好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E22
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:59 p.m.
With my kid waiting in the car.
我的孩子还在车里等我
Nice try.
想得美
hey,dad,guess what?
嘿 爸 你猜发生了什么?
Whoa,whoa,whoa,whoa,he doesn't need to know.
喔…他没必要知道
Why not?
为什么?
Think about it.
你想想
What's your father going to do when he finds out you've got $1,120?
当你♥爸♥知道你有了一千一百二十块钱他会怎么做?
Don't worry,I'm not going to lend him any.
别担心 我一分钱都不会借给他
No,you clod.
不是这个 笨蛋
He's going to make you put it in the bank.
他会让你存进银行
Oh,yeah.
对哦
Plus he's going to give me grief for taking you to the track.
而且他还会埋怨我带你去赌马
Oh,so I guess that means I've got leverage on you.
哦 我猜现在我比你更有"筹码"
Hey,I can live with the grief.
嘿…他埋怨我不要紧
Can you live without the money?
但你舍得失去那些钱吗?
No,I love the money.
不行 我爱我的钱
Okay,so here's what you do.
好 照我说的做
Hide it in your room someplace no one will look.
把钱藏在你房♥间里别人找不到的地方
Oh,I saw this movie once where they put the money in a plastic bag
我在电影里看过有人把钱放在塑料袋里
and hung it in the toilet.
然后挂在马桶水箱里
Bad idea.
这主意很糟糕
Your toilet sees way too much action.
你的马桶使用得太频繁了
Okay,I'll buy a big safe.
好吧 我去买♥♥个大保险箱
Oh,brilliant-- that won't raise any questions.
真聪明啊 那还真是"低调"
Just stick it in a shoe.
塞在你的鞋里就好了
But what if I want to wear it?
我要穿的时候怎么办?
Then put it in a different shoe.
那就把钱放到另一只鞋里...
But not the same pair,right?
但不是同一双鞋 对吧?
Correct.
正确
Now,you have to be careful spending it.
现在你要小心地花这笔钱
You don't want to call attention to yourself.
不能太引人注意
Okay,I'll just get a plasma tv.
好 我就去买♥♥台等离子电视好了
No,no,no,no,no plasma tvs,
不…不要买♥♥等离子电视
not computers,no expensive video games.
也不要买♥♥电脑和昂贵的视频游戏
Buy small stuff that no one will notice.
买♥♥点别人不会注意到的小东西
Like donuts?
比如甜甜圈?
Perfect.
非常好
What about a donut machine?
甜甜圈制♥作♥机怎么样?
Okay,you're not hearing me.
好吧 你没明白我的意思
I could hide it in the safe.
我可以把它藏在我的保险箱里
Get out of here.
快进去
Hey,where have you been?
嘿 你去哪了?
I told you-- the dmv.
我告诉过你了 车管所啊
All day?You should have made an appointment.
一整天? 你应该提前预约的
Yeah,next time I'll know.
是 下次我就知道了
So what did you guys do today?
你们今天都做什么了?
Oh,not much.
噢 没什么
We just hung out,ran a few errands.
我们出去办了点事
Oh,did you help him with his book report?
你有没有帮助他做读书报告?
Yes,I did.
有的
Really?
真的吗?
No.
没有
Charlie,you said you'd help him.
查理 你说了你会的
Yeah,well,you said you'd only be living here for a couple weeks.
是啊 你还说你只在这里住几周呢
And you weren't drunk when you said it.
而且你说的时候可没喝醉
Fair enough.
扯平了
So you guys just ran errands all day?
那么你们一整天都在办事?
Yes,errands.
是的 办事
Where is he,in his room?
他在哪 在他的房♥间里?
Yes,his room.
是的 他的房♥间
Thanks for keeping an eye on him.
谢谢你今天照顾他
No problem.
不客气
Oh,I have a bad feeling.
我有不祥的预感
Hey,jake,I'm back.
嘿杰克 我回来了
I was thinking...
我在想...
charlie made me go to the track.
查理伯伯逼我去赌马
what a day.
好累的一天
Just sitting and sitting and sitting.
一直坐着……
It was like jury duty,without the fun of sending someone to jail.
像应♥召♥作陪审员一样 只是少了送某人去监狱的乐趣
Sounds awful.
