好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E02
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:56 p.m.
Drink, gamble and hump all you want.
你可以继续喝酒 赌博 嫖♥妓♥ 为所欲为
One day you're gonna have to face that fact.
但总有一天你必须面对现实
Drink, gamble and hump.
喝酒 赌博 嫖♥妓♥
Yeah, well, I don't have to face anything
好的 我不需面对任何事情
I don't wanna face.
我不想面对
And I don't have to feel anything I don't wanna feel.
我不需要去感觉 任何我不想感觉的事情
That includes Mom's vodka knockers.
而这包括妈妈的伏特加常客
Who is this vod Kanockers that you speak of?
你说的这个伏特加常客是谁?
Eat your dinner.
吃你的晚餐
The name's Kanockers,
名字是Kanockers
Shh.
嘘
You okay?
你还好么?
Just dandy.
不错
Would you close the blinds?
你可以关门么?
Come on. Let's get you inside.
起来.让我把你弄进来
It looks like you had a tough night.
看起来你过了很糟糕的一个晚上
No, the night was great.
不 晚上非常棒
It's the morning that's killing me.
是早上差点害死了我
Hey, Alan?
嗨 艾伦?
What?
什么事?
You were right.
你是对的
I can't keep running away from my feelings.
我不能一直逃避我的感觉
Well, I'm glad you realize that.
呃 我很高兴你意识到这点
You're a wonderful brother.
你是个非常棒的兄弟
And this is a beautiful hat.
这是一顶非常漂亮的帽子
Thank you.
谢谢你
Charlie, are you okay?
查理 你没事吧?
I'm fine.
我没事
The hat's not so good.
这帽子就不成了
Hey, Berta, wanna see my armpit hair?
嘿 贝塔 想看看我的腋毛么?
Only if you wanna see mine.
如果你也想看我的话
Hey.
嘿
Hey.
嘿
You know that's my juice.
你知道那是我的果汁
I know.
我知道
You could at least ask.
你至少应该先问问我
You could at least pay rent.
你至少应该付点租金
Touch?
看看
If that's a bookie or a woman, you know what to say.
如果是个赛马组织者或者女人 你知道该怎么说
Harper residence.
Harper家
Sorry, he's dead.
对不起 他已经死了
Interesting. No one ever calls back to
有意思 没有人再打电♥话♥回来
find out where to send flowers.
问问该把花寄到哪里
Touch?
看看
How's it feel to go a whole week
一整周没有豪饮
without booze, broads or betting?
性♥交♥和赌博的感觉怎样?
It's actually kind of a relief.
实际上是一种意义的解脱
I never realized how much effort it took
我从没想过需要多少努力
to avoid feeling anything.
才能避免想起任何事情
Yeah? What are you feeling now?
是么? 呃 你现在感觉怎么样?
So far, mostly nausea and boredom.
目前为止 大部分是恶心还有厌倦
Touch?
看看
You don't know what that means, do you?
你不知道那意味着什么 你知道么?
Not a clue.
完全不知
Hey, if girls with big boobs work at Hooters
嘿 如果胸部大的女孩在Hooters工作
where do girls with only one leg work at?
那只有一条腿的女孩在哪里工作?
That's just cruel.
这太残忍♥了
Actually, it's kind of funny.
事实上 这有点好笑
Yeah, because they got one leg. They have to hop.
是的 因为她们只有一只脚 她们必须跳跃
Right, IHoP.
对的 我跳跃
Tipping your waitress takes on a whole new meaning.
倾倒你的服务生有了 一个全新的含义
It's not that funny.
没有那么可笑
I know.
我知道
Then why are you laughing so much?
那你为什么笑这么厉害?
I don't know.
我不知道
Dad, something's wrong with Uncle Charlie.
爸爸 查理叔叔有点不对劲
What's going on?
发生什么事情了?
Hey, Jake,
好啊 杰克
tell your dad
告诉你♥爸♥爸
how one legged girls work at IHoP.
一个只有一只脚的女孩是 如何在Ihop工作的
Oh, no.
哦 不
I gave away the joke.
