好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E20
Part 2
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:58 p.m.
Morning. Morning.
早上好 早上好
Boy,I slept great.
哦! 我睡得真好!
Jake's bed is really comfortable.
杰克的床还真舒服呢
Don't bother.He knows.
别装了 他知道了
Boy,I slept great.
哦! 我睡得真好!
Charlie's a terrific lover.
查理是个很好的爱人
Oh,this one's going to be bad.
哦 这次情况会更糟
I don't understand why I can't have the blue tuxedo.
我不明白为什么不能穿蓝色的礼服
Because you're going to your mother's wedding,
因为你是去参加妈妈的婚礼
not hosting a game show on telemundo.
而不是去主持Telemundo台的什么游戏节目! (Telemundo:美国第二大西班牙语电视台)
This from a grown man wearing a green polo shirt.
这话竟然出自一个穿着 绿色Polo衫的大男人...
Look,all the other men are going to be wearing black tuxedos.
听着 其他男人都会穿黑礼服的
If all the other men were jumping off a bridge would you want me to do that,too?
如果其他人都在从桥上往下跳 你也会让我那么做吗?
If it would keep your mother off my back,yes.
如果能让你妈妈不再烦我 我会的
I'll get the jacket. Thank you.
我去拿外套 谢谢
Listen,this is a very big day for your mother.
听着 今天对你妈妈来说非常重要
It's important that you cooperate and make her proud of you.
你要听话 要让她为你自豪 这很重要
I'm her son she has to be proud of me.
我是她儿子 她必须为我自豪
You think so,huh?
你还真这么想?
Have you met my mother? Oh,yeah.
你见过我妈吗? 哦 也对
Let me explain something to you.
让我告诉你些事情
A woman's wedding day is something she will remember for the rest of her life.
一个女人结婚的那天会被她永远铭记
So if you screw it up,she will never forgive you.
如果你搞砸了婚礼 她绝不会原谅你
Even if it were your brother's fault
就算是你哥哥的错...
and that there was nothing you could do to prevent it short of having him fixed.
而且你也阻止不了那事发生 除非把他送进精神病院
Don't worry,dad,it will be fine.
别担心 爸爸 会顺利的
Thank you.
谢谢
I don't have a brother.
我没有哥哥
Okay,we haven't really talked about what all this means.
好吧 我们从没认真谈过这些都意味着什么
What what means?
什么? 什么意味着什么?
All the big changes that are happening.
正在发生的这些大变化
It's just a couple of hairs,dad.
只是长几根毛儿而已 老爸
It's not that big a deal.
没什么大不了的
Not-not those changes,but...
不是指那些变化...而是...
the wedding,I mean,you're going to have a stepdad in your life.
婚礼...我是说 你会有一个继父了
So?
那又怎样?
So,is there anything you want to talk about?
那样的话...你有没有什么想跟我谈谈的?
Do you have any questions?
有没有什么问题要问我?
Just one. Yeah,buddy?
有一个问题 什么? 伙计?
Why can't I wear the blue tuxedo?
我为什么不能穿蓝色礼服呢?
jake,your dinner's getting cold.
杰克 你的晚餐要凉了!
So,what did you guys do today?
那么...今天你们都干什么了?
We went on the universal studios tour
我们去了"环球电影公♥司♥之旅"
and then charlie took me to the hollywood wax museum.
然后Charlie带我去了好莱坞蜡像馆 (Universal Studios Tour:一个电影主题公园)
You're kidding! I thought you hated that touristy stuff.
你开玩笑吧? 我以为你讨厌那些景点呢
What gave you that idea?
为什么这么说?
Well,whenever I ask you to go someplace like that
无论什么时候我要你跟我去这种地方
you say,"I hate that touristy stuff.
你就说 "我讨厌那些景点"
Well,this is different. How?
这次不同 如何不同?
I enjoy her company.
有她陪伴我很高兴!
And it's my first trip to L.A.
而这是我第一次来洛杉矶
So I want to do all the traditional stuff.
所以我想体验那些经典项目
Tomorrow,we're going to sit in rush hour traffic and give other drivers the finger.
明天 我们会在高峰时间 游车河并且给其他司机比中指
Good evening.
晚安
Why are you wearing that?
干嘛穿着礼服?
You said I looked great in it.
你说我穿着很好看
You do,but I don't want you messing it up before your mom's wedding.
确实好看 但是我可不想让你 在你妈妈的婚礼前把它弄脏了
I won't mess it up.
我才不会弄脏它
Oh,come on,alan,you've got to admit he lends a bit of class to the place.
哦 拜托 艾伦 你得承认 他给这个房♥间带来了些格调
Thank you,my good man.
谢谢 我的男主人
Hey,speaking of the wedding,charlie,I have a favor I'd like to ask.
嘿 提到婚礼 查理 我需要你帮个忙
Sure.
当然可以
Well,I have to be there,and I was just thinking that
我必须要参加婚礼 而我在想...
the only way it is going to be any fun,is if you come with me.
