent leading a dissolute life.
一个永远年轻 过着糜烂生活的人
You may have your uses,
你也许有你的用处
but you're not the kind of man
但我不认为你是那种
I want around my children.
可以让小孩围绕在身边的男人
Oh.
哦
What made you think that would hurt my feelings?
那你怎会觉得这样讲会伤害我的感情?
2:00. Jet Blue from Vancouver.
2点 捷蓝航♥空♥ 从温哥华起飞
Would you like me to find out what the movie was?
需要帮你查机上播放的影片名称吗?
Don't bother, I'll just have the capellini.
不用了 我要点一份意大利天使面
And I'll have the pork chop with a baked potato.
那我要猪排加烤马铃薯
How about a little angioplasty for dessert?
那要不要来个血管扩张手术当甜点?
Hey, I like a nice pork chop once in a while.
嘿 我偶尔也想吃美味的猪排
Fine, I'm not going to tell you how to eat.
好吧 那我就不告诉你如何吃才健康了
Really?
真的吗?
Even if I chew slowly for your pleasure?
如果我为了取悦你而细嚼慢咽呢?
So, yay or nay on the pork chop?
那么 猪排要还是不要?
I'll have the spinach and goat cheese salad.
我要波菜和羊酪色拉
Good choice. Thank you.
选的好 谢谢
On the food.
我是指食物
How many pieces of bacon are you going to eat?
你到底要吃几片培根?
My record's 14.
我的纪录是14片
I barfed, but it still counts.
我吐了 但纪录有效
Do you know what's going to happen
你知道如果你一直这样吃下去
if you continue to eat like this?
会发生什么事吗?
Yeah, I'm gonna barf.
知道 我会吐
Alan, doesn't this poor child
艾伦 这个可怜的小孩
already have enough strikes against him?
还没有遭受到足够的打击吗?
He's fine, Mom.
他没事的 妈
All right, but when Jerry Springer has to knock down a wall
好吧 不过当杰瑞史平格必须打破一面墙
just to get him out of his house,
才能把他从房♥子里救出来时
don't come crying to me.
到时别哭着来找我
That wasn't Jerry, that was Dr. Phil.
那不是杰瑞 是菲尔博士 (均为脱口秀主持人 后者较高大)
I'm not saying it wasn't a turn-on,
我并没说那样不刺♥激♥
I just think you need to trim a fingernail.
我只是觉得你应该去修指甲
Oh. Hey, Mom.
嗨 妈
Uh, Mom, this is Lydia. Lydia, my mother.
妈 这是莉迪亚 莉迪亚 我妈
Oh, pleased to meet you.
很高兴认识你
Likewise.
我也是
Boy, I'm glad I stopped coming to work high.
哇 我真高兴能看到这一幕
SO,lydia
那么 莉迪亚
what you do?
你是干什么的?
I mean, besides my son.
我是说 除了干我儿子之外
I'm in real estate.
我是做房♥地♥产♥的
How interesting, so am I.
真有趣 我也是
Oh, yes. Evelyn Harper.
对哦 伊夫林哈波
I recognize you from your bus bench ads.
我从公交车椅子上的广♥告♥认识你的
People all over town are sitting on your face.
全城的人都坐在你的脸上
Well, dear, maybe someday,
亲爱的 也许有一天
if you work hard, people will be sitting
如果你努力工作 人们也会坐
on your face, too.
在你的脸上的
Thank you. Although when I get to be your age,
谢谢 不过我到你这个年纪的时候
I hope I won't be schlepping to open houses
我希望我不必长途拔涉到待售屋
in order to make a buck.
就为了赚一点钱
(chuckles) Don't say "schlep," darling.
不要说"长途拔涉" 亲爱的
You're a bit too vanilla to pull it off.
你太平凡了所以不可能成功
So, Charlie, how long have you been seeing this lovely woman?
那么 查理 你和这个漂亮的女人交往多久了?
Uh... how long has it been, sweetie?
呃...有多久了 亲爱的?
Are you telling me you don't remember when we met?
你是说你不记得我们何时认识的吗?
The way he drinks?
他那时喝醉了吧?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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