好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E23
Part 1
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:59 p.m.
I am sorry you have to go.
真遗憾你必须要走了
I don't have to go.
我不一定要走啊
I mean,i'm sorry i have work to do, so you can't stay.
我是说 我很抱歉还有工作要做 所以你不能留下来
Didn't you hear me? I can stay.
你没听见我说话吗? 我可以留下来的
Yeah,i wish you could...
是啊...我真希望你能留下...
But there's no way i'd be able to concentrate with you around.
但是有你在身边我怎么能集中精力呢
Don't forget your sweater.
别忘了你的毛衣
Oh,you are so thoughtful. Most guys aren't.
你真体贴 大多数男人都不是这样的
Most guys are selfish,hateful bastards,
大多数男人都是自私可恨的混♥蛋♥
who just want to use you and throw you away.
"使用"过你以后就抛弃你
Damn them.
那些王八蛋!
Anything else you might have overlooked--
有没有落下什么东西?
Cell phone,earrings?Any medications?
手♥机♥? 耳环? 药品?
Hang on.Nope,i'm all set.
等等 没有 都带上了
Good,good. Okay,well,i'll see you soon.
很好很好 好了 我们很快就会再见了
How soon? Very soon.
有多快 非常快...
So you'll call? What do you think?
那么你会给我打电♥话♥的? 你觉得呢?
I think you'll call. Well,there you go.
我觉得你会打给我的 您请便吧!
So when will you call? Soon.
那么你什么时候会打给我? 很快
How soon? We're back on this ride,huh?
有多快? 又开始讨论这个问题了是吧...
Okay,very soon. Bye-bye now.
好了 非常快 再见咯
When will i learn? soon.
我什么时候才能吸取教训呢 很快
Very soon.
非常快...
Don't tell me,tell the cockeyed optimist in my pants.
别跟我说 跟我裤裆里那个 傻乎乎的乐天派说
So where'd you find this one? The animal shelter.
你在哪里碰到的这一位? 动物之家
So,we getting a pet? Are you crazy?We've already got your kid.
我们要养只宠物吗? 你疯了吗? 我们已经有你的孩子了
Then what were you doing there?
那么你去那里干什么?
Standing within earshot of attractive women and mumbling
去站在美女的视线内并且嘴里嘟囔着...
gee,i wish i could adopt them all.
天啊 真希望我能把它们都收养下来
It's foolproof.
这招简单有效
Listen,there's something i need to talk to you about.
听着 我有事要跟你说
You know the difference between you and me,alan?
你知道你我有什么不同吗 艾伦?
I don't scream when i pee?
我尿尿的时候不会喊痛?
I took care of that.
我已经治好了!
No,the difference between you and me is i have vision-- i see what others don't.
你我的差距就是 我有眼光 我能看到别人所看不到的东西
Terrific.Anyway,the thing i wanted to tell you...
很好 不管怎样 我要跟你说的事情是...
You look at an animal shelter
你到动物之家眼里
and see homeless dogs and kitties about to be put to death.
只有无家可归的小猫小狗马上就要被安乐死
Me-- i see an ass farm.
我 则看到一个美臀农场
Okay,i'm speechless.
好吧...我无语了
No words necessary. Silent admiration is all i ask.
没必要说话 我只需要你默默地景仰
So,what is it you wanted to tell me?
那么...你要跟我说什么?
The railing's a little loose.
我想说扶手有点松了
Two and A Half Men Season 04 Episode 23
好汉两个半:第4季第23集
oh,i got to stop falling off the deck sober.
以后可不能没喝醉 就从阳台上摔下去了...
Buenos dias.
Buenos dias (西班牙语:您好! 早安!)
Huevos rancheros.
Huevos rancheros (查理在胡诌)
Morning.How are you feeling?
早安 感觉如何?
Like i feel eight feet onto splintered wood, wet sand and a dead crab.
就像从2.5米的高度摔到了 插满碎木片和死螃蟹的泥地里
I can only think your highly inflated ego might have broken your fall.
不了解你的人会认为你那 极度膨胀的自负会被摔碎了呢
So where'd you find pancho bob villa out there?
你从哪里找来的墨西哥小子?
You know those fliers that get left in your mailbox all the time? Yeah.
你知道你邮箱里经常收到传♥单♥吗? 知道啊
Well,i take them and file them according to category.
我把它们收集起来并且分了类
Take-out menus,rug sales,carpet cleaning, plumbing,tiling...
外卖♥♥菜单 推销单 地毯清洁 管道工 瓦工...
Fernando was under handyman services
Fernando是做装♥修♥零工的
You're going to live here forever,aren't you?
你要永远住在这里了是不是?
He's licensed,he's bonded,he's punctual and he's reasonably priced.
他有执照 有担♥保♥ 有时间观念 而且他的价格还很合理
Are you paying him?
是你付钱吗?
No,but i'm saving you 20% with this valuable coupon.
不 不过我用这张宝贵的优♥惠♥卷 为你省了20%的钱...
Morning. Morning.
早上好 早上好
What in the heck is... Oh,yum.
怎么回事...哦...性感!
Who is that? He's a handyman.
那是谁啊? 做零工的
Ooh,nice.Can we keep him?Can we,can we?
唔...不错...我们能留下他吗? 能吗? 能吗?
He's just here to fix the deck. Great.
他来这里只是修阳台 很好
There's a lot of work that can be done in here,too.
这里其实有很多其它活儿要干
Like what?
比如呢?
Well,for starters,that cabinet door's coming off its hinges.
