好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men S04E07
Part 3
Nov. 17, 2020, 1:56 p.m.
with this Ronald guy?
你是希望能达到什么目的?
Well, in a perfect world he'd dump his wife
最完美的情况 就是他甩了他老婆
and marry my little hosebag.
然后娶我那放荡的小女儿
But I'll settle for him stepping up
不过我可以接受
and paying for his mistake.
他花钱消灾
And if he declines?
如果他拒绝呢?
That's why I brought you.
这时候你就派上用场了
Me?
我?
All I could do at this point is pee on his rug.
这时候我能做的 就是尿在他的地毯上
You still have to go?
你还是很想尿?
Well, yeah, it doesn't evaporate.
当然 尿又不会蒸发
Can't we pull over for a minute?
可以开到路边停一下吗?
In this neighborhood in a Mercedes?
在这个地区停奔驰?
Sure, if you're partial to car theft and sodomy.
当然可以 如果你喜欢偷车贼和鸡♥奸♥犯的话
Take a left, right up here.
在这里左转
That's not a road.
那里没路
Well, not during rainy season.
在雨季的时候就能看到路
Oh, God.
哦 天啊!
I think I hit a dog.
我想我撞到狗了!
Don't worry, it was just a rat.
别担心 那只是只老鼠
It's okay, he's getting up.
没事的 它爬起来了
What's this stuff called again?
你刚才说这东西叫什么?
Vitamin E oil.
维生素E油 哦
It feels really good.
感觉很舒服
Hi, Mom. I'm ready to go.
嗨 妈 我准备好了
Where's your father?
你♥爸♥呢?
He's in the den rubbing oil on Naomi.
他在小房♥间帮娜奥米擦油
Who's Naomi?
谁是娜奥米?
Berta's daughter.
贝塔的女儿
Your father's rubbing oil on a woman in front of you?
你♥爸♥当着你的面帮一个女人擦油?
No, I couldn't watch.
没 我不敢看
It was too creepy.
太恐怖了
Well, we'll just see about that.
那我们只好过去看看了
Oh, and by the way, I found out why I get bad grades.
哦 对了 我知道为何我成绩会不好了
It's all your fault.
都是你的错
Why is it my fault?
为什么是我的错?
You know.
你知道的
Oh, yeah, Alan.
哦 好耶 艾伦
Wait in the car.
去车上等
Alan, what do you think you're doing?
艾伦 你这是在干什么?
Oh, hi.
嗨 朱迪丝
Naomi was worried about stretch marks.
娜奥米担心会有妊娠纹
I was showing her how vitamin E can prevent them.
所以我告诉她用维生素E可以预防
Then you walked in and that's pretty much it.
然后你就进来了 事情就是这样
Oh, really? Yeah.
哦 真的吗?
Why don't you pull up your top
是的 嘿 你何不把你的上衣拉起来
and let her check out your belly?
让她看看你的肚子?
I will not.
我才不要!
So he rubbed this on you too?
所以他也有帮你擦咯?
Oh, he rubbed, all right.
他是擦过没错
But it was only to satisfy his own twisted needs.
但他只是想满足那变♥态♥的需求
Excuse me, you were the one who was constantly horny.
抱歉哦 不过你自己那时候也是非常的饥渴
And you sure took advantage of it.
而你也充份利用了这点 不是吗?
Hey, when the bar is only open nine months a decade,
嘿 如果一间酒吧十年内只有九个月营业
you drink till you puke.
你就会去喝到吐
And then you keep drinking.
吐完再继续喝
Haha. That's funny.
那很好笑
Hey, buddy.
嘿 老兄
You're turning into quite the little ninja, aren't you?
你快要变成一位小忍♥者了 是吧?
There's just one thing I don't understand.
只有一件事我不了解
What's that, honey?
什么事 亲爱的?
If you have sex with a pregnant lady,
如果和怀孕女人做♥爱♥
wouldn't she have twins?
她会不会生下双胞胎?
No.
不会
Otherwise, I'd be having a whole damn litter.
