好汉两个半（2003）

Two and a Half Men S04E10

Part 2 Nov. 17, 2020, 1:57 p.m.

call my lawyer.
打电♥话♥给我的律师
What are you doing?
你在干吗?
Chester lost his bone. I'm looking for it.
切斯特的骨头不见了我正在找它
Now? Can't it wait?
现在?不能等会吗?
No. When Chester wakes up from his nap,
不等切斯特睡醒了
he's gonna want his bone.
它会找它的骨头的
You can keep talking.
你继续说吧
Okay, well, as I said,
好多我是说
if you won't be reasonable, I'll just have to
如果你要无理取闹我不得不去
Have to what, Alan?
不得不怎样艾伦?
Son of a bitch.
贱♥人♥！
What the?
见鬼...?
We need to talk.
我们必须谈谈
Okay.
好吧
I don't mind your girlfriends throwing the occasional thong
我不介意你女朋友乱扔特制的皮带
or panties into the hamper.
或把内♥裤♥扔到篮子里
I just boil them and sell them at the swap meet.
我只能煮了它们并拿到旧物出♥售♥会去卖♥♥掉
But this broad is taking advantage of
可这女人正是利用了
my easygoing nature.
我温和的天性
Now, to be fair,
公平些
Lydia does have her positive attributes.
莉迪亚的确有她的优点
Yeah, well, I ain't hitting any of them attributes,
嗯我可没觉得它们是优点
so I don't give a rat's ass.
我才不在乎呢
All right, all right.
好吧好吧
You know what she said to me, Charlie?
查理你知道她说了什么吗?
She said I need to learn my place around here.
她说我要搞清楚自己在这个家里的地位
Oh, she didn't.
啊她不会那么说
Ah, but she did.
啊可她的确说了
Is that true, Charlie?
是这样吗查理?
Do I need to learn my place around here?
我需要搞清楚自己的地位吗?
No, we all know your place.
不需要贝塔我们都清楚你的地位
Where is that place?
那我的地位是什么查理?
Wherever you want it to be.
什么都行
There is only room
这只有一个位置
for one alpha dog in this house. I know.
是给老大的我明白
Who is that alpha dog, Charlie?
谁是老大呢查理?
You are. Say it. You're the alpha dog.
你是是什么你是老大
Aw. You sweet talker you.
哈和你谈话真愉快
We'll just pretend that's morning wood.
假设这就是晨运吧
Hey, how's it going?
嗨你还好吗?
Well, look who's finally up.
看看是谁终于起床了
I need some lotion on my back.
帮我涂下防晒霜吧
Oh, sure.
没问题
Listen, I have to talk to you about Berta.
听着我想和你谈谈贝塔
For God's sake, Charlie, grow a pair.
看在上帝的份上成熟点吧查理
Is this your house or hers?
这是你家还是她家?
Well, my name's on the deed, but she was here first.
房♥产证上写的是我不过在这她是老大
Thing is, over the years,
事实上这么多年
Berta and I have developed
贝塔和我建立了
a really nice working relationship and
非常好的工作关系
Do my thighs.
涂在大腿上
Right.
好吧
And the key to a happy home,
我发现使家庭和睦的关键
I find, is to not rock the boat
不要动摇基本的东西
not tamper with that balance.
不要打破平衡状态
You need to make the effort to treat her
所以你需要努力...
Where is she now?
她在哪里?
Huh? She went shopping.
啊?哦她去买♥♥东西了
Anybody else around?
家里还有人吗?
No. Anyway, the thing with Berta
没了不过关于贝塔...
Why don't you put sunscreen on your cute little bottom?
为什么不在你可爱的小屁♥股♥上也涂点防晒霜?
What for?
用来干吗?
I wouldn't want you to get a nasty burn.
因为我不想你给晒伤
Why would I get a nasty?
为什么我会晒...?
Oh, you mean sex.
噢我们要做♥爱♥
Good thing you're pretty because you're very slow.
好事情是你很机灵因为你非常迟钝?
"Who's the alpha dog, Charlie?"
谁才是老大查理?
"Grow a pair, Charlie. "
成熟点查理
Hey, Alan, come here.
嘿艾伦过来
What's going on?
怎么了?
I'm doing Lydia's laundry.
我在为莉迪亚洗衣服
Can I throw in my handkerchief?
可以把我的手帕也洗了吗?
It wouldn't help.
没用的
You probably have to burn it.
你应该烧了它
Okay. And why are you doing Lydia's laundry?
好的为什么你要为莉迪亚洗衣服
Because Berta won't.
因为贝塔不肯洗
Then why doesn't Lydia do it herself?
那为什么莉迪亚不自己洗呢
Because I told her I'd get Berta to do it.
因为我告诉她我会让贝塔洗
Aha. Do you have any idea how to do laundry?
啊你会洗衣服吗?
You wash them, you dry them,
别逗了不就是洗了晾干而已嘛
how tough could it be?
能有多难啊?
So, what do you need me for?
那你还找我♥干♥吗?
Which one's the washer?
哪个是洗衣机?
That one.
那个
Thanks.
谢谢
Just kidding, it's that one.
骗你的是那个
Sorry, it was the first one.
抱歉是第一个
Look, it says "wash" on the dial.
自己看啊不写着"清洗"吗
Okay. Okay, I can do this.
好了好了我会了
I just turn it on and stick them in.
启动它然后插♥进♥去
It's a washing machine, not a cocktail waitress.
这是洗衣机不是酒吧女服务员
Let's start by separating her delicates.
我们先得把小件衣服分出来
How is that not like a cocktail waitress?
为什么不像酒吧女服务员呢?
The reason you do these separately is
要分开的原因
they're mostly synthetic.
是他们大部分是人造的
Add a beatup Civic and an exhusband
加上一个旧人和一个前夫
and we're back to cocktail waitress.
我们还是回去找酒吧女服务员吧
Charming. Hand me the detergent.
好极了把洗洁剂给我
This stuff here?
是这个吗?
No, no, that's fabric softener.
不不是那是织物软化剂
You put that in after the first rinse cycle.
那是在第一次漂清后放的
You know what? Maybe I'll just buy her some new clothes.
干脆给她买♥♥新衣服好了
Don't be such a baby.
别傻了
Detergent.
这才是洗洁剂
See?
看到没?
There we go.
这就行了
Cold wash,
冷水洗
cold rinse,
冷水漂
gentle cycle,
选择温和洗衣程序
done.
搞定
What's that?
什么声音?
That would be water entering the washing machine.
那是水正注入洗衣机的声音
Amazing.
太神奇了恩
Yeah, it's pretty cutting edge.
嗯它很有用
Did I break it?
我打断它了吗?
Close the lid.
关上盖子
Son of a gun.
真好玩
What will they think of next?
天知道它们下一步要干嘛?
Yeah, I hear scientists are working on a machine
嗯我听说科学家用一种机器
that can cook two pieces of bread at the same time.
可以同时烤两片面包
Yeah, yeah, yeah, very funny.
嗯嗯很有趣
Now what?
现在做什么?
We wait.
等着就行
How will we know when they're done?
怎么知道已经洗好了呢?
Don't worry. The machine will call you on your cell phone.
别担心洗衣机会打电♥话♥给你如果它有手♥机♥的话
Really?
真的么?
I don't know what Berta's always complaining about.
我不明白贝塔整天抱怨什么
This is fun.
这多有意思啊
Well, you're dealing with pretty girl underwear.
嗯你正在洗美女的内衣
Berta's gotta handle Jake's skivvies
而贝塔却要洗杰克的内衣