要让我不烦死的唯一方法 就是你跟我一起去
you want me to be your date at judith's wedding?
你想让我作你在朱迪丝婚礼上的男伴?
yeah.
没错
We'll have some laughs what do you say?
咱俩会有很多欢笑的 你意下如何?
I'm laughing already.
我已经在笑了
well,that's too bad,herb!
那太糟糕了 哈珀
You tell judith if she wants me to be a bridesmaid and wear that brown satin turd of a dress
你告诉朱迪丝 如果她想让我这个 伴娘穿着那件大便一样的棕缎礼服
then I am entitled to bring whoever I want as a date,and I want charlie!
我就有权力带我想要的男伴去! 而我想要带Charlie!
Okay,bye.See?No problem.
好的再见 看吧 没问题的
Hi,judith.
嘿 朱迪丝
Problem.
有问题了
Here's your suit. Thanks,berta.
这是你的礼服 谢谢 Berta
The dry cleaners found $46 and a condom in the breast pocket.
干洗店在衣袋里 找到了46美元和一个套套
Here's the condom.
这是那个套套
Again,thanks.
再次感谢
Can I give you some free advice?
让我给你些免费的建议吧
Free?I'm already down $46.
免费? 我已经亏46美元了
What is it you always say about going to a wedding with a woman you're sleeping with?
你曾经对与"和一个正和你 上♥床♥的女人去参加婚礼"发表过评论...
This is different,berta.
这次情况不同 贝塔
You say and I quote "better I should light myself on fire and run through a meth lab.
你的评论我引用如下: "不如我引火自焚 再跑过做甲安菲他明的实验室" (甲安菲他明:非法致幻剂 原料有毒并易爆)
Oh,that's just a figure of speech.
哦 我那只是打个比方而已
Come on,charlie,what are you doing with this girl?
拜托 查理 你要拿这个女孩子怎么办呢?
What do you mean?
你什么意思?
I mean,she's a nice kid.
我的意思是 她是个好女孩
You're gonna break her heart.
你会让她心碎的
You don't know that. I know you.
你怎么知道! 我了解你
Myra's not one of your handi wipes in high heels that you can just throw out after you...
迈尔不是什么穿着高跟鞋的"纸巾"让你在...
wipe your handi. Yeah?
擦完你的"把儿"后就扔掉 是吗?
Well,you don't know what you're talking about,
你根本不知道自己在说些什么
because this relationship is not based on sex.
因为我们的关系根本不是基于性的
Not based on sex?
不是基于性的?
Well,unless she sweats bourbon and farts hundred-dollar bills
除非她流的汗是波旁酒 放的屁伴着百元钞票
what exactly is gonna keep you together?
你俩又有什么常相厮守的动力呢?
Oh,crap.
哦 糟糕
No,judith,you listen to me.
不 朱迪丝 你听着!
If myra wants to bring charlie to the wedding,then that's her business.
如果迈尔想要带查理去婚礼 那是她的事情
N-no.
不
No,I will not intervene,and you're just gonna have to live with it.
不 我才不会干涉呢 你就忍♥了吧!
Good-bye!
再见!
I changed my mind. I'm not going to the wedding.
我改主意了 不去婚礼了
Ooh,thank god!
哦 感谢上帝!
Judith,great news.
朱迪丝 好消息
I talked him out of it.
我说服他不去了
Hey. Hey.
嘿 嘿
Whatcha doing? Grading tests.
你干什么呢? 判卷子
10th grade economics?
10年级的经济学?
Ask me a question okey
问我个问题 好吧
The functions and implications of monetary policy...
货币政策的功能与含义...
never mind.
算了
You sure?I grade on a curve.
确定吗? 我通过成绩分布曲线打分的哦 (把学生们的表现正态分布后再打分 这样的分数表明学生的相对水平而不是绝对分数)
That's all right; I'm stupid on a straight line.
无所谓了 我是直线型的傻
Listen,um...about the wedding,uh...
听着 关于婚礼...
I don'T...I don't think I should go.
我觉得我不该参加
Okay.
好吧
I'm just concerned that-that maybe we should slow things down a bit.
我只是觉得我们应该放慢速度
What things? You know...things.
把什么放慢速度? 你知道的..."我们之间"...
I mean...you don't know me that well,and...
我是说 你不怎么了解我 而我...
I'm afraid that I might hurt you without meaning to.
我害怕无意中伤害了你
Don't worry about it. Okay,good.I won'T.
别担心这个 好吧 好 我不担心
Exactly what is it I'm not worrying about?
我到底不需要担心什么啊?
Hurting me. Right.
不需要担心伤害我 对了
And why am I not worrying about that?
我为什么不需要担心伤害你?
I'm a big girl,charlie.
我是个大孩子了 查理
Some might even say a woman.
甚至有人都叫我为"女人"了
I want to go to the wedding with you.
我想和你一起去参加婚礼
Don't worry about jake I'll get him there in plenty of time.
别担心杰克 我们会提前到的
Well,you are very welcome.
不客气
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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