要不然我会生出一窝来
A lot of cold medicine.
好多感冒药 (感冒药可以提取毒品成份)
Guy must have allergies or something.
他一定有过敏或什么的
You don't watch 60 Minutes, do you?
你都不看"60分钟"的对吧? (美国CBS台节目)
What?
什么事?
You Ronald?
你是罗纳德?
No.
不是
Ronald, who is it?
罗纳德 那是谁啊?
Damn it, Darlene. We're incognito, remember?
该死 达琳 我们是隐姓埋名的 记得吗?
You cops?
你们是警♥察♥?
Yeah.
是的
I'm Scully, this is Mulder.
我是Scully 他是Mulder (X档案里的两位FBI探员)
Listen, can I use your bathroom?
听我说 可以借个厕所吗?
No, no. It's not functioning correctly.
不 不 呃... 厕所无法♥正♥常...使用
We use the Chevron up the block.
我们都到街角那边解决
Bye.
再见
No byebye.
还不能说再见
Ronald, this is the deal.
那么 罗纳德 我就直说了吧
You knocked up my little girl.
你搞大我小女儿的肚子
I wanna know what you're gonna do about it.
然后我想知道你要怎么做
Well, that depends.
呃 要看情况
On what?
什么情况?
Who's your little girl?
你的小女儿是谁?
Naomi.
娜奥米
Naomi.
娜奥米?
Oh, I haven't seen Naomi in a real long time.
哦 我很久很久没有看到娜奥米了
About eight, nine months?
大约八 九个月?
Yeah, that sounds right.
是啊 好像没错
Ronald? What's going on?
罗纳德 发生什么事了?
Nothing, sweet cheeks.
没事 亲爱的
Okay, look.
好 听我说
I'd like to keep this away from the missus.
我不想让我老婆知道这件事
She's a little volatile.
她有一点火爆
Hasrt slept really well.
因为常常睡不好
You got a coffee can or a milk jug,
你们有没有咖啡杯或奶瓶?
I could go around back?
我可以去附近解决再回来?
No, no, it's a real mess back there.
不 不 那里真的是一团乱
Damn it, Darlene. I told you not to smoke in there.
可恶 达琳 我说过不要在里面抽烟 (制毒作坊易爆)
Well, I don't have to pee anymore.
我已经不需要上厕所了
Uh. That feels so good.
感觉好舒服
Sorry.
抱歉
No, no, no, don't be silly.
不 不用抱歉
It's a natural bodily function.
这是...这是人体很自然的反应
The baby is pressing down on the intestines and
小宝宝在压♥迫♥着你的肠胃 然后...
oh, dear Lord.
哦 天啊!
I'm sorry.
我很抱歉
Oh, no, no. No, it's all right. Okay.
不 不 没关系的 没事
I'm used to it.
我已经习惯了
When my wife was pregnant
我老婆怀孕的时候...
oh, that's got some hang time.
哦 持续得真久
You are so sweet, Alan.
你真是体贴 艾伦
How come I've never met a man like you?
为何我从没遇过像你这样的男人?
Well, speaking on behalf of men like me,
我代表像我这样的男人告诉你
we don't get out a lot.
我们不常出门
Sorry.
抱歉
I'm not.
没关系
You know, these sweatpants are really comfortable.
运动裤还蛮舒服的
That's because they're dry.
那是因为是干的
Boy, what a deal.
天啊 真的很划算
What did you call that place again?
你说那地方叫什么来的?
A swap meet.
跳蚤市场
Swap meet.
跳蚤市场
Well, aside from the exploding meth lab and peeing myself,
嗯 制毒作坊爆♥炸♥和尿裤子不算的话
this was a fun little trip.
这次出门还蛮好玩的
I got the sweatpants, a bag of tube socks
我买♥♥了运动裤 一袋直筒袜
four DvDs and a corn dog all for 8 bucks.
四张DVD和一根炸热狗 全部才8块钱
好汉两个半（2003）
Two and a Half Men
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