好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E19
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:58 p.m.
we really shouldn't be drinking out of the same cup.
我就不应该和你用一个杯子喝酒
That might be the nicest thing she's ever said about me.
这时她对我的最高评价
I just don't understand what my brother sees in her.
我就是不明白我哥哥看上她哪一点了
You know, 15 years ago I asked the exact same question.
知道吗? 16年前我也问过同样的问题
A little tip? Don't do it during the wedding toast.
小提示:别在婚礼致辞上问
Maybe you can clear something up for me.
也许你可以给我解释一下
Herb says you're a successful jingle writer,
哈珀说你是个成功的广♥告♥歌♥作曲家
but Judith says you are a drunken talentless hack
但是朱迪丝说你是个酗酒的没才能的蠢货
who passed out and fell into a pit of money.
只知道在大堆债务中喝晕过去
So what do you need cleared up?
又不矛盾有什么可解释的?
Boy, you got me at a disadvantage.
你有我衬托你
I don't know why Judith hates you.
不知道朱迪丝为什么那么讨厌你
Hmm, it's hard to say.
恩...很难说
Maybe it's 'cause I'm smart. Maybe it's because I'm independent.
也许是因为我聪明 也许是因为我独♥立♥
Maybe it's because I offered my brother a thousand dollars to call off the wedding.
也许是因为我告诉我哥哥 只要取消这个婚礼就给他1000美元
I did the same thing with my brother.
我也对我弟弟作过同样的事情
You did?
你做过?
Well, actually, it was a thousand-dollar hooker...
实际上我开出的条件 是价值1000美元的妓♥女♥
...but the thought was the same.
但我们的理念是一样的
So, Myra... what do you do?
那么...迈拉 你是干什么的?
I teach high school economics.
我在高中教经济学
Huh. It may sound like a boring life,
听起来也许挺无聊的
but at night,
但是在夜里
I dress up like a giant spider and fight crime.
我穿成个大蜘蛛的样子和罪犯作斗争
Interesting. Now, did you decide spider
很有趣...那么你是订做了蜘蛛服呢
and have the costume made or did you find the costume and say, "Okay, spider"?
还是在捡到蜘蛛服后才决定... 好吧 我就扮蜘蛛了
Are you mocking the Scarlet Arachnid?
你在嘲笑"赤色之蛛"吗 (Scarlett Arachnid:出自<蜘蛛侠>)
Sorry, sorry. It's just hard to believe that you're Herb's sister.
抱歉抱歉 只是很难相信你是哈珀的妹妹
He's so... Hapless?
他是那么... 无趣?
I was going to say "tall,"
我本来想说"长得高"的
but hapless works.
不过"无趣"也算是正确...
To hapless Herb.
致无趣的哈珀
To the Scarlet Arachnid.
致"赤色小蜘蛛"
Shh. My enemies are everywhere.
嘘...我的敌人到处都是
Let's all go to the lobby,
让我们都去休息室吧
let's all go the lobby
让我们都去休息室吧
Let's all go the lobby
让我们都去休息室吧~
and have ourselves a treat.
让我们饱餐一顿
We're here.
我们到了
Oh, yes, Judith's house of pain.
哦 对哦 朱迪丝的苦痛之屋
Shh, shh, ixnay! That's her id-kay.
小声点 那是她儿子!
We're... here.
我们到了
Well, thanks for the movie.
多谢请我看电影
I'll walk you. Why, thank you.
我送你吧 多谢
Whoa! You okay?
你还好吗?
I never know till I sober up.
要等我酒醒了才知道
I think they like each other.
他们喜欢对方
Well, sure they like each other.
当然 他们喜欢对方
No, I mean, they like like each other.
我是说他们真的喜欢对方
Oh, no, Jake. Your Uncle Charlie only like likes a certain type of woman.
不 杰克 你的查理伯伯 只喜欢某一种类型的女人
Mom calls 'em tramps.
妈妈叫那种女人"淫♥娃♥"
That's as good a word as any.
也没什么更好的词可以形容了...
Thanks, that was fun.
多谢 今晚很愉快
See ya around. Yeah.
回头见 好的
I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that.
抱歉 我不知道为什么自己这么做
Who cares?
管它呢
Looks like Aunt Myra's a tramp, huh?
看来迈拉阿姨是个淫♥娃♥
me on, Judith, so he gave her a kiss.
拜托 朱迪丝
It's no big deal.
他们接吻了又如何? 有什么大不了的
That's how Charlie says good-bye.
这是查理说晚安的方式
Some people shake hands, some people wave,
有的人握手 有的人挥手
my brother darts his tongue in and out of your mouth.
我哥哥喜欢把舌头伸到别人嘴里
What'd I miss?
我错过什么好戏了?
You know Dr. Melnick?
你知道Melnick医生吗?
Guy your mom's marrying?
你妈妈要和他结婚的那个?
He has a sister... Got it.
他有个妹妹... 明白了
I'm sure it has nothing to do with you, Judith.