听起来很可怕
Yeah,yeah.
是啊…
So...
那么...
you guys ran errands today.
你们今天出去办事了
The little rat bastard sold me out,didn't he?
那个小混♥蛋♥把我出♥卖♥♥♥了是不是?
Almost immediately.
几乎是立刻就招了
Why would you take a 13-year-old boy to the track?
你为什么要带一个13岁的孩子去马场?
Hey,I thought it would be better than him hanging around the house all day doing nothing.
我觉得比他整天在屋子里无所事事强得多
He was supposed to be doing his book report.
他应该做读书报告的
Oh,yeah.
哦 对哦
And come to think of it,
而且提到这个
weren't you supposed to be working on some big credit card jingle?
你不是要给一个大型信♥用♥卡♥公♥司♥写广♥告♥歌♥吗?
I'm percolating.
我正让它"浸润"呢
Boy,you are some role model.
噢 天啊 你还真是孩子的榜样呢!
Well,one of us has to be.
哦 我们中总要有一个人作出榜样啊
So,uh,exactly how much did he win?
那么...他赢了多少? 一千一百块
Wow.
哇!
Forget iT.
忘了吧
He's not going to loan you any.
他一分也不会借给你
All right,all right,we'll put it in the bank.
好吧 我们去存起来
It'll be a nice addition to his college fund.
对于他的大学基金来说是比不小的进项
What college fund?
什么大学基金?
The one with $1,100 in it.
那个有一千一百块的大学基金...
Come on,alan.
得了吧 艾伦.
He won the money fair and stupid.
他光明正大而又愚蠢地赢得了这笔钱 （fair and stupid源自于fair and square光明正大)
So you think I ought to let him keep it?
你觉得我应该让他自己留着?
What's the worst that could happen?
他又能怎么样?
So he blows it.
他会把钱挥霍光
It's a life lesson and we get a donut machine.
这是人生的一课 而我们还会得到一个甜甜圈制♥作♥机
What?
什么?
It's just money,alan.
就是些钱而已 艾伦
I don't want him to think like that.
我不想让他那么想
Oh,much better he think like you?
难道要像你一样想?
Squirreling away every dime he makes
把挣到的每一毛钱都存起来
so he'll haven it handy for alimony payments and phone sex?
方便以后用来付赡养费和打色情电♥话♥?
For the last time,I misdialed.
上次是我拨错号♥码了
Yeah,every wednesday night for 20 minutes.
是啊 每周三晚上都有20分钟拨错号♥码...
Okay,okay,we are not talking about the phone bills.
好吧好吧 我们不是在谈论电♥话♥费账单
We are talking about teaching jake sound financial principles.
我们是在谈论怎样教杰克了解良好的理财原则
And I am entitled to a date night.
而且我有权来个"约会之夜"!
Fine.
好吧
Take the money away from him.
把他的钱收走
No,no,I'm not going to be the bad guy.
哦 不…我才不当坏人
I'm not going to be the bad guy either.
我也不当
Why not?It's your fault.
为什么不? 这是你的错
Hey,if you want to point the finger,
嘿 如果你要指责谁
look for the horse trainer who put crystal meth in mr.Mcglue's feed bag.
应该去找找是哪个驯马师往"McGlue先生" 的饲料袋里放了冰♥毒♥!
I'll bet that clydesdale is still running.
我打赌那匹马到现在还跑着呢
Okay,okay,you think you know best?
好吧…你觉得你的想法很好?
We'll let him keep the money.
我们让他把钱留着
But mark my words,no good can come from a boy like jake
记住我说的 对杰克这种小男孩来说
having that kind of cash to throw arounD.
有这么多钱挥霍绝不会是什么好事
Oh come on,the kid might surprise you.
噢 拜托 说不定他会给你个惊喜呢
Here's a hundred bucks.
这一百块给你
What's that for?
怎么了?
I broke a lamp.
我弄坏了一个台灯
it's the card that's accepted all over the globe something,
这是全球通用的信♥用♥卡♥
something...
就像...
terrycloth robe.
毛巾布睡袍 ("全球"globe和"睡袍"robe押韵)
That's enough for today.
今天就写到这里了
Have you see jake?
嘿 看见杰克了吗?
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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