首先那个橱柜门的铰链松了
Really?
真的吗?
No,it's not.
没有啊
Yeah,it is.
确实坏了
He looks parched. I'll take him some rum.
他看起来很热 我给他带点朗姆酒去
See,my problem is,is that i'm a giver.
瞧 我的问题是 我是个给予者
I love too much. And it's always the wrong man.
我太"博爱"了 而且总是爱上不该爱的人
You have romance in your heart. Oh,i have romance all over me.
你心中充满浪漫 哦 我全身都浪漫极了
I reek of it.Another mojito?
我身上都散发出"浪漫味" 再来一杯 Mojito?(古巴鸡尾酒)
Oh,no-- one is my limit when i work with power tools.
哦 不了 当我用带电的工具时 只能喝一杯
That's smart.We wouldn't want you to lose one of those beautiful thumbs.
很明智 失去一只你漂亮的 大拇指可不太好啊
Berta? What?
贝塔? 怎么了?
I just thought maybe it's almost lunchtime... Oh,yeah.
我只是在想...也许该是吃午饭的时候了 哦 对哦
Quesadilla,bright eyes?
油炸玉米粉饼(墨西哥菜)怎么样 亮眼帅哥?
Thank you. Coming up.
谢谢你 马上就来
Actually,i'd rather have a sandwich...
实际上 我更想吃三明治...
I'm making quesadillas! Quesadillas,fine.
我要做油炸玉米粉饼! 油炸玉米粉饼 很好!
So,fernando,how's it going?
那么...Fernando 进行得如何?
Oh,sorry to tell you this, but you have a problem here.
哦 很抱歉告诉你 不过你这里有个麻烦
Just don't let her corner you in the laundry room and you'll be fine.
只要别让她把你堵到洗衣间里 你就会没事的
No,the deck. When is the last time you put sealant on it?
不 我说阳台 你上次涂封蜡是什么时候?
Well...Uh...What?
恩...什么?
Oh,ser,you cannot have wood untreated this close to the ocean.
哦 先生 你不能让木头离 海这么近却不保养啊!
The moisture,she gets in and rots it from the inside.
潮气会渗入木头让它从里面腐烂的
Where have i heard that before? Oh right,my doctor.
我从哪里听过同样的话...? 哦 对了 医生说的
But it wasn't moisture,it was scotch.
但说的不是潮气 而是苏格兰威士忌
You need to replace the entire railing, parts of the deck and the stairway to the beach.
你需要换掉全部的扶手 部分的阳台 还有通往海滩的阶梯
Well,why can't i just put on some of that sealant?
为什么不能就上点封蜡呢?
You could do that,but it would be, as we say order a una vaca muerta.
你也可以那样做 但那就成了 "order a una vaca muerta"
What's that mean? Milking a dead cow.
那是什么意思? 挤一头死牛的奶
Well,maybe before i commit to all this work, i should get a second opinion.
也许在开始这个工程前 我应该听取下别人的意见
I understand.You are a smart and careful man.
我理解 你是个聪明而谨慎的人
But i would hurry up before your deck falls off.
但是在你的阳台垮掉之前 请抓紧时间的
Something else my doctor told me.
又是一句我医生说过的话...
Hello.
喂?
Oh,hang on,i'll see if he's here.
哦 稍等 我看看他在不在
It's chloe.
是 Chloe
I need more than that,alan.
我需要点其它提示 艾伦
The girl you adopted at the animal shelter.
那个你在动物之家"领养"的女孩儿
Oh,god,she won't leave me alone. What do you want me to say?
哦 上帝啊 她简直死缠烂打 你想让我跟她说什么?
I don't know; tell her i'm sick. Okay.
我不知道 说我病了 好的
What do you have? What are you talking about?
什么病? 你在说什么啊?
Are you bedridden or ambulatory?
是卧床不起的病还是能走动的病?
Bedridden. Got it.
卧床不起的 好的
Is if viral or bacterial? What?
是病毒引起的还是细菌引起的? 什么?
If i'm going to lie convincingly,i need details.
如果要我撒个让她相信的谎 我就需要更多细节
I don't know-- i got a bug.
我不知道...我感冒了!
Intestinal or bronchial?
肠道的还是支气管的?
Just tell her i got the flu,all right? Oh,good,the flu.
就告诉她我得了流感 行不行? 哦 很好 流感
Is it coming out both ends?
有没有上吐下泻呢?
Just give me the freakin' phone.
把该死的电♥话♥给我!
No,it's okay,i want to talk to her.
不 我没事的 我想和她说话
hello,chloe.
喂 Chloe
No,i'm fine.Just a little bug.
没事 我很好 只是得了感冒
Doctor said i should be okay in a couple of weeks.
医生说我几周内就会没事了
Me too,baby.I'll call you.Soon.
我也是 宝贝儿 我会给你打电♥话♥的... 很快...
Very soon.
非常快...
See?Was that so hard?
瞧吧? 有那么难吗?
Well,to be fair,you had the advantage of making it a performance piece.
公平点说 您确实很享受表演的过程...
Hey,dawgs. Hey,jake.
嘿 伙计们 嘿 杰克
Alan,here,i need you to sign these papers for jake's summer school.
艾伦 我需要你在杰克的 暑期补习班同意书上签字
Summer school,again? Why not?He's getting good at it.
又要上暑期补习班? 为什么不上呢? 他越补越爱补了...
Oh,my lord.Who is that?
哦 天啊 那是谁?
That's my handyman. Really?
我们的零杂工 真的?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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