我相信这件事和你没关系 朱迪丝
Wait, hang on a second. Jake, are you done with your breakfast?
稍等一下 杰克 你吃完早餐了吗?
Yeah. Then get out.
吃完了 那么请出去
Fine, Berta will just tell me later, right?
好吧 贝塔过会儿会告诉我的 对吗?
Right.
当然
Okay, Judith, that's insane.
好吧 朱迪丝 这简直荒唐
Charlie would not do Myra just to piss you off.
查理才不会和迈拉上♥床♥只为让你生气
I don't think.
至少我认为不会
How would I know what he sees in her?
我怎么知道他看上迈拉哪点了?
She got working girl parts?
她和妓♥女♥有同样的"装备"?
You know what? You leave. Send Jake back.
知道吗? 你还是走吧 把杰克叫回来
Okay, okay. Fine, fine. I'll talk to him.
好吧好吧 我会跟他谈的
I, I don't know. I'll, uh, I'll tell him to keep his hands off Myra.
我怎么知道怎么谈!我告诉他别碰迈拉
And then I'll tell the rain not to fall, the Earth not to spin
告诉雨别往下落 地球不要转了
and you to stop nagging me!
还有你不要在唠叨啦!
Oh, boy, I'm going to pay for that.
哦 伙计 我会为此付出代价的
You know what your problem is?
你知道你有什么毛病吗?
Phone cojones.
你有"电♥话♥囊肿"
Excuse me?
什么?
When you're on the phone with her, you got boulders between your legs.
当你和她在电♥话♥上谈 你两腿之间的蛋蛋就长大一些
The minute you hang up, you're as smooth as a Ken doll.
你一挂电♥话♥ 马上就泄气了
Phone cojones.
"电♥话♥囊肿"
Good to have a name for it.
很高兴还有个名字
So, tell me about the sister.
说说那个妹妹吧
I don't know. She doesn't seem like his type at all.
我不知道...她完全不像是他的类型
What, no coin slot in her forehead?
怎么了?是不淫♥荡♥还是没有长脸?
Morning. Morning.
早上好 早上好
Charlie, we need to talk about Myra.
查理 我们要谈谈迈拉的事
Yeah, that was probably a mistake. It was?
是啊 那是个错误 错误?
She's a nice kid, but... she's just not, you know...
是啊 她是个好女孩 但是她不是...
A red-hot simpleton with no self-respect?
她不简单不性感有自尊?
I just hope she didn't take that whole kiss thing too seriously.
我只是希望她没有 把那个吻看得太认真
So, you're not planning on pursuing her?
那么你没有想要追求她?
No, no, no. In fact, I got a date tonight with a lovely sex addict
实际上 今晚我和一个有性瘾的人订了约会
whose therapist is on vacation.
她的心理医生去度假了
It's what we eligible bachelors call "a window of opportunity."
这就是我们单身汉所说的"机不可失"
You know, Charlie,
知道吗 查理?
there's a special section in hell reserved for people like you.
地狱里面有一个特别区域 专门为你这种人开设呢
That's good, 'cause I'd hate to have to stand on line.
很好 我不用排队了
So I'm like, "Yeah, I can make a lot of money "as a lingerie model,
我说 没错啊 我确实能靠作内衣模特赚好多
but then who's gonna take me seriously as a director?"
但是谁会把我导演的身份认真看待呢?
Good point. Sometimes I wish I wasn't beautiful.
有时候 我真希望自己不这么漂亮
I mean, ugly people have it so easy, you know?
丑人们是多么幸福啊
I've heard.
我听说了
So, what about you? Still writing jingles?
那么...你怎么样? 还在写广♥告♥歌♥吗?
Just during the day.
只是白天写歌♥
At night, I dress up as a big spider and fight crime.
晚上我穿成大蜘蛛的样子和打击犯罪
Huh. You know, I dated a cop once.
你知道我和什么人约会过吗?
Well, it wasn't so much a date as a way to get out of a ticket.
其实那是为了逃票也不算约会啦...
Interesting.
真有趣
Okay. Here we are.
好了 我们到了
Ah. I hope this place has fresh lobster.
哦 我真希望这家店有新鲜龙虾
That frozen stuff is just disgusting.
那些冷冻龙虾真是太恶心了!
You know what, Herb? Forget it. I'll do it myself.
知道吗 哈珀 还是算了吧 我自己干!
I said I would do it-- I'll do it!
我说过会干就会干的
For God's sake, Judith, get off his back!
看在上帝的份上 朱迪丝 放过他吧!
No one's talking to you, Myra!
没人跟你说话 迈拉!
Okay, everyone calm down. I'm doing it.
所有人都冷静下! 我现在就去干
Oh. Hi, Charlie.
哦 嘿 查理
Hey, Herb.
嘿 哈珀
Just taking out the trash.
我只是...把垃圾带出去
Yeah, I'm coming from doing the same thing.
我来这里是做"同样的事情"
Great. He leaves the door wide op...
很好 你又忘了锁门
What the hell are you doing here?
你在这里干什么?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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