我把那个笑话先露底了
I'm so sorry, Jake.
我很抱歉 杰克
I've ruined everything.
我弄糟了所有的东西
Is he okay?
他没事吧?
He's fine. His feelings are coming to the surface.
他没事. 他的感觉都回到了表面
Oh, like when Mom gets PMS.
哦 就像妈妈的经期前综合症
Well, kind of.
呃 有一点吧
Hang on, Uncle Charlie,
坚持住 查理叔叔
I'll get you some chocolate.
我帮你去拿点巧克力
What's he making out there?
他在那里编织什么?
A lanyard.
一个绳索
He's got a lot of free time now
他现在有很多空余时间了
so I gave him one of Jake's old hobby kits.
所以我给了他杰克旧爱好的装备之一
You know, so he'd have something to do.
你知道 这样他就有事情可做了
I'm surprised he's not making a vagina out of macaroni
我很惊讶他没有用通心粉
and bottle caps.
和瓶帽做出阴♥道♥来
Over, loop around
穿过去 打个结 绕一圈
around the block and then downtown.
围着这块 然后再绕回去
Over, over,
穿越 穿越
loop around
穿越 绕圈
around the block and then
围着这块 然后再绕......
Yo, dude, some of us are trying to do crafts here.
唷 伙计 我们这里有人正在做手艺活儿
What?
什么?
Can you lay off the harmonica playing?
你可以停止演奏你的口琴么?
Hey, a lot of people pay to see me play harmonica.
嘿 许多人付钱看我演奏口琴
They pay to hear you sing.
他们付钱去听你唱歌♥
They tolerate the harmonica.
他们忍♥受口琴声
Sorry I don't measure up to your musical standards
抱歉我没有达到你的音乐品位
you lame ass jingle writer.
你这个混帐笨蛋短曲作曲
Let's see
好吧 让我们看看
how you play harmonica out your other end.
你如何用脚演奏口琴
No, no, no, let's slow down here. Come on.
等 等 等等 平静下来 拜托
Let's see what you got, jingle balls.
让我瞧瞧你到底有什么 铃儿响叮铛么?
I'm gonna rip off your big lips
好 我要撕掉你不知廉耻的大嘴
and use them to kiss my ass.
让它亲吻我的屁♥股♥
Charlie, please,
查理 别这样 别这样
you know your emotions are a little bit frayed now.
你知道现在你的情绪有点冲动
Right, right, okay. Okay.
对 对. 好的 好的
I'm better.
我好多了
That's it.
就是现在
No, Charlie.
不 查理.查理 等等
Charlie, wait. Charlie, don't do this.
查理 不要这么做
Come on, Tyler. You want a piece of me?
过来 泰勒 你想和我♥干♥一架么?
Well, the dude may look like a lady,
你知道 那伙计看起来像个小妞
but you fight like a little girl.
但是你打起架来像个小女孩
Did it ever occur to you to help me out?
你曾经帮我解决过麻烦么?
Yeah, but once you were cowering
呃 没有 但是一旦你退缩到
under his picnic table. I figured the worst was over.
他的野餐桌下时我认为 最坏的已经过去了
Though quick thinking, squirting that bottle of sun block at him.
哦 急中生智将那瓶防晒霜喷向他
I was hoping it would get in his eyes and blind him.
我希望能喷进他的眼睛 让他看不见东西
All you did was keep him from getting a burn
呃 是的 你所做的一切 就是使得他在揍你的
while he beat the crap out of you.
时候不会被烧焦
Please, Alan, I'm begging you.
艾伦 求求你别说了
Okay. It's not right to kick a man when he's down.
好. 在一个人失意时再踩一脚是不对的
Thanks.
谢谢
Too bad Steven Tyler didn't feel that way, huh? Heh.
Steven 泰勒 并不那样想 这太糟糕了 是不是?
You were right about Mia.
关于米娅 你是正确的
I got cold feet, so I used you as an excuse
我胆怯了 所以我利用你作为借口
to call off the wedding.
来取消婚礼
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
剧集 | 好汉两个半（2003） | 导航列表